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That really was cruel, as you know; Yes! "Pissed his name in the snow!" Snow Writing is more of a chore I pity the boys from the South; "Snow writing" must be much less fun This flute of yours sure is amazing; It isn't much fun smoking pot Maintained a teen-ager named Ruel, "Hey nurse!", cried the surgeon, "I say -- A newly wed, missing a knob There was a young girl named Consuela Then a mathematician did pounce Consuela, while fitting my thong, My weapon when raised to full sail I wonder, dear ladies, just where A gal chased a young man named Roger; When checking, my tailor Miss Pease, A hillbilly from old West Virginia, An anatomy student named Dot The female reporter, Miss Dix, There once was a man from South Ealing, I hail from the shire of Argyll; The 'Blackthorn' I keep in my britches, In Reekie one lass was in awe -- Eight inches from bulb-eye to root, Last year it featured at Cannes "Look, Daddy!" said Mary, "At Spot!" For someone who's so very young, We revisit the man from Devises, How true, the gem's in the middle, But what of those well shaped large plums I know that would really be fun She said: "What I'd like in my box, Now you introduced me to Flo, I'd never be that daft or silly; If you want a man well endowed, A plowing is not what I need. Cute Linda will stand by the fence I wouldn't find anything wrong, Although you think six-and-a-tenth I'll demonstrate, so -- you may view it She said, "Trouser trout are boss. So in a twinkle and wink of an eye, One thing you can do as a boy, "Ahoy, skipper! Look at that land McDonald the Scot, a whorehounder, Forthwith, his mac bloomed long and round -- In Belgium, just south-east of Bruges, A girl who resided in Ghent A fellow from Huntington Station We'd read that whipped cream is devine, An ingenious young fellow named Herman, When I was a baby, my penis The tool of the Bishop of Truro (And sometimes rolled under the bureau.)
There was a young man of Naragansett Said an artist of fame from Anoka, There once was a lass name of Shannon, There was a young lady named Hicks, There once was a Father O'Neil A peculiar young man of Detroit A young handyman from Biloxi There was an old gent of Kentuck, A Scottish inventor McKean, You don't say what gender you're friend is; A hopeful young fellow from Harrow, There was a young man of Siam A French chef who worked in Bombay,
Sure, the grammar's a bit of a show.
But to point it all out,
Ain't what the season's about;
I think you pissed your name in his snow!
--- Impervious
My memory brings me a glow
From the innocent joy
Of being a boy,
"Pissing off" some bloke that I know.
--- John Miller
For girls, though I've known three or four
To do it in style,
But I have to smile;
Their longhand is generally poor.
--- John Miller
For snow thay have had such a drouth.
'Cause of childhood repression
Of ribald expression,
Potty language still spouts from their mouth.
--- John Miller
Far North, with no midwinter sun
To make your work glisten,
And you have to listen
To gibes on what frostbite has done.
--- John Miller
I touched it - and look: It is raising!
I have seen much and more,
Nothing like this before --
What a strange but so cute little play-thing.
--- Anon
And I'm bored with my luxury yacht.
No, my favorite toy
Is the prick on that boy,
And I play with it rather a lot.
--- Michael Horgan
"Indulging myself is so cool;
My pants are my castle;
I can tickle my tassel,
So long as it's just pocket pool."
--- Armand Singer
Will you stop that! - it's not yours to play
With. So what if it quivers
And gives you the shivers;
For god's sake now put it away!"
--- Anon
From a watch that hung down from his fob,
Searched his work bench inside
And then checked with his bride,
That he had the right tool for the job.
--- Val Burns P0608
Who worked as a gentleman's tailor;
She'd size up the guys
With a flash of her eyes
And a feel of their measurements scalar.
--- Peter Wilkins
On Consuela; he made her buns bounce.;
"The heat of the meat
Is a scalar to beat;
How you vector is what really counts."
--- Allen Wolverton
Impromptu, broke out into song.
"There will be no charge
For something this large,"
She warbled, "Good buy and so long"
--- Travis Brasell
And primed so it will never fail,
Will make its last stand
At the sweetest demand,
Of the arms of a warm, eager female.
--- Archie
You're most ticklish. A survey, I swear;
Not for personal gain,
And to make it quite plain,
I reveal I'm most ticklish THERE!
--- Peter Wilkins
He tried, but he couldn't dodge her.
With a hand in his pants,
She reached for his lance,
He blushed as his todger grew larger.
--- Kaylin
While fiddling about on her knees,
Cried, "It's right in the middle!
I'll give it a twiddle
And rub it against my chemise!"
--- Tutta Gioia
By the name of Peter Gosinya,
Was exposing his glans,
With both of his hands,
Saying, "Just like a 'possum, I'll skin ya'."
--- Oddo Von Schlong T9801
Kissed her boyfriend to get him real hot.
Then unzipped his fly
And stammered "Oh My!
What a large ventral forelimb you've got!"
--- Michael Weinstein P8601
Used all her wiles and her tricks
To get news, I presume,
In the men's locker room,
Where she fondled the winning team's pricks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1848
Who found his prick highly appealing.
But not to feel dumb,
He made his hand numb,
So 'twas like someone else doing feeling.
--- Laura
I've traveled for many a mile
Through Ireland and Scotland,
And Teatland and Twatland.
Your daughters I soon shall defile.
--- H Welchel
As lesson to police it teaches.
They slander my name,
And coarsely defame,
While deep in their arsehole it reaches.
--- H Welchel
In Blackthorn a wee bairn she saw --
She ripped off my sheath
And spat through her teeth.
And then she cried "Bare up -- Go raw!"
--- H Welchel
When primed, cocked and ready to shoot.
A muscular beast
Awaiting your feast,
And a six inch circumference to boot.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In the movie of "Look Mom, No Hands"
It took second prize
For texture and size;
I've set up a club for its fans.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Poor Dad felt his face getting hot,
But before he could think
She said, "See Dad, it's pink,
And slippery, which Johnny's is not!"
--- John Miller
What Mary said next really stung:
"Look Daddy, that trick
Of Spot's with his dick!
Well Johnny does that with his tongue!"
--- Travis Brasell
With testicles of different sizes.
We women don't care
If his balls are a pair,
It's the bit in the middle we prizes!
--- Marlene Lewis
And with it we just love to fiddle!
First with our mouth,
Then further south,
In OUR middle we place it to diddle!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Upon which a tender gal strums?
The species would cease
'Cause into your crease
He'd be shooting blanks when he comes.
--- Frank Fazed
To screw so no baby's begun.
But don't castrate yet,
On the chance that I'll get
A broad-shouldered, tall, strapping son.
--- Frank Fazed
Is a nice juicy handfull of cocks.
And if I want more,
I'll go down to the shore,
And pick some more up on the docks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file sdl
She was certainly eager to show
Me her golden delicious...
But boy, she was vicious,
As my bright orange pippins still glow.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I like my boobs plain flat -- not frilly.
If you were a sleuth,
You'd know that the truth
Is I want a double D willy!
--- Anon
Then watch me stand out from the crowd.
This magnificent pole's
Widened many a hole...
Forgot you prefer to be plowed.
--- Anon
I have got a furrow, indeed;
I've had it for years
And now it appears
The crop has all just gone to seed!
--- Anon
And watch when the stallions commence
To hang out their dongs;
She cries, "Wrong of wrongs;
Nine inches on men makes no sense."
--- Travis Brasell
If men had nine inches of dong.
I haven't to date
Eyewitnessed an eight;
Sized seven, I'd break out in song.
--- Goin2later
Is quite meagre, an average length,
Anatomically speaking,
You're better off seeking
Circumference, stiffness and strength.
--- Peter Wilkins
As meagre, but grab it and chew it;
You'll find that my gland
Gets too wide for your hand;
You'll be eager to straddle and screw it.
--- Peter Wilkins
Smothered shorts and I'm at a loss
To find something better,
That can make me wetter,
And they come with their own tartar sauce!"
--- Anon
I reached down and unzipped my fly.
With lust she was mad,
And said she'd be glad
To give Moby Dick a try!
--- Anon
On your own in the bath, is enjoy
Playing "periscopes" (though
With a lady it's so
Much more fun for your favorite toy).
--- Anon
Ahead shaped like a mammary gland
With a nipple." And lo
And behold in a mo-
Ment your periscope comes to a stand.
--- Anon
Engaged a slut just to confound her.
She stood him a-tilt,
Reached under his kilt,
And found there a hot quarter-pounder!
--- H Welchel
Tuminescently over two pound!
She said, "Does this raise
Come with mayonnaise?"
Indeed is spewed quarts, and she drowned.
--- H Welchel
Lives a peasant whose penis is huge.
He whirls it and twirls it,
Then curls and unfurls it,
And attends to the end with some rouge.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Went to visit this fabulous gent.
He showed it, she stroked it,
She rode it, he poked it.
She drooled at his tool -- then he went.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was the cause of a lively sensation...
He got many a bunt
With a sign on his front:
"IT'S AVAILABLE FOR PROCREATION."
--- Grand Prix Lim 327
So my partner spread lots onto mine,
But I shrank from the task
When I heard "Baked Alask-
a", for that's where I still draw the line!
--- John Miller 0260 a
Tied a bow on the end of his worm, and
His wife said, "How festive!",
But he said, "Don't be restive--
You'll wriggle it off with your squirmin'."
--- L1435
Was as white as the buttocks of Venus.
But now 'tis as red
As her nipples instead --
All because of the feminine genus!
--- L0213
Was a rich colorado maduro.
And the real cognoscenta (His balls hung much lower)
Said his balls were magenta, (And dragged on the floor,)
Shot through with chiaroscuro.
--- Dana Thompson G0474
Who colored his prick to enhance it.
But the girls were afraid,
That ere they got laid,
'Twould lose all its color in transit.
--- L1497
"Yes, I color my weapon with ochre,
'Cause my wife's, so to speak,
A banana-mad freak,
And she fancies it is, when I poke her."
--- Hugh Oliver A066A
Quite impressed with the size of Sam's cannon.
She liked to get kinky
And cover his dinky
With Yoghurt (usually Dannon.)
--- Mac
Who delighted to play with men's pricks.
Which she would embellish
With evident relish,
And make them stand up and do tricks.
--- L1437
Who wondered just how it would feel
To carry a gong
Hanging down from his dong,
And occasionally let the thing peal.
--- Larry Wilde
Was agreed to be quite maladroit.
After doughnuts and tea
He would relish a pee,
With a ring on his thing, like a quoit.
--- Keith MacMillan A065B
Tried coating his tool with epoxy.
In practice he found,
Though his theory was sound,
It was rather like screwing by proxy.
--- John Ciardi
Who boasted a filigreed schmuck.
But he put it away
For fear that one day,
He might put it in and get stuck.
--- L0180
Has invented a fucking machine.
It was fixed to the cock
With a nice little lock,
And was very easy to clean.
--- Anon
It does matter -- even for the trendies.
If he's the right type,
Put a flag on his pipe;
At least he will know where his end is.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Once feathered his cock like an arrow.
"There's room for improvement,"
Said his girl, "in the movement.
Make it flutter about like a sparrow."
--- Anon
Who went to a ball dressed as Spam.
Utterly whimsical,
He tried to be quimsical,
And wore frills 'round his tool like a ham.
--- G2503
Hadn't bathed for a year and a day.
His joint, if you please,
Was full of head cheese,
So he used it to make gratinee.
--- Puff Adder
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