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Bea's head, it can't be any hollower,
So why do the guys always follow her?
We found out today,
Much to our dismay;
Word leaked out that Bea's a sword swallower.
--- Emma Mara

Though not a sword swallower as such,
My sister hides one up her crutch.
And with this sharp cutlass
Has rendered dates nutless,
For suggesting that they should go "Dutch".
--- David Miller

I cite with dismay how one whore'd
Engage to the full my pork sword;
With my balls on her chin,
It was shafted well in,
But the tip, by her stomach was gored.
--- Jester John

I see this as just a bad omen,
She doesn't raise my sundail gnomon.
A deep-throated gnawer
Is never top-drawer,
And has nothing for you but woe, man.
--- Cyber Wizard

Inflamed by her pendulous bust,
I vowed that a duel was a must.
But after the labour
Of whetting my sabre,
The bitch went and parried my thrust.
--- SFA

Though she'd braces, a coed, Miss Banks,
Was quite generous with her oral pranks.
With her braces removed,
Her skills so improved,
That the team sent her dentist their thanks.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511A

A woman in love with my tip --
Attentive to grip, lip, and drip,
Shall soon be unsprung --
My fingers and tongue
Will thank her for caring to sip.
--- Anon

Young Katie is hopeless on tables;
She's off with the fairies and fables.
But when she's in bed
And giving you head,
My God! What she does to your cable!
--- Anon

Okay, you've convinced me there, Squat;
A ride with you sounds pretty hot.
If I'm satisfied,
I'll give you a ride;
My tongue'll tie you in a knot.
--- Anon

There was a cocksucker named Bentley,
Renowned for his art prominently.
It was quite an adventure
For he took out his denture,
And he beat with his gums very gently.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1243

They watch with the greatest intent
To the way that their member is bent,
As it slips 'tween her lips.
Let it be near her hips,
'Til the passion of both is well spent.
--- Anon

There lived a young lass named Miss Tilt,
Who pleasured men under their kilt;
When to her surprise,
Was a dong of such size,
That she choked as she reached the hilt!
--- Nubie

John, JOHN! Get your ass back in bed!
I like that thing hard, not soft instead!
With my tongue I'll go 'round,
Then up and back down
You know I give excellent head!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a guy named Fred
Who thought he was better off dead.
Till he met a girl, Di,
Who unzipped his fly,
And gave him the very best head.
--- Anon

There once was a maid in Duluth,
A striver and seeker of truth.
This pretty wench
Was adept at French,
And said all else was uncouth.
--- L0399

As she sucked on his pecker so sweet,
Said Hines, "What a wonderful treat!"
She said, "It's not luck,
For I learned how to suck
By watching the lions gobble meat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0886

I met a young maid from France.
I wanted to get in her pants,
Then she took out my meat,
And gave me a treat;
Down the length with her tongue, she did dance!
--- Limberick

There was a young twirp in Ishkooda--
I never knew anyone lewder.
She sucked off the chauffeur,
The African loafer,
And worried his cock till he screwed her.
--- G0861

Sometimes misses look more like misters;
Some are covered with cellulite blisters.
So the position that pleases
Is down on their kneeses;
That way they all look like sisters.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The ladies who live in Japan,
Exist just for pleasing a man.
They'll give him fellatio,
Or lay on the patio,
Or even a goose with a fan.

(And muffle their farts with a fan.)
--- G1810

Through the length and the breadth of this nation,
All's now proper on every occasion.
If a woman feels able,
Then under the table
Is a suitable place for fellation.
--- Isaac Asimov

One night at the back of the flicks
Was Richard and me and two chicks.
Since I was with Polly,
I bought her a lolly,
But Stephanie had to suck Dick's.
--- SFA

The Elephant Man I am not,
Though I do play piano a lot.
I shall serenade thee
With sonatas in C,
If my trumpet you'll blow 'til I'm hot.
--- Anon

An artisan near Boston, Mass.,
Earned her pay every week blowing Glass.
It all ended when
That angry old hen,
Mrs Glass kicked her square in the ass.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311

"It's a shame and disgrace," said old Curley,
When he read of today's boy and girly.
"She blows Harry or Bill
And she's virginal still.
I was born 62 years too early."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

And then in walks Bossie-Boots Pru;
She stood watching me and young Sue;
And boy, I'm no fool.
I soon had my tool
Licked both by our Susie and Pru.
--- Anon

There were three ladies of Huxham,
And whenever we meets 'em, we fucks 'em.
And when that game grows stale,
We sits on a rail,
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.

(Published 1870)
--- L0052

A hasher there was from Fort Worth,
Whose tool had unusual girth.
When a girl from the South,
Took his dick in her mouth,
"I'm thorry, can't thay the lath verth."
--- Anon

In Reddick the ladies all know (IL)
The reason the guys' dickies all glow.
It's often been said
That when they give head,
They leave lots of lipstick below.
--- Julia Strawn P8805

Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Joined forces with Barnum and Bailey;
She went down on a clown;
'Twas the talk of the town!
Want more details? E-mail me!
--- Writerman

The mayor at first felt concern
When his fate, for the worse took a turn.
He left, not dejected,
But proud and erected --
He enjoyed being licked by Miss Fern.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0802

The girls in our village is buxom
And they lays on their backs while we fucks 'em.
In between whiles,
We sits on the styles,
And hangs down our pricks and they sucks 'em.
--- Lims For Year - 01

When a girl on an island remote,
Met a Frenchman who lived on a boat,
She was soon in his bunk
With a mouth full of spunk,
And a ruddy great Frog in her throat.
--- Michael Horgan

This is file rxl

Butch had old ugly-assed Sue;
She was something he found in the zoo.
In the woods, one fine day
Where the goony-golfers play,
He shot her mouth full of his goo!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Though Pam was as cute as a button,
She'd barf at the mention of mutton.
What got her in heat
Was talk of my meat,
For which the dear gal was a glutton.
--- SFA

There once was a girl called Robin,
Her open mouth, I shot my gob in.
She always would choke,
While my dick she would stroke.
God bless her, her head was a-bobbin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"It's your daughter," said Constable Fred.
"She's too flouncy by half, It's been said.
Every bitch has her day,
But I'd rather not say
What that girl's taken into her head."
--- John Ciardi

The busy street frightened Miss Blue,
Till Boy Scouts assisted her through.
She asked, "Can I repay
Your good deed for today?"
Said the leader, "A blow job will do."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0793

Now Steve was a horny young dude,
Whose language and manners were crude.
He had suffered rejection
And a lack of affection,
So he had a great need to get screwed.
--- Bob Birch P0605

He hit on a woman named Sue;
Came right out and asked if she'd screw.
She pretended surprise,
And batted her eyes,
And ask him just what he would do.
--- Bob Birch P0605

Steve shared his long fantasy list,
And there sure wasn't much that he missed.
This all stirred Sue's desire;
Set her body on fire;
And this before they even kissed.
--- Bob Birch P0605

Sue hurried Steve into her bed,
And proceed to give him some head.
As she sucked on his pole
Steve lost all his control,
And he came and his pecker went dead.
--- Bob Birch P0605

A fortunate fellow named Tad
Was blessed with a wife who was glad
To French kiss his peter
Whenever he'd meet her.
The reason? - his breath was so bad.
--- Arthur Deex P8207

There once was a socialite, Beth,
Whose habits will thrill you to death.
She always would greet us
With a kiss on the meatus.
To avoid, she confessed, our bad breath.
--- Arthur Deex P8207

There's a housewife of old Nacogdoches
With a habit her friends think atrocious.
She'll kiss hubby's dong
When she tells him "So long."
It's no fun - but he's got halitosis.
--- Arthur Deex P8207

As for John, and the young miss
Who first gave his first genital kiss --
He likes cherries to suck,
But he's not had much luck --
He's been searching from that day to this!
--- Anon

In the West once, a passionate lass
Was considered a great piece of ass!
But when rustlers fled town,
She preferred to go down,
As she headed them off at the pass!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

There was a young lady named Hix,
Who was fond of sucking big pricks.
One fellow she took
Was a doctor named Snook,
Now he's in a hell of a fix.

(Famous murder trial of the 1920's)
--- L0404

I saw your dear wife as she glowers.
Oh yes, I'm enjoying your flowers.
The next time you drop by
I'll be sucking you dry
As a meatloaf that's baked seven hours.
--- T9707

A sailor who sails o'er the wave'll
See a girl; what the seaman will crave'll
Be more than a feel,
Love her up until she'll
Suck the semen 'neath his naval navel.
--- G2741

There was a young girl, very sweet,
Who thought sailor's meat quite a treat.
When she sat on their lap
She unbuttoned their flap,
And always had plenty to eat.
--- L0435

There once was a woman named Betty,
Who claimed to be horny and ready,
But this young woman said,
I'll give a man head,
If his balls are not smelly and sweaty.
--- Bob Birch P0206

A girl that I once knew in Pinner
Attacked me one night after dinner.
In spite of my cries,
She parted my thighs
And muffled my protests within her.
--- Frank

An ingenious inventor named Schlock
Inventions produced, 'round the clock.
"Ideas," he said,
"Will come to my head
When a lady is sucking my cock."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0878

There once was a fellow named Fred
Who found a young lass in his bed.
He said with a grin,
"Would it be such a sin
If I asked her to give me some head."
--- Anon

The cure for my stress that works great,
Oral sex with my wife," declared Nate;
Said Pete, also stressed,
"If that's what works best,
I'll drop by at a quarter to eight."
--- Ed Potts P8511

There once was a man from Vancouver,
Whose wife could suck like a Hoover.
He smiled and he said,
"I'd take her to bed,
But the rugs are so clean, I won't move her.

(Hoover - a brand of vacuum cleaner)
--- Anon

An amusing young lady named Greer
Was always dispensing good cheer.
Her favorite trick
Was to suck on the prick
Of a guest who was serving her beer.
--- G0854

There once was a gal from Melbourne
And fellatio she wanted to learn.
The full taste of it
Made her spit a bit,
But she reckoned it killed all the worms.
--- Geoff Broken Hill

There was a young lady from Texas
Who bobbed my knob in her Lexus.
"You do that good
As a dick nibbler should!"
The ladies from Texas perplex us.
--- Anon

A fellow from South Amsterdam
Was quite fond being covered with jam.
When they licked underneath,
Gals lost all their teeth,
Which may have been part of the plan.
--- Robert Elliot

A wealthy old midget, Miss Tuck,
Disclosed how she met with good luck.
She had yawned in a crowd
Near a man who was proud --
It was there, her first low blow was struck.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0889

In her garden behind the shed,
Sweet Sally gives her neighbors head.
Her garden in green;
It's easily seen
Rich mulch is so good for the bed.
--- Anon

A popular maiden from Twisp,
Had speech both incisive and crisp;
Till her pronunciation,
Through constant fellation,
Became a mellifluous lisp.
--- Ed Potts P8606a

Sue sold lettuce but now she is dead,
And her sister sells lettuce instead.
I'm glad Sue's at rest;
Her sister's the best;
Doesn't charge me when she's giving head!
--- Travis Brasell

My squeeze, Marylou, might be dizzy,
And her belly hair is kinda frizzy.
But after one beer
She does something dear,
She takes out her teeth and gets busy!
--- Anon

Sometimes they get down on their knees,
And give my gonads a squeeze.
And suck on my dick
'Til it's all wet and slick,
And stop being an old pecker tease.
--- The Man


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