A horny young dude from New York, An unfortunate Chinese named Wong We feel sorry as hell for Joe Rooney. There was a young laddie called Evan There was a young woman of Sydney, A well-endowed fellow named Ortening, Oh, now we're to things electronic Three lads once met three maids from Dorton. To her husband, a lady named Blaining, There once was a lad named Kevin He offered her pleasure sublime, Now you can get your reward, Your ding's not a dong but a nub! His girlfriend told him in rhyme -- Amid pubic hairs that were permed, There was an old Bishop of Zippit The SPAM keeps on saying my dink Though John, I don't want to be petty, It may not be fat, but it's wide Poor Jim Smith had a minuscule prick; Said Jimbo: "Oh don't be so fickle, Then he added, "You know, for a nickel, On that one we cannot agree (And what's that degree all about? A rather peculiar dong Joe was on a vaction ride While sailing along the Euphrates Came the Question "Do I like small cunny?" Ladies, these words you must hear: A certain young wrestler named Rex A luscious young thing from LA Though the prick of a man from Salina In her lingerie silky an shiny,
This is file tvl
How about that loser Nate? CRYPTOGRAPHY, meant to thoughts hide, Instead of your bragging on size, Yours is the dong of my dreams, Peter, first Duke of Orange, My god! I look ancient today; There was a young man, quite astute, There once was a man from Salt Lake It is sad when two loved ones fall out, Two anglers were fishing off Wight, PENIS, male part anatomic, There once was an old man from Waller To get in her pants he was workin'; When Sally did happen to see I once had a lover named Vic; There once was a young man named Craig, Your penis, dear boy, may be small, Mohammed al Mustapha Saud, There was a young fellow from Mexico, A senile old geezer from Feedbartz Biologists in old Yale's halls, A young fellow, with rueful veracity, I infer that you're terribly short, Said his girlfriend, the passionate Bess, A freak by the name of Bill Finch, Said the girl who was dating a swami, I heartily laugh and spew spittle You don't think I can do a limerick, I'm quite well aware of your plight; Cried whorish young Mrs. McWhorter, So tell us, does size really matter? A fellow from Brighton named Stoker, Said a haughty old lecher named Stone, A lad that I once new named Billy
Had only two inches of dork.
So he sought the underaged
Which greatly enraged,
And most surely popped everyone's cork.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was endowed with the tiniest dong.
He said, "Girl in pinch
Will make do with one inch
And pretend she is screwing King Kong!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He's colorblind, bald, and half looney.
And it pains us to mention
That a four-inch extension
Brings his cock length to just short of puny.
--- Michael Weinstein P8303
Who fuckled his girlfriend to heaven.
(Well that's what he thought,
But his dong was too short;
She just moved up from Cornwall to Devon.)
--- Peter Wilkins
Who could take it clear up to the kidney.
But the thrust of Alphonse
Barely reached to her mons.
So he left her unsatisfied, didn't he?
--- Isaac Asimov
Prepared for an evening of sportening,
With a boy from a disco,
Till he greased up with Crisco.
And discovered, too late, it was shortening.
--- Anon
And not even staying platonic;
But really I think
Best not short my dink,
Or, my butt might go supersonic!
--- Anon
Each one did decide he should court one.
The first two were delighted
But the third one was slighted,
For she felt she was had by the short one.
--- Albin Chaplin
Of his shortness of prick was complaining.
But he said to her, "Dear,
It's your pussy, I fear,
For it looks like a ditch used for draining."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0405
Whose girlfriend was four foot eleven.
She looked at his cock
When 'twas hard as a rock;
It was ten inches long--minus seven.
--- Anon
With twelve inches of penis divine.
She lay back on the table,
Said, "Let's see if you're able."
So he gave her three inches, four times.
--- James M Menger P9310 a
If your toes make me stiff as a board.
But I fear that my dong
Now is three inches long,
After constant erosion abroad.
--- Peter Wilkins
But your wee thing most ladies won't snub.
So please don't abuse it,
Instead you could use it
To give their love buttons a rub.
--- Jeanie Taylor
"Nine inches would be so sublime!"
He said "If that's true,
Then here's what I'll do --
I'll give you three inches, three times!"
--- Anon
My moment in Bett was short-termed.
I started me wiggles
But she got the giggles,
And before she could blink, she was wormed.
--- SFA
Whose thing was a lean as a whippet.
Alas for the sport,
It was also too short
For nine-tenths of the parish to sip it.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Needs enlargement, but truly I think
It's already too long ...
Those guys have it wrong,
What I really do need is a shrink!
--- Tiddy Ogg
According to bar room Queen Betty,
The length doesn't matter,
But she likes them fatter
Than your silly string of spaghetti.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And it curls and it wriggles inside,
In a way so intense,
It's only pretense
For Betty to badmouth my pride.
--- John Miller
It was short and it sure wasn't thick.
Said the whore, Memphis Mabel,
"That's too small for my navel,
And I hear that you come much too quick!"
--- Ward Hardman
Let me hammer you with my pickle."
She laughed at the sight,
Of it limp to the right.
"Ha...Hammer? Looks more like a sickle."
--- Lightbulb
I guess I could do with a tickle."
He took her invite
And sexed her all night
With his larger than right left testicle.
--- Lightbulb
'Cause even a real Ph.D
Can't bugger his own
Asshole with a bone,
Which is only two inches, or three.
--- Anon
You seem like an ignorant lout,
Who got for a fee
That special degree:
"Piled higher and Deeper," no doubt!
--- Anon
Had young Joe; a mere thre inches long.
But its width was immense,
When excited and tense,
Ripping left-to-right holes in his thong.
--- Peter Wilkins
And met a girl at the sea-side.
"You mean that your schlong
Is just three inches long?"
"No," he said, "three inches wide!"
--- Tom Accousti
I learned I was smaller'n me mateys.
My inches won't thrill
But if they were mill-
Imeters, I'd be in the eighties.
--- Anon
I reply I like MORE for my money.
A note from a chick
Concerning my dick,
"All I'll say is they're ALL small for me, honey!"
--- Anon
I'm not as small as you fear.
On a mirror o'er my bed,
These words can be read:
"Things are larger than they appear."
--- Les Stewart
Had minimal organs of sex.
But I'm telling you, dude,
He excelled in the nude,
Because of the bulge in his pecs.
--- Armand E Singer P9812
Had the hots for a local DJ.
And although his pecker'd
Not set any record,
His frequency makes it OK!
--- Ken Elrod P8209
Was the size of a very small weiner;
He felt no perturbation
For on slight stimulation,
It would stretch like an old concertina.
--- Isaac Asimov
She answered in voice low and whiney,
She looked squarely at him
Said, "I call your dick Tim
Because it's so skinny and tiny."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409
Complaining about his sad fate.
He whines about lies
About his penis size,
And says he cannot get a date!
--- Anon
Was ploy of the newly wed bride,
Whose "oohs" and "wows" loud
On night she was plowed,
Meant only, "Such wee thing's inside."
--- Chris Papa
You may want to censor your lies.
You must be asheamed
That your weenie's not famed.
But it won't help to agrandize.
--- Dennis Galion
And though you use tissues in reams,
Your angle of view
May throw you askew --
For it's not quite as big as it seems.
--- Ericka
Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
But technique in a keyhole
Developed his pee-hole,
'Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
--- L1316
Overnight it would seem I've gone gray.
I've got aches, I've got pains,
I've got varicose veins
And my pecker has shriveled away.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who a girl found to be very cute.
But she dumped his ass quicker
When she had to snicker,
When she saw him in his birthday suit.
--- Anon
Exposing his small trouser snake
Downtown in the mall,
And he had the gall,
To try using one that was fake!
--- Anon
Over things they should not fight about.
They should stay sentimen-i-tal
About all that is gen-i-tal
And make inches no object of doubt.
--- Isaac Asimov
And his bobber was bobbing all night.
Murmured she, with a laugh,
"It is ready to gaff,
But don't break your rod, which is slight."
--- L0121
An organ behaving quite comic.
It answers sex's call,
But after it all,
It returns to a size economic.
--- Chris Papa
Who started to cry and to holler.
"My manhood's no good --
Never worked as it should,
But I swear that it's now getting smaller!"
--- Anon
He pleaded with evil thoughts lurkin'.
"My pickle will thrill you."
She replied, "I could kill you,
'Cause a pickle it's not. It's a gherkin!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
The nozzle from which he would pee,
Said. "Who do you think
Will get off with THAT dink?"
He replied, "Well, dear, I think ME."
--- Anon
I found out that he was a prick.
I signed a decree
Saying "I'm rid of thee."
Besides, he had a small dick.
--- Michelle
Who only got sex when he'd beg.
On the corner he stood,
Pleading "Try me! I'm Good!
Just don't laugh at my middle leg."
--- HotMail
'Tis no hinderence to having a ball.
And it's just your luck
That gravities suck,
So into black holes you will fall.
--- Anon
Exceedingly under-endowed,
Last year went to Mecca
And there met Rebecca,
Who made him stand out from the crowd.
--- Anon
Who spent weekends convincing his dick to grow.
But for all his cajoling,
His hopes of long-poling
Remain tenuous, feeble, and low.
--- Robert Elliot
Thought that all the ladies were sweethearts.
He'd grab them and squeeze them,
Try even to tease them.
They had him locked up for small parts.
--- Anon
Want only what's curled 'round your balls.
To put it on slow,
So all folks will know
Of a dick that's a record size, (small).
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said he hadn't much phallic capacity.
So he tried no one new,
Stayed with girls he could screw,
And that's what I call perspicacity.
--- Isaac Asimov
In the range of 4-9 to 5-ought,
So I guess that your dick is
Knee height for those chickies.
One glad eye too many, you've caught.
--- Anon
"I have thoughts that to you I'll express.
You've heard the old saw
That says less is more.
Well I tell you right now, less is less."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0204
Whose Guinness-book claim is a cinch,
Is called Wee Willie Winkee,
`Cause his prick is so dinky;
It's just a tad short of an inch.
--- Armand Singer
"There are times I suspect that I'm balmy.
There can be no dispute
That his prick is minute,
But it feels like a full-size salami."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0627
And think of the copy I'd whittle
Out of a toothpick,
Of your teeny dick,
Could I find it, but it is too little.
--- Anon
But all you spout is "teeny dick".
Again I must say,
You are welcome today
To come down and to have just a teeny lick.
--- Anon
A cock that is well out of sight.
Since you aren't pricky
And like to see 'licky,'
As long as it's your wife, I might!
--- Anon
"If that cock of yours was much shorter,
You could never fuck me!
Somewhere there must be
A man with a goddam ripsnorter."
--- G0396
Greater pleasure if longer or fatter?
At a crime scene they say
Rapists could get away,
For the small ones leave only a smatter.
--- Poet Lariat T9707
Was somewhat displeased with his poker;
Its shape was divine,
Its firmness, just fine,
But its measurements, just mediocre.
--- Cap'n Bean P0900
Who had but five inches of bone,
"I feel no deep urgin'
To consult a surgeon,
A mighty poor thing, but mine own!"
--- G0453
Wore underwear pretty and frilly.
For regular jocks
Were too big for his rocks
And his flacid and miniscule willy.
--- Peter Wilkins