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A Lothario threatened his squeeze, To a flirty young girl from Marseilles, I never would drink Beychevelle (Bordeaux chateau) A bald undertaker called Harve (Chateau Bouscaut Graves)
A steward on board the Titantic (Cabernet Sauvignon producer in Bordeaux)
Prunella was perfectly pure, Said Amanda, a peach of a girl, The surgeon looked at the machine (chateau where Lord Byron claimed spleen trouble cured)
A Bordelais bugger elite A lass, if plied with Chateauneuf (chateau in Provence) Dear Archie, We went on a cruise While Jane had a douche on her own, Hiawatha observed to his squaw Une fille, tres jolie, de Dauphin A spinster from Southend-on-Sea There once was a stripper called Fleur Said the waiter, our "Entre-Deux-Mers (region within Bordeaux)
A conservative lover called Leon A mother whose hair was embossed, Chuck used to be frightfully dapper The wine buff was striking a pose, Seems Europe is suffering with heat; A sadist who lived in Saltash "Do not drink that," said cousin Pete, A newly wed lad from Arbroath, A charted surveyor, an ass, (Chateau Leoville-Las-Cases)
There once was a naughty old fag A bottle of le Montrachet (Bergundian chateau for whites) I was not far from having a fit, sir, "Do have a sip," I began. We are tearing ourselves from the plage A Frenchman looked up at the moon (not the moon, not the tune, but Lagune!)
Viscount Tipple, a gentleman farmer, A Lesbian lady from Luton (chateau Mouton-Rothschild)
A greasy old wino named Ray Mr Pratt is a bad tempered cat, I think I will always remember I'll admit, I have not drunk French Old Labour used to drink shandy, A dentist was deep into drilling (Bordeaux chateau and village)
I shall never forget dear old Pa. There was a young filly called Fanny, Pouilly Fuisse '69 Do smoke while you drink my Latour. (Burgundian chateau) (dry white wine know elsewhere as Sauvignon)
She said that my sperm tastes like wine, As the vicar stood by the font, he St John, a lovable ponce, It's so terribly sad about Clare -- A banker with money to burn A second year student at Girton Though her hairs were a little bit grey, Each wine has it's own unique flavor, When crushing the grapes with bare feet, For those that are labeled "non-sweet," Lately I fulfilled a dream of mine I once home wine-making tried. It was a dark brew notable; Tiny grapes make fine wines I have learned; Our Sue is not really a prude, She is often called Petrie Dish Sue, I think I've met your young Sue, I know a game girl called Anita Alonza has large grapes to crush; If a Roman was looking to store a Australian wine's jolly good; Now the corner wine merchants got cash Bulgarian Wine is the best;
As they frolicked around 'neath the trees.
"If you play hard to get,
I shall grab you, my pet,
And force feed you with Beames-de-Venise." (chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Said her uncle, the vintner, "Some day
Some one of your fellas
May start to grow jealous,
And ask you just which Beaujolais!"
--- Internet Lim Coll P9708
In a restaurant or a hotel.
I dislike wasting loot,
But if, dear old fruit,
You're paying do give me a bell.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Was quite indescribably suave.
He would not say a word
While the stiff was interred,
But unearthed a half bottle of Graves.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
As she sank said, "Milady, don't panic.
It's the lifeboat for you.
Leave your Branaire Ducru, (Chateau Branaire, very old)
Which frankly, your Grace, is too tannic."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Quite depressingly dull and demure.
Then Rupert the rotter
Grabbed hold of and got her
With a gallon of Calon-Segur. (chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
"I go ape if I drink Cantemerle." (chateau near Bordeaux)
Her ape said, "Amanda,
May I speak with candor?
I have some. Let's give it a whirl.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
And said, "Let me tell you, old bean,
The result of your scan,
And I speak man to man;
The trouble lies in your Chasse-Spleen."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Hoarded bottles for anal receipt.
The class of his ass
Admitted of glass
Only magnums of Chateau Lafitte!
--- Dick Buenger P8301
Will willy-nilly hit the turf.
You can have great fun
With a nice sixty-one,
But more with a soixante-neuf.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
'Cross the Channel in search of cheap booze.
Easy trip -- Eurotunnels;
Stacked the car to the gunwhales.
Broke an axle. Love Jane. No more news.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Will arrived, so she wasn't alone.
With a kiss on the bouche,
He produced Clos des Mouches, (chateau)
And she cried, "That's a bit near the Beaune."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Minnehaha, "The wines of Cahors (wine region)
Are extremely intense,
Just like us in one sense."
And he let out an enormous guffaw.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
N'utilse que Chabli dans le bain,
And some vigorous boys,
With whose help she enjoys
(A son gout exotique) coq-au-vin.
--- Keith MacMillan 81b
Was oenocologically twee.
She often would say
Of her pink negligee,
"It's my dear little Cotes de Nuit." (Burgundian red)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Who could hardly be termed "en primeur". (first class)
Though she spent her life tannin',
She could not bet a man in.
Perhaps she was corked, as it were?
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Is just riddled with devil may care.
When back it you've tossed,
At just five times our cost,
It's goodbye to a wing and a prayer."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Was fond of a glass of Haut Brion. (chateau)
His girlfriends position
Was always La Mission -- (maybe Mexican or Calif wine?)
She wasn't as pretty as Ffion. (Welsh girl's name)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Thought her six year old daughter was lost,
'Til she found little Nellie --
She was making fruit jelly
With her father's best Grand-Puy-Lacoste. (chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Before he found out about Grappa. (distilled wine crude)
Now from here to eternity,
It's bye-bye fraternity;
Adios to pi-beta-kappa.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
"Why this has a flirtatious nose,
As it's somewhat retrousse.
Quite frankly, would you say,
"It's a skittish young Gruaud-Larose?" (Bordeaux chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
It won't be a good year for wheat.
But all over France
And Spain they will dance,
Not for rain, but for grapes that are sweet.
--- Carol
Was extremely adept with the lash.
He would flog poor old Hector,
A keen wine collector,
Then he would flog his La Tache. (Burgundy chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
"I am saving that for a special treat."
"Here's to Pete," his widow spake,
As they drank it at the wake.
It was only '43 Lafite. (Chateau Lafite-Rothschild)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Just after he plighted his troth,
Murmured, "Flora my sweet,
Let us try some Lafite. (Chateau Lafite-Rothschild)
I hope you enjoy my first growth."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Came across a commodious lass.
For months he surveyed her
And then when he'd laid her,
He coveyed her a case of Las Cases.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Who, when dining with chums, used to brag
That if offered Latour, (Bordeaux chateau)
He would secretly pour
Some in his colostomy bag.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Retains a certain cachet.
It goes well with sole,
But on the whole,
Not with bangers and mash, eh?
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
While drinking at Maurie's Barmitzvah.
'Twas Le Pez '61, (legendary Bordeaux chateau)
Then some son of a gun
Insisted on having a spritzer.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
"Just a very small sip if you can.
Don't think me mean,
But I'd better come clean.
The name of the wine is Le Pin." (frog village same name)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
And are off to Bordeaux. The vendange
Has begun. Marry japes,
Stamp our toes on the grapes --
Can you taste us in this year's Lynch-Bages. (Bordeaux)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
And said, "Zey are playing our tune."
His friend Lily, she said,
"Eet has gone to my 'ead,
Pas la lune, pas la tune, mais Lagune." (Bordeaux region)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Entirely agreed with his llama.
They placed an embargo
On all other Margaux, (chateau)
But thought Palmer an absolute charmer. (??)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
This is file qxm
Used to walk 'round her home with one boot on.
She would tie up her friend
And then peacefully spend
The whole afternoon drinking Mouton.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Gave the dollar Lotto a play.
Son of a bitch!
The bum struck it rich
And now he swills Mouton-Cadet. (chateau)
--- John Chastaine
Who is also as blind as a bat.
If you feed him, he'll bite
Your hand with delight.
So I beg you do not a Noilly Prat. (the orignal Vermoth)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
When Kev made his pile last November.
"Give them Nouveau all round!" (fresh wine - no character)
You could not hear a sound
From the club that had made him a member.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
My dad said it tasted like shit.
But my brother makes wine
And some are divine.
Perhaps you could ask him 'bout it.
--- Liam na Beag
But that's not for Tony and Mandy.
Tony who's heterous
Always drinks Petrus, (rotgut brandy, also chateau)
While randy old Mandy drinks brandy.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
A modern young lass who was willing.
"Do", he said, "hold my hand.
Try some Pichon-Lalande
While I finish your root canal filling."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
He was happiest propping a bar.
With his nice cheery face --
Not a hair out of place --
All thanks to his favorite Pommard. (Chateau coarse red)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Who gave vin de table to her nanny.
With a beau worth a billion,
They imbibed St Emilion, (claret from Bordeaux chateau)
With a nice Pontet-Canet for granny. (Bordeaux chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Is known as a hell of a wine.
But a similar number
Done with Miss Cumber
Was found to be equally fine.
--- Stan
That is just what a first growth is for.
It's a pity to waste it
Even though you can't taste it.
But wouldn't you rather have Pouilly-Fume instead?
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
(Pussy-Foosay or Cha-bliss -- which is mine?)
This broad's got great taste --
I accept with great haste.
Come! I'll be your Valentine.
--- Writerman
Christened the little lad Monty.
Then he drove home full throttle
And filled up his bottle
With the very best Romanee-Conti. (Burgundian chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Retired, and decamped to Provence,
Where he quite often chose a
Precocious young rose,
Which he kept lightly chilled in two fonts.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Sweet, but so vin ordinaire.
Whereas Harry's gal, Pru --
A real Premier Cru!
Poor Clare -- she's so frightfully Sancerre. (chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Shouted, "Bring me a glass of Sauternes --
The creme de la creme;
Your finest Yquem -- (chateau for sauterne)
I might just as well drink what I earn."
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Was frequently seen with no skirt on.
She said, "I'm a doll
Who prefers Pomeral. (wine style)
Of that I am Vieux Chateau Certan." (chateau)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
She had legs and a charming bouquet.
She also was graced
With a long aftertaste
And she certainly went all the way.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
For one to enjoy and to savor;
But none can compare
To the one she had there,
And all of the pleasure it gave 'er!
--- Anon
Beforehand, I washed them complete.
Twixt toes. Toenails too;
Because what I do--
Crush grapes for a wine that is sweet.
--- Irving Superior P9710
But must in the market compete --
Aroma and zest --
They must be the best.
For them I do not wash my feet.
--- Irving Superior P9710
Without plucking the fruit from the vine.
I used a vintner's kit,
That's how I managed it,
And changed gallons of water to wine.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P2005
Got no alcohol on the inside.
Nor vinegar fume.
The smell, I assume,
Was that of a pure aldehyde.
--- Chris Papa
Described in words unquotable.
For, though it looked good,
No aging in wood
Could make that darn stuff potable.
--- Chris Papa
But be careful, you'll quickly get burned.
Fermenting is finickier;
This wine becomes vinegar,
The miniature Bacchus been turned.
--- Anon
But never says anything crude;
Though she did cross the line
When making some wine,
By squashing the grapes in the nude.
--- Archie
Quite organic and dripping with goo;
When she's tipsy, she'll splash
And plop down in the mash;
Thus providing the yeast for the brew.
--- Allen Wolverton
Who's nude when she stomps out some brew.
She's really quite fine
And always has time
To give head before she doth screw.
--- Squat
Who drinks home-made wine by the litre.
It's cheaper than whisky
And makes her more frisky,
So you'll have a good time when you meet her.
--- Michael Horgan
She stomps 'em for red, white, or blush;
But sometimes the juice
Will splash and diffuse
Up her thighs to her wine-flavored brush.
--- Mark Levy P9710
Selection of wines, then a foray
To ancient Icea
Was just the idea;
They stocked a great many amphorae.
--- David Morin
I drink a lot more than I should
I venture to say,
I could drink it all day.
Goes well with both sex and with food.
--- Anon
For I've bought all the wine I can stash.
This wine is so fine,
I'm drunk all the time.
I can cook, will you bring your sweet ash?
--- Anon
You've tried French, Italian, the rest.
You can sip it sedately,
As you ponder how lately,
The others just don't pass the test.
--- Raymond Taylor
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