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A fagged fornicator named Flynn We met at the airport in France, 'Twas Keats who quipped, "O, my begotten, There was a wine taster named Trilling, If Pamela Anderson Lee It's loudly the praises are sung, Today it is rainy and pissy From men, nature brings out the sucker. Said sneering Mohammed el-Din: I'm counting the minutes to lunch That old Aussie hasher named Bruce, An eater of pussy was Durham; But he was a man of great pride; The red-headed whore made a splash She knocked on my door and said, "Pete; "Oh screw me!" she said as she clung She squealed with delight and stripped off, And in came her mother Michelle in ...And he's merely divin' my muff." Girlfriends, wherever you meet 'em, According to fisherman Jack, A simple young girl was beguiled They met at the seniors convention; She said, "We are no longer young; I can't find my ovary baster; Reminds me of when I was young, The ugly old girl friend of Keith A Japanese girl cooked some squid Mellisa sounds like she's ripe for pickin'; There once was a Jenny from Luxor All women should stay in their place, Philatelical hobbies, I'd pick 'em A certain young lecher named Neal (a rebuttal to Neal Wilgus)
My life's been the quest for a rug; There once was a jolly young satyr It matters much more if your tongue A bright young attorney named Chase, Tomorrow's almost over dear, There was a sad fellow named Young There was an old party of Wokingham, (Published 1870)
A thrice-married virgin from Sutton While Cecilia, called Cess, will undress, I once met this three-breasted whore; There was a young fellow named Lunt There once was a man named Pete At eighteen, all I dipped was my pickel Come swim this way, little fishie All this talk of salmon raises fears; Chinooky, put your fears to rest; My Dear, come here where it's bushy. Chinooky, I'm glad to be had, Tim took out his stiffy to stuff it Said a candid young lady from York, A strange race of people are Dokks; And a flash of your flushed erect nips, I once had a woman named Fricker, While sitting there, twiddling his thumbs, A fiesty young girl name Peach, Where is that nice man who just said "I'd like you to kiss me," she said. On a trip, I was tempted to cheat, I just had a quite obscene thought, You see, Jon, your brain's not so lame; You're still such a fine looking model; She got in a sexual fever, The supersize model, Kate Krupp, While touring Australia, Miss Widney,
Said, "Concerning my yearning to sin:
When my doodad goes dead,
I just use the old head,
And work off the bitch with my chin!"
--- G0849
And it seemed such a perfect romance.
But now I'm Pierre's bride,
He just snores by my side,
And won't even take off his pants!
--- G0074
When 'Bama boys lick in the twatten
Of Mississip wenches,
Whose pussies are trenches
Of microbes, their teeth'll be rotten."
--- Anon
Who thought he knew all about swilling.
With his tongue up the ass
Of a bright girl in class,
He murmured, "This vintage is thrilling!"
--- G0914
Should avail herself to me,
I'd flip a dime
To see if first time
I'd get head or tail, you see.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For guy's who rate in under hung.
If willy's a dinky
Pint-size little pinky,
Just supply a nice dexterous tongue.
--- Anon
And I'm here to tell you now, Missy,
I'd sure like to stay
Snug in your bed all day,
While my tongue gave your hole a wet kissy.
--- Jon Gearhart
When that mighty hole starts to pucker,
Please promise me, Jon,
What when you get on,
You won't be forgetting to fuck her.
--- SFA
"Only infidel dogs put it in.
Back home in Arabia
We nibble the labia
Till the juice dribbles off of our chin."
--- G0844
'Cause then my time card I can punch,
And go have a nooner
with Carol the crooner,
Who sings in full voice as I munch.
--- Gearhart
Had a dick that was really no use,
But in bed with his Shiela,
With his fingers he'd feel her,
And his tongue would then lap up the juice.
--- Anon
His wife had a mind she would cure him.
She spread limburger cheese
On her pussy and knees,
And she figured that this would deter him.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1256
He took all of this in good stride.
Since the flavor was right,
He ate her that night,
With crackers and beer by his side.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1257
With the PANACHE that grew over her gash.
This curly red tuft
Often got muffed
By a client with more dash than cash.
--- Norm Brust
I'm a virgin and never had meat."
So I said, "That's a fact?
Let me check you're intact
With my fingers - why yes, you're complete."
--- Anon
To my thighs. I said, "No, you're too young.
But I guess you can play
With my weapon today,
While I see to your clit with my tongue."
--- Anon
And though tempted to give her a boff,
I resisted, but led
Her upstairs to give head;
'Til we heard a discreet little cough.
--- Anon
A rage and said, "Hey, what the hell in
The world are you doin';
Doreen? Are you screwin'?"
"No mom, I'm just suckin' Pete's swellin'...
--- Anon
"Oh I see", said Michelle, "Fair enough;
But I don't want to catch
Him a-plumbin' your snatch;
I'll have none of that underage stuff."
--- Anon
Want you to hold doors and to seat 'em.
Think me not crass,
But like that huge bass,
You don't know should you mount 'em or eat 'em.
--- Anon
For girls and fish use the same tack:
On catching that treasure,
Then give them a measure.
If they aren't up to par, throw 'em back.
--- Anon
By suitors who every night dialed.
And they smiled with delight,
When they kissed her good-night,
But the lips that they kissed never smiled.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0788
He said, "My dear, you are perfection.
To gain your attention,
I'd trade half my pension,
If I only could get an erection."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311
Our love songs were long ago sung.
Your phrase caught my attention;
You can gain my affection,
By using your fine silver tongue."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311
It's loaned to a foreign food taster.
But just settle back
With la pussy slack,
I promise you that I won't waste 'er.
--- Anon
It took such a long time to bung
My member inside
A mute of a bride,
I'd give her the use of my tongue.
--- Anon
Was blessed with a poor set of teeth.
But Keith didn't care
For her pussy had hair,
And mostly he kissed underneath.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0842
And made a fine meal for young Sid.
She said no one could beat it
And she begged him to eat it,
So he got on his knees and he did.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1296
Now her nethers resemble cold chickin'.
For in time that smooth muff
Will turn something quite rough,
So now is the time to start lickin'.
--- Anon
Who said to her sheik, "Don't let's fuck, sir!
My cave is so large
It would swallow your barge--
Dive in for an old-fashioned suck, sir!"
--- G0875
And be feminine in frills and lace;
"And where," they will say,
"Is our place to stay?"
The answer is: "Here...on my face!"
--- Anon
Over other endeavors with stickum.
But the only thing better
For collecting is wetter;
And with both, it's okay if you lick 'em.
--- Hugh Clary
Was always prepared for a feel.
And if given the chance
To get in her pants,
He would buckle right down to a meal.
--- Isaac Asimov P8211
This is file rfl
Somewhere I'll be happy and snug.
A burning desire
To stand and admire,
The hole in the rug that I dug.
--- Anon
Who when seeing a lass, would then mate her.
But when one grew with child,
His ardor grew mild,
And the next one he saw, well, he ate her.
--- G0904
Is so nicely thick and well hung.
Better than fuck
When on clit you suck,
And then your praises will be sung.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Defended a girl on the case.
He said, "You've no money,
But if we win, Honey,
I'd like you to sit on my face."
--- David Miller
I'm sorry that you're not still here.
I worked hard today,
Was ready to play,
And on your face rest my cute rear.
--- Anon
Said, "All my damn life I've been stung.
I was gypped in the shipment
Of sexual equipment
And all I can use is my tongue..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 214
And his whores said he always was poking 'em.
But all he could do
Was to tongue-fuck a few,
And sniff at his fingers while stroking 'em.
--- L0444
Said, "My cherry is bright as a button.
The Astronomer watched it,
The painter just blotched it,
And my husband just now is a glutton.
--- Hugh Clary
She may then, says her boyfriend, regress;
And if asked what he'll do
When she'd nude but won't screw,
"I'm successful", he grins, "sucking Cess"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
I sucked till all three were sore.
Then I went south,
Got her off with my mouth,
Then I sucked on her titties some more!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose girl had no teeth, out in front.
He said, "I don't miss 'em,
Her lips, I don't kiss 'em,
For mostly I'm kissing her cunt."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0851
Girls laughed when he showed them his meat.
But the joke was undone
When he unfurled his tongue,
And their pussies they begged him to eat.
--- Justin Alexander
But as I approach the double nickel,
I find that my tongue
And one healthy lung
Satisfy more ladies than slap and tickle.
--- Chinook
And show me the delights of your kissie.
Young boys I eschew
They kiss and not chew.
Plus I find aged salmon quite dishy.
--- Elsbeth
Makes me wonder my choice of careers.
But I show you my pucker
Then lick you like Smucker's;
Just please don't pull hard on my ears.
--- Chinook
Sixty-nine should pass you your test.
Together we'll see
Who is first to their knees,
And then who's the first to protest.
--- Elsbeth
'Fore it's over, you'll be noisy and gushy.
Now if you'll just spread
Over this fresh-dug redd,
We'll get busy and fill you with sushi.
--- Chinook
'Cause I' ready with thoughts that are bad.
New toys for our play,
Silk ropes -- can you stay?
I'll be gentle until you're unclad.
--- Elsbeth
Up the welcoming cunt of Miss Muffet.
But try as he might,
Her cunt was too tight,
So Tim only managed to muff it.
--- Michael Horgan
To a Frenchman who gnawed at her fork:
"My cunt is dripping,
So stop with your sipping,
And use your cock as a cork!"
--- G0924
In the mountains they live with their flocks.
And what seems most perplexing
Is their method of sexing --
Instead of their tongues they use cocks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0681A
Is doing strange things to my hips.
My god! Je t'adore;
I want to explore
Your body with my tongue and lips.
--- Anon
Who liked to have sex on the wicker
Furniture. When
We screwed in her den,
And on the table, I'd lick her.
--- Mike M TP9804
Waiting for his woman to come.
His dick couldn't do it,
So he finally said "Screw it!"
And he got her off with his tongue.
--- Stephen Ross
Had her boyfriend's head at her breech.
But instead of a fuck,
He kept giving her suck,
"You're no lover, my dear, you're a leech!"
--- Wes
He would love to just bury his head
'Tween my smooth warm thighs,
That are spread open wide,
'Cause I am attached to his bed.
--- Azul
"Between my toes, please bend your head.
Not there, Oh no no!
It tickles me so.
Between the two big ones, instead!"
--- Larry Wilde
But I knew I must be quite discreet.
I found "Kiss and Tell,"
A five-dollar motel;
As I licked, she said, "Bon appetit!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And it's really getting me hot.
The snow has now melted;
Prepared to be pelted
By kisses and licks on your twat.
--- Jon Gearhart
There's always a flickering flame.
It gets you in the mood
To get yourself screwed,
So come over and bring the champagne.
--- Carol
I'm here and I'm passing the bottle.
And as we get stinky
From having a drinky,
I'll slip my tongue deep up you're twat hole.
--- Jon Gearhart
And asked me to gobble her beaver.
I said: "If I must,
To settle your lust,
If first you've not let your retriever."
--- Anon
Blond hair, six feet two and D cup,
Received oral sex
From a midget named Rex;
It was done with them both standing up.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Met a sailor who kissed her in Sydney;
A sad sort of blunder,
Those kisses "Down Under,"
She found caused a cyst in her kidney.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0506
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