In John's bedroom, two ladies did mob it,
Then proceeded with snatches to swab it.
His dear wife, unaware,
Yelled, "Is anyone there?"
And she swears that she heard him say, "Bobbit".
--- Al Chaplin P9403

This story is just so much flotsam,
Appealing to those who are rotten.
I know that don't rhyme
But I don't have the time.
As a journalist, you have hit bottom.
--- Anon

"My prowess," said John, "You can't match it.
My tool (and I don't mean a ratchet),
Made the ladies so glad,
But Lorena got mad.
I hope that they can reattach it."
--- Chris Rindos

That surgery done by Ms Bobbitt
Involved both the shaft and the nob. It
Was for him a big loss
And it made her quite cross;
She'd only intended to bob it.
--- Norm

Big John Bobbit might have been hipper,
Had he kept his hot hands from his zipper.
But to his wifey's dismay,
Big John leaped to the fray,
The results would have pleased Jack the Ripper.
--- Anon

At the hospital, we find poor John;
Says a doc, who we'll call Dr. Vaughn;
"The way that we figure,
Your penis will be bigger,
But you must keep the Band-Aids on.
--- VOL 3

John Bobbitt was a bit too cocky,
And his marriage grew ever more rocky.
Now it's true, I swear,
That in terms of underwear,
He wears stitches, not boxers or jockeys.
--- Peter Kendall

There once was a guy named Brock,
Whose wife had lopped off his cock.
He had angered his bride,
So it's in formaldehyde,
And now Brock keeps his cock under lock.
--- Anon

His technique, Oh Boy!, it was brutal!
To retrain him, she knew, would be futile.
So she aimed for the tip,
But the blade it did slip,
And cut off the whole kit and caboodle.
--- A H

Miss Bobbit once got pretty sick
And the driver said "get out" real quick;
Pushed her straight out the door
For there on the floor,
Was the remains of a rather large prick.
--- Michelle

There once was a place in Virginia,
Where a gal snipped it off like a zinnia.
She whipped back the sheets,
Ignored his sad bleats,
And attacked like a professional ninja.
--- Anon

There once was a cheater named Bobbitt.
His wife said, "His manhood, I'll rob it.
I'll get a sharp knife,
And end his sex life,
And into the bushes, I'll lob it."
--- Chris Rindos

There once was a lady named Bobbitt,
Whose hubby just wasn't a HOBBIT;
She snipped off his "thing"
And in a car, took wing,
Looking for land fill to lob it.
--- Chris Papa

Oh Lorena Bobbit, just look
At the unrest in connubial nook,
Since you first cut short
Your offending sport,
And escaped the law's mighty hook.
--- Chris Papa

There once was a lady named Bobbitt,
Who got so fed up that she lopped it.
She said, "I'm sorry , honey,
But your conduct's not funny,"
And she very efficiently stopped it.
--- Anon

A young man from Virtualand,
Traded life for a gold wedding band.
He signed onto the net;
His betrothed got upset,
And she lopped off his link @ the &.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Big John was a lad of great lust;
Had a wife who was filled with distrust.
One night while he slept,
With a knife, in she crept.
As a lover Big John's now a bust.
--- Anon

Said John Bobbitt, "I'm still a bit miffed,
And my spirit could do with a lift.
I just go, do not come,
A transplant might help some.
I'm one victim who'd love to be stiffed!"
--- Ann Gasser P9503

Mrs Bobbit tried circumcision
On her man while he watched television.
Then he saw Sharon Stone
And extended his bone,
Thus - a misdirected incision.
--- Anon

When drinking in full regalia,
Sometimes your memory will fail ya',
But John B. woke up thinking
I must have been drinking,
I have misplaced my genetalia.
--- Anon

I'll admit that I wasn't too keen
About dwelling on a topic so mean,
But do I really hafta
Write about NAFTA,
When the nation's obsessed by John's wein?

(NAFTA - North American Free Trade Agreement)
--- Anon

There once was a gal named Lorena,
Whose husband grew meaner and meaner.
She said, "Now John Wayne,
You're causing me pain,
Perhaps you'll be nicer when leaner."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I once met a girl named November;
Under her skirt was a member!
So rather than scoff,
I chopped the dick off
And gave her a night to remember!
--- Gooch

There once was a laddie named Alastair,
Who liked to slide down the bannister.
When his crotch hit a sliver,
It turned him a-quiver,
And he shrieked to the world, "It's no longer there!"
--- Anon

No small wonder that it came to pass,
When he spied the knife held by his lass.
He screamed, "No, don't bob it!"
Though she heard him sob it,
She knew guys say NO when they mean YES.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9402

The saddest thing I've ever seenith:
That fellow who lost half his penith;
His wife tried to bob it
As short as a hobbit,
And now the jerk can't reach his ZENITH.
--- Gary Hallock

There once was a Bobbitt named John,
Who thought he was quite the Don Juan.
His wife disagreed
So the next time he peed,
John couldn't locate his wand.
--- Anon

The surgeon was filled with great tension,
Trying to sew on a thing we can't mention.
He stitched and he sewed,
Using all that he know'd,
But the wee thing won't stand at attention.
--- VOL 7

Now you know that it had to sting,
But no curses did poor Johnny sing.
He was quite relaxed
When his manhood was axed.
Guess it wasn't that big of a thing.
--- Peter Kendall

"Disposable condoms? No me!"
Said John Bobbitt, all melancholy.
"I don't need them no more
Since Loreena, the whore,
Made a damn eunuch of me!
--- Jeeves T9801

Have you heard of the outrage so heinous,
That it brought bitter tears to Dame Venus.
But 'twas neither the knife,
Nor the knave, nor the wife,
But the wags who were really obscenest.
--- Anon

Big John B. was a creep, don't ya' know,
Whose wife gave him a horrible blow.
Now the people he meets
As he walks down the streets
Say, "John Bobbitt? That old sew-and-sew!"
--- Kevin Theis

Mrs Bobbitt reached under the sheet
For John's poor tired little Pete.
But when he looked there
He saw only hair,
For now it lay out in the street!
--- Anon

This is file sbl

John Bobbitt was never a loner.
In fact, he was known as a roamer.
His wife seized his prize,
And cut him to size.
Now he is his own organ donor.
--- Anon

Let her name be preserved under lacquer.
When her husband presumed to attack her,
An over-achiever,
She reached for a cleaver
And proceeded to whack off his whacker.
--- Laurence Perrine P9403

My brain has gone into a whirl;
I feel like a giddy young girl.
I'm pretty, I think --
I feel in the pink
Because Charlie called me his pearl.
--- Anon

Found out Pearl's the name of his wife!
If that damn fool values his life,
He won't come near me,
Unless he can see
That I am not holding a knife.
--- Anon

I'd cut off his balls with one slice,
But then I would be extra nice.
Fry them in a pan,
To feed that fool man,
Fresh gravy and balls over lice.
--- Anon

There once was a crime most venal,
One might say 'twas inches from renal.
It wasn't for sport
That she made him so short.
Her intentions were nothing but penal.
--- Anon

Said Lorena, "'Twas not disaffection
Why I sliced off my husband's erection.
It was truly a prize
And I needed that size
For completing my penis collection."
--- Albin Chaplin P9403

Poor John awoke early one day;
And found much to his dismay,
His wife had departed,
And he was broken-hearted,
For his penis had also gone away.
--- VOL 3

When it comes to such marital strife,
The victim's not always the wife.
Just think of Lorena,
That vengeful Latina,
And her fine penisectimal knife.
--- DC Dave

There once was a man from Hong Kong,
Who liked to show women his dong.
But along came Ms. Bobbit,
Who just wouldn't have it,
And now his poor dong is long gone.
--- M D McFarland

"This case" said the cops, "sure does pickle us.
Searching for this man's thing does not tickle us.
It was somewhere around here
That she threw this man's gear,
But to us the whole thing is ree-dick-alus."
--- Kevin Theis

Lorena wished John could be nicer,
But he wasn't much of a de-icer.
If she finds a new spouse,
Let us hope he's no louse,
Or we might have our first serial slicer.
--- Anon

Mrs Bobbitt should not get away,
With castrating poor John while he lay!
So here's my advice:
She should pay him a price
And consider it 'severance pay'.
--- Leonard Hall

John was rough when he fucked it;
He grabbed his wifes hair as she sucked it.
Lorraine said, "Let go!
He replied, "Just blow!"
So she bit the thing off and she chucked it!
--- Coxwell

There once was a woman named Bobbitt,
Who husband was violent. To stop it,
She cut off his dick,
Now she's in the nick,
And it is most likely she'll cop it.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A fellow named John went out drinking,
When he finally got home he was thinking,
He would give his sweet wife
The big thrill of her life.
The means to this end was soon shrinking.
--- Harold

They're making plans in movie-land,
For a film about Lorena's sleight-of-hand.
Whether it's funny or sad,
One thing makes me glad:
I don't have to be Bobbitt's stunt man.
--- George

As the heat of publicity cools,
John Wayne Bobbitt is following rules
For transfroming his pain
Into capital gain.
He's helping to sell Snap-On-Tools.
--- A N Wilkins P9404

A much-abused lady named Bobbitt
Said unto her husband, please stop it,
Or I'll draw my stiletto
And chop down your palmetto,
And just see how far I can lob it.
--- Jim Schaefer

There was a young man and his wife,
Who argued throughout their whole life.
But the problem solver
Was not a revolver,
Hence the story of Loreena and knife.
--- VOL 3

There once was a very young Hobbit
Who'd take her wee hot dog and lob it
Across the front lawn,
Then lie back and yawn,
And whisper, "I played Mrs Bobbitt."
--- Travis Brasell

Lorena, the devious meany,
Suspected her man had a 'queenie'.
In a moment of strife,
She picked up a knife
And cut off all poor Johnny's weenie.
--- Gifford Wherry

It seems that Lorena had raised
The sheet on John Bobbitt and praised
What she sucked on for years,
Then she cropped it with shears,
For she wanted to sample it braised.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9403

The Bobbit case sure is a dilly,
Though it sounds a little bit silly.
He said she's the hacker
Who lopped off his whacker.
She said she was only trying to 'Free Willy'.

(Free Willy - a Bambi-type 1992 movie about whales)
--- Anon

She sought out his manhood and robbed it,
Then from the car window, she lobbed it!
For she'd pledged to the stiff
At the height of their tiff,
That when his john waned, she would bob it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young pervert named Hicks,
Who pounded his penis with bricks;
A fellow named Utne
Dipped his in hot chutney;
The things today's youth do for kicks!
--- Armand Singer

There was an old man from Dundalk,
Who had something wrong with his stalk.
The women said, "Pat,
You should get it looked at.
It's affecting the way that you walk!"
--- Ivor Robert Jones

Depth perception on eyes is so hard,
A young man must be on his guard.
When distracted by bits
Of humongous size tits,
When he closes his movie placard.
--- Anon

There once was a man from Tralee
Who stopped on the road for a pee.
He made a mistake,
Prolonging the shape,
Because he was stung by a bee.
--- SFA

His girlfriend said, "That's a sore point.
You'd better bring here that sore joint.
It'll be no surprise,
To find 'twist my thighs
Some juices with which to anoint."
--- Tiddy Ogg

Once in, it continued to swell;
The girlfriend reacted as well.
The two locked up tight
Until the next night,
And peeing, they found was pure hell.
--- John Miller

An inflated young husband from Hurst
Once erected himself till he burst.
And although it was plain
That he suffered much pain,
It was reckoned his wife came off worst.
--- Hugh Oliver A114B

There once was a Mick named Pete,
Whose penis did smell like his feet.
He pulled back the skin;
What he saw was a sin:
Cheese growing faster than wheat!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Hey, Gearhart my mouth isn't green;
It's always minty fresh and clean,
Unlike that cheese dick,
You've got; it makes me sick.
It smells like some old lima bean.
--- Anon