At the zoo a young man of far Rockaway, There once was a man who went fishin', A man in the battle of Aix, In a ratty bordello in Venice, I once knew a guy from Havana, The wife of an athlete named Chuck, As his duflopper dropped on the floor, There once was a man from Bombay I don't like that anal French kissing; There once was a German, Herr Stein, Aaaw, you've put it away to safe-keep; A geologist named Dr.Robb An eccentric young poet named Brown, An ambitious young fellow named Knight, Young Debbie thinks, "That will suffice!" A central vac owner named Streeter, There was an old man from China, There was a young fellow named Cratchet, (Then very politely, He sent it to Whitely,)
There is a young girl here at Vassar The gunfighter's win meant a notch A mean Carpetbagger named Herman One dark night, a lady from Snelling, There was a young fellow named Goff, There was a young man from Vancouver, In Japan a young GI named Goff, A sorry young soldier was Pete; There was a young man named Martell, There was a young man of Jaipur, There was a young man from Ft. Knox He finally gave up the hunt When ladies are asked why, particular There once was a girl named T.M. When it comes to matters of love,
This is file txl
A man who had more than one penis, A sheik from far-off Xanadu An effete young sailor named Buster, There was a young man from East Wubbley, A laddie from Dublin called Jim My playmates, when I was quite small, There once was a doc named McLeans A lewd-minded dolly named Bunce, There once was a man named Dupree, An extraordinary fellow named Hilary A young Mexican loved to pee; In the shower I clearly could see A young Cuban stud said to me, She's had hundreds of lovers, has Jenny; There is a young fellow from York There once was a man, young and sleek, I dated a guy with two peters; A fellow whose background was rural A practical fellow was Hicks, Perhaps you've heard this one before? These fellows with more than one piston, They don't make 'em that good any more? This really is not new to me, With the third I do have more luck, I speed down the street like a fool; They have sympathy for my plight, The patrons all think they are wise The losers can't dispute the fact If you see my truck speeding by, There was a young lady named Fox I dated a guy with two dicks; An old man with two pricks, from Azores, Let's hear it for gonads -- they're grand; You've heard of this fellow named Young,
Was heard by folks screaming a block away.
He'd got apes in a rage,
Jerking off near their cage,
And they ripped off both balls and tore cock away.
--- G2008
But needed to do some big pissin'.
So he went to a tree,
And he tried to pee,
But he found that his penis was missin'.
--- Anon
Had one nut and his cock shot away.
But found out in this pickle,
His nose could still tickle,
Though he might get the snuffles some day.
--- L1233
An oversexed tourist named Ennis,
Found they'd stolen his money,
And swiped his do-funny,
Which the girls now employ to play tennis.
--- G0668
Like Mitchell, who's now called Diana.
He, too, was transvestic
And often agrestic,
And claimed that he had no "banana"!
--- Anon
Found her married life shit-out-of-luck.
Her husband played hockey
Without wearing a jockey --
Now he hasn't got what it takes for a fuck.
--- L1148
Came this cry from the sad Matador,
"Was it caused when I sneezed
Or was it diseased?
Either way, it won't diddle no more!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 845
Who's penis fell off from decay.
He said with a shrug,
And looked rather smug,
"That's not what I use, anyway."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If you do it again you'll be missing
A gonad or two
And surely will rue
Having nothing to hold while you're pissing.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose dick was whittled out of pine.
A lightning storm
Caused the termites to swarm;
And now he is known as Fraulein.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In your trousers beside your beep-beep.
It'll stay there awhile,
Hope it makes you smile
But where does it go when you sleep?
--- Anon
Was perturbed by his thingamabob.
So he took up his pick
And whanged off his wick,
And calmly went on with his job.
--- L1214
Raised up his embroidered gown,
To look for his peter,
To beat it to meter,
But fainted when none could be found.
--- L1139
Ended up on Skid Row. He got tight,
And rolled in foul ditches
With badly poxed bitches.
And now he has no end in sight.
--- John Ciardi
And jumps from the bed in a trice.
But on her way out,
She brakes off his spout,
And puts his dis-member on ice.
--- Ericka
Inserted the head of his peter.
They found both his balls
In the living room walls,
And his dick in a pipe by the heater.
--- Steve
Who wasn't a very good climber.
He slipped on a brick,
Which severed his prick,
And now he has a vagina.
--- Anon
Who cut off his prick with a hatchet.
He packed it in beer,
Then sent it to Sears,
And ordered a cunt that would match it.
--- L1396
And none, for your needs, could surpass her.
But she cannot detach it,
And much less, dispatch it,
You'll still have to batch it. Alas, sir!
--- L1397
On the pistol grip hung by his crotch.
While playing with his whang,
The pistol went bang,
So now he drowns loss in cheap Scotch.
--- Tucker D Ott P9001
Went South 'long with General Sherman.
Great Granny shot true;
Lord, when she got through,
Herm's gender was hard to determine!
--- Anon
Awoke with a curious swelling,
In the palm of her hand.
It was, Yes!, A male gland!
But whose, she had no way of telling.
--- John Ciardi
Whose amusement was jacking it off.
He pulled it so hard,
It stretched out a yard,
And turned to bright blue and fell off.
--- L1705
Whose existence had lost its prime mover.
But its loss he supplied
With a piece of bull's hide,
Two pears, and the bag from the Hoover.
--- L1357
Fucked a whore with an ill-smelling trough.
The bitch was a dud
With the Japanese crud,
And his pecker turned black and fell off.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1783
Some shrapnel had blown off his meat.
And his arms were just stumps,
But he still got his lumps
For he managed to fuck with his feet.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2184
Who created the wildest cartel.
He bought up dead pricks,
And greased them with Vicks
For sore throats. Oh, My God! How they sell.
--- Anon
Whose cock was shot off in the war.
So he painted his front
To resemble a cunt,
And set himself up as a whore.
--- G2029 L1020
Who was singularly blessed with two cocks.
When used in rotation,
Neither stopped copulation,
But always brought on a hot box.
--- G0590
For a gal with a twin-barrelled cunt,
And forgetting compunction,
Used both in conjunction:
One behind and the other in front.
--- G0591
To his prowess of all things testicular,
He replied, "I at once
Satisfy backs and fronts
With my 2 cocks, for I'm ambidicular."
--- Jon Gearhart
Who lived with her old Auntie Em.
She tried them big,
And small as a twig;
In the end, she preferred 'medium'.
--- Tony
It is Eric I'm envious of;
He was born with five pricks,
So he pulls in the chicks,
And his underpants fit like a glove.
--- Michael Horgan
Was renowned here and there as a genius.
Said his girlfriend, "Although
You're no fun to blow,
When you plug up both holes, you're the keenest."
--- Tarazed
Had not just one penis, but two.
He wailed, "Woe is me!
If I only had three,
I could masturbate, bugger, and screw."
--- G0819
Had pricks in a multiple cluster.
He could have an erection.
In any direction,
And afterwards serve as a duster.
--- G0277
Whose cock was bifurcated doubly.
Each quadruple shaft
Had two balls hanging aft,
And the general effect was quite lovely.
--- L0158
Has an extracurricular limb.
It only uncurls
When he's shagging those girls
With an extracurricular quim.
--- Anon
Were Nancy and Peter and Paul.
Nan amazed us one day
When she showed us a way
To play with FOUR Peters in all!
--- John Miller 0015
Who exalted in playing with genes.
From black, white, and yellow,
Two girls and a fellow,
He produced a chimaera, with penes.
--- Calico Kid
By nature endowed with two cunts,
At night dreams and drools
Of a man with two tools,
Who could fuck both vaginas at once!
--- G0274
Who grew a penis on his knee.
He never played sports,
'Cause he couldn't wear shorts.
He'd rolled up his pant-leg to pee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was blessed with twin sexual artillery.
When you get off one gun,
Your fun is all done,
But he drives home his pulsing auxiliary!
--- Grand Prix Lim 085 G0613
He was born with two peckers, you see.
The first one they say
Was christened "Jose"
The second he nicknamed "Hose B."
--- Derry Down Derry P8701a
Something I said could not be.
El Senor Beemissis
Was born with two penises.
He called them Jose and Hose-B.
--- Jim Jambor P9102a
"I've got something you might like to see.
Through Ma Natures tricks,
I was born with two pricks;
And I've named them Jose and Josb.
--- Practical Press
She just can't remember how many,
But of fellows like Jules,
Who was born with two tools,
I doubt that she's had hardly any.
--- Michael Horgan
Who possesses a double-tipped dork.
His carnal relations
Cause twins great elations,
For rather than spooning, he forks.
--- Anon
With magnificently youthful physique.
His pecker was double,
But it caused him no trouble;
Having one for each ball was unique.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
He sure was a generous feeder!
He fed me more meat
Than most girls ever eat,
And I am a big peter eater.
--- Loretta F TP9802
Disclosed that his organ was plural.
He requested two maids
Hold it up with their braids,
While an artist produced a large mural.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0593
On dates he engaged crosseyed chicks.
He said, "They're no trouble-
I'm glad they see double,
For they suck what they think is two pricks."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0826
While performing an autopsy chore,
Old Doctor Wecker
Found a dual pecker!
They don't make 'em that good no more!
--- Anon
Were accountants all, but I won't list 'em.
They'd suffer abuse,
But often amuse,
The gals with their double-entry system.
--- Anon
You just said they had found 4 score.
Two dicks would be great
To help copulate,
In both the front and the back door.
--- Anon
Because, it's the truth, I have three.
I walk well on two,
Each with its own shoe.
They're no good when I have to pee.
--- Anon
Except when I'm driving the truck.
If I spot some quiff,
My 'legs' go all stiff;
The accelerator gets stuck.
--- Anon
All the while I'm damning that tool.
Most the cops have scoffed
Until it gets soft,
But don't ticket me as a rule.
--- Anon
And take me to bars in the night
To bet with a few
That my six feet-two,
Though measured, is not really right.
--- Anon
Agreeing that 6-2's my size.
The girls come by later
To make my legs straighter,
Then measure my vertical rise.
--- Anon
That it's the wrong bet that they've backed.
But they pay to see
My leg number three;
They're wowed by my tripedal act.
--- Anon
Now you'll know the real reason why.
Those gals on the street
Are looking so sweet;
I can't stop as hard as I try.
--- Anon
Who planted an acre of cocks.
They grew up firm and strong,
Nearly twelve inches long,
And she stuffed them all into her box.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2127
One small, one long and quite thick.
The small, hard as wood...
The large tasted good --
So it sure wasn't easy to pick.
--- Teresa T9801
Had one small and one big as a boar's.
His dear wife he would stick
With his undersize prick,
But the big was for bitches and whores.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0387
Wish I had a pair for each hand.
A willie or three
Would occupy me,
For I hate to have stations unmanned.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Unique in the way he is hung?
One waves to and fro,
The others real low,
The third one, it bangs on his bung!
--- Armand E Singer 334