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Get your Signature Palm Pilot from While sunbathing at our blue sea There was a top model named Elle; A lovely young model named Elle Some people think it takes rehearsin', Fashion models are up in a huff; A male model from North MacClesfield, A sexy young model named Prude I must curse both Miss World and Miss Universe, A top supermodel, Ms. Campbell, Once top models were simplly athletic, The world's famous model's curvacious; There was a young lady called Twiggy, A bikini-clad babe, Tyra Banks, There was a young model named Tyra, She modelled her hair on the screen; Victoria's secret I ponder, Modern ways to enhance female form, How they yearn to peruse what's beneath, If her secret were known -- what effect? Yasmin Le Bon trims and tones; Trump found more ways to make a buck; Ivana was dumped by Don Trump. There once was a builder named Don One day he ran into Dave, Don said, "What could be sillier He returned to his penthouse (high rent); When Donald got rid of Ivana, Young Marla, who, history will tell, There was this vacant Manhattan lot; Do take this advice, darling lass: While researching Trump, my wife said, Ivana for diamonds seeks loot; Donald Trump the Triumphant was born Though you start every day with a jump, We do not agree in a lump To research my limerick on Trump, Known for his matrimonial bumps, On the tails of his planes he paints TRUMPs It's obvious that Donald Trump's "Wigglety Waggelty WITCH Prince Rainer and the Pope, much admired, An anonymous woman we knew, There was a young maid from Madras The limerick packs laughs anatomical The limerick form is complex, The limerick is furtive and mean; A disgusting young man named McGill, There was a young lady named Rose, (Usually this one has to be explained - McW)
There was a young fellow named Yorrick, There was a young fellow named Hyde, (And the verdict on both--sewercide.)
If Jonah had gone on to Yale, There was a young fairy from Khartoum, There once was a girl who intended, There was a young lady named Hall, God's plan made a hopeful beginning There as a young lady of Kent, A preacher by the name of McWhinners, A bather, whose clothing was strewed He hated to sew, so young Ned, There was a young lady named Wilde, She wasn't what one would call pretty, In the Garden of Eden lay Adam (There were only two tits--and he'd pat 'em.)
There was a young girl from Milpitas, There once was a man from Helsinki, A nude wooed a prude from Bermuda, There once was a harlot at Yale, (She had it embroidered in Braille.)
Claudiaschiffer.com.
But though strokes may differ,
There are parts of Ms Schiffer
That distract me from seeing her palm.
--- Election 2000
The Body, that's Elle, I did see.
Caused a commotion,
Down by the ocean,
You see that polevaulter? That's me!
--- Archie
In the trade she was known as La Belle.
When displaying or wearing
Latest fashions so daring,
She was paid by designers to sell.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Has gotten me under her spell.
This uninhibited Aussie
In "Sirens" was saucy;
Her calendars just sell and sell.
--- Satori
Without it, they'll certainly worsen.
But I have sex every day,
In a virtual way,
While logged in with Elle MacPherson.
--- Bean Anderson
Their conditions are getting quite rough.
Their very high fees
Are smaller by degrees,
As bosses say that "Enough is enough!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Had a contract that was signed and was sealed.
For last winter's display,
He was in disarray;
What he's paid 'twas not fully revealed.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
For artists had posed in the nude.
Since she posed with a passion,
This young lady of fashion,
She was oft misconstrued and got screwed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0300
Prissy prim girls who'd soon nurse
Orphans in Derry
Than strip and make merry;
Who'd ruin a verse sooner than moon a hearse,
--- David A Brooks
Has stated she will never amble
While dressed all in fur;
Good! We'd rather see her
In nature's own covering, gambol.
--- Satori Press
Then their bods were maintained by emetic.
But now they're selected
And opti-corrected
For qualities photogenetic.
--- Anon
She's intelligent, even sagacious.
In next season's clothes,
Or a calendar pose,
She's a beauty, she's cute and vivacious.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who secretly ate like a piggy.
One day she threw up
Sixteen quarts and a cup,
And she lost all her hair and went wiggy.
--- Anon
Is the cover, uncovered, with thanks,
Of Sports Illustrated.
That's twice, so she's rated
The top of the uncovered ranks.
--- Satori Press
Freelance, she was always on hire, a
Parisian designer,
Had to resign, a
Sneak told his wife of an admirer.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
The rest of her's never been seen.
She spoke to her lover
Who, under strict cover,
Made a wardrobe in pure velveteen.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
As I stare at her sexy curves yonder;
Mona Lisa she's not,
Jane Fonda's red-hot,
But what she's got's fonder than Fonda.
--- Joel D Ash P0207
Underpants and support beyond norm;
To transform and reshape,
Making males gawk and gape,
Midst the swarm every guy turning warm.
--- Joel D Ash P0207
Manly genes, randy fathers bequeath;
Like a jolt of strong brandy,
This sight of love candy,
Makes every stud burn to unsheathe.
--- Joel D Ash P0207
Perhaps not the one girls expect;
Ragged holes in her shorts,
Neither stalls nor oft thwarts;
A defect that drives men to connect.
--- Joel D Ash P0207
Always workd out, despite Simon's moans.
Spends her life in the gym,
She's incredibly slim;
As a matter of fact, mainly bones.
--- David Bourke
He fires kids as up to him they suck.
It's a boring TV show
And as far as celebs go,
The only decent Donald is a duck.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0406
He threw her right out on her rump.
His actions were rash
But the settlement cash
Worked out to twelve thousand a hump.
--- Parker Waterman P0206
Whose father, indeed, had gone on.
He lived in Trump Tower,
The seat of his power;
Tall buildings gave him a hard-on.
--- Norm
Who said, "Come into my cave.
You'll meet my 'piece',
You won't need a lease.
Think of the money you'll save."
--- Norm
That a tycoon with necrophilia?
As to that cadaver,
You can just have her.
And get your hand off my sleeve, will ya?
--- Norm
On just one thing his thoughts were bent.
That old masturbator
Did it in the elevator.
"I'll give up tall buildings for Lent."
--- Norm
He lit up a smuggled Havana.
He bounced the Czech
To clear the deck
For Marla, his key to NIRVANA.
--- Norm Brust
Soon had a big belly, as well.
But then she and tot,
Kept by Donald NOT.
He ditched her for new love as well.
--- Chris Papa
He thought he'd give it a shot.
He'd buy it for a song,
Then Trump came along,
That pain in the ass MARPLOT.
--- Norm Brust
Trade the Donald for someone with class.
Don't linger in limbo
While he chases bimbos.
Entre nous, dear, he's always been crass.
--- Kathleen Mangiapane P9005
"Pretent I'm Ivana instead....
Pretend you're a rich
Type son of a bitch
And twenty years younger in bed."
--- Irving Superior P9007
Marla's heart has been broken to boot.
His clubs they concur
That with spades they'll inter
With elan. Watch our Don Trump each suit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9006
This is file rjm
To swagger, but love left him lorn.
So he purchased six strumpets
And named them his Trumpettes,
So he won't have to blow his own horn.
--- Don Moore P9006
And play your cards well without slump,
You'll fail by those arts
In clubs, diamonds, and hearts.
If you win it will be in No Trump.
--- Laurence Perrine P9006
Concerning the financeer Trump.
Some think him a first-class
Fat horse's ass,
And others a rich horse's rump.
--- Laurence Perrine P9006
I found me three blonds I could hump.
Then nextly I bought
The lengthliest yacht
Then sold all my stocks that might slump.
--- Irving Superior P9007
To be Prexy the billionnaire stumps.
Though he's not as gracious
As "Bill, the Salacious"
He declares smugly, "Donald is Trumps."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0001
And on rumps of the girls that he humps.
But he signs his full name
On the checks for the dame
That he marries and awkwardly dumps.
--- Arthur Deex P9006
Main interest is in mammary bumps.
So when he is out,
There's never a doubt
He's not with flat chested frumps.
--- Harry Rubin P9110a
Ivana be wickedly RICH!"
She counted to ten
Then a small bee fell in,
And she turned herself into a Bitch.
--- Anon
Had long reigns and were both overtired.
But like England's Queen E.
The stark reality
Is they feared not fear nor Trump's, "You're fired!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0506
Was dozing one day in her pew.
When the preacher yelled, "Sin!"
She said, "Count me in,
As soon as the service is through."
--- Donald Dimock Playboy A
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
Like you probably think--
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass
--- Anon L1581N
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
--- Vyvyan Holland G2244a
Its contents run chiefly to sex.
It burgeons with virgins,
And masculine urgin's,
And swarms with erotic effects.
--- Anon (Bibby) L1621
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.
--- Morris Bishop
Made all of his neighbors quite ill,
When they found out his habits
Involving white rabbits,
And a bird with a flexible bill.
--- L1668
With erogenous zones on her toes.
She was quite onanistic
Till a foot-fetishistic
Young man became one of her beaux.
--- L1340N
Who often in moments euphoric,
Could upon direction (Could by election)
Raise an erection: (Have triune erection)
Ionian, Corinthian, or Doric.
--- L0258N
Who fell into an outhouse and died.
His unfortunate brother
Fell into another;
Now they're interred side by side.
--- Langford Reed L0709A
Instead of the gut of a whale,
He'd have a diploma,
A better aroma,
And a nice little condo in Vail!
--- M J McGuire
Who took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night,
As to who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
--- L0056N
To keep herself morally splendid,
And ascend into Glory,
Which is not a bad story,
Except that is not how it ended.
--- John Ciardi N
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire,
And burned her entire,
Front page, sporting section, and all.
--- L1169N
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the story
Will end in God's glory,
But at present, the other side's winning.
--- Oliver Wendell Holmes N
Who said that she knew what it meant,
When men asked her to dine,
Private room, lots of wine;
She knew what it meant, but she went.
--- Langford Reed L1591N
Held classes each evening for sinners.
They were sectioned and rated, (graded and spaced)
So the very degraded, (debased)
Would not be held back by beginners.
--- (Playboy Mag)
By breezes that lift her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And, unless I am wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.
--- Anon (Untermeyer) L1587N
Rang the bell of a neighbor instead.
But her husband said, "Vi
When you stitched his torn fly,
There was no need to bite off the thread.
--- Anon
Who kept herself quite undefiled,
By thinking of Jesus,
Contagious diseases,
And the bother of having a child.
--- Norman Douglas L0909
And other girls offered her pity,
So nobody guessed
That her Wassermann test
Involved half the men in the city.
--- Anon N
Caressing the teats of his madam.
And loud was his mirth,
For he knew that on earth,
There were only two balls, and he had'em.
--- Anon L0126
Who loved to indulge in coitus,
'Til a halfback from State
Made her periods late,
She contracted an athlete's foetus.
--- G1690
With desires for sex that was kinky.
He likes sex with things
Like coils and like springs,
So keep him away from your Slinky.
--- Anon
She was shrewed, but the nude, he was shrewder.
She said, "It is lewd
To be screwed in the nude."
But he wooed her, pursued her, and screwed her.
--- L0006
With her price-list tattooed on her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was a duplicate version in Braille.
--- Anon L1070N
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