MORE
They say that his member is bent; A myopic old codger from Trent A randy young man was called Steve; A lackey named Langer once lusted Politicians, it seems, always knock... While washing my balls in Bangkok, There once was a man from Eau Claire, There once was a man from Tashkent, "You're big", she quite rightly observed, There once was a Scot named McFooshan, The penis of old Mr. Tittle Of a girl that I know in Hoboken, There was an old person of Chester, A young organ grinder named Frank, There was a poor woman named Little With a whore, a frail fellow named Jay You hear all those screams from George Hurst? I once heard a luckless account A man who took quite a fall There was a young fellow from Kent There once was a man from Nantucket There once was a man from Skopier An unfortunate fellow named Lang He'll never have children will Merve; You gotta feel bad for Maloney; When a fellow that dressed like a fey Mr Wand had a funny erection, A hermit who live on St. Roque, Don't pity a fellow named Biddle, There was an old lady from Kent A pilot who flew to Salinas There was a young lady of Kent, George went to the doc for remedial Old George had an odd-looking dangular. Old George has an interesting crotch. I see you've been delving in dic. If the doctor says 'Hadrian's Wilt', Not that it always transpired A man from the Cape of Good Hope, "Geronimo!" shouted Cherie, There was a poor fellow named Lum; There once was this man in Tibet, While jumping the next lady in line, An incompetent rapist from Ghent, You've checked how my pecker is ended I know an unfortunate bloke In the faraway village of Cass, Handsome and tall and mustached, Although my dick isn't little, The young man who was dating Miss Venus, There is an old man from Koblenz Now be very careful, please Doc; A little round fellow from Ghent A lad from Cork playing tennis, There was a young man named McGuire; There was an old Scot named MacDooshan, I once had a dream where a spammer For the foot-doc, a fellow named Brent, This young fellow's tassle was lank; Said Joe with a sigh melancholic, He had it, that wretched Mahony -- To a patient said Dr. Peyronie, Complained a poor fellow named Pease, Bill Clinton tries so hard to please -- A foreign young man, Japanese, (P d - penis becomes bent due to athero-cavernosa plaques)
I sing of a loser named Biddle; Poor Clinton is cursed with Peyronies,
Such talk of the President!
But none can agree
To what degree,
And in which direction it went.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Has a poker that's terribly bent.
He's nigh had it broken
From inaccurate pokin',
And it's often backfired when he went!
--- Anon
He suffered from frenulum breve.
While having a bang,
His bowstring went twang;
His bad luck he just couldn't believe.
--- Donald McGill
For a lady he should have mistrusted.
When she hinted at banging,
She really meant hanging;
That's how Langer's poor banger got busted.
--- Pierce Evans
Like men do when hard as a rock.
As Confucious would say,
"If you pass door side-way,
You're most guaranteed to Bangkok!"
--- Friar
Where you bash them quite hard on a rock,
By the banks of a creek.
I let out a shriek,
When I missed and then mangled my cock.
--- Bill Wall
Whose penis was perfectly square.
His wife's V-shaped pubic
Was reshaped so cubic,
It looked like a box framed with hair.
--- David Miller
Whose prick was incredibly bent.
You'd know if you screw
The girls that he knew...
'Cause they were the ones with the dent.
--- Cubby
But remarked, "Your erection is curved."
He said, "Like as not,
It'll find your G-spot."
As he cork-screwed and twisted and swerved.
--- Peter
Whose tool had an odd convolution,
And filled him with guilt,
For the tilt of his kilt,
Caused frequent diurnal pollution.
--- Anon
Could never be termed really little;
It truly looked splendid,
All red and distended,
But used under pressure, proved brittle.
--- Armand E Singer 832
Only few words, and softly, are spoken
By a group of ten men
Who attacked her, and then
Crawled away with ten penises broken.
--- John Miller
Who several small children did pester;
They threw a large stone
Which broke off his bone,
And caused his molester to fester.
--- Edwardian Leer 108 P9306
Spent mornings just winding his crank.
But extending the tune
Into late afternoon,
Caused his crank to break off at the shank.
--- Pierce Evans
Whose spouse's old prick was quite brittle;
Though he sued her in court
'Cause she broke it off short,
She managed to get an acquittal.
--- Armand E Singer 175
Did not notice, while fucking away,
That his cock broke in two.
A cuntlapper named Lew
Had it sent back by mail the next day.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1797
A boil on his prick has just burst,
Which doesn't explaian
The depth of his pain:
His penis had broken off first.
--- Armand E Singer 978
Of a poor soul whose last name was Blount;
He broke off his dickie
When, caught in a quickie,
Too swiftly he tried to dismount.
--- Cap'n Bean P9807
Feared he had injured a ball.
But he learned pretty quick,
He had broken his dick,
And his balls were intact, after all.
--- Sylvia Honig
Whose wife left him battered and bent.
He was bent over double
And this gave him much trouble;
No one knew if he came or had went.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who's dick was too deformed to fuck it.
It looked quite wrecked
'Cause in full erect,
'Twas the shape of a Chicken McNugget!
--- Anon
Whose penis got floppier and floppier.
The problem was partly
Last years office party,
When the lid was slammed down on the copier.
--- Robert Elliot
Has a crescent-shaped bend to his whang;
If he plumbs genitalia,
Like those things in Australia,
It quickly returns whence it sprang.
--- Armand E Singer 899a
His penis is bowed in a curve;
The bend on the end
Diverts all his spend --
A problem that most don't deserve.
--- Armand E Singer 809
His genital woes are not phony.
The big kink on his dink
Is far worse than you'd think;
He's paging old Dr Peyronie.
--- Armand Singer
Was told he dressed wrong, for a gay,
I shoved his left nut
Up the crack in his butt;
So now, he's dressed right all the way!
--- Brian Belge
That would never be prized for perfection.
For, although it was long
And was hard and was strong,
It grew off in an errant direction.
--- Anon
Had a dork perfected to poke.
He diddled the donkeys
And meddled with monkeys,
And would have done worse, but it broke.
--- L0639
Whose prick has a kink in the middle,
For his lady-love's cunt
Has a groove near the front --
They fit like a glove when they diddle.
--- Armand E Singer 727
Whose husband was dreadfully bent.
And those who beheld her
Asked what had impelled her
To marry that fractalized gent.
--- Norm Storer P0209
In one of those old Catalinas,
Pulled back on the yoke
With a hell of a stroke,
And fractured his co-pilot's penis.
--- G2050
Whose husbands dick, it was bent.
They could fuck around corners,
But there were few mourners,
When they gave up the practice for Lent.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Work on his tool polyhedral.
That surgery, plastic,
Was truly fantastic;
It's shaped now like Salisbury Cathedral.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file szl
Rectangular? No, but triangular;
Isosceles too.
Three-dimensional? True;
Therefore tetrahedronically angular.
--- Peter Wilkins
(I know, 'cause I've been on the watch.)
Did not know 'til now,
Triangles are how
The old duffer fills up a notch.
--- Anon
And Oxford's, by damn, is real thick,
But mine's got a curve
That'll shatter your nerve,
And one bump that'll sure do the trick!
--- Anon
Then your dick has a droop and a tilt;
But this painful disease
Can be cured with some ease
By removing your sporran and kilt.
--- Anon
That it turned out quite as she desired,
One gent of Trent
Was undoubtedly bent,
And he didn't advance, he retired.
--- Cyril Ray
With women no longer could cope.
So to India he went
With his tool badly bent,
Where he studied the trick with the rope.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1861A
As she pounced on my stiffy with glee.
But her leap on my meat
From a height of six feet
Concertina'd it into a 'Z'.
--- Anon
A kink put his dink on the bum.
The bend on the end
Sure plugged up his spend;
He never quite managed to come.
--- Armand Singer
And this is the strangest one yet.
His member was bent,
So that when he spent,
The lady was hooked...you bet!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My rod was feeling just fine.
But in the next minute,
I stumbled and bent it,
And the last became first for a time.
--- Anon
Had a phallus all crooked and bent.
He confessed with chagrin,
"True, I fail to get in,
But it leaves one helluva dent!"
--- Lims For Year - 01
And thought I would not be offended?
It's a very low blow
To let everyone know
That my pecker, like Clinton's, is bended.
--- John
Whose penis was fashioned from oak.
When given a jerk
By a lady, berserk,
It splintered and finally broke.
--- Craig
Lived a gent with a cock made of glass.
The poor jerk was a fairy,
The result rather hairy,
It broke off in another fag's ass.
--- Armand E Singer 297
Clyde fell off his cayuse and mashed
His favorite part,
And I don't mean his heart,
'Cause the heartless don't feel so abashed.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
It has quite a curve in the middle.
It's so hard to screw,
And jerk it off, too,
And I miss the bowl when I piddle!
--- Blowcephus TP9802
Had some trouble erecting his penis.
So with candor, she said,
As she climbed into bed,
"Let's get something, my dear, straight between us."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0368
With so many sharp angular bends
In his dick (so he claims)
That whenever he aims
For a pee, he needs help from his friends.
--- Peter Wilkins A
I need some repairs on my cock.
Hit by cricket balls,
I now just wear smalls --
I pad it out now with a sock!
--- Archie
Met up with that guy from Tashkent.
They tried one-on-one
But it was not fun,
Because they were equally bent.
--- Anon
Took a line-drive shot to the penis.
He moaned and he coughed,
Then his pecker fell off.
Now he's a young lass, Kate Maginnis.
--- VOL 3
For a child he did wish to be sire.
He went in with his oak,
And poked 'till it broke,
But all he could do was perspire.
--- Ed Skinner
Whose tool had an odd convolution.
This filled him with guilt,
For the tilt of his kilt,
Caused frequent nocturnal pollution.
--- G2164
Burst into the scene with a yammer,
Saying "I've got smut for free!
I swear there's no fee!"
I whanged off his crank with a hammer.
--- H Welchel
His pecker exposed, badly bent.
"That's no foot!" said the doc,
But Brent claimed that his cock
Was exactly twelve inches extent.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1970
What's more it was bent like a crank.
With some warts on the end,
And spots at the bend,
Made it hard for the poor bloke to wank.
--- Ian Kentish
"I'd love to indulge in a frolic,
But doubt that your snatch
Has a bend which can match
Me in curvature terms parabolic."
--- Peter Wilkins
The symptom described by Peyronie,
Who named the disease
Afflicting men's ease:
A kink in a fellow's baloney.
--- Armand E Singer 479B
"I see you've a right bent baloney.
If it lists during sport,
Well to starbobard or port,
Rebend it -- your cock isn't bony.
--- Armand E Singer 479A
It hurts worse than bites from sand fleas;
But my painful erections
Are not due to infections;
I fear it's Peyronie's disease.
--- Armand Singer
His thing hangs clear down to his knees --
But the bend on the end
Interferes with his spend;
Our Pres had Peyronie's disease.
--- Armand E. Singer P9806
Could bugger himself with great ease.
And that's quite a trick
Unless you are sick
With a case of "Peyronies' disease."
--- Tom Patton P9805
Peyronie's was spoiling his diddle;
But that infamous bend
Wasn't right at the end.
It dropped down smack in the middle.
--- Armand Singer P0109
The ailment afflicting balonies;
The bend at the end
Diverts all the spend,
And warrants the laughter of cronies.
--- Armand Singer
MORE