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Then one of the heavenly host,
Came down and applied thence his post.
Alas, the poor sap,
At fucking was crap;
You see, he was only a ghost.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Which just proves that size isn't all.
So she and I had us a ball.
And those looking down,
We charged a half-crown.
Yes, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Paul.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A cute little nun, name of Kylie,
Confessed in a whisper, quite shyly,
"My panties are wet
For with lust I'm beset...
Will you pray for me, Father O'Reilly?"
--- Peter Wilkins

"Lord Jesus!" thought Father O'Reilly,
And whipped out his genitals slyly.
"Forgive me, dear God,"
He said, shooting his wad,
As he sprayed on that nun name of Kylie.
--- Peter Wilkins

A poet, I think it was Keats,
Said, "Nuns spread deceits about teats,
And claim them behemoth
Because they both seemeth
To sag 'twixt the knees and the feets.
--- Anon

"And nuns are much better, by far,
At lying than prostitutes are:
A nun says, 'I've got
A cherry-filled twat,'
While truth is -- a dry, empty jar!"
--- Anon

But screw Keats...I'm taking a chance;
So, Sister, I'm dropping my pants
(I may be quite sorry
Tonight or tomorry!)
For you to start licking my lance!
--- Anon

In a convent, one day, on a whim,
I composed one while deep in a quim.
Sister Mary said, "John,
Just what are you on?
That doesn't sound much like a hymn!"
--- John Miller

Oh Lord, for your blessing I pray,
That the sister's a marvelous lay.
And help me keep drumming
To a great second coming,
Before we two cease from the fray.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Her love story would slowly unfold,
With some parts that should never be told.
There are deeds quite surprising,
And lewd acts compromising,
And this nun is not even that old.
--- Bob Birch

If lust could be had, she would grab It,
And 'tis said that she'd fuck like a rabbIt.
That's not good for a nun,
But once she'd begun,
She was in and was out of the habit.
--- Bob Birch

I thought that his Nun was devout
'Cause all she would give me was nowt:
"I'm not into males!"
And now I hear tales
Of how she has put it about.
--- SFA

Now that is not strictly correct.
To most of a male I object,
(The belches and farts);
But I like the parts
That stand up so tall and erect.
--- Sis Chris

I got on the train at Southampton,
And sat down alongside a young nun,
(Not Sister Christina,
This one was much cleaner,)
And wondered if she'd like some fun.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I haven't a clue who she is,
But her thighs and her tits are the biz;
And on Mondays she sits
On the train with my bits
In her hand, 'til I'm ready to fizz.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The first stop is called Airport/Parkway,
I asked her if she'd like to make hay,
She gave me a glare,
And told me just where
I could take my hay maker, and go away.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And so to the next station, Eastleigh.
She told me to stop being beastly,
"Keep your hands to yourself,
If you value your health,
I won't give in quite so easily."
--- Tiddy Ogg

But by the time we reached Win-chester,
I knew that my ardour impressed 'er.
She let my hand roam
On erogenous zones,
As, mentally at least, I undressed 'er.
--- Tiddy Ogg

By the time that we reached Basingstoke,
I'd buried my face 'neath her cloak,
And she quivered in ripples,
As my lips sucked her nipples,
And her thighs, I now started to stroke.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The next station reached is called Woking,
And she surely knew I was not joking.
As we sped 'long the track,
She was flat on her back,
'Twixt her thighs now my todger was poking.
--- Tiddy Ogg

By now we were coming to Clapham.
Her legs round my back she did wrap 'em.
As we crossed o'er the points,
That jiggled our joints,
And our climax at last it did happen.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And as we drew in to Waterloo,
I smiled and said "Thanks be to you.
Now if you've got the time,
Try the old Essex line,
And see what young Peter can do."
--- Tiddy Ogg

While tuned in on BBC1,
I was lying in bed with a nun.
I decided to stop,
When a flashbulb went POP!
I'm now on page three of the Sun.
--- Bill Wall

On thumbing my way through the Sun,
On page three was an old topless nun.
Since Murdoch found God,
His behavior's quite odd,
But he says it's just good clean fun.
--- Bill Wall

We Nuns of Perpetual Wet
Have set up this page on the net.
So welcom, dear Brother
Or sister -- I'm Mother
Superior Fanny (you bet).
--- Peter Wilkins

This page is to prove that we ain't
Medieval or terribly quaint.
When Matins is done,
We have glorious fun,
Although none of us here is a saint.
--- Peter Wilkins

So dearly beloved, come in:
Let me show yu the convent within.
The six of us (only)
Are frequently lonely,
Save visits from Father O'Quinn.
--- Peter Wilkins

And Father O'Quinn's getting old;
He's been with us for decades untold.
The service he rendered
Has now been suspended;
His candle's eroded and cold.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now here is sweet Sister Marie;
She's been with us since January 3.
Her shiny black habits
Appeal to the abbots,
And often (quite frankly) to me.
--- Peter Wilkins

She's certainly under a spell
And it isn't a vision of Hell;
And nor is she sitting
And thinking of knitting,
Though something is ringing her bell.
--- Peter Wilkins

Our newest recruit is Irene
Who insists she is over eighteen,
Our minimum age;
But I can't really guage,
And she does appear awfully keen.
--- Peter Wilkins

She often gets over-dramatic
And strips off her cloths in the attic.
Imagining revels
With satyrs and devils;
No wonder she's looking ecstatic.
--- Peter Wilkins

Displaying her silky white pants,
It's Sister Pauline in a trance.
He hopes that her knickers
Might help attract vicars,
But frankly, she hasn't a chance.
--- Peter Wilkins

This is file qul

Apparently silky and sleek,
Those panties she's worn for a week.
Though fitting her tightly,
She checks on them nightly
In case they start springing a leak.
--- Peter Wilkins

Good Heavens! What have we here?
It's Sister Christina I fear.
She's sozzled, methinks,
After one or two drinks,
From that bottle of whiskey or beer.
--- Peter Wilkins

She seems to be having a scratch;
I bet she has crabs in her thatch.
She catches them often
When screwing and boffin'
And chewing up guys in her snatch.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now this nymphomaniac nun,
Dear Sister Patricia has fun.
She tests out the toys
We employ for our joys;
It's no wonder her job's never done.
--- Peter Wilkins

At Matins she'll diddle and thumb it;
At Vespers she'll playfully strum it.
The rest of the day
She gets carried away,
Using whatchamacallits to plumb it.
--- Peter Wilkins

And finally me. I'm the Mother
Superior Fanny; none other.
I'm privileged too;
I have abbots to screw.
And the one on the left is my brother.
--- Peter Wilkins

They pay me a visit each Sunday;
The day I regard as my fun day.
But, brother, I've got
An insatiable twat,
So it's back to the dildos on Monday.
--- Peter Wilkins

"Oh Father, I'm pregnant," said Kylie;
"With child up the duff," she said shyly.
"I fear it's that candle
You asked me to handle."
But Father O'Reilly was wily.
--- Peter Wilkins

"My aim, Sister K, was inaccurate,
And thus your conception's immaculate.
Just look at that stain
On your habit again;
He said, "That's where I shot my ejaculate!"
--- Peter Wilkins

I once knew a nun from Peru
Who prayed for a Bishop to screw.
She went to confession,
Her guilt for to lessen,
And LO! All her prayers came true.
--- ROE

All at once a Bishop came for her,
And in no time proceeded to board her.
He tickled her dicket,;
She tiddled his wicket;
They started their very own order!
--- ROE

Near the convent I'd walk with a friend,
A young Sister who'd talk without end.
With faith, not apology,
On Greek eschatology.
Then we'd fuck like the world was at end.
--- H Welchel

We'd relish the guilt-driven pain
As into each other we'd strain.
My black heart she'd beguile
When she'd moan with a smile,
"Dear God, are you coming again?"
--- H Welchel

There was a young nun, Sister Sybil,
Whose pussy was always a-dribble;
She prayed to her God
For her heavenly rod,
And the chance of a nibble or dibble.
--- Peter Wilkins

"Oh God; will you take me to heaven?
I've never been further than Devon."
Okay then, dear Sister,"
Said God as he kissed her,
"But don't call me God, call me Kevin."
--- Peter Wilkins

"Oh Kevin..." cried young Sister Sybil;
"Oh Sybil..." cried Kevin mid-dibble.
And Thusly did Kevin
Take Sybil to heaven
With more of a BANG! than a nibble.
--- Peter Wilkins

A Papal Encyclical due
To be issued July 22
Makes it clear it's illegal
For nuns to enveigle
Novitiate brothers to screw.
--- Peter Wilkins

This leaves a few days to go run
To the monastery, looking for fun.
Let the Sisters of Mercy
Look after your percy,
For soon, I'm afraid there'll be nun.
--- Peter Wilkins

An artsy old nun from Mt. Hunt,
Once chiseled a design in her cunt.
She carved to perfection
The Lord's resurrection,
And wore her skirts open in front.
--- Pete Baker

Said a nun to the Mother Superior:
"Are my breasts inferior?
I know that I like them
But would you try them?
Come and try. The more the merrier!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When old Hildy felt under duress
From the girls at the convent, she'd dress
In a silk gown quite sheer,
Sing like hell, and drink beer --
Just the thing for nuns with P.M.S.
--- Joel Cohen

A young nun from Long Beach, California,
Said, "I think it's important to warnia,
That though seeming a saint,
I've an awful complaint,
I'm just getting steadily hornia."
--- Isaac Asimov

A naughty young nun (she was Dutch)
Was chastised for indecent behaviour, and such.
Said the Mother Superior:
"I'd spank your posterior.
But I know you'd enjoy it too much."
--- Anon

They're nuns, but angels they ain't.
They could even seduce a young Saint --
They were horny, no doubt,
From going too long without --
Their talents would make the Pope faint!
--- Kaylin Brandon

There once was a nun from Altoona,
Who loved the retreat in Laguna.
The lesbian clan
Massaged her with flan,
And consumed it by light of the moon...Ahh...

(flan - straight-sided custard pie)
--- Magunda

Two nuns as they cycled near Derry,
Decided their route they would vary.
"I've not come this way!"
"Oh really? I'd say
'Tis the cobblestones, dear Sister Mary!"
--- Tutta Gioia

In a convent a sex pot called Bun
Thought with priests that she'd have some fun.
But when they kicked her out,
They left her no doubt
When they said nun, they meant none.
--- Clarence E Boyle P8907

A frustrated nun, Sister Coxey,
Well-known for her heterodoxy,
Sneered, "Brides of Lord Jesus
Contract few diseases,
But screwing's no fun, when by proxy."
--- Armand Singer

A young nun who made notes in her diary,
That were terribly torrid and fiery,
Once left it behind
For her abbess to find.
Now she isn't allowed in the priory.
--- Isaac Asimov

Thought she'll never be publically seen,
Secretly she looks jazzy in green.
Beneath denim skirt long
She wears a sequined thong.
She's the closet snazzy Nazarene.

(must be a nun)
--- Loren Fitzhigh P0605

While leaving my zipper undone,
I went for a walk in the sun.
One gal with a snigger,
Said, "I have seen bigger!"
And dammit, this gal was a nun.
--- SFA

A postulent known only as Tess
Thought she had much to confess.
What she did with a priest
In her dreaming, at least,
I think I will leave you to guess.
--- Macsam

If it's a good Christian you seek,
Sister Barbara is humble and meek.
And if at High Mass
You should fondle her ass,
She is sure to turn the other cheek.
--- Arthur Deex P8309


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