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There was an Italian named Marc, There was a young fellow named Morgan There was a young fellow of Kings To Angels let us thanks extend. There was a young fellow of Ur, An Indian of old Fort Duquesne Veni, Vedi, Vici, The use as key holder object, There once was a fairy named Avers, A highly aesthetic young Jew Single male from East Millenocket, There was a young fellow of Barrow, There was a young artist called Nicky, A Manhattan cabbie named Rourke There was a young fellow of Wick His orange dick had made him unstable-- There was a young artist named Drew A colorful fellow was Joe; An eccentric young man of Ontaria, If any good lady is sitting If your willy is cold, When I went off to work it was chilly; So a small wooly coat will you knit I think what he wants is a glove Is what you'll require to fit There was a young lady named Kotter The dong of the Dean of McGill, (To give the most frigid a thrill.")
A fantastic young Prince of Sirocco, (I can prove God is not a woman - McW)
For screwing, a fellow of Leeds The prick of a young man of Kew, If you get a ring through your cock, Young Olivia found a new suitor, The Vizier of Stamboul, a Turk, There once was a guy from Tajik, There was a young hayseed from Tiffan, The cock of a fellow named Randall, A beautiful lady named Psyche While they dined at the Waldorf, McGill There was an Old Person of Tring, There was a young fellow named Chick, While crossing the street, Mr. Decker Whipped cream is okay, so is butter, I met an exotic Walloon When Tom looks down at his tattoo, A queer mate from Out-back Australia I must say I got a bit flustered, At his wedding a young man named Bing A husband who lived in Tiberias (published 1967, before Bobbitry became popular)
A woman should not have to share 'Cause women are known to be vicious, Does Loreena B. ring a bell? A gal can become cold and callous, When the dick that she sliced from the lug I often reflect about John Bobbit; There once was a man from Manassas, Sweet Lorena did not use precision, When the dick that she sliced from the lug, The legend of Bobbitt is growing. Now, ladies, you needn't be coy. It's not sinful to hit a few bars John Bobbitt did love his beer. A penisectomy shouted with glee, There once was a woman named Bobbitt, Eventually the judge got a jury; John Bobbitt's detractors will scoff, Lorena reacted quite bitterly
Who pissed one night in the park.
But the cops caught the peasant;
His dong was fluorescent,
And glowed like a torch in the dark.
--- G0399
Who possessed an unusual organ.
The end of his dong,
Which was nine inches long,
Was tipped with the head of a gorgon.
--- L0199
Whose pecker had sprouted some wings.
When there blew a slight breeze
It would take off with ease
And go off on a lark and such things.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0503
Who else but Angels would append
On each new born boy
His greatest source of joy,
And put a halo at the end.
--- Irving Superior P8601
Whose pecker was covered with fur.
He delighted to stroke it,
To pat it and poke it,
For the pleasure of hearing it purr.
--- G2152
Had the oddest dork every seen:
It sparkled at night
Like the light of a sprite,
And after the ream turned to green.
--- G0975
A Roman girl, who was peachy,
Now the juice from her hole
Has dried on my pole,
And Man! That sucker is eetchy.
--- John Chastaine
Makes penis a tool incorrect.
To stop ring slipping,
Requires much lipping,
To help keep the durn thing erect!
--- Chris Papa
Who encircled his cock with lifesavers.
Though homos all claimed,
Their asses were maimed,
Sixty-niners all cheered the new flavors.
--- G0930
Had eyes of a heavenly blue.
The end of his dilly
Was shaped like a lily,
And his balls were too utterly two!
--- L0177
With a member shaped like a rocket,
Seeks female with a rear
Built like the space station Mir,
And a port into which he can dock it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose whang-bone was lacking in marrow.
To accomplish a rape,
He wound it in tape,
And feathered the shaft like an arrow.
--- L1372
Who wanted to paint Jason's dicky.
But the strokes, smooth and light,
Really did him excite,
And he finished and made her all sticky.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has a clever design on his dork:
When he gives it a feel
It expands to reveal
And excellent map of New York.
--- Chuck Davis P9408
Who found a red mark on his prick.
He got such a shock,
He went to the doc,
Who said it was only lipstick.
--- Anon
"Doctor, please help if you're able!"
"There's no sore or decay--
How to you spend your day?"
"I eat Cheetos and watch the porn cable!"
--- Doug from Upland T9707A
Who painted his screw a light blue.
Whe he finished the work,
He said with a smirk,
"Now I've got a reply to 'What's NEW?'!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 434
His prick was as black as a crow,
So he painted it white
But it didn't look right,
For young Joe was a Negro, you know.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0493
Once announced to his genital varia,
"I have knitted this red
Woolly snood for the head,
With a pocket for each of the pairia."
--- Keith MacMillan 53a
On wool that's unwanted, try knitting
A warmer for willy
(It's turning quite chilly).
I'm free any time for a fitting.
--- Peter Wilkins
Why don't you try something more bold?
If she's got warm hands,
And mammary glands,
You have something that she can hold.
--- Marty
The temperature shriveled my willy.
I can't take the chance
With your hand down my pants
When I work -- it's illegal and silly.
--- Peter Wilkins
For my willy? I think it will fit.
If you shut your eyes tight
And imagine it. Right?
And account for expansion a bit.
--- Peter Wilkins
To cover his "muscle of love".
I'd knit little fingers,
So the feeling lingers';
Such warm gloves are not unheard of.
--- Marty
A warm coat for your willy bit?
Then what I would do
Is rib-knit for you
A pattern that's one purl, one knit.
--- Marty
Whose boyfriend grew hotter and hotter.
He covered his root
With tropical fruit,
And slipped her his Penis-Colada.
--- Michael Weinstein P8601
Was adorned with a porcupine quill.
"It looks odd," he agreed,
"But the thing's guaranteed
To provide an additional thrill."
--- G0391
Had erotical penchants roccoco.
The prick of this Prince
Was flavored with quince,
And he seasoned his semen with cocoa.
--- L1537
No jelly could find for his needs.
So he said, "Well, by damn,
I'll try raspberry jam."
And his foreskin got jammed with the seeds.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0516
Showed veins that were azure of hue.
Its head was quite red
So he waved it and said,
"Three cheers for the red, white, and blue."
--- L1455
You will probably receive a rude shock.
It will get pus'sy and hairy,
And might look quite scary,
So cover it up with a sock.
--- Thunderwing
Who admired the rings on her hooter.
The boys name was Rick,
With propellor on dick;
She called him her own Roto-Rooter.
--- Puff Adder a
Had an emerald hilt on his dirk.
But his dong set with rubies
Drove crazy the pubes
Of ladies who lightened his work.
--- L1550
This is file scl
Who loved to be wearing lipstick.
It was not so bad
Until this poor lad
Began painting smiles on his dick.
--- Marlene
Whose cock would constantly stiffen.
This knob out in front,
Attracted foul cunt
Which he greatly delighted in sniffin'.
--- L0247
Shot sparks like a big Roman candle.
He was much in demand,
For the colors were grand,
But the girls found him too hot to handle.
--- L1521
Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
One thing about Ike
The lady can't like
Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
--- L0220
Planned his conquest with cunning and skill.
He unzipped, wrapped a ten
Round his manhood, and then
Told his date she'd be stuck with the bill!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who embellished his thing with a ring;
He howled at the moon
Every evening in June --
The result of new growth in the spring.
--- Edwardian Leer 104
Who fancied himself rather slick.
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all,
But a big velvet bow 'round his prick.
--- L1387
Was struck by a fast-moving wrecker.
Though his face was all fuzz
They could tell who he was
By the wart on the end of his pecker.
--- Albin Chaplin 3-24-2011
If you're smearing it over your putter.
You don't have to heat it
If she's going to eat it,
Or are you planning new ways to rut her?
--- S C Saint
Whose penis he loved to festoon
With musical notes,
Poetical quotes,
And a beautiful bright red balloon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He'll either see a smudge of blue
Or else there will appear
Those seven numbers clear
Then telephone his girlfriend, Sue.
--- Irving Superior P8601
Was obsessed by his own genitalia;
He would let it hang out
As he went Walk-About,
With a prick boutonniere of azalea.
--- Ann Gasser P8909
when Tom stuck his dick in the custard.
He grumpily said,
"You won't come to bed,
So I'm sitting here, fucking disgustered."
--- Michael Horgan
Was arrested for flashing his thing.
But the judge understands,
That poor Bing has no hands,
So where else could he wear the ring?
--- Phil T
Once laughed himself nearly delirious.
But he laughed at his wife,
Who took a sharp knife
With results that were quite deleterious.
--- W S Baring-Gold
Her man with a cow or a mare.
'Cause girls love their fellas
And sometimes get jealous
And then, boys, you better beware!
--- Observer
Then they will get mad and malicious,
And while you are sleeping,
They'll softly come creeping,
And do things, to you, quite pernicious!
--- Observer
A name that all men should know well!
An ill-treated wife
Who wielded a knife,
And thus, errant actions did quell.
--- Observer
Heart filled with resentment and malice,
And you'll wake up some day,
Find that she's gone away
To live with her momma in Dallas.
--- Observer
Was thrown from her car with an 'ugh',
Said a monk to a nun
On whose windshield it spun,
"Did you notice the cock on that bug?"
--- Anon
He'd not listen when she said to stop it.
With one sharp knife,
She changed his life.
Wonder what he thought after she chopped it?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who was fond of sleeping with lasses.
His wife had enough,
So she chopped off his stuff.
Now let's see him try to make passes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The darkness, she said, hindered vision.
She jumped on the divan
And gave husband John,
An un-volunteered circumcision.
--- Kevin Theis
Was thrown from her car with an 'ugh',
Said a monk to a nun
On whose windshield it spun,
"Did you notice the cock on that bug?"
--- Hugh Clary
It's a story well worth the knowing.
He offended his wife,
So she took up her knife,
And put an end to his coming and going.
--- Larry Meekma
Since Lorena lobbed off her boy's toy,
The news made it popular,
To name the tool copular;
It's a household word now to enjoy.
--- Anon
And to drink beer 'til the pre-dawn hours,
But he lurched to his bed
With sheer lust in his head.
When he meets a new gal, now he cowers.
--- Harold
And then he went home with a leer.
He grabbed his wife,
There was some strife,
And then she cut off all his gear!
--- VOL 7
To the news of John's severed PeePee.
He would not be alone,
Wishing he had a bone,
For another was Dickless as he.
--- Anon
Whose husband had an abusive habit.
"He is such a meanie,
I'll cut off his weenie,
Then drive down the road and just lob it."
--- VOL 7
When Loreena was found near Missouri,
Police found John's member,
In a field near some timber,
And doctors said, John, we can cure thee!"
--- VOL 3
For it seems the judgments's been soft.
He's been retrofitted
And now he's acquitted.
That's the last time he ever gets off.
--- Anon
When John failed to service her clitorally.
Though he got a reprieve,
When his tool was retrieved,
When John jerks off now, it is literally.
--- VOL 10 a
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