When Adam was long in the tooth,
He discovered Original Truth:
The indifference of time...
The brief span of man's prime...
The fleet wings of the sweet bird of youth.
--- William N Nesbit P9602

Adam should have requested a trial,
Asked for witnesses for the espial,
Then in manifest fury
Demanded a jury
And appealed from the Judge's denial.
--- Laurence Perrine P8501

Dear Adam and Eve: Hear our plea.
If you ever again chance to be
In Eden, take care!
Of strangers beware!
Don't Sit Under The Apple Tree.

(signed) The Andrew Sisters
--- Irving Superior P9209

The Fall of Mankind's down to Adam,
But Eve was a bit of a madam.
Seeing her and her wares,
He cried, "Sod it! Who cares?"
Then his fig leaf fell off and he had 'em.
--- Rather Rottener P0410

As hurriedly they left the gate,
Did Adam's figleaf fluctuate?
And when ten steps away,
(The Bible does not say)
Did Adam's figleaf stand out straight?
--- Irving Superior P9209

Imagine the first thoughts of Eve
When Adam appeared, to perceive
His chuckling with mirth
With the first hard on Earth
Her voluptousness helped him achieve.
--- Grand Prix Lim 532 P8207

Said Adam, "I hope you will pardon
My approaching you thus in the Garden,
But from seeing you there
With your softness all bare,
I've got an unbearable hard-on."
--- Lance Payne P9209

When Adam first looked upon Eve,
His eyesight he could not believe.
Much bigger in breast;
Of pelvis, much less;
The reason, he could not conceive.
--- Irving Superior P9209

Adam owned the first set of balls,
Fuzzy ones that you can't buy in malls.
Do they have uses
Our dumb Adam muses,
Until into the garden Eve crawls.
--- Harry Rubin P9209

Said Adam to Eve when they met,
"Please refrain for a moment, my pet.
For a part of me, here,
Seems to grow as you near,
And I fear just how large this might get."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9209

When Adam first looked upon Eve,"
"Great dissimilarities we've.
The worst, I would say,
We differ midway.
The reason, I cannot conceive."
--- Irving Superior P8312

Yes, Adam and Eve had a fight
Over which took the fatal first bite:
"Love, do you insinuate..."
"Yes! that in sin you ate!"
And thus they continued in spite....
--- Laurence Perrine P9206

Said Adam sadly at the gate,
"Why was that angel so irate?
And why did he
Insinuate in sin you ate?"
--- Irving Superior P8207

Turning over a new leaf would pose
No problem for most, except those
Who, like the first Adam
And his ambitious madam,
Use only new leaves for their clothes.
--- Patricia White P8207

Adam wasn't a man who'd deceive.
It's just that he didn't believe
He should stir up the fuss
It would cause to discuss
Sultry Lilith, his first wife, with Eve.
--- A N Wilkins P9209

When of Adam and Eve, old Ms. Finder
Asked someone in class to remind her
How the couple were like
Modern students, young Ike
Asked, "Was it their good loose leaf binder?"
--- A N Wilkins P8508

Adam said, "It's the same everywhere.
These young kids go as far as the dare."
Eve remembered the time,
Way back in their prime,
When they hadn't a fig leaf to wear.
--- Neal Wilgus P8407

"Adam, really, it's not such a crime,
And you're guilty too, just as I'm.
When we hadn't a care
We sure did our share."
What they did does not fit in this rhyme.
--- Neal Wilgus P8407

If Adam had been unrequited
Or Eve had remained unexcited,
The worst thing of all
That then could befall:
This limerick would never be writed.
--- Irving Superior P9307

Curiosity caused as much strife
As jealousy in Eve's botched life.
Though she called him a skunk,
Unless he got drunk,
Adam never discussed his first wife.
--- A N Wilkins P8811a

What made Adam, the first man, unique --
A kind of biological freak?
He had no breast to suck on,
And no navel button.
Created, not born, so to speak.
--- Caroline Donovan P9804

Their own failings were largely the cause,
But a wretched existence it was.
Yet though ill the two fared,
One trial they were spared.
Neither Adam nor Eve had in-laws.
--- A N Wilkins P9209

For Adam, life was a treadmill;
'Twas boring and offered no thrill.
Every day the same beaver,
The same wife, couldn't leave her;
There weren't other pussies to fill.
--- Dirruk

As a person can tell at this distance,
Eve succumbed to the serpent's insistence.
It wasn't her itch
For the fruit, but his pitch.
She simply had no sales resistance.
--- A N Wilkins P9209

"Abstention," said Adam to Eve,
"Means only we could not conceive
While still in the Garden,
Where peckers don't harden,
And you wore no skimpy fig leaf."
--- Irving Superior P9708

If Eve hadn't eaten the apple,
Mankind would not have to grapple
With sin and temptation,
And disapprobation
From ladies who worship at Chapel
--- Wendy Cope

Adam and Eve were created
To love and be happily mated.
But would you believe,
They didn't conceive,
But all by themselves, masturbated?
--- John Miller

Sly Snake at this sight was elated,
And visited Adam, and stated,
"Now heed this old snake;
This hand stuff's a fake;
Grab Eve and let's get you fellated."
--- John Miller

No offspring this way are created
And God took a peek in, belated,
And said, "You can't be
Having more fun than me!
Such arrogance must be abated!"
--- John Miller

So eviction from Eden was slated,
And Eve, and all parties related,
Put on some rags
And packed up their bags;
No options with God were debated.
--- John Miller

And so, to this day, snakes are hated
And boys, when they're just masturbated,
Are apt to feel guilt
For the semen they've spilt,
And girls just want their eggs incubated.
--- John Miller

His one-eyed snake, by any measure,
Eve deemed Adam's burliest treasure.
When not in his britches,
It fill all her nitches
With seven thick inches of pleasure.
--- Randog

Said Adam, "My dear, can't you see,
Were we wedded, how happy we'd be?
Without you I'm lonely!
I swear you're the only
One girl in the whole world for me!"
--- Laurence Perrine P9209

This is file qrl

A scenario based on the Bible
Where events we know are liable
To mention incest,
Lewd Eve undressed,
And permissible murder, if tribal.
--- Jim Jambor P9012

"I've covered this thing that I poke
In you, Eve, with leaves," Adam spoke.
Laughed Eve, "That ain't fig
Leaves hidding your rig;
You moron, you've used poison oak!"
--- Travis Brasell

Finding God's taboos totalitarian,
Eve adopted a pose of 'San Fairy Ann', (what's this??)
Ate prohibited fruit,
Made her mate follow suit,
And left us all quite prolapsarian.

(prolapsarian - slipping down of a part of the body)
--- Basil Ransome-Davies

Although it was a secret to keep,
The Church Father's suspicion was deep,
That before Eve's creation,
To relieve his frustration,
Adam frequently rogered the sheep.
--- A N Wilkins P9209

"Bone of my bones," was Adam's decree.
Concrete term, no abstract thinker, he.
Were he romantic instead,
He might well have said,
"When I look within you, I find me!"
--- Limerick Bible P9706

When the atom he split by his wit,
With uranium man made a big hit.
But it did not compare
To the time Eve laid bare
And Adam observed the first split.
--- Al Chaplin P9209a

The serpent, smooth, supple, and wily,
So subtle and sinister, slyly
Snaked out of the garden
Without asking pardon,
Triumphant, and smug, and so smiley!
--- Laurence Perrine P9209

Adam and Eve in the garden...
Eve said, "Beggin' your pardon.
The fuit of the day
Keeps the doctor away,
But it causes some people to harden!"
--- Jane D Hughes P9209

"These fig leaves will calm down your nerves,
And cover your sensuous curves,"
Said Adam to Eve
While stitching a sleeve,
"Thank heaven for what fig preserves!"
--- Travis Brasell

I was thinking, while supping my soup,
That none of us here in this group
Would exist if old Adam
Had said to Eve, "Madam,
I fear I have terminal droop."
--- Peter Wilkins

Claimed Adam, while sleeping, his rib
Was reworked to become (it's no fib)
A beautiful lass
With chic and will class,
But some think that his tale is too glib.
--- P8205

"Your Honor," a lawyer named Fitch,
"Were Adam and Eve ever hitched?
If they weren't, you're
A bastard for sure!"
His Honor: "You son of a bitch!"
--- Irving Superior P8111

To his madam, those strange parts of Adam
Fulfilled not the reason he had 'em.
With his third rib torn free,
Eve reflected that he
Might have had 'em had Adam had madam.
--- David A Brooks

The story of Eden is funny,
However, it's not "on the money."
When Eve saw the "snake,"
She cried, "Gimme a break."
Said Adam: "This ain't no snake, honey!"
--- John K Roberts P9211 a

From The Garden, expelled by The Chief,
Poor old Adam felt rage mixed with grief;
He said: "Eve, wretched wench:
You go live with the French;
I'll turn over, my dear, a new leaf!"
--- Allen Wolverton

A biology Student Miss Rigg
Was thrilled when she raised up a twig,
And a fat worm was there;
But it didn't compare
To the worm 'neath the leaf of a fig.
--- Albin Chaplin

Young Adam said, "God, though it's fun,
All this wanking, you promised me one
With a hole for my pole.
(Well you said it's more whole-
some.)" Said God, "Here's a donut, my son."
--- Peter Wilkins

Adam and Eve in Eden, there lovered,
While nearby an insurance man hovered.
"Two people so smitten,
Should be underwritten,"
Said he, "For I see you're not covered."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9407

When Adam first looked upon Eve,
He knew instantly how to deceive.
He approached and said, "Madam,
Remember me, Adam?
We have met before, I believe?"
--- Laurence Perrine P9209

Outside the gate Adam now stands,
Oppressed by urinary glands.
As he starts to pee,
He sing triumphantly,
"I've Got The Whole World In My Hands."
--- Irving Superior P9209

"I'm not horny," said Adam. Some Fib!
So the Lord came and took out a rib.
Lies never do work,
And Adam (the jerk)
Started all of today's Women's Lib.
--- Theo M Heller P9209

You remember when Tarzan and Jane
Weren't wed and the moralists' bane.
What then can we believe
About Adam and Eve?
What would that make young Abel and Cain?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0507

Now Cain was a sower and reaper,
But Abel found keeping sheep cheaper,
And when God preferred lamb
Over strawberry jam,
Cain proved he was no brother's keeper.
--- Laurence Perrine P8903

There was a young fellow named Cain,
Who was wicked, perverse, and profane.
With the leg of a table,
He slugged brother Abel,
And shouted, "Remember the Maine!"
--- Anon

When Abel put meat, Cain fruit, on the table,
And God preferred meat, Cain, unstable,
With his stout knotted cane
Beat his brother's brain
Thus enabled to disable Able.
--- Laurence Perrine P8903

Two brothers named Abel and Cain
Were the first sibling rivals, 'tis plain.
When Cain killed poor Abel
For messing with Mabel,
He was no longer prone to complain.
--- Neal Wilgus P8207

What occurred, we are led to assume,
Was that seeds that were cast in Eve's womb,
Came to term as Man's bane
In the person of Cain,
Prototype of all evil and gloom.
--- William N Nesbit P9602

When Abel brought lamb to the feast,
And Cain's grain was liked by God least,
Cain, jealous, unstable,
With one blow slew Abel.
He strongly felt he had been fleeced.
--- Laurence Perrine P8903

When Cain in a fit of vexation,
Slew Abel, divine condemnation
Was swift and gave pain;
If he tried it now, Cain
Would likely get three years probation.
--- Biblical Limericks P9706a

That biblical hero named Abel,
Trustworthy, loyal, and stable,
Whose brother named Cain
While inflicting great pain,
Hollered, "Hey buddy, this ain't no fable!"
--- Arthur Deex P0501

As a son, Cain was not all that hot,
But with him Adam bettered his lot.
For as wise rabbis say,
When with Lilith he lay,
It was demons which Adam begot.
--- A N Wilkins P9209

When Cain killed Abel there began
The Great Unbrotherhood of Man.
And even worse
Began the curse
That's called the Me-First Survival Plan.
--- Irving Superior P8207

Cain and Abel were mother Eve's twosome.
Cain, a farmer, liked lettuce and grew some,
While Abel kept sheep.
God ranked keep about reap:
Cain's murder of Abel was gruesome.
--- Laurence Perrine P8903

When Adam saw Eve, it was plain
He'd no longer have to refrain.
So he tried to lay cable
When e'er he was able,
But Jesus! She sure could raise Cain
--- Jim Weaver Collection