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Good boy, Sonny, I'm finally back; While you do so, I'll sit on your face Today is the day in the middle Oh Wednesday is always hump day; Chim chiminee, chim chim cheeroo, A brazen young cowgirl named Grace A gorgeous but dumb majorette, There once was a girl from Monravia, A young lass was eagerly steering A lady who lived at New Bliss, I've eaten hot custard off tits, There once was a southern debater Young Heidi would frolic with Peter When asked, as I undo my buckle, Seducing me with a nude dance, This morning, I awoke at the crack From your tone, I am forced to conclude "The man that I want," said Miss Kell, "Stop Sailor!" Sweet Suzie'd say, "Be a The sailor, he tongues Susie's slit, Said Gueneivere to her Lancelot, I dated a woman named Brady; There once was a priest from Morocco There was a young lady named Seaton, The tongue's an amazing invention; Now how could I ever forget Oh Jeanie, my dear, now you quibble, A lusty young woman named Stella As Stella sat there on my face, Young Stella, caught short for a pee, The fella then jumped to his feet His singing then went on all night The hours came early and late; Last night I was chewing the fat The range is free, come have your fill, I don't think I'm being seditions, The evening is still very young, While growing a little less young, For ringing those bells, all I lack A hard-headed cabby named Peter, I quickly got down on my knees, Miss Molly's a lady quite blunt; Declaring a bloody disgrace, What's known about SARS is quite scant. A horny old lady from Crete Said my girl, "I want you to kiss Said Kate, wearing naught but a grin, When asked for a blowjob, my honey, I know what you all might be thinking, Thought to myself, 'let me be-guile' The receipt can't be got from Ms Beeton, So to God I complained thus: Sir, Please! A germ phobic woman named Keeting, That tongue! An organ of delight! For a novice, a young lady deft I said to my girlfriend, "It's clear My best girl was giving me 'head'. Said a lady, "How much do I suffer A nice girl's in Dung Loo's dining den; Pam's partner is eager and young If pussy you find, it is found; Perhaps you could tell us all why When I depart with my final goodbye, 'Tis true, all that's left is thought There once was a young man named Jim, A lesbo, who sadly wore braces,
You're still waiting and haven't gone slack?
I've had fucking galore
And my cunt is quite sore,
But you may, with your tongue, clean my crack...
--- Anon
And let go a wet fart in that place.
I'll be holding your dong
Wanking it; before long
You will lay out a creamy white trace.
--- Anon
The week's half-way through, I'm a little
Bit happy but still,
The only thing will
Make me happier is tongue Carol's clithole!
--- Anon
Mid week is the best time to play,
And preparing to spend,
A fun filled weekend.
So honey start tonguing away.
--- Anon
Come Mary and perch on my flue,
And after that race,
Slide up on my face,
And cover my face with your goo.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was said to be quite a disgrace,
For she pulled off her pants
With a cowboy named Lance,
And she rode into town on his face.
--- Cap'n Bean P0900
Decided that someday she'd let
The drum major do
What he most wanted to,
So guess what the drum majorette.
--- Pierce Evans
Who wanted a lick on the labia.
She powdered and buffed
Her cute little muff
And finally got her wish with a lady-a.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Her beau, by the chin, through the clearing.
"Though a beard in the hand
Is a pleasure quite grand,
It's the beard in the bush that's endearing!"
--- Grammar Moses
Would stand on her head for a kiss.
When people asked why,
She replied cute and sly,
"Men go to my head when like this."
--- Tony Butler
And yoghert off other choice bits;
From big hairy cracks,
I've partaken of snacks,
And cucumbers out of their slits.
--- David Miller
Opposing a girl from Decatur.
He said, "I'm all mouth --
Silver tongue of the South."
To prove it, he got down and ate her.
--- David Miller
The Goatherd, who found it was neater
Than goat bonking. Heidi,
Who kept it all tidy,
By afterwards making him eat her.
--- John Miller
"What'll please you?" I say with a chuckle.
"Now, Honey, from you
Merely tulips will do,
But you know that a nice, Honeysuckle."
--- John Miller
My Katie leaves nothing to chance;
I'll soon come around
Now that I've found a pound
Of jelly beans in her lace pants.
--- David Miller
Of Dawn, just due south of her back.
Lunging forward, she said:
Here's your breakfast in bed;
If not, then perhaps just a snack?"
--- Lightbulb
It was not just the offer of food.
After devious feints,
And many complaints,
I believe that the Lightbulb got screwed.
--- Lightbulb
"Will buy dinner and drinks for a spell,
And with little persuasion
He will snatch on occasion,
A sweet kiss and vice versa as well."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0844
Honey, haste hither, make hay. Be a
Dear, on all fours,
Do drop down those drawers,
And lick at a lewd ladies labia.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As Susie slides south. In a split
Second, sweet Sue
Has slurped up his slew,
While the sailor spits bits of her shit.
--- Brian Belge
"Stop being such a noble young snot.
I demand that you kneel
To my wound that won't heal."
So a fine cunnilingus she got.
--- Anon
We necked in an orchard quite shady.
When she moved her hips,
And said, "Kiss my lips!"
I though I kissed the bearded lady.
--- Goofing TP9807
Whose motto was really quite macho.
He said to me once,
"God decreed we eat cunts.
Why else would it look like a taco."
--- Anon
Whose limericks couldn't be beaten.
She wrote about sex,
Positions complex,
And ways she would like to be eaten.
--- Frank
It bends and it curls with intention.
It seeks out all creases,
Yet she never ceases
To wish mine would grow an extension.
--- Tongueman
A gal who's so pretty (and wet),
Whose panties I've dripped on
So often and tripped on
The next morning leaving, my pet.
--- Jon Gearhart
'Cause some of you gals never dribble,
From fountain down south,
Until a warm mouth
Has worked it's way down for a nibble
--- Anon
Was quite in control of her fella.
She made it her place
To sit on his face,
While he sang her sweet a capella.
--- Ham Sandwich
She squirmed round all over the place,
Result was: my glasses
Went right up her ass; is
The doc still at work on her case?
Just showered her boyfriend for free.
Then she got to thinking,
"So much damn beer drinking,
Spells the urination of me."
--- Confused
Gurgling and trying to bleat,
But she had his face
In a butt-cheek embrace,
And never lost track of the beat.
--- Confused
Until the early morning light.
Along came a turd;
His vision got blurred,
And his face got covered in shite.
--- Ham Sandwich
His pecker just would not abate.
So he soaked it in brine,
With his relief in mind,
Convinced that she would not fellate.
--- Ham Sandwich
This is file rel
On Mary's protuberant twat.
When in came her Mum:
"Hey, can I have some?"
Said Mary: "There'll be none of THAT!"
--- Anon
It's ready and hot off the grill.
You're in for a treat,
'Cause this pretty pink meat,
Taste nothing like Texas road kill.
--- Anon
Suggesting that ladies lubricious,
Like lickity-split,
Men tonguing their clit,
As prelude to action delicious.
--- Tiddy Ogg
So to my appartment we've come.
As I open the door,
We fall to the floor,
Then you push me around with your tongue.
--- Anon
I find that the use of my tongue
Improves every year.
'Cause that's what I hear
From ladies whose chimes I have rung.
--- Anon
Are hunches affixed to my back.
But I'm straight and stiff
Whenever I sniff
A whiff of a Belle with a crack.
--- Anon
Was asked by a fare if he'd eat her.
He said, "It's not free,
I will only agree,
To go down while I'm running the meter."
--- Michael Donn
All breathless and eager to please.
With much royal grace,
She sat on my face,
And shot through the roof when I sneezed.
--- SFA Q
For handsome young sailors she'd hunt,
In quite boisterous shows.
So everyone knows
She caught one who's licking her cunt.
--- Gibbon the Troubadour
This voter's comment on the race:
"Don't like how they grin!
Don't care which ones win!
So long as I sit on their face."
--- Anon
And Hong Kong gals say that guys can't
Wear masks and lick twat.
But one thing they've got
To do is lick twats at a slant.
--- Travis Brasell
Found a bum on his back in the street.
She straddled the pauper
And said, "Though not proper,
I'm sure you need something to eat."
--- David Miller
Me where it would give me great bliss."
I hauled down her drawers,
But then had to pause:
`y target was stinking of piss!
--- Contused Q
"I have drunk all your whiskey and gin.
I feel fucking randy
So after this brandy,
Suck my crotch 'til my forehead caves in."
--- David Miller
Stretched out her hand for some money.
She took off her dress,
Then added "Unless
You come here and give me some cunni-..."
--- Anon
'Dive head-first, and then start a-drinking.
I'd try, but one sniff
Would soften my stiff;
Like tuna and pilchards -- its stinking!
--- Lightbulb
Handcuffed and blind-folded her while
I whistled for Rover,
Who licked her clit over,
And shoved in my meat "doggy style"!
--- Anon
But it's not necessary to sweeten.
Just start down from the waist,
Stay alert for the taste,
Showing you've been admitted to Eton.
--- Ward Hardman
Thanks to you for those fur-rimmed Slurpees.
But, Dear Lord, here's a tip:
Save my stiff upper lip
From contracting genital herpes!
--- Anon
Obsessively kept on repeating,
"See this sign by my bed;
Before giving me head,
You Must Wash Your Hands Before Eating!"
--- Bob Birch P0301
A marvel how it can excite,
With one little flick,
Or slow moving lick;
What time will you be here tonight?
--- Anon
Dropped her panties, exposing her cleft.
She said, "Eat your fill."
He said, "So I will,
But what do I do with what's left?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0806
I'd do anything for you, my dear."
Said she, "so you think?
Kiss me as I stink."
So I naturally did it right there.
--- Q
"Kiss me where it stinks," so she said.
"My darling, I oughta
Take you to Bridgwater,
But I'd much rather stay in my bed."
--- Q
When my husband, the miserable duffer,
Eats the crotch in my thigh,
And when I ask him why,
He says eating an asshole is tougher."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0884
She can satisfy every man's yen;
For a five-dollar bill,
You can slurp up your fill;
(An hour later, you're hungry again!)
--- Anon
With a beautiful butt, and well-hung.
But what makes her get
All het up and wet,
Is the dextrous use of his tongue.
--- Michael Horgan
If her clitty you grind, it is ground;
Feel titties, they're felt;
Kneel her down and she's knelt,
And mind that you've dined where she's mound.
--- Anon
That you like to eat at the "Y".
Your tongue, is it smart
At the cunt licking art?
We all await your quick reply.
--- Anon
I'll think of Maria nearby.
When my body was younger,
And I felt that old hunger,
I'd stop over and eat at the "Y".
--- Hugh Clary
When physical exertions come to naught,
But I find compensation
From another sensation,
Muff diving's now my favourite sport.
--- Anon
Whose everyday breakfast was quim.
He eschewed meat and grain
And even fish for the brain;
He was stupid, but happy and slim.
--- Anon
Ate pussey like Petty won races.
To remove all the hair,
From her teeth, she used Nair...
By now, at least forty cases!
--- Mike M. T9712a
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