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A young German boy, Simple Simon, His teeth were stuck in with a glue stick; An old doctor who lacked protoplasm, Come on guys, don't be so glum. A vibrator may bother some, A juggler of women I knew There once was a man named Ted. The best parts of me are my tits, As we stood there, she said "Why not neck?" A cunnilinguical lady named June, Yes lads, if you're out for adventure, There once was a zealous old Turk, A tomato you're not; you're no treat. So "All you can eat's" what you say? There once was a wheezy old fart, One night when the old man was lickin', When finally he pulled his face loose, "My douche?!", said the girl with wide eyes, I once knew a girl with the name Quite tame? 'Twas surely your fault, Perhaps, just when kissing her lips, Now that was really quite low Now Smoothie, there's no need to croak; His loss, too bad he just missed The pleasure of my tongue in the hole, Now my wife doesn't think as I do In taking a lady to bed, For starters there's Nipple Surprise, If a lady invites you to dine Come here my love, open your thighs; Some connoisseurs view with some glee Oh boy, if that is the taste But first, I must mention your thighs; Mons veneris I'll also embrace I will moisten just one finger tip The digit now covered with juices, For you labia lickers out there, I think it is like this, you see, There's one thing, though, now that I think; You men who are not up to par, Good marks for oldtimer Omar, If eating a cunt turns you on, I understand that not a bit. Not once having heard of a cock When women scream 'No!' they mean 'Yes!', Women aren't that fickle at all; You are so brave and so bold, I read what you wrote and was hopin' It's time, now, to just wait and see Kiss, tickle, lick, fondle, entice, I'm 'trapped' like a prison house con Although I have made many trips And then, after I'm through with it, Well, you sure know how to bewitch, I know that this lim's not about me; I am not especially well hung; Although you've a tongue full of snot, Now while I've been told that the motion Hey ladies...A question from Yendor, When cunnilingus I seek, You might have told porkies in haste, I never consume in great haste, My dental hygienist, Faye Ray, I took Miz Faye Ray's good advice, I've just had a marvelous bath, Your twat cheese is my favorite snack, And then when I come, I'll explode.
Was known by the girls as Herr Pie Man.
His favorite was cherry,
'Cause he like to bury
His tongue all the way to the hymen.
--- David Miller
His glasses were only an inch thick.
His hearing was gone,
But women would swoon
At the way he could make his tongue flick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tried to give his young wife an orgasm.
But his tongue jumped the track
'Twixt the front and the back,
And got pinched in a bad anal spasm.
--- L0425
Gals still prefer MEN where I'm from,
To tickle and tease 'em
And take time to please 'em.
(Of course, it might help if you hum!)
--- Kaylin
If gals use the thing just to come.
They don't bother me,
I'm versatile, see...
Hum HUM hum, hum HUM hum, umHUMMMMMMM.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had a tongue that would oft go askew.
While chomping hair pie
(Both her legs in the sky)
He would double-tongue wrong--up her flue!
--- G0867
His dick was bigger than his head.
He couldn't fit it up
A pussy or a butt
So he used his head instead!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And possibly the soft furry bits
That lie 'tween my legs
That makes some folk begs,
For me on their faces to sits.
--- Anon
(This very tall girl from Cal Tech.)
Her legs were widespread,
So I went straight ahead,
And I'm built like Toulouse-Latrec.
--- Al Willis
Offered pie to gourmand, Mr. Moon.
"Eat me", she uttered,
"All salted and buttered --
Use a knife and a fork and a spoon."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And getting a blow's your intent, your
Dick may get chafed
If you don't play it safe,
And go with a girl who wears dentures.
--- Anon
Who drove all the ladies berserk.
It was not with his prick,
Which was three inches thick,
But his tongue which he worked with a jerk.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0916
This potato will now keep his seat.
But if it's your wish
To be compared to a dish,
I'd say you are "all you can eat"!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You can have her but only that way.
For if you should wander,
This point you should ponder:
"You have to get it up to play!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who thought eating pussy too tart.
He'd deck out the juice
With that sweet chocolate mousse.
And says he, "Eating pussy's an art!"
--- Dave Canfield
He noticed his whiskers were stickin'.
The vaginal glue
(In whose hole? You know who!)
Got the geezer a tad panic stricken.
--- Anon
From the chocolate, the glue, and the juice,
He wiped off his face,
And then said in disgrace,
"My vomiting must you induce?"
--- Anon
"Why, I haven't since Will won the prize.
But if you insist,
I will spray it with mist,
Though you seem not to be quite my size."
--- Anon
Of Smoothie, and it was a shame
That that place, down there,
Was devoid of all hair.
To lick her was really quite tame.
--- That Guy
And not because she was bald.
Did you miss the spot,
To make her quite hot?
Or did you, too early default?
--- Smoothie
His mind filled with humorous quips,
Which caused him to laugh,
(the job done by half);
"Please serve me some warm fish and chips."
--- That Guy
Of him, and for her a blow.
He ought to blish
For thinking fish,
when he kissed her way down below.
--- Smoothie
There was no low blow from the bloke.
He uttered that quip
While biting a lip;
I'm sure it was meant as a joke.
--- That Guy
The G-spot, when those lips he kissed.
And to get her so riled,
That coming quite wild
In his face, she could not resist.
--- Smoothie
As it circles and goes to and fro,
The aroma so fine,
And the taste quite divine;
A bit messy but I do love it so.
--- Sissy
She thinks that I just shouldn't chew.
She cries and she moans,
And she screams and she groans;
Does your wife bitch when you eat doughnuts too?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
(I've found them much better unwed)
I tend to eschew
The Phillips head screw,
And rely on my little flat head.
--- Anon
And the entre is Honey-Dew Thighs;
Then we finish the lunch
With a lip-smacking munch,
But we raffle the lucky-dip prize.
--- Anon
On her pussy, then treat her like wine.
If you savor the flavor,
You'll do her a favor
And find that the taste is divine.
--- Anon
Your excitement you cannot disguise.
As my tongue darts around
Your sweet clit, you'll be bound
To start making those whimpering sighs.
--- Anon
Shrimp grown, where their ladyloves pee.
But sometimes I wish
For a little less fish,
Though I do enjoy food from the sea.
--- Anon
You long for, there's no time to waste.
I'll sit on your face
If that is the place...
Come, dinner is ready, make haste!
--- Anon
They are soft and so warm where they rise
To the junction of hips,
That I must, with my lips,
Gently nuzzle, while feasting my eyes.
--- Anon
This is file rbl
With my nose and my cheeks while I trace
The length of your lobe
With a finger and probe
The hood with a pearl at its base.
--- Anon
With saliva and shallowly slip
It into that spot,
So slippery hot,
That it causes my heartbeat to skip.
--- Anon
The finest a woman produces,
I'll return to my lips
And slurp all the drips,
With a passion unrivaled by Zeus's.
--- Anon
A question or two about hair.
Do you like lots of fur
On that part of her,
Or does it work better when bare?
--- KJ
Snatches are as sweet as can be.
When I'm perpendicular,
I'm just not particular.
Either way is just fine with me.
--- Dennis Taylor
If "down there" is nothing but pink,
The risk is reduced
That hair will get loosed
And find its way into my drink.
--- AJA
And no longer in sex, seem to star,
There's no need to get flustered
If you can't cut the mustard,
You always can lick out the jar.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0891
Who can't raise his tent very far.
His plumbing is rusted,
He can't cut the mustard,
But he's an expert at licking the jar.
--- Oldcoach
Then ordinary sex must've gone
Right out of your head,
Or maybe you're dead,
Or is Cunny like sex, just a con.
--- Richard Jean
Tom Sawyer went lickety split,
And most every boy
Since then's found a joy
In gobbling a mouthful of clit.
--- Richard Jean
That doesn't get hard as a rock,
While giving a lick,
I'd think that his dick,
Has need of a specialty doc.
--- Goin2later
Which means they want more and not less;
When you're licking her clit
And the lady cries 'Quit!' --
Her grip on your head, means to press.
--- Travis Brasell
Just listen closely to their call.
Once licked her clit,
And then she calls 'Quit!' --
She means you go in to your balls.
--- Juliet
To spell out the truth you've just told,
'Cause the AJL ladies
Will sure give you Hades
And hustle out limericks to scold.
--- John Miller
For insight, but guess you're just grope'n
Like me. This I know
Should a girl driver show
Her hand out the window...It's open!
--- John Miller
If AJL ladies will be
Incited to riot,
Or sit and keep quiet,
Like most of them are, except three.
--- Travis Brasell
And then you will spread those legs nice.
But once my tongue's in it
For scarcely a minute,
Those legs clamp my neck like a vice!
--- Anon
But like this stiff sentence I'm on
Got life sans parole
With my tongue in your hole
And your knees muffling screams of "OH JON!"
--- Anon
To the South, I've not eaten grits.
Since we're of the same mind,
Come for desert, you'll find
Some mouth watering lickety-splits!
--- Carol
Perhaps you'd be willing to sit
On my face for a while
In a more forceful style,
As I nibble and suck on your clit.
--- Cyber Wizard
Bother, and bewilder this bitch.
You're really a wizard,
A tongue like a lizard.
I hope no one here is a snitch.
--- Carol
I'm a much different Thomas, you see.
No charmer am I,
Just a regular guy;
The women tell me quite frequently.
--- Tom Accousti
My praises have never been sung.
But I get my dates
When potential love mates
See me licking my nose with my tongue.
--- Tom Accousti
I'm sure you get dates that are hot.
But none can compare
To Jon's tongue, I swear
That he can tie it in a knot.
--- Carol
Of my tongue can cause a commotion,
My being tongue-tied
Is caused from outside.
Your beauty brings hart-felt devotion.
--- Jon Gearhart
Concerning your organ most tender.
When eating your twat,
What makes you most hot?
What makes your head spin like a blender?
--- Anon
I want a tongue long and sleek,
Well skilled in delight,
With plenty of might,
That leaves you out Yendor geek.
--- Anon
But each of us varies in taste.
As my dear old dad said,
"When you're bouncing in bed,
To have more than a mouthful's a waste..."
--- Anon
'Cause I love to just savour the taste.
As a fellow once said
Eating pumpkin in bed,
More than a mouthful is a waste
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said, "Mister, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
'Cause pussy prevents tooth decay!"
--- Travis Brasell
My smile, women say, is real nice;
Since great dental health
Spawns great mental wealth,
I eat pussy daily...least twice!
--- Travis Brasell
And so I don't suffer Jon's wrath.
I've cleaned my twat cheese,
'Cause I aim to please,
If he comes down my eatin' path.
--- Anon
So please leave some there in your crack.
I'll lick it all off
Then give you a boff;
First front; then again from in back.
--- Anon
You'll think a river has flowed.
I'll fill up your qooge
With pearly white spooge,
From inside my throbbing hard node.
--- Anon
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