A clever young lady from Grimes There once was a young fellow named Butz "To examine you may take a week," When I offered my cousin unique To restaurants, near and far-flung, An old maid who'd never been kissed, A couple from old Aberystwith, I said to my girlfriend, "It's clear I wonder who's kissing her now (where is her 'now' located?)
I guess I don't know what I'm missin' The First Lady said, "Here's your chance; With humans my kinship is sparse; A girl with a sebaceous cyst, And when I at last from you pass, A madman who murdered in France (sounds to me like a military academy - McW)
Said a divinity student named Cass, Said the lady in Framingham, Mass. Dear Mrs., Ms., Miss, Master, Meester, A day without grits? Damn, I'd miss 'em; My gal, in a rare pious mood, A girl in my high school class My pipes, although rusty, are clear. This sexual trick makes me moan; (r t - sucking anus while masturbating a male)
A cameraman from Hohokus, All of India's neighbors are pissing; To Harry, a lady named Kibbel I'm feeling quite frazzled and cooked; A Catholic couple from Laurel A Frenchman of high pedigree There was a young bride, a Canuck, She said, " If you really insist..." There once was a brilliant young poet, Good ideas can turn into wrecks,
This is file rml
On field day the couple named Cruther The English professor, MacMeech, A teacher of note named Miss Laurel, A wild bucolic sex kitten, They had sex in a lift in Leeds Town; Quoth the sage: "If Mankind can mature, A lady, naive and unknowing, I once met the wife of Jack Spratt Tamara, that marvelous vixen, There was a young man named Horatio, Said a tall, rangy doxie named Widget, I told her my name was Horatio. A boy met a girl by the stream, It seems we have an oral fetish; Sarah's a avid first dater; When my girlfriend slips out of her gown, In most of that year I'm a fetus; "Sixty nine was a bit of a flop," None sweeter than dear young Anita; At a rather too elegant fete, Two contortionist queers in Cologne You know what I'm trying to imply A maid named Lorette from Detroit Doctor Westheimer sponsors sex classes; Replied an old couple named Lovett, There once was a sexy young WAF, A nurse once replied, with a laugh. There was an old bastard named Grimes, 69 gives us pleasure galore, A Frenchman would never decline We could start off the night, kissing slit. He looked at her pussy, 'twas saggin', An Asian in bed with his dam (beef and clam??)
Ate a basket of lemons and limes,
And at ten cents a kiss
The puckered-up miss,
Was tuckered out raking in dimes.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who went out the first time with some sluts.
When they started Frenching,
He found it was wrenching,
As it tightened up both of his nuts.
--- Tom Patton P0411
He said with his tongue in his cheek.
First he tested her kisses.
"Oh, what a bliss this is!"
He said with his tongue in her cheek.
--- Lance Payne P8305
Instruction in kissing technique,
And swore my instruction
Stopped short of seduction --
I spoke with my tongue in her cheek.
--- Laurence Perrine P9004a
I went with a girl, sweet and young.
Like Singh's onion bahjees,
A kiss from dear Margy's,
A treat to the tip of the tongue.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Decided she'd no longer resist.
It might well be divine
And at age ninety-nine,
No chance that comes by should be missed.
--- Warrick Elrod
United the organs they kissed with;
They enjoyed the sweet sharing,
And did nothing more daring,
And she said, "You're a right one to tryst with."
--- Stuart Woods
I'd do anything for you, my dear."
Said she, "So you think?
Kiss me where it stinks."
So I naturally brought her in here.
--- Cyber Wizard
I wonder who's showing her how
I wonder if she
Ever tells him of me, ("Tee hee.")
I wonder who's kissing her now.
--- Bob Birch P0207
With my aversion to ass kissin'.
There must exist many
Who'd pucker up plenty;
Among them, though, you won't find this 'un.
--- Anon
You can't kiss my two cheeks like in France;
I've a much better place
Which will keep you in grace.
Hold a minute, I'll lower my pants."
--- Al Chaplin P2005
Most relationships merely a farce;
If you want to meet
My circle complete,
Come on over...here -- kiss my arse.
--- Gunjan
Always came when her asshole was kissed.
Her lover was gratified
That she was so satisfied,
But regretted the fun that he missed.
--- L0395
Lay me out and assemble the brass.
Please announce long and loud,
That the whole doggone crowd
Is invited to kiss my cold ass.
--- L E Ott P0206
Was elected our prexy by chance.
When he storms into class,
The cadets suck his ass,
And the faculty shits in its pants.
--- G1387
"I should never be fit to say Mass,
If I kiss the Pope's toe
And then failed to bestow,
A like sign of respect to his ass."
--- G1096
Admiring herself in the glass,
"I'm so pretty and sweet;
To know me's a treat;
If I could, I would kiss my own ass!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311
Whatever you are -- Happy Easter!
I hope that your habits
Are just like a rabbit's;
If not, kiss my 'young' Dixie keister!
--- Anon
It's shameful how you two can diss 'em!
To slam Southern food
Has left me quite stewed,
So here is my grits -- come and kiss 'em!
--- Anon
Shaved her pubes, then had it tattooed.
Now, while I'm down south,
Making joy with my mouth,
My nose rubs the ass of St. Jude!
--- Anon
Tried everyone else to surpass.
To our utter dismay,
She got herpes one day
From kissing each teacher's ass.
--- Ann Gasser P8706
My joint is quite sound, though I fear
I've a coupling or two,
I just can't get to;
New fittings (all female) come dear.
--- John Miller
She tugs my erogenous zone,
While bending and sending
Her tongue up my ending,
Thus playing the rusty trombone! (see movie Aristocrats)
Tried to capture the mayor in focus.
It turned out a loss,
For he pictured the boss,
With six aldermen kissing his tokus.
--- Anon
They're shocked at the point they keep missing.
They haven't resolved
All the physics involved;
Their own asses goodbye they'll be kissing.
--- Squeaky TP9807
Remarked, "I'm not prone here to quibble.
If you spread my limbs, Harry,
You can have a sweet cherry,
And your hairy banana I'll nibble."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1269
It isn't the scene I had booked.
I pictured a bed
With you giving head,
And both of us getting well fooked!
--- Anon
Were told having sex was immoral,
If a condom was used;
Feeling shame as accused,
They switched to the anal and oral.
--- Armand E Singer 550
Is Monica's new devotee...
His member he'll flex,
And right before sex,
He'll always say "Bon appitit!"
--- Ogni Gioia
Told her husband, "Let's do more than suck.
You say that I, maybe,
Can have my first baby --
Let's give up this Frenching, and fuck!"
--- L0389
I did. So she did, and I kissed
With hot-blooded lips,
Her rose-budded nips,
As we danced to the beat of her fist.
--- Anon
Who loved it -- wouldn't you know it?
When you'd want to six nine,
His penis would pine,
"I just can't," it said; "I can't go it."
--- L0422
As when oldsters try oral sex.
Take DARBY AND JOAN:
Both utter a moan
When their dentures made matters complex.
--- Norm
Competed; dad Tom against mother.
On track dad lapped mom,
On skates mom lapped Tom,
In bed the Cruthers lapped each other.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
Was fondling a girl on the beach.
She said, "Shall we fuck?"
But he said to her, "Suck --
For fuck is a figure of speech."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0853
Taught classes in sex that were moral.
There were tests through the year
Which were written, I hear,
But the final exam, it was oral.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0847
Whose beau, with her charms, was so smitten,
He suggested some head,
She smiled shyly and said,
"Are we talking 'bout givin' or gittin'?"
--- Bob Giandomenico P9707a
The endeaver at first made her frown.
It was quite slow to rise.
She was patient and wise,
So they had a great time going down.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Will sexual perversions grow fewer?
Until cunnilinctus
Is almost extinct as--"
"Malady's better than cure!"
--- G0883
Asked a fellow how long he was going
To nibble and lick.
While she fondled his prick.
He said until juices start flowing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0893
'Cause I heard that she never spat.
To keep herself lean,
She'd lick your shaft clean;
In return if you first lick her "cat."
--- Lightbulb
Her preference - a nice nine-sixin'.
'Tis said that she's abled
Like timepieces fabled,
Takes a thick 'n' and keeps on lickin'.
--- Anon
Who often indulged in fellatio,
With both women and guys
Who attracted his eyes,
And no one yet figured the ratio.
--- Chairman Steve
"Some things about sex make me fidget...
Like perhaps soixante-neuf
May be wonderful stuff,
But it's 'tres difficile' with a midget!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 277
We went to her place palatial.
She quivered and shook
While I munched in her nook,
And then she gave me some fellatio.
--- Dave Jersey
And tongued her and lapped up her cream.
When he thrust out his dick,
She gave it a lick,
Then he woke up; 'twas only a dream.
--- Actaeon
All threads seem to turn to the wettish.
With guilt they are fobbin'
And cock and head bobbin',
They really can be most pathetish!
--- MrMalo
She went down on Stan and he ate her.
If her first dates you sum,
Then divide them by one,
You can calculate guys she ate later.
--- Lilsi12
I'm dejected and tempted to frown.
For she gets her kicks
Doing 96;
Arse to arse and both upside down.
--- Bob Mornington A
Not old enough to use my new penis.
69's a fine year,
But as a position, it's clear,
It would take a long time to unseat us.
--- Anon
Said the girl as she moved back on top.
"If sex must be kinky,
Let's try some less stinky,
So you won't have a reason to stop."
--- John Miller 0076 a
I greet her with my long hard peter.
She sucks on my wurst
Until it has burst,
And then in return, I will eat her.
--- Anon
Where a large group of dykes arrived late,
A cunnilingulate whore,
And a queer from Mysore,
Were engaged in a bizarre tete-a-tete.
--- Anon
Tried a new way that each could be blown.
When their business was done,
They agreed it was fun
Till they found that each one sucked his own.
--- Albin Chaplin
About a guitarist named Bry.
His girl gives him head
'Twixt two slices of bread,
While he has a tuna on rye!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Kept the men in her life overjoyed!
She could sit on their face
Without any disgrace,
While she nibbled their joint unannoyed.
--- Chips T9710
Education, she claims, for the masses.
She says, "Oral sex
Should not strain your necks,
And remember to take off your glasses."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
"Unnatural sex? We're above it,
But sucking a dingus
Or mere cunnilingus,
If you don't approve, you can shove it."
--- Armand E Singer 981
Who answered her new chief of staff,
"Well, sir, If I may,
I'll meet you half way -
Let's try thirty four and a half.
--- Anon
"You nerd!" to a doc on the staff,
Who'd proposed, with a whine,
"If you don't sixty-nine,
I'd accept thirty-four and a half."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who bragged of his sexual crimes:
One in bed with a whore,
Sixty-nine on the floor--
For a total of seventy times.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0855
Still we know how to better the score
To 77,
Which takes us to heaven,
When we find ourselves getting 8 more.
--- Jerry Nordal P0301
To offer his thoughts or opine,
So I heard raucous laughing
And sheer pornographing,
When I said, "I am now sixty-nine."
--- Al Willis
If you like, gently lick on my clit.
The whole night could be aces
Just riding our faces.
I'll suck yours, you lick mine, till dawn's lit.
--- Anon
And his poor half-mast dick, it was flaggin'.
He said, "Let's sixty-nine"
She said, "That would be fine".
The next day, both their asses were draggin'.
--- Anon
Was intent on avoiding a pram.
He intoned, "Love of mine,
Let us try sixty-nine."
"How tempting," she cried, "Beef and clam."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9409