MORE

You really will have to atone
For skinning the skin from his bone.
The next time you look
To cover a book,
You'll have to use some of your own!

There once was a man named Creft,
Whose prick was bent to the left.
To his girl, Phyllis Bower,
It looked like Pisa's Tower,
But it still felt damn good in her cleft!
--- Laurence Craft

A young sex professor named Dingle
Made all the girls' nerve-endings tingle.
And his groovy red cock
Caused a grave mental block
In those who preferred to stay single.
--- G0312

Caught by the Amazons of Zardon,
They all volunteered to stand guard on
Their well-hung captive,
So I held them enraptive,
By showing them all of my hardon.
--- MrMalo

Said the Queen to her husband the King,
"Your cock is a beautiful thing!
Its royal presence
Humbles the peasants,
And causeth the angels to sing!"
--- Writerman

Peckers, both barren and fertile,
Often find fashion a hurdle.
Can't make up their mind
As to which they're inclined:
Sporting a crew neck or turtle.
--- Anon

I don't want you breaking my toys!
You're just like all bad little boys.
With parts that change size,
You're know you're a prize,
So you brag when your pecker deploys.
--- Marty

A mason, who married in Warwick,
Had a column decidedly Doric;
For the rest of her life
His gratified wife
Was happy, and even euphoric.
--- Harold C Bibby

A well-endowed lecher of Warwick
Left his architect mistress euphoric,
"Not because of the size,"
She remarked with surprise,
"But your column -- decidedly Doric!"
--- Hugh Oliver A105B

I for one would never balk
About showing my bean. You could talk
About how it flowers,
And grows by the hours,
Attached to its mighty fine stalk.
--- Anon

Some plants I will pick and collect
For a nice flower arrangement effect.
Ooh, there's a nice bloom!
'Twill look good in my room;
'Tis a Hollyhock, firm and erect.
--- Anon

There was a young man from Caerphilly
With a member enormously silly.
All the women would queue
Just to get a good view,
As he flashed it about, willy-nilly.
--- Anon

I once met the girl down the street,
Who promised she'd give me a treat.
She told me, "Don't waste it;
Just allow me to taste it!
It looks like a great piece of meat!"
--- Kaylin Brandon

The head of a girl's convent school
Took all his lessons nude on a stool.
The class was enthralled
With the size of his balls,
And the halo surrounding his tool.
--- Anon

This feat from old Corinth's historic:
A stud there, in moments euphoric,
Could build for inspection
A hometown erection,
Then switch from Ionic to Doric.
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver

It's true that my cock is quite dumb;
And all it can do is just plumb.
Though the head's always bigger
Than the rest, I still figger
It'll find a way to overcome.
--- Anon

There was an old bugger named Bailey
Who bragged to his pub-fellows, gaily:
"My magical staff
Weighs a pound and a half,
And looks like St. Patrick's shillelagh!"
--- Anon

There was a young lad named Peter,
Who screamed, "Ladies please read my meter!
It's a hot pink love-muscle,
No, Please don't start a tussle,
Its temperature is quite a heater."
--- Anon

A vagrant who lived in the park,
Had a penis that glowed in the dark.
Crowds came to stare
At phenomena so rare,
So they designated him a National Landmark.
--- Puff Adder

There is no other pecker like mine;
The girls say it's simply divine.
They all like to ride it
By bouncing astride it;
They love both the size and design.
--- Peter Wilkins a

There was a young man called Grant,
Whose willy was shaped like a plant.
It wasn't a hydrangea,
But something much stranger!
Describe it? I'm afraid I can't!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I wonder sometimes if I should
Take pictures of my sweet manhood
And post them somewhere
On the internet where
They'd pass for old "Johnny Be Good!"
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named Dick,
Who had a magnificent prick.
It was shaped like a prism,
And shot so much gism,
He made every cocksucker sick.
--- G0843

A poorly-hung fellow was Tucker
And no good at all as a fucker.
Yet when girls saw his root
They agreed it was cute,
And their lips would invariably pucker.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0631

There was a young fellow named Bender
With a cock that was quite an ascender.
It would gracefully rise
For a few of the guys,
Saluting in radiant splendor.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

In your breeches a scroggy old sloe,
This "Blackthorn" about which you crow?
It comes with white clusters...
Like spurts from groin thrusters?
Does influx of sap make it grow?
--- Tutta Gioia

You could say I've had plenty of practice
With different size spears, but the fact is
That there is only one
That'll make this gal come;
It's huge and shaped just like a cactus.
--- Anon

My gnarly old crank ain't a prize,
But it's grand in Marylou's eyes.
She tells me it's cute
And she won't give a hoot
'Til the day it fails to rise.
--- Anon

There was a young man from Hong Kong,
Whose pride was his elegant dong.
When girls asked, "Do you use it?"
He replied, "Just amuse it,
And you'll get it too much and too long."
--- G0360

'Twas the thirteenth, and Friday to boot,
When he first wore his new Pucci suit.
And before the next morn,
It was tattered and torn,
But his girl thought his root was still cute.
--- Anon

When he pops out to wash his wang,
The neighbor-wives start to harangue
Their lazy old men --
"There's a cutie, again.
I sure wish you had his whizbang!"
--- Anon

What you proposed made me squirm.
I do believe there is a term
For that quaint little snake
That you take out and shake...
Willie One-Eye, the Wonderous Worm.
--- Jeanie

While frigging it, editor Hand
Tight wrapped a wide cloth `round his gland;
On this tourniquet
He wrote the word "stet,"
Which means "don't remove, let it stand."
--- Armand Singer

This is file sel

Though seldom too soft or too pliant,
Sweet Peter's dong is a giant.
It earns our regard,
That yard of hard bard...
But is it Y2K compliant?
--- Anon

A proud cocksman from old Aberdeen,
Buffed his dickhead to get a nice sheen.
"I want it looking dapper
Sliding past her piss flappers,
That's why they call me Mr. Clean!"
--- Cruelty Jones

Observing the bulge in his khakis,
Sister Phyllis was heard to remark "He's
A big lad! I hope
He won't mind a quick grope..."
But she found that the bulge was his car keys.
--- CeeJay

There once was a man named Schwartz
Whose dick was covered in warts.
But the girls did play
With his dick every day,
'Cause good old Schwartz, he came in quarts.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Farmer Giles ain't as daft as he seems,
As he stands there and foolishly beams,
'Cause under his smock,
Caressing his cock,
Is Gertrude, the girl of his dreams.
--- Michael Horgan

And for all you "advanced" dirty minds,
The dong that works is sure mine.
I've not yet controlled it,
But wish you'd come hold it;
I think that would be just divine.
--- Anon

My crank is so fine, they can't stand it.
In fact, up in Boston, they've banned it.
The damn thing draws bitches
Like scratches to itches;
Therefore, I but rarely unhand it.
--- Anon

Just look at the end of your dick.
Girls like them both long and so thick.
She may be a bit rough
With that S and M stuff,
But you'll find that she don't miss a trick.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Oh, very demure was Ms Marts;
She never would belch or let farts.
But claims it's not wrong
To grab a guy's dong,
Exposing the sum of his parts.
--- Armand Singer

There once was a man from Southend
Whose penis had shrunk at the end.
But when he undressed,
All the girls were impressed,
As he stroked it to make it extend.
--- Anon

In Brooklyn there lived a small boy;
To his parents a bundle of joy.
He had playthings galore;
They covered the floor,
But his dick was his favorite toy.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

Those little ones grow up so quick
He's a doctor who's tending the sick
He has gadgets by the score
Cameras, watches and more
But his favorite toy is his dick
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

At sixty he's still going strong
Though refractory time's rather long
He's still getting joy
From his favorite toy
With Viagra to help it along
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

At eighty he's agile and spry
He has everything money can buy
His mind is still quick
But as for his dick
It's enough to make old doctors cry
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

There was a young lady from Gloucester.
Who wanted a child she could foster.
She found a young boy
And played with his toy;
The boy is now first on her roster.
--- R Rezel

She opened his zipper to feel it,
And his trousers fell down to reveal it.
She said, "I must eat
This banana so sweet,
But first I believe I should peel it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1259

There was an old fellow called Bailey,
Who sported a well-used shillelagh;
When asked by a girl
As to what made it curl,
He replied that he fondled it daily.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My love Marylou's quite a flirt;
Loves to tease my best friend, Big Bert.
Once, out having dinner
She pulled out his weiner,
And fondled it during dessert!
--- Anon

Said the daughter to mother, "Some slick
Put his hand in my panties, real quick,
And he fondled my twat,
But I fixed the young snot,
When I fondled the knob on his prick."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1904

Frankie and Johnny were lovers,
Especially under the covers.
When she pulled out his trigger
She said, "Mmm, what a frigger!
But it makes so many girls mothers."
--- L0937

I'm in love with a fellow called Frank
With a cock like the gun on a tank.
And there's nothing so grand
As to take him in hand
And give him a jolly good wank.
--- Michael Horgan

"My dick," said a fellow named Weems,
"Has a mind of its own, so it seems.
It likes to stand up
And beg like a pup,
And when it is tickled, it creams."
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

In a men's room somewhere in this land,
A sign over the urinal doth stand.
"Right here in this place,
The future of our race,
You're holding right now in your hand."
--- Jeff Wisnia

There was a young man of Belgravia,
Who cared neither for God nor his Savior.
He walked down the Strand, (He walked 'round Times Square)
With his cock in his hand, (With exposed derriere,)
And was had up for indecent behavior.

(He walked on the decks, Displaying his sex,)
--- Norman Douglas L1374

That "tossing" of course is quite wrong
For it should have been "tossed" (like my dong
Was on Saturday night,
When young Kay with delight
Said "Let's see what you've got in your thong.")
--- Anon

There once was a girl from Kentucky,
Who considered herself very lucky.
She'd unzip the fly
Of any old guy,
And never found one that was yucky.
--- Don

There was a young tutor, most wise,
Who loved to feel cock, just for size.
At every school dance,
He'd unzip the boys' pants;
They nicknamed him Lord of the Flies.
--- Donald Dimock

The young fortuneteller, Miss Millie
Finds reading the hand somewhat silly.
She has much more success,
When she starts to caress,
The veins on your membrum virile.
--- Albin Chaplin

My passion, now you have ignited;
You've got me so very excited.
It would be my pleasure
Your pecker to measure,
But you misbehave and I'll bite it!
--- Michelle

A Lolita from near Anacorties
Had a preference for men in their forties;
And measured at leisure
The length of each pleasure,
From tip to the curlies and shorties.
--- Hugh Oliver A120A

Women often indulge in the wish,
That men only do when they fish.
How this wonderworm
May be only a sperm,
But the one got away was a dish!
--- Dennis Hammes

Observing the bulge in his khakis,
I ran my hand over his fly - He's
Disadvantaged, you know.
Very little to show!
And that bulge was his spare set of car keys!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My cock is a wonderful sight;
The ladies just swoon with delight.
Some men feel so blue
At the things I can do,
They jack themselves off, out of sight.
--- Jim Weaver Collection


MORE