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He ordered his men, "You must kneel
To hear how the chariot wheel
Makes a murmuring sound,
As it runs on the ground,
And makes those bells jingle and peal."
--- Matthew Montchalin

Moreover, he said his machine
Made pictures that looked like a scene
From a puppetry show,
In the pools found below
That dome to his garden so green.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Quite cryptically, crossed and recrossed,
It glittered in waters embossed.
He watched how it waved
With symbols engraved,
Which vanished whenever waves tossed.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Slashed strokes upon strokes saying "War,"
They covered Alph's waters and more.
They warned how it came
Preceding its fame,
And how its wheels whistled and roared.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Crossed characters crying out war,
They threatened sweet Alph with red gore;
Declaring the claim
That Kublai's to blame,
And crooked, corrupt to the core.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And under the fountain that fed
The pools where the warnings were said,
The waters were clear,
But turning a gear,
Into ice they were hardened instead.
--- Matthew Montchalin

The Garden of Khan was so great
That the dome on the pools tempted fate,
And under the pools
Were caves full of jewels,
And glittering ice lakes ornate.
--- Matthew Montchalin

For the formations were ice that had flowed
For ages, and so they were old,
In twisted curved shapes,
Like blankets and capes,
Or figures withdrawn from a mold.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And on the Khan's dome the sun blazed,
And near it great cedars were raised.
And flowers did blush,
The winds made to hush,
And sentries stood stand where they're placed.
--- Matthew Montchalin

I heard then a damsel that played
A harp or a lyre, and she swayed,
Enchanting my vision
With every rendition,
And singing things heavenly made.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Of swarthy east African hue,
A damsel whose singing was true,
She sang of the place,
With remarkable grace,
Where up on Mount Bora she grew.
--- Matthew Montchalin

That maid, Abyssinian sweet,
With beautiful ivory white teeth,
Her fingers played strings,
Made music for kings,
A symphony, stirring, complete.
--- Matthew Montchalin

The note of that harp seemed to fill
My heart like a cup that might spill,
Just thinking of that,
I collapsed and then sat,
And swooned as though under a spell.
--- Matthew Montchalin

If only I somehow could know
The notes of that song, and its flow.
I'd lay out the score
And then I'd restore
The dome of the Kublai Khan, so.
--- Matthew Montchalin

That all could behold it and see
The way it did hang over me,
Suspended on strings,
Bright musical things,
His pleasure dome, bright as could be.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And the ice caves that glittered just under,
Resounding with musical thunder,
The chords of her song,
Swelled up and along,
Inspiring both awe and great wonder.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And seeing, how could they help sighing,
"Behold it, behold what he's trying,
How Kublai, he brings
His garden, his springs,
His birds which sang sweetly when flying!"
--- Matthew Montchalin

And seeing it, all would be crying,
"Beware of it! Watch how its flying!
How Kublai did wink,
This too makes you think
About the great risks of defying!"
--- Matthew Montchalin

His greatness is there in the air.
His nobleness, favor, and flare,
He goes with his dome;
You'll see what is shown,
And see his bright eyes and straight hair.
--- Matthew Montchalin

A pentacle, circle it thrice,
To keep him kept in, and his eyes,
And his dome and his battles,
His soldiers and saddles,
His glittering caverns of ice!
--- Matthew Montchalin

Turn away from his dome and his eyes!
In case you should think you're as wise
As he who did feed
On honey=sweet mead,
Or who built for himself paradise.
--- Matthew Montchalin

In Xanadu girls dance, in lant-
ern Light, making most fellers pant.
But though they dance naxid,
Khan's member stays flaccid;
I guess you could say Kubla Khan't.
--- Anon

Kublai Khan once complained to his men,
"I eat a huge banquet and then
In an hour or so,
I feel just as though
I were actually hungry again."
--- A N Wilkins P9212

Though it's been over-long in gestation,
Here at last is the manifestation,
Of the great Kublai Khan,
And his huge pleasure barn,
That he built near to Charing Cross Station.
--- Tiddy Ogg

In that mystical place, Xanadu,
Kublai Khan built a house built for two,
Or three thousand or more,
And filled it with whores,
Girlie shows and movies so blue.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So the Khan and his men had such fun,
(Kublai's favorite was dressed as a nun.)
They were fucking away
For many a day,
Till the floors ran with whiskey and come.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Then the cry came: "Beware! Mongol hordes!"
So they ran, barring windows and doors.
Said the Khan: "Lads, be bold!
Give them jewels and gold,
But they ain't getting hold of these whores."
--- Tiddy Ogg

But a horseman, they knew as old Alph,
Was shit-scared and feared for his health.
Out the back gate he rode,
In the Mongol Horde strode,
And old Kublai was routed -- not half.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So poor Kublai Khan was no more.
The barbarians had orgies galore.
But Xanadian girls
Can go many whirls,
And the warriors were soon on the floor.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And their fame still endures to this day.
So if you go down Charing Cross way,
And there ask a flozie:
"Wanna Xanadusie?"
I'm surprised if the hussy says nay.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Well, here I must end my oration;
My nurse is here with medication.
And if she wants a screw,
I'm sure I can do
My stuff with some more Viagration.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now this is Nurse Emma to tell
You that crazy old fool's shot to hell.
You can take it from me,
That his impotency,
Would need splints and a cast there as well.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The addled old fool's little song
Confuses Khan with Mendelson's
Millenium dome,
Thus the site for this poem,
Is a few thousand miles distant wrong.
--- Tiddy Ogg

This is file rzm

A Xanadu girl was quite blunt,
Said she, "I'll perform a great stunt:
I'll fuck Khan's great member,
From March to December:
I'll do it with my Kubla Khunt!
--- Anon

Where would philanthropist Carnegie
Be in a modern day library?
He'd be greatly amazed,
Or to say the least, phased,
And would ask, "Just what's a DVD?"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0302

When his wife said, "Ben, go fly a kite,"
He said "Franklin, my dear, I just might."
But a bolt from the sky
Zapped this well-grounded guy,
Which is why we have light, now, at night.
--- Larry Hollister

Betsy Ross remarked, "As to that flag,
It's said I made it just to brag.
No, George forced his design
On me; tossed out mine.
All in all, the whole thing's been a drag."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310

Alarmed by what tea was now costin',
The colonial people of Boston
Harbored anger so deep
Over taxes too steep,
That the harbor was where it was tossed in.
--- Larry Hollister

Daniel Boone was asked, "Dan, do you mind
If we claim you a treasure, a find?"
Dan replied, "No, that's true
And what's more, I'll tell you:
It's been said I'm a Boone to mankind."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0207

Now George Wallace on the other shore,
Has no need to contend anymore.
Unless he should perforce
Find his path blocked, of course,
By a white-robed guy guarding the door.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9811A

The orator, great Henry Clay
Tried out the new super bidet.
If you'd like to see 'em
Go to Richmond Museum,
Where his balls are on public display.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303

His voice, a rich basso changed to mezzo soprano.
Republicans say he turned gay.
The gush from the south blew his balls to his mouth,
Distorting what Clay wants to say.
The result was quite sad; his dick blown to Baghdad,

And his balls to the Champs Elysees
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303

It blew his genitalia To far off Australia;
He's leaveing to join them today.
The resulting viration caused such strong sensation
It quadrupled old Clay's PSA.
His dick blew out of sight, So on a cold winter's night,

Clay has nothing with which he can play.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303

To you, it may sound sick, But his bifurcated dick,
Has made him a sought after lay.
His balls disappeared, but his sinuses cleared,
And his eyes bulged like fish on a tray.
He said that his wiener Had never been cleaner

But his testicles melted away.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303

With Onassis, Jackie was such a winner,
The Church called her a public sinner.
She then cast her eyes
On a hundred other guys,
To prove that she was no beginner.
--- Chairman Steve

Tom Jefferson liked recreation
With Sally, when home on plantation.
Though she wasn't his Mrs.
We have heard, with some hisses.
They were Mr. and miscegenation.
--- Anon

Since the Great Declaration was signed,
Its first signature pops into mind;
Even people in Bangkok
Are aware of John Hancock;
For approvals, it's one of a kind.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

The Puritan faggot Miles Standish,
Was quite skilled with the knife he did brandish.
He would carve up that bird
By the rules of God's word,
Though he stuffed it in ways quite outlandish.
--- D Royd

When Standish sent Alden to blandish
Priscilla on behalf of Standish,
Priscilla advised
(In words modernized)
"Why don't you your own penis brandish?"
--- Irving Superior P9307

Was Priscilla aware that Miles Standish,
In his courship, was wholly outlandish,
That apart from a sword
Which he'd smuggled aboard,
He had little or nothing to brandish.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8303

"My only regret," Nathan Hale
While breathing his final inhale,
(The trap door is set) ]
"My only regret
Has something to do with ex-Hale."
--- Irving Superior P9305

He declined to take any part, he
Declared, in his foe's necktie party,
Unless guaranteed
He'd be afterward freed
To die once again, Hale and hearty.
--- Laurence Perrine P9501

"If by land, then hang one lamp for me,
But hang two, if they're coming by sea."
With instructions so clear,
It perplexed Paul Revere
When that night, he distinctly saw three!
--- Larry Hollister

When he'd finished his ride, Paul Revere
Had an up and down kind of career;
He commanded at fronts,
And was court-martialed once,
Yet his silver and he are top tier.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

While Paul Revere made his night ride,
Ten 'Redcoats' were raping his bride;
"The British," cried Paul,
"Are coming, you all!"
"Oh God! Yes they are!" she replied.
--- Travis Brasell

When John Alden spoke up for Miles,
Priscilla saw through all their wiles.
She said, "John I can see
You'd like bedding with me,
And I must say your scheming beguiles."
--- Warrick Elrod

Ms Susan B Anthony's niece
Insisted the rumors must cease.
But Congress, quite jaunty,
Immortalized Auntie:
America's First Dollar Piece.
--- Arthur Deex P0001

Whether or not said by old Thoreau,
It is wiser to beg than to borrow.
How true that at any rate
And even a penny rate,
To borrow tomorrow means sorrow.
--- Conrad Aiken P9502

I'll admit my brain boggles and bends
When I think of those weird "New Age" trends.
William Penn, stalwart, brave,
Would rotate in his grave
At "Society of Psychic Friends."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9804

Attilla, though he was as cruel
As the Khan, with an active a tool,
Killed the women instead,
Made the men give him head,
And thus left with a shallow gene pool.
--- Temujin

Cunanan, the infamous fag,
Embarked on his murderous jag.
He eluded the cops
Wearing wigs made of mops,
As he wandered the streets in full drag.
--- Tom Patton P9709

A history scholar named Georgia
Expounds on the family Borgia:
"Such evils they've done!"
She cries, "Better run
If you see a Borgia come torgia!"
--- VOL 7

There was an old man called Fidel
Who increasingly didn't look well.
Surely Cuban cigars
And those rocket-finned cars
Should be all that you need to feel swell?
--- Anon

Said Castro, "This pain in my middle,
Hurts me every time that I piddle!
Though flat on my back,
I know that my quack,
Will soon have me fit as a Fidel."
--- David Miller

Castro's insides look rather gross.
Real soon he could be "Adios!"
Let's hope that his docs
Put in his pill box,
Way way more than a lethal dose.
--- Vie

Fidel's going to live just to spite us;
He's planning germ warfare to fight us.
By using his rear
To spread diarrhea,
And calls it 'Castro-enteritis'.
--- David Miller

When Congressman Condit awoke,
He stifled his tears with a choke.
"You see, it depends
On where it goes and ends,
And whether folks think I misspoke."
--- Matthew Montchalin

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