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Said a nun, undoing her wimple, Those nuns echoed peals of laughter, I just don't know how to begin, The nuns in the Convent St Reet, She's hiding, I've heard, in Larocque, There was a young nun named Crockery, There was a young nun from Siberia What a night at the Sausage and Porter! A nun of an order inferior As a nun little Jane was inferior Sister Anne, as a num, was inferior; Sister Anne, as a nun, was inferior; There once was a nun from St Howe There once was a man from Verdun, There now is a nun they call Babs, A big Irish rowdy named Ririe An order religious of Perth "Rejoice! For my coming is nigh!" A nun, Sister Mary, from Ghent There was a young plumber, McNary, Most missions would set up a nunnery; So you're costing the church some big money At the beach, the priest and the nun Her sex was an act of VOLITION, We nuns are just creatures of habit, A hairy old man from Cape Verde Mind boggling, the acts of Bill Finn! There were two young nuns named Elias; There once was a monk from the abbey, I believe in the power of the church There was a young nun name of Hunt, 'Twas a lusty young lad from the Sault, An Italian painter named Giotto, "Any port is a storm!" was his motto.
In the Chapel Sistine, old nun Tealing A nun had an affair, one of "those"-a, A soldier rewarded for gunnery, The priests in the rectory hall There was an old priest name of Parches There once was a man from Verdun, There was an old nun name of Gore Eight years is a very long time A nun with a pious affinity The nuns, they are going ahead; A nun had an amorous swain; Mother Superior said, "Anne, The Sister, she cried out with soul, The Mother Superior's interior While at stool the old bishop was straining, In answer, the priest of North Junction Whatever was under her habit, When woman is gripped with the fever, A rabbi, two nuns, and a priest The rabbi said, "Father, that's sinful. I must find myself a disguise Strap my dick down with duct tape and glue; [Knock knock] "I'm a poor little nun; "Yes, Mother Superior, food "But, Mother Superior, who "Oh her - the novitiate nun; Let me talk to her. "Petal, my sweet, The Bishop came by, very grim; Said Mother Superior, "True, A nun who's attacked from the rear, A Catholic schoolboy, quite young I fancied a nun, Sister Rose; And then came a rushing great wind; "That meeting between cheek and jowl,
"If, Father Fred, You'd my quim pull,
Let me find the zips,
Straps, buckles and clips.
You lie back--let's just keep it simple."
--- Tony Davie
Each one, as you tried to shaft her.
Last time you were here,
They chortled a year,
But politely, they waited 'til after.
--- Spuddie
'Cause I'm feeling rather sanguine.
Imaging the fun
Of a bonk with a nun;
Perhaps its like stuffing a penguin!
--- Anon
(The ones we do so like to meet),
They make so much more
Than a plain common whore;
Their makers they do often greet!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Where nuns walk the streets for a cocque;
In panties of satin
While praying in Latin:
"High heavens, I need a great focque!"
--- Travis Brasell
Who was seized by a monk in the Lockerie.
She said, "Listen, Abbot,
You've come on my habit,
This isn't a fuck, it's a mockery!"
--- Anon
Endowed with a virgin interior --
Until an old monk
Jumped into her bunk,
And now she's the Mother Superior.
--- Anon
Several Nuns had come in for a snorter,
While a Priest dressed in black,
Was enjoying the crack,
Of the Mother Superior's daughter.
--- Mad O'Rourke's Pub P0204
Entertained priests upon her posterior.
She grew greater in girth,
Gave Immaculate Birth,
And now she's a Mother Superior.
--- G1116
'Til an intern got in her interior.
Her response was exquisite
To this hospital visit,
And now she's a Mother Superior.
--- John Miller
Left the Church and felt somewhat cheerier.
But just couldn't stop
Having sex from the top,
So now she's a mother, superior.
--- Q
Left the Church and felt somewhat cheerier.
But she just couldn't stop
Having sex with the top,
So now she's a mother, superior.
--- John Miller
Who'd broken her chastity vow.
A priest know as Babbitt
Got into her habit.
She's a mother superior now.
--- David Miller
Who tried to seduce a young nun.
"While I'm not in the habit,
And quite far from the Abbot,
How else will I have any fun."
--- VOL 10
Who lurks on the dockside and grabs
The trawlerman's bollocks
And offers them frolics
But charges them nowt for the crabs.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was prowling around in a priory,
And there grabbed a sister,
A passive resister,
And would up a note in "Dear Diary."
--- Armand E Singer 964
Attracted young ladies of worth.
They found the baptismal,
A rite not too dismal,
But the postulants often gave birth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1421
Said the vision she had from on high.
"Oh my God!" screamed the nun,
As she finished her fun,
"Allelujah! All over my thigh!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Had orgasms only in Lent.
Her priest said. "I know,
I said 'something' forgo,
But chastity's not what I meant."
--- Peter Wilkins
With erections that hardly would vary.
In a girl's school one night,
Before morning light,
He knocked up the whole seminary!
--- G0653
Missionaries would use them for funnery.
They'd recruit from the locals
And poke all their pokeless;
All resistance was dealt with by gunnery.
--- Anon
Cloning nuns? That's really too funny.
A test tube it was not
In Sister Jo's honeypot.
You forgot the rubber, you dummy!
--- Frank Fazed
Forgot their vows and had fun.
But now it's December,
And well they remember,
For six months she's been baking a bun.
--- MrMalo
Which left her in pregnant condition.
And since she was nun,
The first to be done
Was to offer up act of contrition.
--- Chris Papa
Forced to emulate ol' G. F Babbit;
But our sex life's quite normal,
Not at all dull or formal...
We don't sweat the death of the rabbit.
--- Arthur Deex P9308
Proceeded apace to rape thirty
Novices from the convent.
He repeatedly came; went;
The girls all shouted, "Ape! Dirty!"
--- James Waite P9211
The vulvas his prick has been in!
The tits he has stroked;
The nuns he has poked;
The lusty delights of raw sin!
--- Armand E Singer 381
Said one, "I think we are too pious.
There's a ship in the port,
We must join in the sport.
Let us see if two sailors will buy us."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1010
Whose past was decidedly shabby.
He probed the interior
Of the Mother Superior,
And found it surprisingly scabby.
--- David Miller
And Nuns who can handle the birch.
Note: coming just twice
Is not very nice;
It leaves most of them in the lurch.
--- Anon
Who swore in her manner so blunt,
That she lived like a saint,
But her lies were so quaint --
You could tell by the wear on her cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1036
Who would ask all the girls, "Do you screw?"
When he once, just for fun,
Propositioned a nun,
He was stunned by her gentle, "I do!"
--- Keith MacMillan 76b
Seduced a nun in a grotto.
The result of his crime, (To her shriveled-up cunny)
Was two boys at one time. (He preferred her fat bunny:)
"Give your sons to the church," was his motto.
--- G0979
This is file qvl
Described all the frescoes with feeling,
Which much pleased an old visitor,
And she told the inquisitor,
That when floored, she would study the ceiling.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1097
When abbess found out, I suppose-a.
She stopped it dead cold
And sister was told,
To keep it all very SUB ROSA.
--- Chris Papa
Invaded the halls of a nunnery.
He taught the nuns joys
And the secrets of boys--
Now it's a coeducational funnery.
--- G1115
Are taught by the nuns how to ball;
Mixed in with the hugs,
The sisters use drugs;
It's one high mass orgy for all!
--- Mark Levy P9409
Who took all the nuns out on marches.
From a brisk walk around
They returned safe and sound,
Then he screwed three or four 'neath the arches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1068
Who tried to seduce a young nun.
He tried it in front,
But got only a grunt,
So he decided to try in the bun!
--- VOL 10
Whose cunt was all festered and sore.
Since she needed some jack,
She sewed tits on her back,
And she set herself up as a whore.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1032
To figure this most simple rhyme.
The soap was so slick,
'Twas used for a dick.
The nuns wore it out in no time.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For priests took a course in divinity.
They were fun to work under,
But it caused her to wonder
If that's how she lost her virginity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0962
Once again they are in my bed.
No sucking this time;
They are waiting in line
To have their turn on my pecker's head.
--- Mike H
She prayed for His guidance, in vain.
Till he guided and led
The young nun into bed.
Now she prays for his guidance again.
--- Michael Polo P8907
Now you've left us to marry Stan;
Just us two old Mothers
Should measure the Brothers
And find out who'll be the best man."
--- David Miller
And surrendered her sense of control,
While Father McGhee
Began moaning with glee,
With his pecker inside of her hole.
--- Cap'n Bean
Is stinkier still, and they fear of her.
But if you ask Sam Nunn,
Who's had fun in her bun,
'Tis not such a stench as Nigerier
--- Anon
He developed a thought entertaining.
He had proof by the ton
That a whore could be nun,
Without further instruction or training.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1094
Remarked without fear or compunction,
He had proofs by the score
That a nun could be whore,
Without training or further instruction.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1095
My only impulse was to stab it.
But such was me luck,
That after the ruck,
Her beaver resembled a rabbit.
--- Anon
And you can't oblige, then just leave her.
Don't be like those guys
Who met their demise,
By taking dead rabbits to beaver.
--- SFA
Were drinking and all getting greased.
When the sisters undressed,
Their bottoms were blessed
With the mark of the one-eyed beast.
--- MrMalo
We'll atone with prayers by the binful."
Said the priest, "Sound great,
But why don't we wait;
I mean now that the sisters are ginful...."
--- MrMalo
That will fool them all (stupid or wise).
I'll dress up as a nun
(Sister Petra) for fun;
Shave my chest, legs, face, ass, arms and thighs.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Put my habit and sandals on too;
And cry, "Sanctuary, Mother
Superior" or other
Such nonsense. (I think that will do).
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I've been walking for days tired and hun-
gry. I'm down on my knees
Begging Sanctuary, please
Mother. Thank you." (Hehe, this is fun.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would undoubtedly brighten my mood.
The refectory's here?
Oh good gracious! Oh dear!
Those courgettes appear terribly rude?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is the sister there having a screw
With that corn-on-the-cob
In the shape of a knob?"
[I suspect, my dear Petal, it's you.]
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She'll screw anything under the sun
In or out of her cell.
At communion as well,
And from vespers to twenty past one."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Surely corncobs are meant to be eat-
en? You're much better off
With a regular boff,
And a stuffing of throbbing hard meat."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And jealous 'cause it wasn't him,
And said "It's a sin,
Whatever your in,
But the pennance is leaset for the quim."
--- John Miller
But a cuke just this long, Anne, would do."
With her hand to her ear,
Old Anne (she's a dear)
Looked puzzled and said, "Father who?"
--- John Miller
Has certainly nothing to fear,
From having a child
Or being defiled
By John Miller's minuscule gear.
--- David Miller
Took old Sister Anne up the bung.
She scolded, "The cunt
Is always up front...
I'd give up if your weren't so well hung!"
--- John Miller
I met her, we shed all our clothes.
I tasted her oyster
Down there in the cloister...
Got candle grease right up my nose.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A voice from on high: "You have sinned.
That tart's my son's bride,
Deserving a ride,
That leaves her beneath you, well pinned."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was neither, my son, fish nor fowl.
Go, stop that there lickin';
Go choke your own chicken;
St Peter's here, flexing his dowel."
--- Tiddy Ogg
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