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"Of course you'll be able to cope;
Come here and I'll give you a grope.
I'm sure that your thing,
Which you liken to string,
Will grow longer and thicker than rope.
--- Peter Wilkins

With embarrassment turning me red,
She pulled down my trousers and said,
"I see what you mean,
But at least it looks clean.
I'll use it for flossing instead."
--- Peter Wilkins

Damn you for revealing my size,
Which has caused my ego's demise.
But flossing? That's good!
I think that I should
Use that the next time she makes eyes.
--- S C Saint

Flossing is good for the gums;
The flossee feels good when she hums.
Be glad your not cursed
With my eight inch wurst --
She screams but it's not when she comes.
--- H Welchel

In Brazil all this stress about life
Is creating marital strife.
The size of their willy,
So small that it's silly,
Means they cannot pleasure their wife!
--- Anon

In that case I'll cash in my Keogh;
I'll fly with my willy to Rio
And hope it suffices.
But I've other devices
Which I'll bring as a back-up in Rio.
--- Tutta Gioia

He's after a Latinate trio,
(Caught the bug off of Karen and Me-o)
Those deprived senoritas
Will find him a treat as
He's hung and he'll fuck them con brio!
--- Lucy

Said the husband, with smiling urbanity,
"I possess penile superhumanity."
Said his wife, "But the score
Of his inches is four.
The rest of it's just his insanity."
--- Isaac Asimov

Hubby's fury then reached incandescence.
And he said, "My respect for you lessens,
Because four is the least."
"Not so, you vile beast;
That's its length in a state of tumescence."
--- Isaac Asimov

"Four inches where you are concerned,
You old bag," said her man really burned.
"All the girls," she said, "gave it
(In a signed affidavit)
As four! and the court stands adjourned.
--- Isaac Asimov

A pensive old chap was dear Bob;
A bit of a reclusive slob.
It all first began
When, as a young man,
His girlfriend laughed at his nob.
--- Anon

"It's crooked and wrinkled and small,
And hasn't any hair at all.
It looks embarassin'
That tiny hairless 'un --
You've prac'tly no wanker at all!"
--- Anon

I wish I could brag on my schlong;
To do so would just be all wrong.
The girls say my log
Is small like my dog --
A dachshund that's just a foot long.
--- Anon

But size is not key, it's the fun;
Like a trophy's admired, not the gun.
Though the length of the weenie
Should not be so teenie,
When it's hot, it should fit in the bun.
--- Anon

Now I am really impressed,
But it has caused me to be very stressed.
The size of my prick
(No bigger than a stick.)
Is not something I'm proud to possess.
--- Pepe

But no worry, my lady is here;
For tightness, I still use her ear.
Strange, you may say,
Such a style for a lay,
Yet it works, for complaints she can't hear.
--- Pepe

Just under the chestnut tree stands
A gorgeous man who has large hands.
He's got big huge, feet,
That I think's so neat --
I hear that the feet match the glands!
--- Marlene Lewis

Beneath that old chestnut she stands...
The smithy with feminine hands.
She's a big beefy lass
With one hell of an ass,
And magnificent mammary glands.
--- Peter Wilkins

Which reminds me of Anna the nymph,
Who oft squirmed at the thought of Joe's lymph
Nodes and totem-like pole,
While she fingered her hole
'Til she found that young Joe was a wymph.
--- Peter Wilkins

For Joseph was not very tall
And had hardly a lymph node at all
At the base of his thing,
Which was limp as old string,
And minutely, nay, vanishing small.
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a girl named Crystal,
Who dated a cowboy from Bristol --
One day, just for fun,
She reached for his gun,
And found he had only a pistol.
--- Kaylin

But then, as she felt it expand,
She thought it became really grand.
He started to smirk
Till she gave it a jerk,
And the damned thing went off in her hand!
--- Kaylin

Poor Crystal had only one goal --
In the hay she wanted to roll.
But she became surly,
'Cause he shot too early,
That's why she favors gun control.
--- Kaylin

There once was a guy named Bill,
Who took his girl out for a thrill.
For a midnight ride
On his dick, he called Clyde;
His pickle was not at all dill.
--- Enema Bandit

She liked to ride it all night,
And she never got in a fright.
He asked for some knob,
Sort of like a blow job;
She said "Spit or swallow, I might."
--- Enema Bandit

And then at the end of their show,
They'd clean up their organs, you know.
He said, "Let's try tomorrow night;
It will be out of sight."
She said "Not, if your penis don't grow."
--- Enema Bandit

To a girl who was laughing, "Ha Ha",
I'm sure she made people guffaw!
She said thimble's the size
Of the bump 'tween my thighs,
But that's the size cups in her bra.
--- John

Observing the bulge in his khakis,
I ran my hand over his fly--He's
Disadvantaged, you know.
Very little to show!
And that bulge was his spare set of car keys!
--- Linda Longprong

The other morning was really quite chilly;
Cold enough to shrivel my willy.
When I pee'd, had to sit,
As 'twas the size of a clit,
And it did look a little bit silly.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named French
Who was screwing his girl on a bench.
His prick was so small
It did no good at all;
His shortcomings disgusted the wench.
--- G0076

There was a young man from St Paul,
Whose cock was exceedingly small.
Now it might do for keyholes,
Or little girl's peeholes,
But for a big girl like me...Not at all!
--- Anon

There was an old curate of Hestion,
Who'd erect at the slightest suggestion.
But so small was his tool
He could scarce screw a spool,
And a cunt was quite out of the question.
--- L0173

There was a young fellow named Vic,
Who possessed a most miniscule prick;
Erected, his schlong
Was half an inch long;
And maybe an eighth of that, thick.
--- Simon Whitechapel

This is file tsl

A soldier whose name was Mort Court,
Had a dick the size of a wart.
He'd pull down his pants
And shout "Here's my lance!"
So his friends kept him locked in the fort.
--- Corkey Bailey

There was a young fellow named Kimball,
Whose prick was exceedingly nimble.
But so fragile, so slender,
So dainty and tender,
He kept it encased in a thimble.
--- L0182

A student of East Bainbridge Hall,
Had an organ exceedingly small.
He buggered a bug,
On the edge of a rug,
But the bug didn't feel it at all.
--- L0638

A newlywed fellow named Fong,
His pecker was half an inch long;
When they first went to bed
His wife laughed and she said
"I knickname you I. C. No Dong!"
--- Cap'n Bean P0110

In Washington, District of C.
Lived a man with the dick of a flea.
Yet he'd not lack a chance
To sniff female pants,
For his tongue was a foot long, you see.
--- Robert Elliot

I dreamed I was hit by a comet,
A nightmare that caused me to vomit;
So, what made me sick?
When I felt my dick,
It was shriveled as small as a grommet!
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Laurel
Who sinned with a man -- I've no quarrel.
But the man did the sin
With a cock like a pin;
A sin of this size I call moral.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0514

With cake and champagne and confetti,
Young Bobby was married to Betty.
Imagine her shock,
When she first saw his cock
Was as thin as a strand of spaghetti.
--- PeterW

Don't be sad for our Bett's wedding night;
Divine pleasure soon replaced fright.
Damn thin it might be,
But it's damn long, you see,
And it filled up her spaces all right.
--- PeterW

Bob said, "I'll come when I can.
Spag Bog, for I'm Italian.
There's Sauce Milanese,
But if you prefer cheese,
I can always come Veal Parmesan.
--- Don Paul

With exquisite balls made of gnocci,
Carved from choc-flavored Roman biscotti,
That's Bob Farinaceous,
With tackle salacious,
Pushing pasta up Big Betty's body.
--- Don Paul

"My willy," said Len's "allotropic,
Just look, it is quite telescopic."
Said Jill, unimpressed:
"Oh, is that the best
You can do? Len, it's real microscopic."
--- Anon

Some things that are written are true;
But sometimes we will question you.
If your tool's too small
To be felt at all,
What good is it going to do?
--- Chris Tustin

"Snyder's got a stiff ticket," said Kay.
"Come on, take it out, and let's play."
He pulled it on out,
But she started to pout,
His ticket was only a quarter-inch stout.
--- LOO55

A horny young man from Dalrymple
Was greatly distressed by the simple
But obvious fact,
That the sexual act,
Called for something he lacked, not a pimple.
--- Anon

There once was a Princess named Gwyn,
Who said, "Stick it in! Stick it in!"
To my delight,
This went on all night,
But the Princess could not feel my pin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a fellow named Bill,
His penis was shriveled and ill.
It was pale and green
As any you've seen,
And thimble it would not quite fill.
--- Jorge Rodriguez T9711

There was a young man from Berlin,
Whose tool was the size of a pin.
Said his girl with a laugh,
As she fondled his shaft,
"Well, this won't be much of a sin."
--- L0190

I'm often considered a joke,
'Cause I'm cursed with a very small spoke,
But I sit and I yearn
For a decent bed-worm,
And a willing young lady to poke.
--- Tim Fisher

Some say I'm as mad as a hatter,
To listen to girls as they flatter:
"Oh fiddle and fie,
It isn't a lie.
I promise that size doesn't matter."
--- Tim Fisher

But maybe I'm turning the tide,
As when girls come along for the ride.
I twist it, I bend it,
I even up-end it,
To make the damn thing touch the side.
--- Tim Fisher

Moaned a loser named Rasselas Sweeny,
"Preternaturally small is my weenie.
I know it's not nice
To screw my pet mice,
But what else can I hump that's so teeny?"
--- Armand E Singer 50

"I dare you to fondle my tits",
Said young Amy to innocent Fritz.
"But I'm shy", he replied
Feeling conscious inside
Of his miniscule genital bits.
--- Anon

Indeed they were tiny and small;
Though he says that he once had a ball,
And was caught on the job
With his miniature knob
Screwing hamsters and mice in the hall.
--- Anon

But never a girl out of fear
She would snort, giggle, snigger and sneer
And collapse to the floor.
Laughing madly for sure
At his barely discernable gear.
--- Anon

I once knew a fellow named Jerry
Who pecker was small as a berry.
When he went to pee
He let nobody see;
Though he thought it petite but not very.
--- Monique de Plume

His first day as a nudist, Joe Wimple
Said, "This life, I would say, isn't simple."
He could see the gal's eyes
Look him over for size,
Which had made it shrink down to a pimple.
--- Grand Prix Lim 163

Said a certain young man with a grin,
"I think it is time to begin."
Said the girl with a sneer,
"With what? Why your pee-er
Is scarcely as big as a pin."
--- Isaac Asimov

The ladies all had to agree,
That Mort's penis was too small to see.
A whore named Louise
Sniffed, "Who will that please?"
Mort proudly submitted, "Just me!"
--- Anon

There once was a boy named Ali;
The girls all looked on him with glee.
When they unzipped his fly,
He wanted to die,
For his dick was the size of a flea.
--- Richard Long

A wondrous chap, the Aleut --
All snug in his polar bear suit.
When he whips out his digit
The damn thing goes frigid
And shrinks to a size quite minute.
--- Arthur Deex P8303

Said the bawdyhouse madam to Lyle,
As she viewed his sad prong with a smile,
"That poor little pimple
Looks more like a dimple--
Are you trying to start a new style?"
--- G0385

With the thought that perhaps he'd evoke
Her desire to give it a stroke,
In the dark placed her hand
On his tool at proud stand,
But she said softly, "Thanks, I don't smoke."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003A

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