Then Gabriel gave him a black stone, Now the Moslem has gone ever since To the Jew the answer is simple; When descendants of the two brothers meet, The Jews said. "We got you a deal, But Allah says, "Rise up and fight! Abraham got the word from above If all men were equal... Ezekiel, Albimelech! Who could subdue him? (I assume it is the old testament?)
"I don't mind if a poem is demanding," (Phil 4:7)
On a clear day the Lord from on high Be careful when quoting the Bible, Young Joseph's new coat was real nice, Poor Daniel returned to the den. Amid the lions stands Daniel In biblical days there were men "My daughter's a good girl indeed, Cried a pious young fellow, Pat Gagan, A biblical party called Ham, When Haman would the Hebrews crush God created the earth and the heaven The diary of Nathanial, ecclesiastical, There was an old man called Isiah, In killing Sisera, young Jael When Jael crept in to see Sisera, Despondent and given to fits, King Saul met defeat as he warred, When Lazarus rose from the dead, Methuselah boasted, "My dears, A merry old man was Methuselah; Dear Miss, didn't mean to malign Joseph led a real gourmet's life. All true believers understand
This is file qsl
There once was a man named Joshua, Charles II was always in touch (Ecclesiastes 7:16)
An Old Testament king, Ebeneezer, A daring young lady of Guam, From reading the Bible I saw, Give a thought to the Empress of Sheba, Sheba's queen was King Solomon's dream, Old Solomon was a great Jew, Old King Solomon is admired lots For Joshua it wasn't fun, (Numbers 13:16)
Explanations are often exotic The people do not understand When God cursed the Tower of Babel, If you want to get closer to God, Read the message that's writ on the wall, (Mene mene tekel upharsin)
There's a man in the Bible portrayed When Belshazzar gave a great ball, Belshazzar, from what I recall, In vain was Belshazzar's complaint, Said Eve, "When our world was begun, "I flatly and roundly deny "And as for that other old fable His first night, Adam said to his dear, A gay rabbi said fervently, "We've In Eden with flowers and grass, Our parents were Adam and Eve, I'm not sure that the story's a fake. Is this the same Eve who made Adam When God had seen Adam alone, The serpent's temptation brought strife Said God: "That's the fruit, I believe, Said young Adam, while pulling each boot on, If navels were never forbade 'em,
In the Kaaba at Mecca it's shown.
"You'll walk seven times around
For it is Holy ground.
Five or six times I will not condone.
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
Down to Mecca, oft at great expense,
To revere that black stone,
And their sins to atone,
And to build up their self-confidence.
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
They just pray at the wall of the Temple.
There their prayers are read,
As they pound on their head,
And put notes into each crack and dimple.
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
It most always will generate heat.
Jews will use gun and tank,
To steal the West Bank.
And anything else that looks neat.
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
That is if this bargain we seal,
Give us all your good land,
We'll leave you the sand
And just maybe a little cold steel!"
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
Because what they're doing ain't right.
Their leader's a thief,
Who will soon come to grief,
When we get him lined up in our sights!"
--- Bare Bones Book P9409
To give his son, Isaac, a shove.
Should you say 'twas Ishmael
It's the Tel Aviv Jail --
A lesson in brotherly love.
--- Arthur Deex P8209
And if it were true that, "The meek will..."
If men were as brothers...
If do unto others...
How lovely this Adam/Eve sequel.
--- Irving Superior P9004
A lady of Thebez, to undo him,
Dropped a stone on his head.
The dying king said,
"Kill me, men, lest they say, 'A girl slew him.'"
--- Ron Ecker
Conceded a critic named Blanding,
"And I really am fond
Of some works by Pound,
But this piece passeth all understanding."
--- A N Wilkins P9004
For a contact with Moses did try.
But he spoke with concern
From a bush that did burn,
For there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
--- Albin Chaplin P9106
'Cause otherwise, you may be liable
To piss off some queers,
Or Jews or their peers,
Such as Arabs or other folks tribal.
--- John Miller
Bright colors and cheap at the price.
The coat was to take him
To Egypt and make him
As rich as Lloyd-Weber and Rice.
--- Cyril Mountjoy
The lions, quite hungry by then..
(Please fill in the blanks)
Then the lions gave thanks,
For the Lord's most flavored of men.
--- Murky TP9806
And not in anguish does Dan yell
Or go berserk. Instead
"If they fare well," Dan said,
I'll not fare well, but will farewell."
--- Irving Superior P8207
Who could diddle again and again.
They didn't know science
But in bed they were giants
And the women would never say, "When!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8207
And I'm proud of her," said Mrs. Mead.
"Though last night it was late,
She came home from her date
With a Gideon Bible to read."
--- A N Wilkins P0211
"I'm in love with a sinuous pagan.
Her legs are just fine,
But she cannot be mine,
Till Golden Calves all, are forsaken."
--- Anon
Cried, "Cuss it, I don't give a damn!
My father's yard measure
I view with great pleasure,
Such a bloody great battering ram!"
--- L1430
Queen Esther cried, "Up Haman's tush!"
Well, anyway,
On Purim Day
The Hebrews feast on Hamantush.
--- Irving Superior P8207
Using firmament as His chief leaven;
Then he cried, "Fiat Lux!!
GimMe whales; GimMe ducks;
GimMe Ho-Jos and Seven-Eleven!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
Is actual, true, honest, and factual,
It has proclivities exotic
And activities erotic,
Natural and unnatural (impractical).
--- Anon
Who foresaw the coming Messiah.
Jonah told tales
Of life inside whales,
And Moses set bushes on fire.
--- Richard Long
Wasn't worried. There wasn't a gaol
At that primitive site,
Nor was there in sight
A simple American jail.
--- A N Wilkins P9112
She aimed a bit up from his kisser, her
Blow, as she said,
Hit the nail on the head,
And avoided much messier viscera.
--- Bill Greenwell
King Saul, at the end of his wits,
Was informed by a ghost
That the Philistine host
Would chop him, next day, into bits.
--- Old Test Made Easy P0012
Was wounded, and couldn't afford
To let Philistines nab him.
But no one would stab him,
So he had to fall on his sword.
--- Ron Ecker
He still couldn't function in bed.
"What good's Resurrection
Without an erection?",
Old Lazarus testily said.
--- Anon G2004
I've confirmed all my enemies fears;
I've neglected to die,
And so celebrate my
Bicentenary years!"
--- Rory Ewins
At love, though, he's never a luselah.
His dick may be shrunken,
But when he gets drunken,
He'll grab a young girl and he'll gooselah.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The likes of these ladies bovine.
I'm just bourgeoisie.
Any good said of me,
Is like casting (faux) pearls before swine.
--- Anon
(Though he always ate peas with his knife.)
When the cook cried out, "Sir!
Try this great pot-au-feu,"
Old Joseph tried Potiphar's wife.
--- Anon
There was not other Promised Land.
While they the Red Sea walked,
Of Promised Land they talked,
But God had only promised sand.
--- Irving Superior P9009
Whose followers cried out, "How posh you are!
You really show class
On your royal ass,--
Which you ride as though he were Nashua.
--- Jim Jambor P9009
And when biblical students and such
Would sometimes request
The text he liked best,
"Be not righteous," he said, "overmuch."
--- A N Wilkins P8605
Had a cold-blooded wife, couldn't please her.
Though you won't find a hint
In the Septuagint,
He just must have made love in the freezer.
--- Armand E Singer 230
Observed, "The Pacific's so calm,
I'll swim out for a lark."
She met a large shark;
Let us now sing the Ninetieth Psalm.
--- Anon
In Solomon's life one big flaw,
For all of his wives,
'Bout 905,
Each came with one mother-in-law.
--- Anon
Who thought Solomon called her Mein Liebe.
She brought him wild asses,
And grapes from Parnassus,
Whilst he gave her--what?--heeba-jeeba.
--- G0183
Though their love life was not what 'twould seem.
For in those olden days,
They had no scented sprays,
And she smelled like the Yale football team.
--- Anon
And was famous for all that he knew.
He could multiply seven
By nine times eleven,
And divide by the square of point two.
--- P8207
For his wisdom in dealing with tots,
And dividing two mothers
Of contrasting 'druthers
Into either the halves or halve nots.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105
And he thought that they'd never have done;
Telling every last fool
Who attended the school
That he was the son of a Nun.
--- A N Wilkins P8907
And maintained with a fierceness despotic.
Sollie's Song deals with God?
And the Church? My, how odd.
To me it seems merely erotic.
--- Isaac Asimov
For all they see is sand and sand.
No access road. No lake.
Not one foundation stake.
"Good Lord! Is this the Promised Land?"
--- Irving Superior P8207
The artisans turned instant rabble.
When each tried to speak
The result was all Greek
To the rest - multi-national scrabble.
--- Arthur Deex P8207
Build a tower just like old Nimrod.
But make it more stable
And if you are able,
Top it off with a stout lightning rod.
--- Gary Hallock
In fiery script ten feet tall,
And, in case Hebrew
Is all Greek to you,
I'll translate: It says Fuck You All!
--- Anon
As one deeply engrossed in his trade.
He became quite elated
Over things he created,
Especially the women he made.
--- L1585
A hand wrote some words on the wall.
The Royal Committee
For reading Graffiti
Declared it made no sense at all.
--- Bob Maximoff P9011
Was the first to object to the scrawl
Of graffiti artistes
Interrupting his feasts,
With their handwriting left on his wall.
--- Indiana Millwart
Or a swift application of paint;
By the dawn he was dead --
Wonder how? -- no one said.
And the Israelites freed from restraint.
--- Indiana Millwart
And God's labors were finally done,
I and Adam were equal,
I wasn't a sequel.
We are told so in Genesis One.
--- Laurence Perrine P9209
That Adam is older than I.
That tale of a rib
Is an absolute fib,
And Genesis Two is a lie."
--- Laurence Perrine P9209
That Cain, after murdering Abel,
Found a woman in Nod--
That's an error, By God!
In his genealogical table."
--- Laurence Perrine P9209
"Darling Eve, you had better stand clear.
Since touched by your hand,
It's begun to expand,
And I don't know how far 'twill uprear."
--- Isaac Asimov
Made translations of what we believe
To be Genesis pure,
And we found out for sure
It's the story of Adam and Steve."
--- Don Moore P9209a
Satan gave a fruit to a lass.
She had to be gone
So Adam ate some.
Better that than getting no ass.
--- Anon
Which means we are asked to believe
That scumbags and mothers
Are sisters and brothers.
Oh, Adam! Why did you conceive?
--- Irving Superior
Could be history has made a mistake.
But there is no dispute;
Adam did eat the fruit.
And we know that he did bare a snake.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So horny while watching his madam.
He took several hens,
Goats and sheep from their pens,
To the Garden of Eden and had 'em?
--- Anon
From his rib God made Eve fully grown.
But a serpent conned Eve
And made Adam believe
He'd have been better off with his bone.
--- Warrick Elrod
Into Adam and Eve's simple life.
Adam, when they began,
Took his woes like a man --
He blamed all of them on his wife.
--- A N Wilkins P8409a
That I'm certain I told you to leave.
What led you to take
The advice from a snake?"
Said Adam, "I blame it on Eve."
--- Richard Long
As he left Eve bereft on the fouton:
"Here's another fine fix
That we're in, through your tricks;
Let The Serpent eat out your fig-newton!"
--- Allen Wolverton
And if both Eve and her Adam had 'em,
Is it then a mere fib;
That tall tale re: the rib
And Adam's start, also his madam?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0410