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Old Hermit Dave got his urges
Whenever he had hormone surges.
And though impermissible,
Had pleasures VISCERAL,
While droning delirious dirges.
--- Chris Papa

There was an old hermit named Mose,
Who wandered about without clothes.
So in Summer he got
Rather sweaty and hot,
While in winter he froze, I suppose.
--- Cyber Geezer

In these hills lives an ancient recluse
Who for years now has suffered abuse;
But his name isn't Dave,
And that whore in his cave
Isn't dead, but she's run out of juice.

(Isn't dead, it is Herbert Marcuse; Irma La Douce)
--- Norm Storer P9602

We know what's in the cave of old Dave,
But it's not just the money he'd save.
He likes his Zombie whore
'Cause he can come before,
And not be told how to behave.
--- Norm Brust

There once was a young man from Kent,
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
Into the dank cave
Of dead-whore fucking Dave,
Another dollar best went unspent!
--- Arden

There once was a fellow from Ghent
Whose penis broke off, when it bent;
Now he wears it no more,
For it fell to the floor,
And he never discerned where it went.
--- Cap'n Bean P0007

There once was a lady from Brent
Who had a vagina quite bent.
With her lover's erection,
He quite lost direction,
And ended up over near Kent.
--- Wobbley

There once was a young man from Kent,
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
No longer he waited,
He got it truncated,
But died from the blood that he spent.
--- Njoroge

There once was a young man from Kent,
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
In the car door, it blocked
And all around were shocked,
At the fact that it left a huge dent!
--- Njoroge

A long-peckered fellow was Lew;
When he screwed, it would double in two.
He sincerely believed
That he came, but was grieved
To discover he went when he blew.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0518

And there, too, was this young man from Kent,
Who's fellows were glad that he went
To leave their oasis
On a permanent basis,
As he gave up the music for Lent.
--- Anon

There was a young lady from Trent,
Whose TV antenna got bent.
The neighbors went crazy;
Their screens got all hazy,
For instead of receiving, she sent.
--- Arthur Deex P9812

There was a young lady from Brit Head,
Whose satellite dish got all pitted.
The neighbors had fits
When their screens showed her tits,
For in lieu of receive, she transmitted!
--- Arthur Deex P9812

There was a young man from the Kent,
Who's cock was incediblely bent.
One night during action,
He went into traction,
And instead of coming, he went.
--- Anon

As an athlete my future was glum;
I was cursed with a too active bum.
Said my doc, "For your Wheaties,
Substitute cantharides.
Then, instead of going, you'll come.
--- Anon N

A peculiar sensation has Rose;
Much weirder than anyone knows.
This peculiar sensation
While in copulation
Is, instead of coming, Rose goes.
--- Jim Menger P9207

There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent.
So his left nut it balked
Whenever he walked,
But his wife thought he was heaven-sent.
--- MrMalo

There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent.
When he walked forward
His pecker turned floorward,
And hobbled his gait as he went.
--- MrMalo

There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent.
His secret divulged
When his pantaloons bulged;
It looked like a lopsided tent.
--- MrMalo

There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent.
He moved to Nantucket
But no one would suck it;
They'd given up blowjobs for Lent.
--- Frank Fazed

There was a young lover from Kent
Whose penis was not at all bent.
It stuck out quite straight
As he skewered his date;
In and out, in and out, 'till he spent!
--- Anon

Now Lent had returned once again,
But Billy just couldn't refrain.
Forty days was too long
To deprive his poor dong,
So instead of Lenting, he came.
--- Anon

There once was a young man from Kent,
Whose fishing rod hummed as it bent.
Alarmed by the humming,
Instead of it coming,
His fish got away, and it went.
--- Cyber Geezer N

The damsel met an AFFLUENT gent,
Who suggested that he'd pay the rent,
If only she'd care
A love nest to share.
So with thought of coming, they went.
--- Chris Papa

A flatulent lady's consent
Brought a rear-end screwing's intent.
A fart burst unexpected,
Her lover ejected,
And instead of coming, he went.
--- Anon

There was a young woman from Kent
Whose nose was so long that it bent.
She used it to diddle
Herself in the middle,
Though she wasn't too keen on the scent.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young fellow from Kent,
Whose dick ne'er got hard, so it bent.
He oft had an urgin'
To roger a virgin,
But hymens he'd not even dent.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There is a young fellow called Pat,
Who really don't know where it's at.
That bent gent from Kent
Is as old as the twent-
ieth century; P'raps more than that.
--- Anon

A macho lover, SENESCENT,
With a once rigid organ, now bent;
When push came to shove,
To try to make love,
Unlike former coming, he went.
--- Chris Papa

They tell of a young man from Kent
Whose member was famously bent.
If not for this quirk,
(Please spare me the smirk)
It could serve as a pole for his tent.
--- Norm Brust

Another young fellow from Kent,
His pecker is not the least bent;
The source of his trouble
Ain't putting in double,
But long `fore he comes he is spent.
--- Armand Singer

A curvy young lass from Nantucket
Walked around with her ass in a bucket.
"A precaution," she said,
"Until I am wed,
As someone might otherwise fucket."
--- Anon z

Nantucket is famous in rhyme.
I'm going to go there some time
To check out that bucket.
But, with my bad luck, it
Will stink and be covered in slime.
--- Anon

This is file scm

When you reach that Nantucket bucket,
Please use a good shovel and muck it;
Take care when you throw,
If not, you'll soon know
From the stink on those who did not duck it.
--- Anon

The cock on that man from Nantucket
Reached down to his boots where he'd tuck it.
And he'd come with a roar,
With a gallon or more
That he carried around in his bucket.
--- Anon

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Whose cunt was a big as a bucket.
Once you got past the hair,
You were poking dead air,
So it didn't do much good to fuck it
--- Anon z

There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who washed her big tit in a bucket.
She washed it real fine
In red Dago wine,
Now all the young guys want to suck it!
--- Anon z

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so thin he could pluck it,
Like the strings on a harp
In the key of C-Sharp,
And kept me awake when he struck it.
--- Travis Brasell

The famous Old Man of Nantucket
Still carries his filthy old bucket;
So I must now, and will,
Seize his damned pail and spill
Its revolting vile slop and shit. Fuck it!
--- David A Brooks Q

There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who kept lots of fish in a bucket.
If one should say, "You
Must be the girl who...",
Straight into the fryer she'd chuck it.
--- Graham Lester z

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Whose ass was so big she would truck it,
All the way to the market,
And there she would park it,
And rent dimples to boys for a ducat.
--- Anon z

When it's long and it's hard, she could suck it;
When it's soft and it's limp, she could chuck it.
But once she had found
Those balls, Oh so round!
He exclaimed to her, "Oh, please Nan, tuck it!"
--- Arden z

To visit Nantucket, the trick, see --
Is take a route south, until Dixie
Is reached by-and-by,
And then you can try
To deepthroat my dick, little pixie!
--- Travis Brasell

I'm sure that your dick is a beaut,
But my little brain did compute
The way to Nantucket
Is North, but hell, fuck it.
I'd much rather the scenic root.
--- Carol

The gals say my dick's picturesque,
And stately and so statuesque,
And when you arrive
Sometime around five,
You'll see that it's made a big messeque.
--- Travis Brasell

Well now, if your dick's that imposing,
I'll clean up that mess with a hosing,
And bring a supply
Of beach towels to dry,
Before I then get to the blowsing.
--- Carol

Some misguided souls on Nantucket
Built a shrine for that guy who could suck it.
But, now, 'pon my soul,
There is only a hole;
Even God got pissed off; Lightning struck it!
--- Anon

A limerick writer named Picket
Was hung so damn well, he could lick it.
"That guy in Nantucket,"
He said, "Better suck it,
Or right in his ear, I will stick it."
--- David Miller

The lady who lives in Nantucket
Found a quarter inch hole in her bucket.
She tried to find where
She could send for repair,
But then she decided, "Oh, fuck it!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408z

Said a man from Nantucket named Sisson
To a girl, "You don't know what you're missin'.
Let me shove my thing in."
She replied with a grin,
"If my cunt were an ear I would listen."
--- Albin Chaplin P0212

Nantucketensis ridebat
Penem longiormen sugebat:
Si auris machina
Aut potens vagina
Libenter ingredi potebat.
--- L0418

So long was the tongue of young Pickett,
That right up his ass he could stick it.
And he dreamed so discreet
Of the ultimate treat;
If his ear were a cunt, he would lick it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3004a

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He was glad to have tasted
The semen he'd wasted
On the girls and the guys who would fuck it.
--- E Schaefer

I, too, yearn to visit Nantucket,
And find some fresh whore for my bucket.
I'm sick of this old
One, so clammy and cold.
Even dogs can't be bothered to fuck it.
--- Peter Wilkins

Lets both to Nantucket return
And locate cheap whores who will churn
Their cunts on our crotches
While Hugh Clary watches
And Frank fucks a damned Grecian urn!
--- Peter Wilkins

That gash in Nantucket I spurn,
And I've given up that huge urn,
Because of the chafing;
I'll do no more waifing,
Subjecting my schwantz to that burn.
--- Frank

A dirty old fool from Nantucket,
Inserted his tool in a bucket.
When questioned -- "Why?"
Replied it is dry:
It's a hole so I might as well fuck it.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it.
--- Princton Tiger z

He followed them down to Pawtucket,
Nan, the man, and the bucket.
He said to the man,
"You're welcome to Nan."
But as for the bucket, Paw tuck it.
--- Chicago Tribune

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset.
But Nan and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset.
--- Exchange P0209

Of this story we hear from Nantucket,
About the mysterious loss of a bucket,
We are sorry for Nan,
As well as the man,
The cash and the bucket, Pawtucket.
--- Pawtucket Times P0209z

Nan's man had a plan to skedaddle,
And take off with the cash to Seattle.
On his arrival out west
The cash he'd invest,
Then kick back on a farm and raise cattle.
--- Bob Watson P0209

Then the man took the cash to Cotuit
Leaving Nan and her Pa home to rue it.
Pa said, "Daughter most clearly
I must beat him severely,"
Said Nan in response, "Please Gotuit!"
--- Thomas J Annacone P0209

The thief was then followed to Hingham,
By the sheriff whose goal was to bringham
Back to suffer the stares
Of a jury of peers.
"If he's guilty, by God, we will Hingham!"
--- Thomas J Annacone P0209

So the loot was returned to Nantucket.
It was jail for the man who had tucket.
But the judge was not rash,
Gave the lawyers the cash,
Leaving Nan and her Pa with the bucket.
--- Thomas J Annacone P0209

There was once a man from Nantucket,
He sailed the seas in a bucket,
Wed a gal named Flo;
Used the bucket to go,
And sailed all the way to Nantucket
--- Alecia Herbert P0209


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