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A Bulgarian man name of Bob, A glutton who went out to dine Forget all that Frenchie wine jive A lively old man of Madiera I once truly loved Aussie beer; In the West we all drink Swan Lagger, The doc was enjoying a glass Young Beau Geste was manning the fort, An old gourmet who'd grown somewhat stout, A snort of old port or a quart, The shipmates of Mariner Short: Sighed a vintage wine drinker named Norm, That night, when you've hung out your stocking, Courting the ladies with port, There was a young lady at court, After drinking large measures of port, Overindulgence, SATIETY, A gay guy from old Nagasaki, In the grape-growing region of Merritt, Oh Peter, my darling delight, I'm here in the bath, by the way, You wan't me to come 'round and play? Pavarotti, I'm told, is quite anti A Roman who goes to see Esther, A pale-skinned Roman albino On better cruise ships' sailing day, There was a young lady called Linder, It's said that the sisters, nee Bronte, To offer a flagon of Claret A bibulous woman named Garrett If a portion of loft is a garret, If I'm not working', I'm lurkin', A firkin might seem to apply, You gotta love a good rose wine. Expensive red wine? Well, perhaps so. There once was a wine named merlot When presenting a mellow Merlot, An entrepreneur name of Garrett Chateau Cardboard? he whiningly asks, In Holland lived a handsome young guy There's red and there's white, but no pink. Be careful when you drink absinthe; Dutch Advocaat is quit the liqueur; Sophia, a Tuscan Contessa, "With beer, Jim, I never will grapple," Though Swedes say that GLOGG can't be beat, I am sorry to let off steam, BYO? If you're stuck in that zone CHARTREUSE is also a drink; Sweet Chaton, there's no need to quail; To be honest, sausage makes me ail; An au pair called Sarah kept happy For the blues, take some Creme-de-Menthe, We feel that exotic young Bodd Since stoppin' the wine, I've been bummin' A Chester man sure loved his scotch. Oh, The curative powers of hard cider A golfer now out on the links A post Doc on daiquiris had a lock, Par was a flatulent Swede, Merrie England discovered no need There was an old woman in Soddy ...In any trad lim that's the most An old Alpine order monastic A drunken old guy from Yankipoo Upon the killing fields, our host
Drank wine from a hollowed-out log.
It made it so oakey.
And slightly more smokey,
And he downed it in one great big slog.
--- Julie O'Conner
Drank a quart of Canadian wine.
He was later found pissed,
On the critical list,
But the doctors predict he'll do fine.
--- Hugh Oliver 121a
For bringing my taste buds alive.
Canuck is best.
I'm very impressed
With vintage Kemptville '55.
--- Anon
Thought that wine of the heart was a cheerer:
He often would say,
'Put the bottle this way -
Absent friends! and I wish they were nearer.'
--- Published 1822
Those big tall blue cans of sweet cheer;
But that stuff gave me gas.
So sit here, my lass,
And "Have some Madeira, my dear!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Though some people think I'm a Fagger.
Margaret River wines
Are more in my lines,
Though I really prefer a good shagger.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
While ramming the scope up an ass.
He said, "The bouquet
Of this wine is okay,
But it doesn't go well with the gas."
--- John Miller
And was feeling bereft on report,
Cause the Arabs used SPAM
As a battering ram,
And would shortly be quaffing his port.
--- Mike O'Conner
Felt a twinge and much feared it was gout.
"If I drink now," he thought,
"Three bottles of port.
It surely will settle the doubt."
--- Yorick
Will usually furnish support.
For alcohol serves
To bolster the nerves
Of those who need courage to court.
--- R J Winkler P8405
"Though it's true he does not seem the sort.
In ports Christian or Hindu,
He's quite quickly into
Every girl into whom he puts Port.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9710 a
While confined by a gale to his dorm,
"Since my old wine's run dry,
And it's not safe to buy,
I'll drink any port in a storm!"
--- Prof M-G
From the chimney you'll hear something shocking.
It might well be Santa,
He's been at the decanter.
And now vintage Port back he's knocking.
--- Bill Wall
For danger you carelessly court.
Your avid pursuit
May end in a suit -
A sort of retort in a court.
--- R J Winkler P8405
Who said to the King, with a snort,
"Was it humor or shyness
That prompted your Highness
To put Spanish Fly in my port?"
--- D H Cudmore
You may find that you've been caught short.
And your miles from the Gents;
Well, it seems to make sense --
Shove the cork up your ass -- just a thought.
--- Bill Wall
Goes not with the sense of piety.
And as for retsina,
I never have seen a
Better reason for sobriety.
--- Daniel
An ostentacious lackey,
Claimed he could eat
The whole US Fleet--
If it weren't for his penchant for saki.
--- Norm Storer P9212
The grape-stomping maids like to share it.
They all go so merry
On Bordeaux and Sherry,
It takes them nine months to de-claret.
--- John Mayhood P9710a
I've had no fun whatever tonight.
I'm feeling awry.
My panties are dry.
Please come and set me a-right.
--- Ericka and Peter Wilkins
Waiting for you to come play.
I've filled it, you see,
With bubbly Chablis,
For it's coq au vin je voudrais.
--- Ericka and Peter Wilkins
I'll be there with no further delay!
If you're still hot and damp,
You'll relieve me of cramp
That I've suffered for much of the day.
--- Ericka and Peter Wilkins
The concept of Asti Spumante -- (sparkling Italian wine)
But give him Barolo
And he'll sing you a solo
Extolling the charms of Chianti. (still Italian wine)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
After he's stripped and caressed her,
Drinks Asti Spumante (Italian sparkling red from Turin)
And cries out, "Avanti!"
As naked they go down the Cresta. (hotrodding snow sled run)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Preferred cafe bars to drink vino.
One more bottle of red!
Eurgghhhh...my head!
Waiter! A strong cappuccino!
--- Rory Ewins Q
In cabins from G to A,
A bottle of wine --
A good will design --
Of finest vintage Cabernet.
--- Irving Superior P9710
Who sat all day by the winder.
Her thoughts sent astray
By a nice Cabernet,
She turned all meals into a cinder.
--- Brian Collingwood
After drinking their full of Spumante,
Planned to quickly flee
Bello old Italy.
But then they discovered Chianti.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9710
Is certainly worthy of merit.
But those who refuse
In favor of booze,
Might shun it because they can't bear it.
--- R J Winkler P8403
Had a tipsy and impish old parrot;
When she wanted a snort
And opened the port,
She found he had filled it with claret.
--- Limber Limericks
And a unit of weight is a carat,
One magnum, twelve quarts,
Thirteen bottles, reports
What singular measure of claret.
--- Hugh Clary
Or else I'm a jerkin' my gherkin;
Into a decanter,
Of claret for Santa,
And I'll have by Christmas, a firkin.
--- Hugh Clary
But the total's a little too high;
Though I have to confess
It's a helluva guess
And making my throat a bit dry.
--- Hugh Clary
This is file qwm
Its color, a clear incarnadine.
You can drink it with fish
Or any chicken dish,
And with cheese, it's equally fine.
--- Norm Brust
But why not try vino collapso?
It's cheeky and cheerful;
The price isn't fearful;
Though overindulge and you'll crap so.
--- Peter Wilkins
Which tasted like somebody's toe.
But a one liter bottle
Costs not a lottle,
Which is a good price if your po'.
You'd think they could refrain, but No!
Servers frequently mock
My ears with crass shock-
ing, most unpleasant phrase, "There yah go!"
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9710
Knew less about sex than a parrot.
And as for fine wine,
Invited to dine,
He couldn't tell mums from red claret.
--- Armand Singer
As he indicates one or two casks.
Cab Sav? Or the white?
Try the red; it's alright.
What the booze lacks, the plastic taste masks.
--- Anon
Whose libido count was way too high.
So to meet with his pleas,
He offered girls cheese,
And red wine too, in case it was dry.
--- Anon
For guests who prefer pink to drink,
Mix red wine with white,
But if late at night,
In white drop a drop of red ink.
--- Irving Superior P9710
It makes people rave and rant.
It can cause DEGRINGOLADE
Right on the esplanade;
When you try to get up, you can't.
--- Norm Brust
The contents of which I am sure:
There's lemon and eggs,
And rum to add legs,
And lay you out flat on the floor.
--- Rory Ewins
Got hitched to a eunuch, God bless her.
"Let us drink Amoretto," (Italian liqueur almond flavored)
Sang he. His falsetto
Quite quickly began to depress her.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Says Jane, "But I might if some chap'll
Want me for his lass,
Down many a glass
Of the fermented juice of the apple."
--- Tiddy Ogg
At New Years, I opt for a treat.
In glass nicely iced,
Not warm liquor spiced,
I quick down my chilled aquavit.
--- Chris Papa
But there's one thing that does make me scream.
It's not princess Anne --
I'm rather a fan --
It's Bailey's Irish Cream. (Irish whiskey liquer)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
And you fancy a tipple, don't moan;
Just go somewhere they'll flog
You a bottle of grog,
And return. But no plonk? Bring your own.
--- Anon
Made in Grenoble, I think.
Liquor okayed by abbots
Could give you bad habits,
But also might tickle you pink!
--- Barb
It's never been basted in ail.
So lie back and purr
As I give you a stir
(Or a shake) with the end of my tail.
--- Anon
Strasbourgs and Frankforts turn me pale.
And I truly am sick
When it's made of garlic,
So I hope yours is just a cock tale?
--- Anon
With a very large creme de menthe frappe.
Then she'd knock back three gins
And remark to the twins,
"Would you each change the other one's nappy?"
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
If taken at nearly full strength.
Will take care of your woes.
For everyone knows
It brings you much needed nepenthe!
--- Archie
Should give far more thought to his God.
He lolls in the garden
With the world's finest hardon,
And drips 'creme de menthe' on his prod.
--- G2267
'Til down riverside I went slummin'.
Down there by the docks,
The girlies sans frocks
Taught me the best Cider is "Cummin."
--- Anon
He thought it made him feel so macho.
One night when he binged,
He got really unhinged,
So now he drinks only gazpacho.
--- Laurence U
Can be claimed with no offsetting rider.
Two glasses dispose
Of a cold in the "NO's"
Of a girl -- and her mother beside her.
--- Jemstone P0001
Stops play at each tee for drinks.
Take it from me,
The drink isn't tea,
But a cocktail they call a Hi Jinx.
--- Anon
Liked walnut daiquiris in a crock.
No walnuts one day,
Used hickory. They'd say
"Here's your hickory daquiri, Doc!"
--- Carl A Benz
Whose wind gained its strength from his mead.
He downed one strong batch,
Lit up just one match,
And thank God: 'twas the end of his breed.
--- Michael Rohaly
In the days of the Venerable Bede
For acid or pot,
For coke or what not.
Teenagers got high then, on mead.
--- A N Wilkins P8605
Who swizzled a double hot toddy,
But unlike a single,
Which gave her a tingle,
The double one rattled her body.
--- Lims Unlimited
You need, to convert to a toast.
And as for the drink,
There's hundreds, I think,
Search google for previous posts.
--- Anon
Sold liquor in bottles of plastic.
A single small tot
Would upset you a lot,
And to drink any more was quite drastic.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Drank a bottle of cologne shampoo.
Said he, "It's perfection,
And helps my erection,
And tastes better than joy-juice Kickapoo."
--- G2749
Mid-morning stops to drink a toast,
"To those we injure;
One downs King's Ginger, (exotic liquor with royal assoc)
Before returning to one's post.
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
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