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There was an old lady from Philly
Who thought the whole thing was quite silly.
Pity Nan and her dad,
'Cause the tout, quite the cad,
Bet the bucket on a slow filly!
--- Pat Karnosh P0209

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who went by the surname of Puckett.
While furling a sail,
He tripped on a pail,
And drowned from kicking the bucket.
--- Douglas Ames P0209

Such a fuss over Nan, Paw and Gold!
There's no magic in money, I'm told.
But I'd like some to try...
A nice cutter I'd buy
And sail there before I'm too old!
--- Gail Hunter P0209

At a reunion years later in Pawtucket,
Paw forgave Nan (but hid his bucket)
He said "Twasn't my Nan,
She was duped by that man,
Who's now doing time in Nantucket."
--- Ken Wood P0209z

While the bucket was stashed in Alaska,
It was found by a man named Prochaska.
He said with a grin,
"I know it's a sin,
But I'll hide it in Lincoln, Nebraska."
--- Richard Amos P0209

When he took the bucket to Lincoln,
Prochaska then started to thinkin'.
Perhaps I'll call Nan
And I'll be her new man,
And with her now I will be linkin'.
--- Richard Amos P0209

Now Paw was back in Nantucket,
Wondering where in the heck was his bucket.
He tried to call Nan
But instead got a man
From the FBI office in Pawtucket.
--- Richard Amos P0209

Oh, Jonny Boy, we've been quite lucky,
To steer ourselves clear of Nantucky,
Where women get rowdy
When drunk and say "Howdy,
You assholes! You wanna go fucky?"
--- Anon

If I spun a yarn of Nantucket,
I know that some fool would just muck it,
By adding opinions
From foolisher minions,
Whose grammar ain't worth a damn ducat.
--- Anon

There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Whose clit was so big she could suck it.
She said with a grin,
"No guy can get in,
They try, and they all kick the bucket!"
--- John Miller z

A rather riled man from Nantucket
One day flipped his lid and yelled, "Fuck it!"
The odes are all wrong,
My knob's not that long,
And my loot's in a bank not a bucket.
--- Jarmo

There once was a singer who stuck it
In all of the twats of Pawtucket.
Every time that he sang
He got paid in poon TANG --
So long as he rhymed with Nantucket!
--- Anon

That man from Nantucket, much scorned; he
Hired a press agent and attorney
To clear his reputation
For self-gratification --
He was sorely priapic, not horny!
--- Philip Welsh

Would that be old Dave from Nantucket
Who kept a dead whore in a bucket?
When he wished to savour
Her putrescent flavour,
He'd dip in his dick and then suck it.
--- Anon z

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who if something moved, he would fuck it.
He had Jack and Jill,
Which gave him a thrill,
Not to mention his tryst with Miss Muffet.
--- Anon

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose head was shaped like a bucket.
As a child, goes the tale,
He fell in a pail
And it took them a week to unstuck it.
--- MrMalo

There once was a girl from Nantucket;
When she saw a dick she would suck it.
In joyous paroxysm
She'd swallow the jism
And never once ever upchuck it.
--- Anon z

There was an old man from Peru
Who lived in a bucket of goo.
But that chick from Nantucket
Stole the poor guy's bucket,
So now he is after her too.
--- Nik Synytskyy

Said a stubborn old man of Nantucket,
When arrested for stealing a bucket:
"'Twarn't stolen from Nan
And her larcenous man;
It was mine, so I simply re-tuck it."
--- Cyber Geezer

I yearn to return to Nantucket
Where whores pump my dick for a ducat.
Until my hot come,
For that tidy sum,
Brims over a ten gallon bucket.
--- Travis

I'd like to go visit Nantucket,
Find me a big dick and I'd suck it,
'Til it was bone dry,
Then I'd say goodbye,
Toss it in a bucket and chuck it.
--- Carol

Now that wasn't me in Nantucket,
You chewed off and tossed in a bucket.
It must have been Frank,
As you dream-chewed his crank?
Or Tiddy? Pete? Travis? You sluck it?
--- Gearhart

I'd carry my dick to Nantucket,
So Carol could kneel down and suck it.
But since it's so big,
An eighteen-wheeled rig
Is needed in order to truck it.
--- Travis

My wife is an ugly old bag
Who does nothing but argue and nag.
So I went to Nantucket
And borrowed Dave's bucket
Of whores for a bloody good shag.
--- Peter Wilkins

Yes let's all away to Nantucket
To buy some cheap beer and then chug it
Perhaps then each verse
We write will get worse
But somewhere we might find a nugget
--- Anon

Each May I go off to Nantucket,
Seek out a fresh flower and pluck it.
One year brought it home
In a vase made of chrome;
Once there, on the mantle I stuck it.
--- Anon

A whale - tired of life - from Nantucket -
As for hunting, it tried just its luck; it
Just waved its long dong
When the ships came along.
And success! It now lives in a bucket...
--- Anon

There once was a dentist Pierre,
Who was drilling a girl in the chair.
Said the girl, "Stop your drilling,
Wrong cavity you're filling!"
Said Pierre, still drilling, "C'est la guerre!"
--- Anon

There was a kind Christian of Crewe
Granting favors beyond her man's view.
At the sound of his humming,
She panicked -- "He's coming!"
"Don't stop," begged the vicar, "Me too!"
--- David A Brooks

Young Tom and Sweet Rosalee
Were screwing on the front porch settee.
She heard footsteps drumming
And cried "Someone's coming!"
"Yes," he exclaimed "and it's me!"
--- Bob Aldrich P0512Q

There was a plumber from Wheeling
Who was plumbing with passion and feeling.
"Do you like it?" he pled.
"Not really," she said,
"But I like the designs on the ceiling."
--- James M Menger P9311

A fat female plumber from Leigh
Was plumbing a lad by the sea.
When he said, "Someone's coming,"
She answered, still plumbing,
"I'll try to bend over and see."
--- Martin Wellborn P9311

Il y avait un plombier, Francois,
Qui plombait sa femme dans le Bois.
Dit-elle, "Arretez!
J'entends quelqu'un venait."
Dit le plombier, en plombant, "C'est moi."
--- L0061N

This is file sbm

There was a young plumber from Pau
Was plumbing a maid in the bois.
Said the maid, "Cease your plumbing,
There's somebody coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "C'est moi".
--- Anon N

A short-peckered plumber named Heep
Plumbed a maid in the back of a jeep.
"Are you coming?" he cried.
"Not a chance," she replied,
"I had almost fallen asleep."
--- James M Menger P9311

A classical plumber, Ben Hur,
Plumbed a girl on a rug made of fur.
He heard someone coming,
But kept right on plumbing.
He figured, "It's probably her."
--- James M Menger P9311

A homosexual plumber named Jim
Plumbed his lover in a corridor dim.
Said the lover, "Keep plumbing,
I think that I'm coming."
Jim sighed; he wished it were him.
--- James M Menger P9311

A poorly endowed plumber named Pym,
Swapped wives with a friend on a whim.
Asked Pym, while plumbing,
"Is anyone coming?"
"If there is," said his partner, "it's them."
--- James M Menger P9311

There once was a plumber named Gus,
Who plumbed a young girl on a bus.
Said she, "Stop your plumbing,
I hear people coming."
Said the plumber, "Perhaps it is us."
--- James M Menger P9311

And, of course, there's the old plumber who
Was plumbing a lady named Lou.
"Get out of my bed,
Someone's coming," she said.
"Relax," said the plumber, "It's you."
--- James M Menger P9311

Es giebt ein Arbeiter von Tinz,
Er schlaft mit ein Madel von Linz.
Sie sagt, "Halt sein' plummen,
Ich hore Mann kommen."
"Jacht, jacht," sagt der Plummer, "Ich binz."
--- L0062N

A plumber was plumbing Miss Schule.
She said, "Stop your plumbing, you fool.
It's a waste of good plumbing
For you'll not be coming.
I'm afraid you've forgotten your tool."
--- Phil Cannibal P9303

"Stop plumbing," she shouted but he
Said, "If anyone's coming, it's me."
Yet since there stood her dad
With a shotgun, the lad
Now's a married young plumber of Leigh.
--- A N Wilkins P8507

An educated plumber from Rye
Plumbed the same girl on the sly.
Said the girl, "Hold it dear,
Someone's coming, I fear."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "'Tis I."
--- James M Menger P9311

A plumber plumbed a lady named Cyd,
Who was fearful of having a kid.
"While plumbing," said she,
"Don't come inside me."
Said the plumber, "Too late. I just did."
--- James M Menger P9311

A proper young plumber of Leigh,
When called by a babe fine to see,
Fixed the leaking post haste
With deportment most chaste,
But he charged an exorbitant fee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
But when it cantilevered,
His nuts were both severed,
So now he's an opera queen.
--- MrMalo

There once was a man from Racine,
Whose voice was remarkably clean.
He could reach a top 'C'
Whilst having a pee,
Perched sideways atop a ravine.
--- John Miller

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a blowjob machine.
An animatronica
Version of Monica;
The President bought seventeen.
--- MrMalo

Il y avait un jeune homme de Boyer
Qui fabrique une machine a futoyer.
Concave ou convexe,
Pour plaire aux deux sexes,
Et extremeement simple a nettoyer.
--- Anon N

Homo ingenius Racina
Coitus invenit machina.
Adapta convexus
Utrosque pro sexus
Dispendit cum omne vagina.
--- Anon N

The wife of the man from Racine
Ran off with his fucking machine.
She also had sex
With a robot named Rex --
The hardest damn hardon she'd seen.

(And her husband has become a has been.)
--- Neal Wilgus P8211

And the hammer he called his ballpeen.
He was copper and turned her twat green.
He jabbed her and ruptured her spleen.
A real dog, if you know what I mean.

--- Neal Wilgus P8211

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine;
With suction pump gizmo
For collection of jizmo,
It's designed to keep carpets clean.
--- MrMalo

There once was a young man from Kent
Who had one so long that it bent,
By that fucking machine
That the man from Racine
For amusement had filled with cement.
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
It had fuel injection
And azimuth correction
And when finished played "God Save The Queen!"
--- MrMalo

There once was a man from Racine,
Who invented a fucking machine
With hydraulic rams
And dual overhead cams;
He died when it ruptured his spleen.
--- MrMalo

A very large girl called Nadine,
Who was also from dear old Racine,
Her butt was so chubby,
She could not find a hubby,
So she used the famous fucking machine.
--- Popsicle TP9807

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
It suited all gender,
Straight, queer, or bender,
And came complete with some Vaseline.
--- Bob Hunt

There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
He made it of wood
Which wasn't too good,
'Cause the splinters played hell with your spleen.
--- MrMalo

A modern inventor named Gene
Improved on that fucking machine.
It goes French or Greek
And won't even squeak
As long as you use Vaseline.
--- David Miller

While Titian was mixing Burnt Umber
His model slipped off into slumber
The position, to Titian
Suggested coition
So he stealthily started to plumb her.
--- John E Mayhood

While Titian mixed Cadmium Yellow
His model was playing the cello
The position, to Titian
Suggested coition --
Pizzicato reduced her to Jello!
--- John E Mayhood

While Titian mixed up Crimson Lake
His model was baking a cake
Her position, to Titian
Suggested coition --
He put buns in her oven, the rake!
--- John E Mayhood

While Titian was mixing French Blue
His model was tying her shoe
The position, to Titian
Suggested coition
A posteriori, she knew.
--- John E Mayhood

While Titian was relieving his bladder,
His miffed model, posed nude on a ladder.
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition,
But his jump on her bones made Rose madder.
--- Arthur Deex P2005

While Titian was mixing Mars Red
His model was scratching her head.
The position, to Titian
Suggested coition
But then everything did, so it's said.
--- John E Mayhood


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