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A footloose young fellow named Humburd
With wife and a child was encumbered.
Though he strove and perspired,
He soon found he was mired,
And discovered his days were all numbered.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2625

In the daylight, it's easy to see
The destiny that lies before me.
But sometimes at night,
My thoughts just take flight,
And I dream things that never can be.
--- Ericka

She kept all her dreams locked inside
As she rode upon destiny's tide;
Then when she was older,
She wished she'd been bolder
And taken more chances, she sighed.
--- PeterW

Our dreams are such precious things,
Like wishes that soar out on wings.
But like Sigmund Freud
I just get annoyed
At the pain that fantasy brings.
--- Bob Mornington

These thoughts in my brain are congealing,
As they rise up toward the ceiling
Of my consciousness,
But I now digress
As my 'sub' suppresses this feeling.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

While choosing a girl, young McNair,
Did check and select with great care,
A most fitting companion,
But got lost in the canyon,
And fell in the Abyss of Despair.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0541

Deep emotions evoked by a fire,
Fascination the flames can inspire;
Flicker and dance,
You stare in a trance,
All that beauty within to admire.
--- Joel D Ash P9806

Lucy once said she like flowers,
And would smell them for hours and hours.
She climbed up a tree,
Some blossoms to see,
And was readily caught in its bowers.
--- Penny Kjelgaard

Some days I feel all out of place;
Was I born in the right time and space.
In my mind's eye I see
Lots of things yet to be,
Or am I just out of my face.
--- Jack

These visions can leave me in tears;
More so after five or six beers.
So I think I'll go squeeze
Into my deep freeze;
Don't defrost me for twenty-five years.
--- Jack

Man cannot soothsay from whence
Pain, sorrow, and the pathos come, hence
We bid everyone
To join in our fun
And frolic in foolish nonsense
--- Derry Down Derry P8903

When days seem long and weary,
And nights seem dark and dreary,
Hold this leaf and smile,
'Cause in a short while,
Things will again be all cheery!
--- Sagedlc

Look, I'm sorry, I think I will go
To my garden; it's pretty you know;
It has wonderful flowers;
Secret places and bowers,
Where Petunias and Marigolds grow.
--- Anon

In a garden surrounded by pine,
Nature thriving in mottled sunshine;
Up the lattice of wire,
Vines grow ever higher,
The tendrils and flowers entwine.
--- Joel D Ash P9806

In front, black eyed susans are found,
New guinea impatients abound;
Wax begonias deep red,
A day lily bed,
The colors explode without sound...
--- Joel D Ash P9806

Lad, please arise, it is dawn,
Pour ruby wine as you yawn.
The moment is fleeting,
Time's again cheating,
And this instant will vanish anon.
--- Anon

"I am now at the end of my rope.
And with problems I can't seem to cope."
"Well, just see your shrink,
And have a stiff drink.
All that you need is some hope."
--- Al Willis

As you read through these ramblings to seek
Some humor not sounding like greek,
May your laughs be hilarious
From these jibes -- some nefarious! --
And may all of you have a great week!!
--- Anon

The beauty of moonlight on snow,
Soft glow winter nights doth bestow;
We sit by the fire,
Low flames dancing higher,
Our feelings and hearts overflow.
--- Joel D Ash P0203

My loved one and I sipping wine,
Fond glance of one's true valentine;
Old music plays gentle,
Two muse sentimental,
Towards tender romance we incline.
--- Joel D Ash P0203

Dear memories of joint recollection,
Sweet confection of loving perfection;
Cherished moments that last,
From the present and past,
Shared collection of love and affection.
--- Joel D Ash P0203

Variations of treasured refrain,
Love in winter replayed once again;
Ardent whispers entreating,
Low murmurs repeating,
Warm words that delight and sustain.
--- Joel D Ash P0203

The reams of my youth are all etched.
Or are they just far-offly sketched?
Are they notions, or lotions,
Frustrating emotions,
Fetched from far, or far fetched.
--- Stu Lucas P9608

Friday night. It couldn't be plainer.
What one needs is a good no-brainer!
A glass of Merlot,
A mood indigo,
I can't think of anything saner!
--- Annie Jay

When the rain falls and storms thunderboom,
And the sky gets all dark, filled with doom,
I want someone here
With mirth, fun, and cheer,
To raise me up out of my gloom
--- Anon

If you leave your troubles at the door,
You'll be happy like never before.
But just one little catch,
There's no escape hatch,
So you'll never go out any more.
--- Tom Patton P9711

"The die has been cast," shouted Fry,
Then fell on his knees and did cry.
"Now I'll die in great shame,
As I've sullied my name,
For I know I must never say die."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2585

The crocuses happily blooming
Means it's Spring, or so I'm assuming.
With the sun coming out,
We can all give a shout,
And then stop all this glooming and dooming.
--- Anon

Remember when football had dropkicks?
When army first sergeants were topkicks?
How a golden phrase
Brings back the old days--
And that noisy piano piece "Chopsticks!"
--- Laurence Perrine P9207

I fear I am accident-prone,
Though not by the breakage of bone:
I fall for a face--
I've fallen from grace--
Heart-broken, I do nothing but moan.
--- Laurence Perrine P9405

On a very unnoteworthy day,
Things all happened their usual way.
Everything went along,
As it had for so long,
That there really was nothing to say.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Appreciation & Enthusiasm work as a charm;
Together they do wonders with l'il or no harm.
They come in a twin pack
Like the pat on the back,
Which gets translated to that shot in the arm.
--- K Sivaramakrishnan

The morning sure comes so fast.
The night never seems to last.
I want to sleep more!
To cozy and snore.
Alarm is so loud, a blast!
--- Charlotte

This is file tim

The crocuses happily blooming
Have put on a face unassuming.
But though humble they be,
They're a sure sign to me
That the Earth has begun her spring grooming.
--- Squeaky

I've a thing about day 24;
Superstitution, I guess, nothing more.
But I face it with dread,
Want to stay right in bed,
And avoid what the fates have in store.
--- John Miller 0037

Lately I've lost all my mirth;
Of exercise there's been a dearth.
Man in his essence is
Just dusty quintessences,
And sterile this pestilent earth.
--- Tutta Gioia

One miserable morn I awoke,
Crying, "Someone come tell me a joke,
Or I'll wake up all gloomy,
And torment my roomie,
And give my poor momma a poke."
--- Vertech Limerick Contest

Talk of stars and fate is what will
Reduce me to tears, and sure kill
My stance and my thought
Of things that were bought,
And make me think of things gone ill.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

April's gone, I've to say in dismay,
A new beauty's arriving today.
'Though my pecker feels sore,
I'm craving for more;
There she is, my voluptuous Miss May!
--- Anon

I'm tired of these rainy days;
I wish all the storms went away.
It's hard for me
To look out and see;
My wheelchair can't venture today
--- Anon

It's late and I should be asleep.
I really don't know why I keep
Not going to bed --
It's all in my head;
This fear about thinking too deep.
--- Anon

Ah don't get upset: what's the use?
Ah don't like to stew in mah juice.
Ah pays all mah tax,
And then Ah relax.
And when Ah sits, Ah sits real loose.
--- Al Willis

There once was a man named Albritton,
Whose theories, no one was hittin'.
The e-mails he sent
Were totally bent.
Nobody but loonies were smitten.
--- Richard Long

My time watching TV is vital;
It keeps me from thoughts suicidal.
I'm a lazy-ass slough
Who just can't get enough;
I'm the true-blue American Idle.
--- Anon

B is for Bilgers, they say;
They weren't treated fair, anyway;
They only went in
Just to say they had been,
They never intended to stay!
--- William O Stevens 1906

When people anthropomorphize,
The see things through too-human eyes;
They say a car smiled,
Treat a dog as a child,
And think of them being our size.
--- David Morin

Our developers, most of them Babbits,
Exhibit acquisitive habits.
Architectural blight
They erect overnight,
And they procreate condos like rabbits.
--- Phyllis Hughes P9802

Would we could view ourselves from afar,
Though we think we rise far above par;
Since no riches have we,
Then eccentricity
Won't apply to us. We're just bizarre.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0108

Were I a black-Irish, la-la,
My beauty'd be increased by far.
But even if black,
I'd still have the lack
Of youth, which is sine non qua.
--- Jorna

It's important to paint with broad strokes
And to imply "all' when speaking of blokes.
Thinking of persons
As individuals worsens
Ones ability to get to the jokes.
--- Res Ipsa

There lived on the banks of the Lune
A somewhat eccentric buffoon,
For he asked De Vere Stacpoole
To come down to Blackpool
And open a new brown lagoon.
--- Anon Punch 1921 (Bibby)

So many people are on the Dole;
In our economy they play a big role.
If the Dole were abolished,
Many businessmen, quite polished,
Would go broke and their businesses fol'.
--- Samuel A Shaffe P8609

The clear-thinking man is a rarity,
For man has such mental disparity,
That illusions appear
And confusion looks clear,
While he's confounded by clarity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2762

A tragedy occurred in the circus;
The new clown went all berserkus.
We found out on the train
He can't stand meringue,
And without the pie-fight, they won't work us.
--- Anon

There once was this cocky Eurasian,
Who kept rising to every occasion.
From what I have heard,
When nothing occurred,
He still rose, by sheer self-persuasion.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

They say that I was in my youth,
Uncouth and ungainly, forsooth.
I can only reply,
"'Tis a lie! 'Tis a lie!
I was couth, I was perfectly couth."
--- Anon

Cried the crest of a wave coming in,
"I'm the greatest that ever has been!"
Till, dumped on the sand,
It disappeared and
Was never once heard of again.
--- Laurence Perrine P8807

She sat on a mighty fine chair,
Sparks flew as she tidied her hair;
She asks many questions,
I make few suggestions;
Bad as Albert and Li, what a pair!
--- Wendy Cope P0303

There once was a time when I could
Wake up each morning and would
Feel as good as the last
Morning, that which was past.
Well, today I don't feel so damned good!
--- Jorna

If there is one thing that I have well learnt,
It's that people detest being burnt.
They don't want to roast,
Or wind up as toast,
And I trust I have made a good pernt.
--- Al Willis

A land of blue skies and sunlight,
Each day endlessly clear and bright.
Without rain, the dams dry,
Crops fail, cattle die,
Farmers waste, walk away, quit the fight.
--- Ruth Silcock

There's a nip in the air, Love, tonight,
And I hope it won't snow, but it might.
If it isn't so bitter,
We'll call up a sitter,
And we can go out for a bite.

(the original was hiding the names of the elements)
--- Al Willis T9710

Why is it that when you're grief stricken,
And in your throat you feel a prickin',
Finding a friend
With a shoulder to lend
Is scarce as the teeth of a chicken.
--- Nawahl

There once was a fine boy named Michael,
Whose girlfriend, being very insightful,
Thought he was the funnest,
Supreme number one-est,
The cream of the crop and delightful.
--- Gibson

There was an old man who said, "Ho!
I have nowhere whatever to go!
But I notice that God
Is decidedly odd,
So I think I shall go for a row."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A sweet leap-year babe is my Claire;
Born 29 Feb in Belair.
Born in '84,
Six birthdays, no more;
But on trains, I can take her half fare.
--- Tiddy Ogg


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