MORE
Love Me Tender was what Elvis crooned, When rock and roll fame turned its pages, The young folks have something to learn, Ah, this is such a signal day, The Oscars presented this year Santa, I've been good for years, Dione Warwick, in line to get high, A funny old fellow named Blix Record sales were quite slow for the Chicks, So famous a singer was Dotty, Unique was the sound of her wail; Her life was cut short by the drugs, She was lost on the highway of life. She wasn't related to Scott, A woman called Mariah Carey There was a young singer named Melisser, In Dublin in streets wide and narrow, Though Patti LaBell can sure sing, Yes, we are on the same page; The Beckhams met near the rail track, Posh Spice just gave birth -- Did you know? The first would be Ford, not bad, true, You've read it in all of the 'zines: Get the champagne and pop the old cork; Now before I express my derision B. B. King is the King, and pursues And now comes the news about Scary; Don't lets forget Baby Spice! And then there's the stuff about Sporty There was a spice girl called Posh, A rock star of note, Tina Turner, A young Swedish Miss, name of Inger, A corpulent woman named Flo, Just to indicate how time does fly I love to sing bad G & S; Lawrence Welk, randy gentleman, he When Lerner and Lowe ABOVE attain, Milli Vanilli lip-synched Once Puff Daddy brandished a gun The artists called Simon and Garfunkel I once had a wife I called Cher, My Christmas is missing some glee; (hit a tree, skiing)
In England two 'street singers' stole "The Monkees" sang in Havana, What kind of love have you got. I heard about you and that man; Victim of Love, I see your broken heart. A tennessee woman went sailin' Michael Jackson's court case has unfurled, He said, "Now that I've been released, He tried venues one after another, Jacko the wacko looks coy, "Dear Michael, City Hall will delete, Did M Jackson have nose reshaped twice? Said that fellow who used to be black, Michael Jackson wants to do more A man told his friend, "I've a shack, son. His Never Land Ranch as sensation, Michael J's actions tend to un-nerve us, Michael Jackson's no longer on trial, A newpaper story, bewilderin', Heres a man that we like to call Jacko; Since Madonna gave birth to the tyke, Michael Jackson is going on trial Jacko, with typical drama, The public considers it wanton;
While the girls in the audience swooned.
Since the right word would be
An adverb, Tenderly,
The King's English should now be impugned.
--- Larry Hollister
The King started to fear for his wages.
Then he took a cue
From that old Rat Pack crew,
And learned to sing, Viva Las Vegas!
--- Guy Payne
And they are not quick to discern
The public's great love
And the song stylings of:
Patti, Maxene, and Laverne.
--- Al Weaver
As Charlotte's now a legal lay.
Will she hit those high notes
After she hits deep throats?
Welsh Wobbler, come, let's hit the hay!
--- Ward Hardman
Don't interest me greatly, I fear.
Though my heart isn't in it,
I'll watch for a minute,
To see just how bare Cher will appear.
--- Candy Zakrzewski P8805
But Britney has zapped by career.
So please bring me a song,
Skimpy tops and a thong,
And a pair of big hooters like Spears'.
--- Anon
Is surprised when her lipstick can't fly.
She remarks, "Though it's pot,
I'm a star, am I not?
I presumed I could just Walk On By!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Was laid off and placed in a fix.
The things got too hot
And the one open spot
Was the lead in the New Dixie Chicks.
--- Graham Lester
So they chanced an appeal to fan's dicks.
Not ashamed of the bush
That sprouts near their tush,
They bared all in a mag -- breast count: six!
--- RanDog
Devotees would make her life knotty.
To give time to the shriekers
And the autograph seekers,
She would sign as she sat on the potty.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2027
Our emotions -- she did assail,
Till drugs killed the spark
With news for us, stark,
And the sound of her voice was curtailed.
--- Henrietta Thomas
And partying down with weird lugs.
Did anyone care?
Do more than just stare?
My heartstrings this footnote hard tugs.
--- Henrietta Thomas
All she ever knew of was strife.
At each wrong turn,
Her heart did burn,
As if it were cut with a knife.
--- Henrietta Thomas
But both of their lives tell a lot
Of what happens to
The talented few
Who let themselves go to pot.
--- Henrietta Thomas
Of her energy should have been wary.
Was it because of glitter
That her dress won't fit her?
Or maybe her man is a fairy.
--- Julie Wiskirchen
Who liked all the girls to kiss her.
She was raking the cash in
And giving toungue lashin's
To misses rather than misters.
--- Bill Weiss
Old Molly would wheel her wheelbarrow.
She'd veg whithout number
But shunned the cucumber
In favor of vegetable marrow.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A hellova song with zing,
"O say can you see...",
Was not meant to be
Sung with a blues type ring.
--- Carol
Those song butchers are an outrage.
And Patti's rendition
Deserves opposition
From patriots of every age!
--- Observer
For Posh had been smashed out on crack!
They fell in love quick,
When Dave threw a stick,
And one of his dogs brought her back.
--- David Miller
And they've called the poor kid Brooklyn Joe.
After, would you believe,
Where the child was conceived.
Now my own kids, if I had done so...
--- Anon
But The second, Haybarn, a bit grue-
Some, and the gal:
Back-Of Gasworks, oh hell,
She'd have beaten me quite black and blue.
--- Anon
What Posh Spice's baby's name means.
I know it sounds terse,
But it could have been worse --
If Posh had conceived her in Queens.
--- Anon
A spice girl has met with the stork.
He's been named Brooklyn Joe
So the whole world will know
That his mama got laid in New York.
--- Anon
As to where she got in this condition,
Though it seems a weird fad,
I must say that I'm glad
That the kid wasn't named for position.
--- Anon
Koko Taylor the Queen of blues who's
A sultry dark whore!
But she sings songs for
Bessie Smith, the black Empresses of Blues.
--- David Miller
I think she was boffed by a fairy.
The result will be strange,
A kid with the mange;
Someone so ugly and hairy.
--- LadyJ
She's sweet and unbearably nice.
Try as she might,
She isn't too bright.
Believe me, she never thinks twice.
--- LadyJ
Whose backside is secretly warty.
She looks like a rose
When she's wearing clothes,
But naked, she looks like she's forty.
--- LadyJ
Finding herself pregnant said "Gosh!"
Now she is a nun
And will soon have a tum,
And think of those nappies to wash.
--- LadyJ
Was a young Fool in Love, but a learner.
She's easy to like
And since she shed Ike,
She's soared with her own after-burner.
--- Satori Press
At the stage door often would linger,
With ABBA in town,
She loved to go down
And blow Bjorn, that group's sexy singer.
--- Anon
Did a lot of aerobics although
She could ne'er lose a pound;
It was due to the sound:
Chubby Checker and Fats Domino.
--- Don Moore P9207
This is file rom
Please recall, if you will, days gone by.
Though "Four Freshmen" they were
Did it ever occur
They're professors now, emeriti?
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9405
Billy's words I can really compress
Till there're so small and shiny,
They fit in your heinie --
Well, they're pearls and improve the address.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Fucked women he met "haw and gee".
And if you came near
You were likely to hear
Hump one ana two ana THREE!!!
--- Anon
Will they get a cloud over Spain?
Their job there to see
A suffiency
Of moisture will fall on the plain.
--- Irving Superior
And to that, their Grammy was linked.
They put on an act
Which was fully backed.
I felt so very much hood-winked.
--- Julie Wiskirchen
And dragged J Lo out on the run.
He wouldn't get caught
Or that's what he thought.
Now don't you agree that was fun?
--- Julie Wiskirchen
Were trying to outdo a star uncle,
And the story they worked
Was of heating that lurked
In friction 'twixt hymen and carbuncle.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8511
Whose voice was only just fair.
And as everyone knows,
When it comes to her clothes,
She exposes her ass to the air
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'll decorate not a pine tree.
I'm lacking in mirth
'Cause every green fir
Brings memories of my late Sonny.
--- Larry Hollister
The show, and they're now (bless my soul!)
Out thrusting their parts,
While busting the charts
With "Op'ra Babes" jock-rock 'n' roll!
--- Anon
And were paid quite a few banana;
For musical lessons,
A chimp and a session
Gorilla on vox humana.
--- David Miller
You should be home but you're not.
A room full of noise
And dangerous boys
Still makes you thirsty and hot.
--- EAGLES
There's just one thing I don't understand.
You say he's a liar
And he put out your fire;
How come you got his gun in your hand?
--- EAGLES
I could be wrong but I'm not.
Victim of Love,
It's such and easy part.
What kind of love have you got?
--- EAGLES
Near Nashville with Willie and Waylon.
But not long because
Both old outlaws
Got down and did them some nailin'.
--- John B T9801
As rumors about him have swirled;
He's not broken the law
And now in a bra,
He'll touch children all over the world.
--- David Miller
I'll prove I'm no pedophile beast,
'Cause I'll soon rebound
And turn my life around,
And become a Catholic priest.
--- Observer
Each time stymied by some little boy's mother.
Jackson said, "A monastery
Is where I am very
Sure I'll bed a fat ten year old brother"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
But inside he's bursting with joy.
The Neverland party
Invite's rather darty;
BYOB: bring your own boy.
--- Sanity Inspector
The 'Dicks' from your sign, toute de suite;
As it's lots of work
And you're such a jerk,
We've changed it to 'Big Beaver Street.'"
--- David Miller Q
Does he think looking white's worth the price?
A compulsion he's fed,
Is young boys in his bed.
Does he use cash to mask chronic vice?
--- Esther Koch P0304
"I was recently under attack
For sexual assault,
But it ain't my fault,
Because I'm addicted to crack."
--- Observer
Fostering of kiddies who're poor;
To impress his fans,
But he has no plans
As to what he will use them for.
--- David Miller Q
I think I'll behave like a Jackson.
I'll fill it with boys;
Pretend they are toys;
If I'm caught, I don't think I'll be back, son!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Michael Jackson brings kids for vacation.
They arrive via Trailways
Or even by railways,
At the stop when they signal Mole-staion.
--- Hugh Clary
When he sleeps with young boys, SAINTS PRESERVE US!
But his Demo cohort
Screws us all -- as a sport --
In the quaint name of public service.
--- Arthur Deex P0401
So now every once in a while;
When he gets a bone,
Uses his Dictaphone
Up a number from his pedophile.
--- David Miller
I read while my coffee was filterin';
It said Michael Jackson
Had sent them a fax on
His new textbook, "How to Rear Children."
--- Hugh Clary
I think he is quite a bit whacko.
Did he molest a young boy?
And did he enjoy?
Or is all that info post facto?
--- Julie Wiskirchen
Michael Jackson said, "I'll do the like."
Though both say, "Our kids lack
Rapper names like '2 PAC',"
Either could name their offspring, 3 STRIKE.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9701
For actions, both heinous and vile;
But his fans aren't perturbed;
Like some children they're lured
And seduced, less by substance than style.
--- Limerick Savant
Came into the court in pyjamas...
So when kids took the stand,
He could get his right hand
Easily on his banana.
--- JARMO
She permitted her sickly and wan son
In the neverland bed,
Where it has been said
He fingered the star Jackson's johnson.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
MORE