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A perverted old president, Dwight There once was a man named Horatio I'm unsure of the expletive ratio A guru, so wise and sagacious, Sheik Abdul, the lucky old Persian, I didn't watch where my huskies go; I've heard that it is quite nutritious, With a bimbo, he thought he'd celebrate, There once was a man namaed Morass, There was a young man, Johnny Case, While sitting there, twiddling his thumbs, A ranady old sod name of Perce, Alas he got locked in position, His cock's rather stiffy, today. The question that everyone's missed There was a young farmhand named Grant, I've tried self-fellation as well, The best contortionists ever born Another remarkable sheik Tiddy Ogg has his lovely Alsatian; Every time that I've ever been blown, There once was a fellow named Pete You may find it to be rather sick, Pity the poor drunken Mick, While walking downtown to a flick, Lucky for us, it's only the hound; A difficent damsel named Jen The astronaut, stiffened with fear, I'm pointing this out for your reference: This one Ornithologist named Rollo, I once knew this girl really well; While cuddled up under a blanket, A fellow named Joe, in gay mode, The truth is that any ol' broad'll It's nice that you're back to be read Like Monica, the girl got too fat, There once was a woman I dated Oh Ducky, I've heard of your needs My first porno movie with Grace Poor girl doesn't know what she's missing; There was a young lass named Jen, I said, while she's ready to tinker A hypnotist told lots of women, A cheerleader down in Las Cruces The one thing 'bout jocks is: they spit! A word to you handsome Apollos: A hundred and ninety plus ten; No wonder my ranch gals are thinner There once was a young girl from Wick, I can't remember her name; A hungry old trollop from Yemen Sweet Annabelle swallows it whole -- To sex, I am quite a latecomer; This season has been a real bummer; A pert miss named Mary Contrary, Oh, fellatio is my middle name. A fellatrix' healthful condition Twin sisters: Awana, Anita, (pita - a type or bread)
An Indian squaw up at Spruce, A randy old lady named Liz A willowy widow named Sallow The Singer was terribly shallow; Said the pilgrim, a seeker named Rollo, A horny young woman named Kelly In head-to-tail sex the pair wallowed, These gals would save many a dollar,
Took out his false teeth one June night,
Then -- neat little trick --
Put them on his dick,
And sucked himself off to delight.
--- Michael Weinstein P8509
Who died with a smile on his fatio.
The certificate read,
He died in his bed
Of self-inflicted fellatio.
--- Tom Patton P9806
Said my Hamlet, or even Horatio.
But I know of a thane
Who insulted a swain,
By encouraging autofellatio.
--- David Miller
When asked whether lims are salacious,
Said (bending to lick
His enormous great dick),
"No - the very idea is fellatious."
--- Peter Wilkins
Engaged in all sorts of perversion.
Did young boys and old men,
Sheep, goats and a hen
And fellated himself for diversion.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0205
Now I've eaten the bad "yellow snow".
And now I can lick
And suck my own dick.
My favorite's full-throat and real slow.
--- Kim and Sam
But I've always been rather suspicious.
So I gave it a shot
And came quite a lot.
And the taste, I admit, was delicious.
--- Big Nuts
But after, he's still celebate;
'Cause his dick, in the moisture,
Was quite like an oyster,
So he decided to just self-fellatiate.
--- Mervyn Cripps
Who used to jack off in a glass.
He gave himself head,
And he stopped and he said,
"I guess my hand's in the past!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who said, "It's an awful disgrace!
I tried hard and long
To suck my own dong,
And I shot myself right in the face!"
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Waiting for his big dick to come,
He said, "If my schlonger
Were two inches longer,
I could get myself off with my tongue."
--- Big Boy
At ninety was very perverse;
Tried auto-fellating
One day while awaiting
His regular visit from nurse.
--- Peter Wilkins
A foot and a half from his mission,
Before he could suck it,
He thus kicked the bucket,
Or so say his nurse and physician.
--- Peter Wilkins
Permanently hard it will stay.
Till some day in the future,
The nursey will suture
His lips shut to keep it that way.
--- Ardens
Is how, while his pecker was kissed,
Did Perce do the trick
Of giving a kick
To the bucket -- bet that took a twist.
--- Archie
To randy to reap or to plant.
Instead, he's in bed
With his feet 'round his head;
Lucky man doing what others can't
--- Chris Young
But after one try, thought it Hell;
And quite too much trouble,
As bent over double,
My nose kept detecting a smell...
--- David Miller
All try it, and become forlorn;
It can't be denied
That it's often been tried,
But no man can blow his own horn!
--- Anon
Fellated himself twice a week.
When offered a camel,
Nasser, Abdul Gamel
Said, "What do you think I'm a freak?"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0205
South Dakota, the Sioux Indian Nation.
But now I've lost weight;
There's nothing as great
As a session of slow self-fellation.
--- John Miller
By some bitch on the end of my bone,
I think how much trouble
I could save to bend double,
And take care of the job on my own.
--- Anon
Who liked to suck his own meat.
He wanked himself off
Into his own mouth,
Then spat it all out on the sheet.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That sometimes I suck my own dick.
But I swear I'm not gay,
I just like to play
With myself instead of with chicks.
--- Anon
In the morning he'll feel so sick.
But he shouldn't have tried
With true Irish pride,
To swallow his own Irish prick.
--- Luke Sheppard
Saw a dog who was licking his dick.
It's not that I'm gay
In any way,
But if I could do that, I'd be rich!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The secret to twisting's been found.
If guys learned that trick
And their own balls could lick,
We'd have much worse bad breath around.
--- Anon
Kept claiming she'd no use for men.
But quite oddly enough,
She ingested male stuff,
Again and again and again.
--- Armand E Singer 424
Was thrust in her final frontier.
Just like a black hole,
Her deep-throating role
Made all she sucked -- POOF -- disappear.
--- Randog
Though Milady may have her own preference,
I'd rather you swallow
Than lie there and wallow
In the loads that you've coaxed from vas deferens.
--- Anon
Gave me this bit of logic to follow:
The bird of sweet love,
Is not the white Dove;
Could there be any doubt? It's the swallow!
--- Garold Amadon
She loved to suck dick, I could tell.
As she swallowed it down,
On her face was a frown;
She love the taste, not the smell.
--- Oliver Closhoff
My boyfriend asked me to yank it.
I wanted to fuck
So we settled on suck;
And then he popped and I drank it.
--- Annie Mae Hentai T9712
Helped Jerry, his friend, shoot a load
In his mouth. He said "Ulp!"
But he swallowed it "Gulp!"
Such tasteful compassion Joe showed.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
This is file rsl
Enjoy sucking cock and will dawdle
Her mouth on the spunk,
If she's staggerin' drunk,
From a cordial, a posset, and caudle.
--- Travis Brasell
And telling poor Brad his brain's lead.
But speaking of vice,
Which I do in a trice,
So -- do you still swallow in bed?
--- Archie
While doing her thing, tit for tat.
To avoid excess pounds
While making the rounds,
Don't swallow, it's as simple as that.
--- John Paulk P0309
Whose figure was somewhat inflated.
In two weeks she'd drunk
Me dry of my spunk,
And rendered me emaciated.
--- Anon
And now I have answered your pleads.
In a sexual wallow,
I always will swallow --
I'm Vegan and always eat seeds.
--- Archie
Was made in a secretive place.
"So where was it shot?"
Said one nosey clot.
I told him: "All over her face!"
--- SFA
To swallow is part of the kissing.
Should I spit instead,
When giving good head,
I'd only expect boos and hissing.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Who had to be locked in a pen,
No spit, just swallow,
She'd suck a man hollow,
'Cause she loved the taste of her men.
--- Anon
With sucking my throbbing hot clinker,
"I'll not come--would I lie?
If I do, may I die!"
And she swallowed it, hook, line, and sinker.
--- Jester Jon
Sucking spunk helped with slimmin'.
And tasted as sweet
As the best candy treat.
His book of head-givers was brimmin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Once questioned her team, "What the deuce is
So important to jocks,
When they shoot off their rocks,
That a girl has to swallow the juices?"
--- Hugh Clary
When one does, he's called "ill-mannered twit."
Girls show good etiquette,
Gulping down all they get,
And this "good taste" example's a hit!
--- Ward Hardman
Beware of the lady who swallows
Your sperm with a grin
As though it were gin,
For that's nothing compared to what follows!
--- Norm Storer
Young German girls' figures are thin,
Because they have followed
This diet and swallowed
The semen they've sucked from their men.
--- Anon
Than rails, since for years this old sinner
Has given 'em feed;
They gulp down my seed
For breakfast, for lunch, and for dinner.
--- Anon
Who craved for the taste of a prick.
But when she had drunk
Her first mouthful of spunk,
It made her exceedingly sick.
--- Anon
Her face; they all look the same.
But boy could she swallow,
'Til your member was hollow
And your poor groin had pulled up lame.
--- Mike Desso
Did a pretty good business with he-men.
But she gave up all fucking
In favor of sucking,
For the protein contained in the semen.
--- L0800
A talent her lovers extol.
For all BJ givers,
To down pasty rivers
Of cum is man's spick-and-span goal.
--- Ran Dog Q
I've wasted those years, what a bummer!
But discoverin' fellatio
Is changing the ratio.
(Though one swallow does not make a summer).
--- Doug Harris
I got blown only once in my Hummer.
Despite nightly hunts,
It happened just once.
One swallow does not make a summer.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0501
Was attacked by a man on a ferry.
When he'd done, he said, "Come
On now, swallow my scum!"
"I won't, but I want to," said Mary.
--- L0393
Try it once, you'll never be the same.
In bliss you will wallow,
And, yes, I do swallow,
for to waste it, would be such a shame!
--- Anon
Proved the value of spunk as nutrition.
Her remarkable diet,
(I suggest that you try it)
Was only her clients' emission.
--- L0392
Never swallow the cream from the meat-ah.
One chose to spit
When her mouth filled with it,
The other liked hers on a pita.
--- Artie Troll
Was unable to have a papoose.
She said to her pater,
When he asked, "What's the matter?"
"I can't swallow the foul, slimy juice."
--- L0430
Found a sailor to give her the biz.
While he fingered her hole,
She sucked on his pole,
And playfully swallowed his jizz.
--- Anon
Was known to be frigidly fallow.
She wasted the juice
That shot from my spruce,
By flatly refusing to swallow.
--- SFA
Her once lovely voice sounded fallow.
I got so concerned,
But later I learned
Some bugger had taught her to swallow.
--- Frank
"I've chosen the road I must follow.
While some men seek love
Blessed by Heaven above,
I'm seeking a girl who will swallow!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
Eats pecker like others eat deli.
She's often got
A mouth full of cock,
And loads of semen in her belly.
--- Loretta F TP9802
But God, he regrets what then followed.
It's he is to blame,
Not the devious dame;
He should have made sure the bitch swallowed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
If mothers would teach them, and holler:
"Like tarts from the hills,
You'd save cleaning bills,
If once you've fellated, you'd swaller."
--- Anon
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