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A gerbil who came from Cape Fear, A brute who had drunk too much beer, A cosmonaut with name Vladimir, Those films about 007 -- You are not the sole one on that cloud; At a party, a girl from Monrovia Barry Manilow's rather a freak; Duke Ellington said, "I opine All Bing Crosby's doubles delight The tune I am going to play Bob Dylan was in Thessalonika In Bologna, how times there have changed; There once was a hit that I hate; While you probably don't care who writes The "Man In Black," Johnny C., rather Elton John's spending money, I hear, There once was a singer named Elton The bride was frustrated and blue, so An artist formerly known as "Prince", The artist formerly known as Prince, A state fair official made claims, A German guitarist named Fritz, Jimi Hendrix thought Handel was 'Cool'; Jimi Hendrix gave the first Of innovations he was most productive For the heights Jimi did always try; So followest thou this tradition? Of this lineage I bid you be staunch, Too much! I now doth perspire I went to wash my face-ious, They say Liberace liked Thai, Said his friend, "Is it true what I hoid? As his organ was rapidly wooding, The doc rushed to see Liberace, Marilyn Manson's as skinny as a rail; A Scottish sheep ranch is whereto Spake the Lord God from atop the mount, There is a young lad called Rod Stewart; A sorcerer high on a hill The abbot stood over the bunk What's new pussy cat, where have you been? When the singer said, "Diet", he meant it, There's no telling exactly just when it Please tell me, sweet Anne-Sophie Mutter, Come play with me, beautiful Anny, I love your sweet body's vibrato, Poor Wardy, un poco a poco, Am I now old enough for Anne-Sophie, Old Andre's been told "au revoir", When Anne-Sophie Mutter's bikini Whatever your sex, if not neuter, (currently married to Andre Previn)
Miss Mutter excels in the arts, While rubbing his ass with her bow, John, Paul, George, Stuart and Pete A Beatles fan known as Miss Pringle Here's the truth, though you may call me loco, John, George, Paul, Ringo, and Pete John Lennon got shot by some Yank; We Merkins tuned in once to view 'Twas Ringo, Paul, John and George, 'quiet' The Beatles, when young, it is true, There was an old Beetle named Ringo The newspaper ruined my day, So, Ringo has aged sixty years! Every few years, a new generation Don't you tell me that Yoko does miss
Once hustled on old Wigen Pier.
He'd fetch you your tripes,
And clean your drain-pipes,
As long as you weren't Richard Gere.
--- Tony Q King
Gave his fetching young gerbils great fear.
A two-foot tube he'd wave
'Twixt holler and rave,
Shouting, "You're lucky I'm not Richard Gere!"
--- Tony Q King
Had a cageful of gerbils on Mir.
With a drainpipe and twine,
He used one at a time;
An experiment called "Richard Gere".
--- Tony Q King
I've loved them since I was eleven.
The lucky sod, James,
Surrounded by dames!
The thought of it sent me to heaven.
--- Azul
Sean Connery stands out in a crowd.
Even today
He'd make a great lay;
The experience make me moan right out loud!
--- Azul
Was told by Andre Segovia,
"My concert's in Rome;
I can't take you home;
Do you mind if someone else drove ya?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Some say he is well past his peak.
On one of his shows,
He unblocked his nose.
I hear it was Pick of the Week!
--- Bill Wall
Count Basie is that way inclined.
But it don't mean a thing
If he ain't gonna swing,
I'll have to go back up Earl Hines.
--- David Miller
In giving each other a fright.
When midnight has come,
Each bangs on a drum.
They're Bings that go thump in the night.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Upon your sweet organ today,
Is by Bob Dylan.
You I'll be thrillin'
To come hummin' "Lay Lady Lay".
--- Anon
And he wanted to celebrate Chanukah,
So he went to a "shul"
Where the rabbi was cool,
And he played "Ma-o-tzur" on harmonica.
--- Keith Gilman P0201
Rock and Roll and the Pope aren't estranged.
'Cause Bob Dylan played rock
For the men of the frock,
At a concert the Pope had arranged.
--- John Miller
The lyrics had really much fate.
He sang, My Name Is Sue
And What Can I Do.
This song about me, I'll berate!
--- Archie
Of male shits who drink and start fights.
The author from Hell
Silverstein, Shel,
Is to blame for the first "man in tights."
--- Joseph M Shair
Than being to blame for this blather,
Became hero to me
Fairly simply when he
Refused to sing "Boy Named Sue's Father!"
--- Joseph M Shair
And is buying an airline, the dear;
The stewards are gay,
(He likes it that way)
And all passengers load from the rear.
--- David Miller
Who had girl's hearts all a-meltin'.
But they soon discovered
He was a man lover;
'Twas dicks he'd rather be feltin'.
--- Bill Weiss
She burned all the clothes in her trousseau,
For the groom in the shower
Spent hour after hour
Singing off-key Enrico Caruso.
--- John E Mayhood P9804
Enjoyed going bare just to mince.
A bender is he,
As you can see,
He behavior would make your Gran wince.
--- Anon
On stage would just posture and mince.
Then just for a giggle
Changed his name to a squiggle;
Now nobody's heard of him since.
--- Bill Wall
That the singer had odious aims,
When using his vocals,
To charm distaff yokels,
Allegations denied by hick dames.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Was murdered and cut into bits.
When they found his appendix,
It was marked Jimi Hendrix,
And listed the name of his hits!
--- Sten Svensson
The man was clearly no fool.
But when he played,
His style soon strayed
From the sound of the authentic school.
--- Philip Davies
Feedback on outrageous shirts.
His guitar pressed
'Tween amp and his chest
'Til it did shriek so loudly, it hurts!
--- Anon
From positions, Oh blush!, so seductive.
Though he might blast a
Fender Stratocaster,
This feedback was always constructive.
--- Anon
You might say that it was do or die.
His life might give pause,
But he never was
SLIGHTLY outrageous, oh fie!
--- Anon
Feather boa round neck positioned,
Vest with pupils doubled,
Later spawned "Double Trouble"
To maintain his electric religion.
--- Anon
When these outrageous shirts thou doth launch.
Doth thou call a chick "Baby"
Or instead "Foxy Lady",
Insist on the higher-class raunch.
--- Anon
From standing too close to his fire.
Forsooth, apply ice;
Mehopes this suffice
Of the feedback that thou doth "require".
--- Anon
Before I ran the race-ious.
I grabbed the soap
From off the rope,
And turned on Julio Iglesious.
--- Anon
Or chinese, when a restaurant he'd try.
And his favorite dish
Wasn't noodles or fish,
But soup they called Cream of Yung Gai.
--- Hugh Clary
Did you bugger an exotic boid?"
Liberace said, "No.
It just isn't so.
'Twas a cock-er-two that I enjoyed."
--- William N Nesbit P9604 a
Liberace made sure of his footing,
When fucking brown betty,
Since his body got sweaty,
Ensuring the poof's in the pudding.
--- Hugh Clary
This is file rqm
'Cause his dick was all spotted and splotchy.
The doc said, "You twit,
Those marks are fresh shit!
Are you still fucking that young mariachi?"
--- John Chastaine
Has dyed hair and wears makeup that's pale.
Has one googly eye
Kinda looks like a fly...
And did I mention that Marilyn's male?
--- Cheryl
Mick Jagger finally retired at sixty-two.
Instead of singing out loud,
"Get off of my cloud",
Now sings "Hey McCleod, get off of my ewe!"
--- Tom Accousti
"Take heed lest thou openly flaunt
Heavy metal and leather,
Dog collar and tether--
Pat Boone, watch out, I'm keeping count."
--- Arthur Deex P9703a
Just give him a song and he'll screw it.
He sings through his sporran
On anything foreign;
A damn good trick if you can do it.
--- Bill Wall
Said, "My tub with water I'll fill."
But he met this dumb mouse
That he found 'round the house;
Then said, "That damned Disney I'll kill!"
--- Jarmo
And said, "That's my piano, you punk!
It is mine, I can tell,
And belongs in my cell;
You're a thieving Felonious Monk."
--- Peter Wilkins
Up to London to visit the Queen.
Who I think's quite a fan
Of Tom Jones, 'cause the man
Becomes "Sir" for his singing routine.
--- Dec 2005
Though he may have had cause to repent it.
He did not hesitate.
And soon lost much weight;
Fans rebuked him for his bony tenet.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9710
Might end, so this guy (at the Senate
And the Whitehouse) still sings
And at eighty sure brings
Lots of joy (by his own bony tenet).
--- Doug Harris P0609
You'd fancy a guy with computer?
My bow, your Guarneri,
Can play a tune merry,
So previous men will seem neuter!
--- Ward Hardman
Forget your ex-husbands so scrawny.
Please linger till Morgen!
You've fingered my organ
And made it imposing and brawny!
--- Ward Hardman
Its rhythm, its subtle rubato.
Your pace is adagio,
Your pose Caravaggio...
I'm joyful I'm not a castrato!
--- Ward Hardman
Has gone from Baroque to Rococo.
He fancies she's diddled
His dong while they've fiddled
Around -- proof he's really gone loco.
--- Randog
The succulent theme of this strophe?
She could search far and wide
But I state now with pride,
She'd be lucky to land such a trophy!
--- Ward Hardman
But still, her male tastes are bizarre.
We envy the codgers
She marries then rogers,
That make up her poor repertoire.
--- Randog
Is shed, Andre's pants-dwelling genie
Pops into her crease,
While she plays a Caprice
That would put to shame Paganini.
--- Randog
You should volunteer as a suitor.
Whether winter or spring,
I'd love having a fling
With pretty young Anne-Sophie Mutter!
--- Ward Hardman
And captures our musical hearts.
In the realm of romance,
She looks youngsters askance,
Prefering to marry old farts.
--- Ward Hardman
Ms Mutter gave Andre a blow.
The music they made
Won't ever be played
In Carnegie Hall -- this I know.
--- Randog
Got ahead on the strength of Pets's beat.
Stu died, Pete was booted
And Ringo recruited,
And soon for the lads, Easy Street!
--- Dr Limerick
Submitted a singable jingle,
Hoping that soon
They would record her tune;
The lisp Ringo had, made her tingle.
--- Gately
I was sitting with cookies and cocoa,
When I heard John was shot.
My immediate thought:
"They must have been aiming at Yoko."
--- Dr Limerick
Played Hamburg, and went down a treat.
Then Pete said goodbye,
And the rest then rode high,
While Pete beat his meat in the street.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He'd oodles of cash in the bank.
But wife Yoko Ono
Still misses my bone-o,
And now she does nothing but wank.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Ed Sullivan's "really big shew,"
And saw those four lads
With their Beatle fads
Of long hair and rock songs quite new.
--- Travis Brasell
Who damn near started a riot,
With all of their hits,
But we sure loved those Brits;
Their music, their style -- can't deny it!
--- Travis Brasell
That they never lacked for a screw.
Old Man Time takes his toll,
Playing Hell with one's pole,
And sadly, there's now only two.
--- Frank Fazed
Who sang in some strange sort of lingo.
At beating the drum
He was really a bum,
So he eked out his days calling Bingo.
--- John E Mayhood P9711
'Cause someone turns sixty, they say,
Who once was -- it's truth --
The ideal of my youth.
Time did fly, I find out in dismay.
--- Eva Bekker
Not bad. It allays many fears.
Though he wrote much malarkey,
His true name, Richard Starkey,
Was seldom made know to our ears.
--- Liam na Beag
Rediscovers, with loud adulation,
George, Ringo, John, Paul,
Who make most, if not all,
Their successors seem poor imitations.
--- Dr Limerick
The o-bone-o-in-onno-san bliss!
I feel that this dame
'S Kurogane by name;
In the street I would give her a hiss.
--- Anon
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