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She thought for a minute; said "Bless A geezer rushes off to pee, The tool doesn't have to be big, So when you put size to the test, A particular lulu named Lawler Quoth the man with a miniscule dong, Mrs Whitehouse, mixed bathing at Deal, (Mrs. Whitehouse - noted champion against sex and violence)
Just out of her wedding day white, "Dear, we're married and now we should say I've done some things when I was poor, An erudite spinster named Frances, Shan't brag 'bout the size of my rod, Browsing near Papua, New Guinea, In Africa a young man, Abdul There was a young man from Rangoon There once was this fellow MacAgis "Would I like some nookie? Well, ra-ther! Jill spoke of her French lover Jaques; Whoever said size doesn't matter In a whorehouse in Cunt Lane, Devizes, There was a young man named MacDougal But so far I've had no complaint, I hear that your thing is tremendous; An Indian maid was elated Herr General von und zum Hallus. Said consumate cockster, Bill Graff, There once was a woman named Becker, A busy young fellow named Jasper, My beau is so kind and so strong, With a single quick pull on his wick, As she squatted to ride on Dick's pecker, There was a Greek sailor from Thalia A husky young fellow named strong So tell us, does size really matter? Yes, my name is the Artful Dodger, It's too dull to watch TV at night There's the very sad story of Klute, This 'shamus' was good at detection, "How big's your dick?", she said. There was a young chap from Australia On the subject of size, don't confuse it; The pendulous pecker on Pete It's well known that the men of Westphalia There's a mixed up young fellow named Gray "So tell us, does size really matter?" (I don't think I could take one that's fatter)
When a girl asked the size of his dick, Fred Frilla, out flashin' his flasher, So you carry an eight-incher tool? I heard of a man with a huge dick, The life of a clerk of the session An ex-submariner named Guido, I don't blame you if you want to shout An old sailor once loved dear Matilda; As the midget arose in erection, A muscular fellow named Mize, A cautious young fellow named Tunney, That guy with three balls was my twin, An Adventure Bay man, big down under, A negro possessed of a whopper "I hear that your thing is tremendous; An extravagant fellow is Pender, An oversized man who was nasty, The video "Horse Hung Hispanics", Emily my dearest, you're short, A well endowed fellow named Hopper According to a female copper, Lover, it's such a big cob!
My soul, dear, I'd say at a guess,
I reckon there be
About two or three
Odd inches, thereabouts, more or less."
--- Q
Then unzips his fly just to see
A wrinkled old prune,
That makes him near swoon...
"There's no way that belongs to me."
--- Anon
But it can't be as small as a twig.
But if it's a small one,
Use fingers and tongue,
And soon you'll be ready to frig.
--- Arden
Though testing is truely a fest,
Size isn't all
You need for your moll;
It's all in who uses it best!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Cried, "I like guys whose tassels are taller!"
And so they won't fool her,
She whips out her ruler
To measure the rule of each caller.
--- Grand Prix Lim 322
"I never did anything wrong
To deserve such a fate,
Yet I know it's too late.
Why can't we all just get a long?"
--- Stiffy Joe T9707
Emitted a loud piercing squeal.
It seems she had fingered
A something that lingered,
And certainly wasn't an eel.
--- T L McCarthy
She peered at his inner thigh site.
She giggled, the meanie,
Said, "Look at your weenie!"
And he didn't think that was right.
--- Chris Bolivar
Things in a more mature way.
It's better to pick
A name such as "dick"
When naming the thing you survey.
--- Chris Bolivar
And I have seen dicks by the score.
When out of their clothes,
I've seen lots of those,
But that is a weenie for sure.
--- Chris Bolivar
Who delighted in ribald romances,
Resolved to find out
Beyong physical doubt,
What the point of the joke in men's pants is.
--- G1554
Nor being a well endowed sod.
Suffice it to say
When the gals come my way,
They are saying "Amen" and "Oh God!"
--- Anon
I searched for one dick-tube from many.
The chief's bulging eyes
Divulged his surprise --
"Your club makes ours look like antennae!"
--- Anon
Proved that he was nobody's fool.
Without diamonds or pearls,
He'd attract all the girls;
Just imagine the size of his tool!
--- Tom Patton
Whose prick was much like a balloon.
He tried hard to ride her
And when finally inside her,
She thought she was pregnant too soon.
--- L0221
Whose phallus resembled a haggis.
It was long, it was wide,
So the lassies all hide;
"We hope that he never will bag-us."
--- Little Potts P8604
Are you the Smith son or his father?
Any small whippersnapper
I drop in the crapper,
So unless you've nine inches, don't bother."
--- G0430
Decried his anatomical lack.
Said her girl friend, "I hear ya;
Find a guy from Nigeria.
They make them much bigger in black."
--- Parker Waterman P0206
Must be mad as the wonderous Mad Hatter.
There's no worse surprise
Than a dick of no size;
And leaner is not better than fatter.
--- Anon
They take on men's cocks of all sizes.
From one inch up to ten,
It depends on your yen;
For still bigger knobs, there's free prizes.
--- G1772
Whose cock was bell-shaped like a bugle.
Well adapted for pissing,
'Twas delightful for kissing,
And for blissing that's known as conjugal.
--- G0390
Nor suffered from undue constraint,
Although truth be known,
At times I am prone,
To feel just a little bit faint!
--- Anon
The very thought of it does over bend us
Right over a chair,
With our ass in the air,
To receive the Bolognus stupendous.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To think that she soon would be mated!
She was asked how she knew
That her brave's love was true.
Cried the maiden, "The buck is inflated!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Had a caisson attached to his phallus,
And would ride into battle,
With his brass balls a-rattle,
While singing "Deutschland Uber Alles!"
--- John Ciardi
Indulging his huge bulging staff,
"I've no special quarrel
With early withdrawal,
But chastity, hell, that's a laugh!"
--- Armand E Singer 548
Whose boyfriend propositioned to deck her!
Upon seeing his pole,
She immediately extolled
"Would you settle for a fast game of checkers?"
--- Laurence Craft
The size of whose cock was a gasper,
Met hardly a maid
He hadn't waylaid;
He'd exhibit his tool, and enclasp 'er.
--- G0368
But he thinks of some things that are wrong.
He just thinks that he's
The very bee's knees,
Because of the size of his dong.
--- Anon
Young Fred could make all the boys sick.
His magnificent size
Made wide all their eyes;
Of the girls, he could just take his pick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A luscious blonde nympho named Decker
Said, "I seldom meet guys
With kidneycrackers this size,
So I hope yours won't prove a cuntwrecker!"
--- G2044
Who knew several ways to regale ya.
He principal trump
Was his cute little rump,
Just behind his huge male genitalia.
--- G1068
Was hung with a mighty big prong.
Said he with a grin,
"It's a strain getting in,
But once in, it sure rings the gong!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 101
This is file thl
Is it better when thinner or fatter?
I think it depends whether
You are using a feather
Or if you like yours on a platter.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With an incredibly large sized Todger.
It hangs down to my knee
And will give you some glee,
As you open your legs for a rodger!
--- Anon
When the neighbors don't turn out the light.
There they are, laying 'round
With it DRAGGING THE GROUND!
And the sight every night's a delight.
--- Grand Prix Lim 789
Being hung as big as a brute.
He went out of his mind
'Cause he never could find
A cunt that would take his giant root!
--- Laurence Craft
And his female client was perfection.
"I don't care what you charge,
You can make it quite large."
Which he did with an eight-inch erection!
--- Laurence Craft
"Two inches," answered Fred.
"A tiny schlong!"
"Oh no! You're wrong;
It has an eight inch head!"
--- Wildman TP9802
Who bragged on his huge genitalia;
"Top rated," he claimed,
"No matter where aimed,
But super at black bacchanalia."
--- Armand E Singer 743
No woman would ever refuse it.
But what makes us drool,
Ain't the size of his tool,
But whether he knows how to use it!
--- Kaylin
Protrudes to great length when in heat.
This protuberant treasure
Gives pussies great pleasure.
It's a fabulous pantsload of meat!
--- G0420
Have unusually large genitalia,
And spend much of their lives
Hunting wives the right size--
A search often ending in failure.
--- G0487
Whose prowess is hard to relay.
He feeds intravenous
His oversize penis,
But washes with Cashmere Bouquet.
--- G2357
Asked the boys during playful chit-chatter.
"Any size, five to nine,"
She answered, "is fine.
Though my preferences lean toward the latter."
--- Crazy Legs a
The Texan responded, right quick,
"Three inches or four."
"But my boyfriend has more!"
"Yes, ma'am. But lengthwise or thick?"
--- John Miller 0066
Was called by Phil Fletcher, a masher.
But Phil's nymph wife Phyllis
Asked Fred to just peel his
Fourteen-inch flesh flasher to bash her.
--- Jon Gearhart
Two-thirds of a standard foot rule.
Fully extended
Or resting upended?
Sounds good to me! I'm no fool.
--- Arden
With big red knob gals liked to lick,
He often was showing,
So gals kept on blowing,
'Cause they thought: "Now this is a prick!"
--- Anon
Was strangled in psychic repression,
But his maladies ceased,
When his penis increased,
In straight geometric progression.
--- L1687
Had a tremendous libido.
When he got around women,
He couldn't go swimmin',
Because of his giant torpedo.
--- Popsicle TP9806
That you have a great big waterspout.
But keep it indoors
Or in sophomores;
In public, don't let it hang out!
--- Al Willis T9707
His anchor was something that thrilled her.
Deep she sank it one night,
It went straight out of sight,
But his anchor's great size nearly killed her!
--- Anon
Vi cried with delight and affection,
"For a wee guy, Pete Long,
You're immense in the dong...
Nearly half of you lives in that section!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 546
Had a phallus of fabulous size.
Once, just for a laugh,
He cut it in half,
But still had enough for first prize.
--- Pierce Evans
Had a whang that was worth lots of money.
When eased in half-way,
The girl's sigh made him say,
"Why the sigh?", "For the rest of it, honey."
--- L0253
And my god could he juggle and spin.
He played pocket pool
With his fourteen inch tool,
And went 'round with a permanent grin.
--- Peter Wilkins
Is known by the women as 'Thunder'.
One girl that he stuck
Passed out in the fuck.
The reason: I guess that he stunned her.
--- Craig Whitchurch
Was disturbed on the job by a copper.
When caught in the light,
He withdrew in a fright
With an audible 'plonk', like a stopper.
--- G0489
So show us if it's so stupendous."
But when he complied,
She looked like she'd died,
Gulped three times, said, "Heaven defend us!"
--- Mido T9711
And his wang is superb in its splender.
It rises up huge
And shoots a deluge.
In his way, he's a damned heavy spender.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Was the origin of the, well, Hung Dynasty.
It did never grow big
But his personal rig
Was referred to as "His Swinging Majesty".
--- Snaggletooth
Caused me and my lover to panic.
We've both taken dillies
Of overstuffed willies,
But those dongs could sink the Titanic.
--- Stuart Marzipan
But still I'm glad to report
Because you are blond,
I'll show you my wand.
It's huge and it holds a full quart!
--- Kathi Webster
Would always do something improper.
Every night at the dance
He would unzip his pants,
And point out the home of the whopper.
--- Tom Patton P0208
My pants are a huge traffic stopper;
When I asked her why,
She said, "Well, big guy,
Girls know it's the home of the whopper!"
--- Travis
And it's not a gelding? Good job!
I'm already hotter
Riding your trotter,
And my filly's beginning to throb.
--- Ericka
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