MORE
Since his lust wasn't satiated, The otolarynologist There was a young man named Ignatius, A man who's known only as Rob, A girl should be able to take it; Old men whose libidoes are pricked, There once was a man named Folden, I like oral stimulation; Two whores from their jobs have departed. A conservative senator, Horatio, Please don't stop innovating There once was a girl named Lenore, Carol's skilled with a beach ball and pickets. As an encore, this queen of vacuum Said a seller of fruit in Havana, A man is a gem of creation I've got a friend who's called Rob; Aren't you a trifle atavistic, Mac You seem to be obsessed with my dick; I listened all night to her claptrap, The French are a race among races; There once was a lifeguard named Lee, Mabel's built like she's ready to roll. A male friend of Sappho's had strong Interior decorator, Morgan, A waitress at Benny's Cafe A charming young lass from Milwaukee Now boys, I'll see you all tonight, The most popular co-ed's a virgin; Bought flowers, a card and some candy, Horatio, a handsome Hungarian, A young Brit said, "Golly by jingo, To his wife said a fellow named Jay, I wanted my gal to deep throat, Cameron was a student at Balmoral, A truculent guy from Pawtucket A lady named Shirley was mellow, While touring the city of Cologne, She complained to her sweetheart, McGlutt, A handsome young maiden named Cobb The women 'round here are extreme 'Twas a brIde just outside Terre Haute The wife cannot get through her dome Soldiers from the World War One trenches And here I was telling my chums With you I will no longer bother, You go spend your life on your knees, It's Ramadan, sister, at last. To the foreman, the new fettler said: A girlie who puffs on a fag I usually do believe She gave me a piece of her mind, Ron Jeremy can suck his own dick; I guess I should move to Nantucket, She said she was feeling just swell; There once was a lass from Nantucket Said the popular call girl named Claire, "I have for you, love, just one question -- The venerable Alfred P Sloan There once was a man named Fred, The chill makes my nipples so perky He decided his birthday'd be sweeter, Fellating her workman was very A blow job I was secretly wishin' I don't know, we just might be seen...err... A horny young laddie named Jim, Friar Maury jumped out of a thicket,
Pete asked Jan why they never dated.
She said "Hop on in bed!"
And while she gave head,
He squealed, "Thank god we aren't related!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Checked for what the doc had missed.
I have not ingested
What some hairy-chested
Male ejaculates when he's blissed.
--- Anon
Who complained of limericks salacious.
Then a girl named Monique
Displayed her physique,
And now all his thoughts are fellatious.
--- Bill Wright
Supposedly does such a job,
At pleasing the girls,
Between their dirk curls,
On his knob they're all wanting to bob.
--- Ryan
Though brusque and quite rude, we can make it.
My kind of chick
Says to "Hi, suck my dick!"
"It's tiny." She says, "I'll just rake it."
--- Anon
When hardness they cannot depict,
Don't fret at your shrink
Or think your're extinct;
You problem can surely be licked.
--- Irving Superior P8509
His penis, a girl's mouth was holdin'.
She said, "No! Wait! First..."
Then he suddenly burst,
And he thought, "Ah, silence is golden!"
--- Smurfette T9711a
Humming can cause such sensation.
Your organ will groan
And you'll surely moan,
Because of simple vibration.
--- Anon
"It does smell like cocks," one remarked.
"I think I have burped",
The other one slurped.
"Oh good, 'cause I thought you had farted".
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Hated perverted sex, and he'd say so.
But he lost his aversion
To sexual perversion
When he learned "sodomy" includes fellatio!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
New scenes for us titillating.
Your imagination
Is a huge stimulation,
Wherein I'll soon be fellating.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who claimed she could blow many more.
She said with a grin
As she wiped off her chin,
"My God but my tonsils are sore!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She sucks that ball 'tween them. The tickets
We hawk for this feat,
Where we gawk, are a treat
To escapees from life's sticky wickets.
--- Anon
Sucks the well-preserved dong of Khartoum.
This towering truncheon
On which she is lunchin',
Extends from her lips to her womb.
--- Anon
To a ripe red-lipped lady named Anna,
You want something to eata?
No charge, senorita,
Put those red lips around by banana.
--- Ogden Nield
With a passion for self exploration;
Having perfect design
With beauty, divine,
And a suitable place for fellation.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Playing with computers, his job.
Surfing all day,
He takes home good pay,
And his girl friend gives a great blow job.
--- Funny Bone
With that little supernumerary nipple on your sac?
When I go down to eat,
My purpose I defeat,
When my lips slip from meat to teat and back.
--- L0411
All you do is talk of my prick.
If that's just on your mind,
And new words can't you find,
Then feel free to give my prick a lick.
--- Anon
Till invited right up for a nightcap.
After a brandy
She got kinda randy,
So I eased my stiff dick in her big yap.
--- Tutta Gioia
They screw in the funniest places;
Any orifice handy
Is considered quite dandy,
And that goes for the one in their faces.
--- Anon G0896
Who rescued a girl from the sea.
She asked how to pay,
And he said, "Just one way,
Go down for the third time on me."
--- David M
Bob's been on the road since last fall.
I'm tired of truckin'
Instead of just fuckin',
So I wish she'd just whoop me some skull.
--- Anon
Attraction to shoes, but it's wrong
To suppose that he'd care
For any old pair.
The tongue had to be good and long.
--- A N Wilkins P8708
Learned all about art at the Sorbonne.
Though a gladiola
Is on his pianola,
He favored tulips on his organ.
--- Tom Patton P9803a
Tripped right near my table one day.
I said "Excuse me, I
Have soup in my fly."
She just smiled and licked it away.
--- Anon
Bought a pair of new walkie-talkies.
That way she could hear
When I'd scream "My dear!"
A block off as she sucked my cockie.
--- Anon
We will play with all of our might.
We'll give a big blow;
I'll pluck and then Jo
Will do what she's best at. All right?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Her stable of suitors will burgeon.
Though her hymen's intact,
It's known for a fact,
She gives blow-jobs without any urgin'.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
And a cute little lingerie panty,
It's for her that I yearn,
And expect naught in return,
But a blowjob sure would be dandy.
--- Anon
Once bedded a lovely librarian.
When he asked for fellatio,
She cried, "Oh Horatio,
You know I'm a strict vegetarian!"
--- Don Boen P8302
I just love playing Spanish Bingo."
He became most irate
When they called B-8;
Lost his smile so they called him "Gringo."
--- Tom Patton P9911
"Jump in bed and we'll have us a lay."
Said his dear wife, distraught,
"Though my head aches a lot,
I believe that my cunt is okay."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0219
This is file rzl
So she practiced for weeks on a goat.
Now she won't suck my meat,
'Less I let out a bleat,
Or kiss me without a fur coat.
--- Lee Kansas
Who wanted to receive some oral.
He met a great girl,
When she saw him -- she hurled,
And said "Come on -- I do have some moral."
--- Anon
Inquired of a girl if she'd suck it.
She exclaimed with surprise,
"Why it makes my gorge rise!"
He replied with a snarl, "Well then, fuck it!"
--- G0892
As she said to an eager young fellow,
"I prefer bagels and lox
To the sucking of cocks,
Or even a nice bowl of Jello!"
--- Anon
I had a drink in a Bunny Club alone.
"What's yours?" smiled a bunny,
"Two liquors, honey."
She sniffed and said, "Go lick your own!"
--- FCA T9712
That their sex life was in a deep rut;
Now ofttimes they quarrel,
Over sex that is oral;
How she wishes she'd kept her mouth shut.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8305 A
Hung around with a crusty old slob.
He said, "She's a shit,
But I need to get fit,
Or she'll never drink spunk from my knob."
--- H Welchel
In matters of oral hygiene:
They never fellate
The guys that they date,
Unless they squirt pasteruised cream.
--- Michael Horgan
Who announced to her spouse, and I quote,
"You should know I decline
To perform '69',
Plus some others I will not denote.
--- Keith MacMillan A047B
The reason her husband does roam.
Sanctimony pervades
Matrimonial charades -
And he can't get a blow job at home.
--- Al Chaplin P9410
Went to Paris to seek sexy wenches.
Said one soldier, bemused,
"We are all so confused,
They are great fucks, but none of them frenches."
--- Rick Kaplowitz P9205
To wait for the yell when I comes.
But now you confirm
My oversized worm,
Won't even by squeezed by your gums?
--- SFA
My Valentine will be another,
'Cause Ericka said
If she, I will wed,
My ardour she quickly will smother.
--- SFA
And pray just as much as you please.
Then maybe God willing,
You'll get something filling.
Too bad that it will NOT be these! (using both hands)
--- SFA
So now during daylight we fast.
And our Ayatollah,
Will vent his great choler
On us: get your mouth off my mast.
--- Anon
"I found girl tied to track I thought dead!
So gave her a fucking,
But cock got no sucking,
Though I looked everywhere for her head."
--- David Miller
Will soon find it's really a drag.
'Cause fags do not care
For girls, dressed or bare.
It's the boys that make their tails wag!
--- Sam Shaffe P8809
It's better to give than receive.
But in some things I've said
Like blowjobs for Fred,
My 'giving' will not be achieved
--- Anon
When I asked for a piece from behind.
"Forget it!" she said,
When I wanted some head.
So how's a poor boy to unwind?
--- Mike Desso
I've seen it; it wasn't a trick.
If I could just teach
Mine own pecker to reach,
She'd be out on her ear really quick.
--- Mike Desso
Where maybe I'd learn how to suck it.
I would say with a grin,
Wiping come off my chin,
"Learn to eat your own pussy, bitch!"
--- Mike Desso z
He suggested, "Good, let's raise some hell!"
"Can't Honey, at eight
I've a GYN date."
So he asked, "With your dentist as well?"
--- Jane D Hughes P9006 a
Who was constantly trying to fuck it.
Said her man with a sigh,
"It wouldn't cause you to die
If once in a while, you would suck it."
--- Mitch White z
Who practiced her craft with great flair,
When asked by client Fred
If she'd give him some head,
"The only thing I blow is my hair"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0506
Will you try any position I mention?"
She answered me NO!
And I decided to go.
A blowjob was just out of the question.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Preferred the cup, not the cone.
And when asked if he would,
He replied, "If I could
I'd raise much more than my bone."
--- Anon
Was in search of getting some head.
He went to Dallas,
And found a Pussy Palace,
And settled for that instead!
--- Anon
And the wine makes me queasy and quirky!
I'd give all you men head --
But I'd rather drop dead --
And I'd rather be eating beef jerky.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If Suzanne would suck on his tweeter.
"There's no way!" she said.
"If you want birthday head,
I'm afraid you must settle for Peter!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Distasteful for squeamish Miss Mary.
He switched the agenda
And poked her pudenda,
Which made her not quite so contrary.
When I told her semen had nutrition.
But in place of good head,
I got bitch-slapped instead;
Thus my dream didn't reach it's fruition.
--- Anon
Are you sure that that thing is all clean...err...
I guess that I could...
I don't know if I should....
JUST SHUT UP AND SUCK ON MY WEINER!
--- Anon
Liked his women quite gentle and prim.
But would they give head
Before they were wed?
I must say the chances are slim.
--- Jayne
And asked a young lady to lick it.
She promptly said no,
And started to go.
(But she did tell him where he could stick it!)
--- Anon
MORE