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Then there's Sister Ignatius Loyola, The nuns of St Agnes and Jude In order to be tastefully done, The poses are tasteful and simple, The nuns of St Agnes bewitch; The Nuns of Perpetual Flatulence "Those graffiti in the halls of St. Sarah's," The nuns of the Convent St. Mary Those nuns at St. Mary's cloister, The Sisters of Mercy and Hope The nuns of St. Candlewick, long A sister of Mercy, young Blanche, The nuns of Our Lady of Roma, Five nuns were out playing croquet The Nuns of St. Agnes chew monks "The rules of this convent," she said, Handyman Ned's disturbed, though it is slight; The Sisters of Vanishing Hope The Nuns of Perpetual Indulgence Whenever the weather is breezy, Their vow is to never change undies For that's their excuse to hold wine The Nuns of Perpetual Moisture The Nuns of Perpetual Wet The nuns that I've met could be wetter. The Sisters of Mercy and Hope The good nuns of the Sisters of Charity, Those ancient old virgins who mope The most Virginal Nun of St Claire, The most Virginal Nuns of St Claire, The nuns who are pladged to St Lou, The nuns of St Mary carve manequins The old nuns in the lift at St. Matthews The nuns in the crypt of St Pauls, It's well known that the nuns of St Rita The nuns of the order St. Vincent's, The Mater of Convent Colchester There were also the Nuns of St Pauls The Nuns of Perpetual Fun ...But hide behind monastary curtains The Sisters of Faith, Hope, and Charity, An overworked nun, Sister Nell, "DISGUSTING and VILE, Sister Pat; There once was a nun from Podunk, Have you met our staff psychopath, Totter? Said a nun to the Mother Superior, At the beach, priest and nun got a thrill, I was plumbing a young nun's interior It was rumored a young priest named Dorgan A lonely old nun name of Birch, A lecherous preacher named Ferrer A nun who's a nympho from Bray A Mexican nun named Sor Juana, To the church, an old pervert, a Persian, A nun's first occasion to sin, A nun from the town of Creve Coeur An expedient young fellow was Hugh; A polluted young nun from the mission A loose-moraled missionary named Percy, There once was a rounder from Syria, A nun told a priest, "I can dish up A deaf mute lay asleep on his back, There was a young convent-bound nun, A pious young nun from La Plata "Good heavens above and good gracious!" There was a young nun, Sister Harriet,
An itinerant Friday night bowler,
Who confesses her sins
As she knocks down the pins;
You might say she's a real holy roller.
--- Anon
Are planning a calendar rude,
To give us a view
In 2002,
Of their private particulars, nude.
--- Peter Wilkins
They've borrowed from Father O'Gunn,
Some copies of "Spread 'em"
And avidly read 'em,
While practicing poses for fun.
--- Peter Wilkins
You'll see Sister Marilyn's dimple.
I won't tell you quite
Where to spot this delight,
But it's some distance south of her wimple.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They're all of a-quiver and twitch.
I think they keep rabbits
Up under their habits
Or ferrets, which give them an itch.
--- Peter Wilkins
Indulged in the sin known as crapulence,
By gorging on beans,
Then dropping their jeans,
And lighting the gas with congratulence.
--- Hugh Clary
Said a repainting group of repairers,
"Are of nuns in the nude,
Erotica so lewd
To corrupt our morals and snare us."
--- Mike O'Conner
Kept cows at a ranch on the prairie.
And for a small fee, men
Could fuck them. Their semen,
The nuns sold as milk from the dairy.
--- PeterW
Served many a good mountain oyster.
They wern't from the bull;
The nuns would just pull
Them from under the customers joyster.
--- Dave Jersey
In the Vatican grow their own dope.
They're often seen giggling
And laughing and jiggling,
Around on the knee of the Pope.
--- Peter Wilkins
For the chance to be sinful and wrong
With the monks of St. Fells
But they only ring bells
With a teasingly sonorous "Dong!"
--- Peter Wilkins
From the convent's Parisian branch,
Gives blowjobs galore
To the needy and poor
As they file into church for revanche.
--- Peter Wilkins
Sell veggies in a stall down in Croma.
But parsnip and leek
And carrot all reek
Of a very strange fishy aroma.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In the park on a bright sunny day.
A gang of young men
Came upon them and then
"Thank the Lord," they said, "Girls, let us pray!"
--- Anon
Wearing miniscule edible trunks.
They begin at the waist,
Bend and savour the taste,
Before biting off succulent chunks.
--- Anon
"Forbid you to diddle in bed,
In corridors, stairs
Or in church during prayers.
It disturbs our poor handyman Ned."
--- Anon
His sad perversions we don't think right,
Like resting his head
Where a nun's wet the bed,
And rolling around in it all night.
--- Anon
Have given up liquor and dope.
But now they're depressed
And their life, has lost zest.
They do little but mumble and mope.
--- Peter Wilkins
Have secrets which need my divulgence --
With the Pope they don't rate,
'Cause they are not straight;
You can tell by their big trouser bulgence.
--- Anon
Aromas decidedly queasy
Come wafting across
From the fortified schloss,
Of the Nuns of Perpetual Cheesy.
--- Peter Wilkins
Or similar feminine sundries,
But nurture the cheese
Which collects by degrees,
For their holy communion on Sundays.
--- Peter Wilkins
And cheese parties each Sunday at nine;
Bacchanalian feasts,
Well attended by priests
Who believe that the cheese is divine.
--- Peter Wilkins
Feed all their male visitors oysters.
The effects, aphrodisical,
Improve matters physical,
When hoisting their joists in the cloisters.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Have a website now up on the net.
You can join them in chat ins
At vespers and matins;
A sure way to work up a sweat.
--- Peter Wilkins
Not one that I know fills a sweater.
But there's one girl in black
Who's a wiz at the track.
She's decried far and wide as nun better.
--- Irish
Never wash in conventional soap,
But they spend many hours
In their communal showers,
With a replica pope-on-a-rope.
--- Peter Wilkins
Are self-flagellents known for austerity.
Their priest told me once,
"Just sniff at their cunts...
You'll detect and odd odor that's carroty."
--- Ward Hardman
'Round the Vatican stalking the Pope,
Looking ugly as sin,
And oft snozzled on gin,
Are the Sisters of Vanishing Hope.
--- Peter Wilkins
Interrupted High Mass to declare:
"I confess that I'm twisted,
And never been fisted,
But the bishop once came in my hair."
--- David Miller
Wearing habiuts that smell only fair,
Are knitting each night,
Byt pale candlelight,
With thick threads of their own pubic hair.
--- David Miller
Desire only one thing to do;
Every one of them hopes
To screw bishops and popes,
And take cardinals up the wazoo.
--- Ward Hardman
In the image of Father O'Flannagan's
Nude body and when
They've completed them, then
They indulge in unholy shenanigans.
--- Peter Wilkins
Eat buckets and buckets of cashews,
For breakfast and lunch
And for dinner and brunch,
Then make unholy smells in the church pews.
--- Mystelle
This is file qwl
With graffiti have screawled on the walls.
They have written some shit
About sucking a tit,
And the size of the new Bishop's balls.
--- David Miller
Paint the town weekend nights incognita.
In the day, they seem pure,
So refined and demure;
You'd not guess that each one's a Lolita!
--- Ward Hardman
Who revel while shrouded by incense,
Confess on a Friday,
And deeply in Piety,
Aver that they haven't had sin since.
--- Anon
Did sate her with Brother Sylvester,
Who cried, "Sainted God!
She had tainted my cod!"
When later it started to fester.
--- G1098
Who used to do turns on the halls.
For the price of a gin
They'd let anyone win,
Playing strip poker down in the stalls.
--- Richard Jean
Strip naked and lie in the sun;
But merly to tease
The young monks of St. Bees,
Who would love to have fun with a nun...
--- Peter Wilkins
To stare at the big ones and pert 'uns.
The nuns merely giggle
While watching them jiggle
And laugh at their juvenile squirtin's.
--- Peter Wilkins
No longer require austerity.
They're wild and free
And meet life with glee.
They are now renowned for vulgarity.
--- Marlene Lewis
Was forced to give sex, sick or well,
And thus add to the gaiety
Of the resident laity
(Her term for the monks in the cell).
--- Armand E Singer 226
You won't get to Heaven like THAT!"
"So that's what you think",
She said, diddling her pink,
"Well I've already been, you old bat."
--- Peter Wilkins
Who had so much sex that she stunk.
But the Bishop caught wind,
Lost control -- with her sinned,
And when finished he buggered a monk.
--- Bob Birch
A typical shite and a rotter.
His idea of fun
Is to bugger a nun,
Or else some impoverished squatter.
--- G1069
"I'd like to get it in the interior,
But my pussy's real sore,
(I once was a whore)
So I better get it up the exterior.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But she's the one stuck with the bill.
Nothin' says lovin'
Like a bun in the oven --
Next time, she'll remember her pill!
--- Kaylin
When in walked the Mother Superior.
With the grimmest of smiles
She said, "If you've piles,
Pray the Bishop finds you most inferior..."
--- John Miller 0260
Was hung like an eighteen hand Morgan.
He was chased round the church
By two nuns on research
Till they caught him at last by the organ.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8907
Enticed a young boy in her search.
When she asked how he fared,
He replied, as he stared,
"It's like singing alone in the church."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0404
Left a nun with a feeling of terror.
For her belly did swell,
But he said, "What the hell,
It is merely a clerical error."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1017
Would wear out a cucumber a day.
Kept under her habit,
She'd go like a rabbit,
Fall down on her knees and then pray.
--- Barbara Cunningham P9603
Was hot as a wop primadonna.
But when the old bishop
Could not get his fish up,
She said, "Anyhow, I don' wanna."
--- L1659
Willed a sum for post mortem perversion;
Also false teeth and prick
For the sixty nine trick,
Which the nuns found a pleasant diversion.
--- Albin Chaplin
Had her screaming and shouting "AMEN!"
A hell of a roister,
Right there in the cloister,
Then she prayed, "God! Let's do it again!"
--- John Griffin
Was extremely confused, as it were;
When, from one point of view
She attempted to do
Unto him what he did unto her.
--- Hugh Oliver A072BA
In church he knew just what to do.
While the priest was exhorting
On immoral cavorting,
He was fucking a nun in the pew.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0207
Got pregnant and found herself wishin'
That she'd not gone so far
With the priest in his car,
Till controls were installed on emission.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1061
Who was well educated and versy,
Said to a young nun,
As he finished his fun,
"That was an emission of mercy."
--- DireWolf
Who entered a convent's interior.
Ere they loosed him -- what luck --
The dear man had to fuck
All the nuns and the Mother Superior.
--- G1162
A sport capping any you'll wish up.
Played by two, not by one,
And by far give more fun
Than you'll ever get flogging the bishop."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9101
When a breeze showed two nuns what he packed.
Said the nuns, "Looks like fun!
He can't tell anyone!"
So they led him away to a shack.
--- David Finely
Who decided she must have some fun.
She climbed over the wall,
When in town, had a ball
Doing things that no nun should have done.
--- Warrick Elrod
Was blessed with the holy stigmata.
They appeared at the rim
Of her virginal quim
When she did what she shouldn't have otta.
--- G1128
Cried Sister Tamara Bodacious,
"I thought I was dreaming
Of creaming, you scheming
And wicked young Brother Ignatius."
--- Peter Wilkins
Who made love in her motorized chariot.
Too bad she got caught,
And to justice was brought.
They now call her Judith Iscariot!
--- Rick Limer T9711
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