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There once was a young man named Bob, There once was a man from Nantucket Another young lady from Ayr A farmer from Lake Okanagan In the land of Dingle Down Dilly "A very large phallus, my preference", One day while out for a walk, There was a young lady from Durber A worry, dragging there on the ground; If you think that our boy's now a stud, There once was a man from Landrucket There may be some truth in this lore A fellow from Stockton-on-Tees There once was a foreman named George, There was a young fellow named Cripps, I once wondered what it was worth There was a young fellow from Harrow There was a young lady named Caro There was an old man of Tagore, Consider the plight of Neal Darrow, There was an old scholar named Nick, (see Pissing In The Snow by Randolf)
There was a young man from Darjeeling, There once was a young man named Gibbs, There once was a man from Van Nuys A man from old Arizona There was an old man of Brienz, There once was a man from Belfast, If you ever run into Joe Hake, Ted had a prick that erected, he There was a young man named Cribbs A well endowed fellow named Miller A newlywed bride, Mrs. Young, I'm afraid it's too big, you see. A young man maintained that his trigger, There was a young man of Glengarry, There was a young fellow named Bowen Since Kristen, for truth, you've a yen, As a boast I think that's pretty poor; A sailor named George was in charge There was a young man named Hank There once was a man with a wick, There was a young athlete named Grimmon "Oh seventeen inches," she sighed. There once was a man from Belle Isle There was a young man from Sioux Falls, A strapping young lad (name of Pete) There once was a young Texas wrangler, "That thing's far too big," cried Kate, A mad scientist by the name of Miss Larrow There once was a man from Iraq A horny young man, so callow, A half-Spanish Moor named Arribia A perverted young fellow named Decker One unlucky gentleman Rick A young Irish fellow named Mick, A very sad man named McMeanus, From those spooks you can have my protection, There once was a guy d'Amarillo An old Ozark farmer with bunions A lady while dining at Crewe, The size of your cock has renown; The giant dropped his shorts with abandon; I hear that your cock is tremendous; When he tried to inject his huge whanger, To add six inches of dick, Addition? Hell no! I need action
Who bragged of the world's biggest knob.
His little wife, bored,
Wanted a bit of the gourd,
But instead gave him a blowjob.
--- Hubert
With a knob the size of a bucket.
The shielas would say,
"He'll make my day!"
But no cunt was able to fuck it.
--- Anon
Disagreed and said, "Are you aware
Of the infinite bliss
Of a caber like this?"
As she tossed herself up in the air.
--- Peter Wilkins
Had to carry his cock in a wagon,
'Cause the fruits of his trade
Weren't the sort to be laid,
Yet they left a perpetual jagon.
--- Hugh Oliver 102c
Lived a man with an ENORMOUS willy.
He carted this marrow
Upon a wheelbarrow,
Which made him look rather silly.
--- Anon
She said this with very much reverence.
"Eight inches is fine,
And ten is divine,
And that measures just the circumference."
--- Al Willis
I came across a human outline in chalk.
It seems he was nude,
For his dick did protrude,
And extended an entire city block!
--- Anon
Who swore that no cock could perturb her,
Till a Turk from Khartoum
Knocked the shit from her womb
With his fifteen-inch cunny-disturber.
--- G0317
I keep fit carrying it all around.
But I do complain,
And find a plain Jane,
When it shrinks to just a small mound.
--- Archie
You've been fooled by the size of his pud.
Twelve inches when soft,
When it rises aloft,
He faints from the sheer lack of blood.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who wanted to fuck it and fuck it.
But he was real stuck
And just couldn't fuck,
'Cause his penis could fill a large bucket.
--- Kitten
You've spun since dear Ermintrude swore:
"The cock of a bull
Once made my hands full,
But Trav's needs more hands -- at least four!
--- Anon
Had to put his new girlfriend at ease,
When she saw that his dick
Was some four inches thick,
And when limp it hung well past his knees.
--- Cap'n Bean P0506
Who beat out his prick on a forge.
He made it too big
And had nothing to frig,
So he fucked the Grand Canyon gorge.
--- G2135
Whose cock was so large it had ribs.
They were inches apart,
And to suck it took art,
While to fuck it took forty-two trips.
--- L0147
To service my humongous girth.
One hooker quoth "Zounds!
That's three hundred pounds --
The same as the price for a birth!"
--- H Welchel
Whose prick was as big as a marrow.
And needless to say,
It got in his way,
So he carted it 'round in a barrow.
--- Michael Horgan
Whose man had a tool like a marrow.
Although great in bed,
It has to be said,
He carried it 'round in a barrow.
--- Anon
Whose tool was a yard long or more.
So he wore the damn thing
In a surgical sling
To keep it from wiping the floor.
--- L0245
And his girl who is slight and quite narrow.
It is said that his tool's
Thrice the size of a mules,
And he carries it in a wheelbarrow.
--- Pierce Evans
Who wrote Latin and Greek with his prick.
He peed a paean
In the snow by the john,
In script more than three inches thick.
--- L0726
Whose dong reached up to the ceiling.
In the electric light socket,
He'd put it and rock it.
Oh God! What a wonderful feeling!
--- L1261
Whose cock was so large, it had ribs.
He was truly a sport
Who could come by the quart,
So his girlfriends always wore bibs.
--- Walter W Sloan
With a prick of incredible size.
This wasn't so great
For, because of its weight,
He never could get it to rise.
--- Anon
Had an incredible bona.
So great was its size,
That touching the skies,
'Twas awarded it's own time zona.
--- BK
The length of whose cock was immense.
With one swerve he could plug,
A boy's bottom in Zug,
And a kitchen-maid's cunt in Coblenz.
--- Norman Douglas L0275
Whose tool was as big as a mast.
But what was so frightening,
It was struck by lightening,
And transformed him into a young lass!
--- Laurence Craft
You'll find that his prize takes the cake!
Somehow in it shipment
They mixed up equipment,
And an elephant's came by mistake
--- Grand Prix Lim 807 A
Could reach from New York to Schenectady.
This tube in the air,
Made everyone stare,
And the women all wished they could neck Teddy.
--- Anon
Whose cock was so big it had ribs
But the erectile plasma
Causes momentary miasma
If he says he's had you, he fibs!
--- Anon
Who, while fucking his wife, might just kill her.
She'd make him hold back
From a full dick attack,
But from three feet away, he'd still fill her.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Asked the doctor to fix her torn lung.
When asked how it ripped,
She replied as she stripped,
"That man that I married is HUNG!
--- G0821
Don't need a hysterectomy.
What can I say,
To make him stay,
Without coming inside of me.
--- Anon
This is file tel
Was so big that there wern't any bigger.
But his long and thick pud
Was so heavy it could
Scarcely lift up its head. It lacked vigor.
--- L0252
Whose cock was too heavy to carry.
So he put it on wheels,
And hired trained seals,
For his opening night in Wilkes-Barre.
--- L0343
Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'.
It grew so tremendous,
So long and so pendulous,
'Twas no good for fuckin', just showin'.
--- L0133
Come see me tonight around ten
And you will discover
I lie undercover
But my cock stretches out in the pen.
--- Anon
John's I think reaches the floor.
And if I show my wares
At the foot of the stairs,
It reaches the bedroom door.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of a dong most uncommonly large;
When ashore, with some luck,
It could travel by truck,
But at sea it required its own barge.
--- William N Nesbit P9701
Who had an elongated crank.
He went out to sea,
Whipped it out for a pee,
Tipped over his boat, and he sank.
--- Anon
That was several metres too thick.
To get satisfaction,
He took up some action
With an old whale named Moby Dick.
--- Anon
Who developed a new way of swimmin'.
By a marvelous trick,
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.
--- L1428
"I'd like to have that thing inside."
But he missed with his thrust;
She was sore with disgust,
'Cause he didn't mean long, he meant WIDE.
--- Chimera
Who knew all the women would smile
When he opened his coat--
ITS THE SIZE OF A BOAT!
He'd a shit-eating grin all the while.
--- Queentut
Renowned in vaudeville halls;
His favorite trick
Was to stand on his prick,
And then slide off the stage on his balls!
--- Anon
Had a cock that was measured in feet.
The width of its head
Gave some women dread,
While others believed it quite neat!
--- Anon
Who had an incredible dangler.
He'd spot a young filly
And unleash his willie;
And most of the time it would strangle her.
--- Mark Calvin
To George, in his priapic state.
He muttered, "Oh fuck it!"
Up chimney he stuck it,
Ecstatically shouting "It's grate!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was fed up with dicks being so narrow.
She created a man
From parts of her van,
With a dick the size of a marrow!
--- Anon
Who had an enormous cock;
It was 8 feet around
When he laid on the ground
And as tall as the Gibraltar rock
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Told a girl as they kissed in a hollow,
"Did you know that my dick
Is three inches thick?"
She said, "That's a hard one to swallow."
--- Anon
Engaged in some whoring in Libya,
And developed his joint
To the interesting point
Where it's hung all the way to his tibia.
--- G0239
Had a hundred and fifty pound pecker.
One day it broke down
Two miles out of town,
And he had it towed in by a wrecker.
--- Sonny TP9802a
Was born with twelve inches of dick.
Now this you may say
He's unlucky no way,
But it's not that long, it's that thick.
--- Anon
Had a most unmusual dick.
When soft it was small,
Just half an inch tall,
But erect it was twelve inches thick.
--- MrMalo
Envied his brother's twenty inch penis.
It was small consolation
That the rest of the nation,
Were with him in his relative weeness.
--- L0193
With me there they will not make connection.
If they make a come on
You will have a baton --
It is my gigantic erection.
--- Anon
Equipped with a huge Cigarillo.
His girlfriend once said,
While cozy in bed,
"Can I use it tonight as a pillow?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Supported his sore feet on trunions.
This let his dong dangle
At just the right angle
To use it for plowing the onions!
--- Grand Prix Lim 502 G0275
Found and elephant's whang in her stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
Or wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too."
--- Langford Reed L0022
It's talents known all over town.
And heavy it's weight,
Is your 20 by 8,
So I'll take that please lying down.
--- Anon
In a flash he had his left hand on
A prick that was so big,
There was room for a pig
And a whole flock of turkeys to land on.
--- Anon
All the ladies say it's stupendous.
They would take one look
And shove it in their nook,
And say it'll take years to mend us!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A young man aroused his girl's anger.
As they strove in the dark,
She was heard to remark,
"What you need in a zeppelin hangar."
--- L0259
Now that is a very fine trick.
But stiff as a sentry,
It would limit your entry
To tunnels enormous and slick.
--- Anon
To give my old todger subtraction!
Its massive 12 inches
Is fought for by wenches;
'Tween whores it keeps causing a faction.
--- Anon
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