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A young curate, just new to the cloth, A celebate curate named Way Said the vererable Dean of St. Paul's, Have you heard of the Dean at St. Paul's Then our dean took a pious young spinster, There was a young girl of Kentucky A dean who was rather a prude, The Dean undressed, with heaving breast, A rural Dean, riding by Rake, There was a disgusting old Dean I once had the wife of a Dean, The unfortunate Dean of South Harts, A girl named Veronica Hubble, Since women are used to allay Man, From the back of a tent in a field Once, Billy Graham, sin attacker, As Graham for God madly dashes, For Graham the populace grieves, Now Billy Graham strikes a crass chord Evangalist Duffy McGuire Solicitous parent John Masters An evangelist called Carrie Nation, An evangelist nowadays thrives Dr Luke had a good deal to lose -- (This Luke was a buddy of Paul)
When I asked for a license to air The evangelist often behaved His dialogue's made me aware, Now what can a person expect Judge Hemp and Reverend Lockjaw An evangelist, Reverend Deex, The evangelist prays to the nation An evangelist went to the Congo The TV crusaders are men A TV evangelist named Blount There was a fat fraudulent Friar, There was a young friar name Borrow, (Christmas is coming, Tomorrow never comes)
In the village the maids did conspire A squalid old whore name of Funks There sat a disconsolate friar; The Friar, the man who does scoff Being celibate's caused Fr. Howe Cop O'Brian asked, "Where is the fire?" A contrite acolyte of Friar Ansel Are there vows such a whimsey might cancel?"
So large was the hole of Miss Willet, Rock hard and apparently on fire, There once was a sorry old friar Romeo needn't have died alone; There was a young friar named Hess There was an old duchess named Fitch Aimee McPherson preached in L.A. Reverend Aimee Semple MacPherson Aimee Mc, so the story that's told, From a tent Aimie Semple did preach, In a tent, the renowned Billy Sunday, A shill hired by faith healer Blight God, through his pastors, can "heal", A preacher on TV, Benny Hinn, "Send me ten," said evangelist Flynn "Send me cash to help cure mankind's tumor," The evangelist is the physician Jessie Jackson, described at the least, Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition Jesse said, "Here's a sermon for you- The Reverend's stock is way down; It seems from the National Enquirer, When TV evangelists pray,
At sex was surely no sloth.
He preached masturbation,
To his whole congregation,
And was washed down the aisle in the froth.
--- L0541
Fell from grace in the vestry one day.
It had come to this pass:
He'd a lack and a lass...
And Way-laid her and paid her, they say.
--- James Wade P8303a
"Concerning them cracks in the walls,
Do you think it would do,
If we filled them with glue?"
And the Bishop of Lincoln said, "Balls!"
--- Norman Douglas L1530
Who has no hair on his balls?
When asked why this is,
He whispers, in bliss:
"The rector, my God, how he mauls!"
--- G1157
On his cultural tour of York Minster.
What they did in the clerestory,
Is rather a queer story,
But none of us hold it against 'er.
--- Victor Gray
Who said to her man, "You are lucky;
I've been out on a binge
With the Dean of St. Inge,
And I'm still full of pep and feel fucky."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1047
Thus addressed a sunbather at Bude.
"Excuse me, but Miss,
So much epidermis
Makes me think that the cloth should intrude."
--- Anon
The bishop's wife to lie on.
He thought it lewd to do it nude,
So he kept his old school tie on.
--- Anon
Met a maid by the side of the lake;
He said, "Let us praise
The Lord and His ways--
And then of our pleasure partake."
--- Harold C Bibby
Who explored every crude magazine
From cover to cover--
Agog to discover
The mean or unclean or obscene.
--- Harold C Bibby
Seven times while the Dean was out skiin'.
She remarked with some gaiety,
"Not bad for the laity,
Though the Bishop once managed thirteen."
--- G0542A
Was caught importuning some tarts.
His good wife was shocked
When the Dean was unfrocked:
It's the first time she saw all his parts.
--- Anon
Who is socially nothing but rubble,
Has tickled the balls
Of the Dean of St. Paul's,
In civvies, and looking for trouble.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9606
To comfort but mostly to lay Man,
Evangelists must
Control overt lust
Or downgrade themselves to layman.
--- Irving Superior P8706
Where a cobbler evangelist peeled
At the soles of lost shoes,
You could hear the "good news" --
"In the name of sweet Jesus, be heeled!"
--- H Welchel
Was vilified by a detractor,
Who asked with horrid pun
(And Billy had not gun)
"Was Billy Graham born a Cracker?"
--- Irving Superior P8706
His mind is disturbed by strange flashes.
He believes, when he dies,
Like the Phoenix he'll rise,
But his asshole will rise from the ashes.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1000
And their bosom collectively heaves.
For the way people live --
It is blessed to give --
But poor Graham, he only receives.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1034
When speaking to Reagan and Ford.
He says, "Lookie here
What I earned last year,
By dropping the name of the Lord."
--- Mark Levy P9507
Preached Hell and Brimstone and Fire.
And when all the folks went
To the back of the tent,
He boffed all the girls in the choir.
--- Ogden Nield
Protects his kids from sex email blasters,
But bemoans the fact there
Is no good software
For TV's evangelical pastors.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0412
Chopped up bars all across our young nation.
When her axe made a pass,
Barkeeps fell on their ass!
In those days she was called a sensation!
--- Dom P8706
By living a couple of lives.
He plays now and then
The saint with the men,
And the devil sometimes with their wives.
--- A N Wilkins P8706
A large practice treating rich Hews.
Unlike your hysteric
Electronic cleric,
Gave up wealth to peddle good news.
--- A N Wilkins P8706
My electric church gospel, I swear
They said, "Sure, Pastor Willy,
Your speech is hillbilly,
And you have evangelical hair."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9406 a
With boys and girls as if depraved.
But sex anal and oral,
He claimed was quite moral,
Because he was already saved.
--- A N Wilkins P8706
Alfonzo is going nowhere.
He should sell the butt
Of his sister, the slut;
Might earn enough for their bus fare.
--- David Miller
From people who think they're select.
And who spend their time drumming
Jesus Christ's second coming,
When the first one, you'll find, is suspect.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1014
Put on a Revival in Omaha;
Peyote-sourced preaching
Got the crowd screeching;
Their pockets were picked by my grampa!
--- Anon
Preached hell-fire and damnation at Peaks.
He said, "This racket pays,
And a lot of good lays,
But each place is just good for two weeks."
--- Dom P8706
And the faithful send cash in elation.
Jesus enters their brains
And they get for their pains
Some cerebral orgasmic vibration.
--- Albin Chaplin P9009
To preach to the men of the Llongo,
Of virgin-born birth.
Contesting its worth,
They recycled his hide on a bongo.
--- David A Brooks
Who preach to us be born again.
But the secret of birth,
For whatever it's worth,
Is somewone get's fucked now and then.
--- Jay Marshall P8706
This is file tqm
Said, "My preaching is all paramount.
And my revelations
Are sexual relations,
So I write each sermon on the mount."
--- Tom Patton P9902a
Begged alms to rebuild a church spire;
But they found he had fled,
Having sold all the lead
To a shady itinerant buyer.
--- Harold C Bibby
Who eloped with two nuns to his sorrow.
They lived on an isthmus,
And one he called Christmas,
And the other he cristened Tomorrow.
--- G1092
With a monk who aroused their desire;
To send signals of smoke
When they needed a poke --
Now wherever there's smoke, there is friar.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2953
Would fuck only junkies and drunks.
Her daughter prodigious,
Profoundly religious,
Consorted with friars and monks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1520
His balls were inflamed with desire.
For his cock was his pride
And would not be denied,
So he brought up some lads from the choir.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1026
Is often a man of the cloth.
But this is so his toys
He can use on young boys;
With a woman he just can't get it off.
--- Anon
To thus reinterpret his vow.
In July he repects
All the rules about sex,
But the rest of the year--Holy Cow!
--- Lucas Hulp P9402
Of a priest in a Ford with crossed wire.
"This column of smoke
Sure isn't a joke,"
Said the friar who's now in a fryer.
--- Tom Patton P9607
Said, "Last night by mischance in the chancel,
Lured by carnal desires,
I had sex with Miss Myers.
These sins by confession I'll cancel."
--- G1085
There was no young man who could fill it.
She was fucked by a friar
With carnal desire,
But he first stuffed her cunt with a skillet.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1114
His dick he thrust that much higher.
He cried "I'm coming, I am",
And that poor little lamb
Just got blessed by the local town friar!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who burned off his balls in a fire,
When the flames got away
From his candles, one day;
Now he sings very high in the choir.
--- Cap'n Bean
Followed by Juliet with a moan.
If the good Friar had
With that brave star-crossed lad,
Stayed in closer touch via cell phone.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0103
Who said, "I must sadly confess
That my virtuous life
Without mistress or wife,
Occasions unending distress."
--- Isaac Asimov
Consumed by a most burning itch.
She was had by a friar
And he put out the fire.
She would much rather love him than switch.
--- Albin Chaplin
About all good things, so they say.
But her pussy, quite tan,
Burned and itched for a man.
So Ormiston provided a lay.
--- Dom P8706
(That female-evangelist person)
Found excuse for free sex
In her scriptual text,
Which she could quote chapter and verse on.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707
Had a great yen for Ormie -- 'twas bold.
She said, "People don't care
If I have an affair."
But followers put her love life on hold!
--- Dom P8706
And the souls of poor dupes she did reach.
But her tent caught on fire,
And it burned her entire
Holy Bible and heavenly speech.
--- Al Chaplin P0302
Preached evey day except Monday.
He said with a grin
"That's the day that I sin
With the chicks that I meet - it is fun day."
--- Dom P8706
To attend the revival each night,
Didn't last very long
For his limp was all wrong.
He'd confuse his left leg with his right.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9408
The better the money to steal.
The victims are lured,
Then told they've been cured,
So rejoice and buy into the spiel.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Healing trailer trash, takes money in.
He's had many a plaudit
But never an audit.
When I see him I shout "Oh, Huck Finn."
--- Arthur Deex P0202
"And I'll gladly absolve you of sin."
Then he added, "And for
Fifty dollars or more,
You get blown by my lovely wife, Lynn."
--- Michael Weinstein P8706
Screamed evangelist Jeremy Boomer.
Whereupon the poor bloke
Dropped dead of a stroke.
Who said God has no sense of humor?
--- Michael Weinstein P8706
Who ministers to your contrition,
And though saving your soul
Is his ultimate goal,
It improves his financial position.
--- A N Wilkins P8706
Either saint or lascivious beast,
Gets into a pother (noisy disturbance)
When he is called Father --
Can it be that he's become a priest?
--- Arthur Deex P0103
Now follows an ancient tradition.
When Karin came to PUSH
It was up her sweet tush,
And she's left in a pregnant condition.
--- Tom Patton P0105
Choose with caution the person you screw.
And when push comes to shove
Wear a good latex glove.
And, do as I say, not as I do."
--- William N Nesbit P0103
His mistress the talk of the town;
Her inept parturition
Wrecked the Rainbow Coalition --
Jess should have stayed home with wife Brown.
--- Armand Singer P0104
What helped Bill, Lewinsky's admirer,
Repent so much faster,
Was Jackson as pastor...
A seasoned unconjugal sirer!
--- Anon
As they do several times every day,
The words of their prayer
As it thrills through the air
Sound suspiciously like "Let us prey!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8706
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