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"I like anal sex, if you please", There was an experienced whore A hard-working hooker named Gritswith, What would you like, my dear lass? On feeling his breath on her back, I bet these here girls hold a grudge, A Greek-loving fellow from Mass. Each week in church, after mass She said, "I'm no longer your toy;" When once us boys packed cousin Ella's Seems most men have a really big fear. Applying the oil of the sassafras Perplexed, a shy virgin named Plummer, A tight-assed young girl that I know A bum-loving fellow named Peter He screamed and he wailed like a siss; A hi-fi fanatic named Mario I once knew a girl named Dawn; A Italian instructor called Ted A movie producer named Vince At the debs ball, I met Jilly Cooper I recall with my eyes all a-misting, There once was a well-known old bugger, There once was a girl from Bombay, There was a young fellow named Butler, A randy young lad, name of Kelly There one was a man from NYC, There once was a seaman named Butz Her threats cause old Butz some concern; Mrs Butz looked at Mister quite stern He fucked them high and then low; The last time I had a blind date, There once was a comely young lass, "Your dildo feels great in my twat... The girls all flocked around Ben; The disc jockey said to his bride, A dirty old hasher named Booker, My wife has an elegant rump. A sensible girl, name of Dexter, Cried the horrified bride of Joe Avery, A twice-wedded pervert named Wattick There once was a girl named Monique, A back-scuttled tourist named Tuttle-- On the shores of the Aegean Sea When it comes to the birds and the bees, That lascivious reprobate Deex, The Polacks, revengeful -- their plan, The classics have quite a mystique Yo, John, that Is a good one. A companion, sincere and refined, There was an old Greek named Onossis The Grecians were famed for fine art, The learned young linguist Lautrec A man with a girl named Carruther On an island off Naxos in Greece, There was a young lady named Tweek Heinrich Schlieman once said while at Troy, The great blonde Thunder God Thor There was a young fellow named Eric In Athens, from habits of yore, With Persians, a lady named Lee A Greek lad said, "Dad, you're unkind. Such maneuvers in a fit of pique A naive young man from Mill Creek, While playing a game of bezique, We hail the wise prince of the Kurd
Said Charlotte, while down on her knees.
"I'm firm and I'm tight;
I'm an utter delight!
And I promise that I won't cut the cheese!"
--- Stan
Who knew all the coital lore.
She said, "Though it pain us,
Men opt for the anus,
So now I don't fuck any more."
--- Stephen Cordwell
Scads of dough filled her bank and her mitts with,
By perfecting the art
Of employing the part
Of the torso one usually sits with.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9205a
A steely ton-eight up your ass?
Or should I recant,
And toss at a slant,
And bugger obliquely your sass?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Felicity whispered to Jack,
"You can screw my behind
If you're that way inclined,
But I'd rather you entered my crack."
--- Craig
When finding their colon won't budge,
On the pot as they sit
And can't take a shit,
'Cause you been packin' their fudge.
--- Anon
Would only butt-fuck a lass.
Said his girl, Miss Morse,
"He's hung like a horse,
And he's such a pain in the ass."
--- Ogden Nield
He would pester the pretty young lass.
He demanded anal sin,
Until the girl gave in;
He's a literal pain in the ass.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0411
His sorrow soon turned into joy.
It was a real boon
When he realized soon,
He could find the same hole on a boy.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0411
Fudge, Grandma told all us fellas:
"If somebody sasses
Your acts with gal's asses,
It's only because they are jealous!"
--- Anon
Of getting a boff in the rear.
But say, "Girl come astride,
For a butt fucking ride.",
It's the promise of bliss that is sheer.
--- Anon
To sooth painful burning from harassed ass,
She wept over that bore
That breached her back door,
At angles devised by Pythagoras.
--- Randog
Asked, "What's there to do in the summer?"
She declined and declined,
Till approached from behind,
When her Summer turned out quite a bummer!
--- Anon
Had me ream her ten times in a row.
Now corn-holing that lass
Is a pain in MY ass!
We truly reap that which we sow.
--- Trainman
Arse-fucked a young girl called Rita.
After he'd come,
His balls were quite numb,
And covered with Rita's excreta.
--- Peter Andrew
On his dick was a Hershey's Kiss.
Not only the smell
Made him scream and yell,
It now hurts when he takes a piss!
--- Coolbreeze
Made love to a girl from Ontario.
She was tuned to fine pitch,
Then he buggered the bitch
In 3-D, Technicolor and stereo.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0260
It turns out that she had a shlong.
I did get butt-raped;
She got it on tape;
Then she sent it to my mom!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was wonderfully active in bed.
But one night he'd a virgin
With aversion to mergin',
So he buggered her bum till it bled.
--- G1064
Plied a starlet with ten creme de menthes.
Right after he inked her,
He parted her sphincter,
And she takes it there ever since.
--- David Miller
Who thought it would be, "Simply Super"
If before I'd come,
That I would spend some
Prime time lodged inside her pooper.
--- Anon
Though at first with a little resisting,
And squeals of, "Oh, no !"
She cried, "Jolly good show !"
As I gave her a bloody good fisting.
--- Anon
Got a fancy for a girl and would hug her.
Though she thought he was game
For her cat with a name,
She was oh so surprised when he'd plug her.
--- Straydog
Who fucked in a really strange way.
She would pull you right near,
Then show you her ear,
Saying, "Fuck me in here, and I'll pay!"
--- Anon
Who took out a girl to backscuttle 'er.
She exclaimed: "Oh, What luck!
I expected a fuck,
But this is a bloody sight subtler."
--- G0939
Once buggered a girl from New Delhi.
She had something furry,
That tasted like curry,
But it's neighbor was awfully smelly.
--- Anon
Who liked his women rather spicy.
But he met a nice lass,
Stuck his dick up her ass,
And she said, "That isn't so nicey!"
--- Gerald LaCorte
Who hung around with the sluts.
His wife did berate
And threaten to castrate,
And permanently beach his nuts.
--- M Demers
For single life, he started to yearn.
It wasn't that bad
That she should be mad.
He had only fucked them in the stern.
--- S C Saint
And started a very slow burn.
She felt so ill-treated,
Betrayed and quite cheated,
And completely left out of her turn.
--- Alumal
He even fucked them in the bow.
His wife, to get even,
Took to swallowing seamen
And made him watch and use a dildo.
--- M Demers
I must say it wasn't that great.
To tell you the truth,
It was rather uncouth,
The way that he buggered my mate.
--- Michael Horgan
Who enjoyed getting fucked in the ass.
Every week she would take
A very short break
To let fecal material pass.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0502
This is file qom
Yeesss!... shove it in deeper...I'm hot!
Now, pull it out, please...
I'll get on my knees...
Ohhh!... Yeess!...In my ass!...Thanks a lot!"
--- Anon
She said with a humorous grin,
As he serviced the lass
With his cock up her ass,
She said, "Go slow, you're tickling my chin."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On observing her cunt spread out wide,
"It appears by the record
That too oft you've been peckered,
So perhaps we can play the back side."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0907
Was looking for a perverted hooker.
He found a vision in satin
Who knew Greek but no Latin,
So up the Hershey highway he took her.
--- Anon
Whenever a man has to hump,
He's invited to hug her,
And drug her and bugger
The hole that is used as her dump.
--- Clement Wood G0738
Told the queer in her rear that he vexed her.
Why pick her arsehole
For his sexual goal,
When her cunt was right next?--it perplexed her!
--- G0956
"This second week, sexwise, takes bravery!
Goodness know I like humping,
But Joe's taken to rumping...
What is this deal...love or white slavery?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 490
Was nothing if not systematic.
He pestered the nates
Of both of his mates,
Corrupted by urges ecstatic.
--- Armand Singer
Who had a great looking physique.
When her snatch was chapped,
She'd get off of your lap,
And continue your screw 'a la Greek'.
--- VOL 11
Piraeus to Athens by shuttle--
A lesson now learned,
By taxi returned
Afraid there would be a re-butt-al.
--- Irving Superior P9210
Worked a gay chap on elbow and knee.
Sailors came by the score
Through this fellow's back door,
As he sighed, "This is all Greek to me."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9210
The Greeks excel others with ease.
With a frontal attack,
Or an end run 'round back,
They impale any hole that they please.
--- G0932
Learned one hundred sexual techniques.
But he doubled his fun
With one hundred and one,
When one day he backed into some Greeks.
--- Number Two P9009
Each U.S. girl "A merry can!"
Below the belt crack!
A stab in the back!
A Greek emigrational ban!
--- Irving Superior P8909
For gay Oxford dons like McPeek,
Whose love for a hero
From Athens - young Spiro -
Involves boning up in his Greek.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
You sure are having some fun.
The Brits can be cooks
And the Poles write our books;
Put the Greeks on Brokeback Mountain.
--- Anon
Is the Persian, the best you will find.
To the bittermost end
He remains a staunch friend,
Who will not leave his buddy's behind.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0946
Whose pego was quite a colossus.
He'd sneak up behind
With buggery in mind:
He'd a penchant for tight brown crevasses.
--- G1027
And buildings and stonework so smart.
They distinguished with poise
The men from the boys,
And used crowbars to keep them apart.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0926
Made love to a girl from Quebec.
And he kissed her, they say,
In the manner Francais,
And he finished her off a la Grecque.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0721
Were sure that they'd love one another.
She dated this Greek
For a month and a week,
But he first threw the meat to her brother.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0909
A girl tourist wanting a piece,
Was raped on the beach--
It was useless to screech --
Her bungholers were all Greek police.
--- Grand Prix Lim 383 G0675
Whose pussy was flabby and weak.
But her asshole was tight
So she cried with delight,
"I'm so glad that I married a Greek!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0954
"If there is one thing I enjoy,
It's to probe in a hole
On the Hissarlik knoll,
And discover that it's a Greek Boy."
--- Don Moore P9210
Said, "Oh, I am so very sore.
How could that freak,
Think I am Greek?
I come from much farther up Nor'."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who fucked in a manner Homeric:
Which means 'twixt the cheeks,
In the way of the Greeks,
Since he deemed other methods barbaric.
--- G0965
Where natural sex is a bore,
The ladies in waiting
Are customer baiting
By bending, their backs to the door.
--- Irving Superior P9205
Went on a libidinous spree.
She said, "Heavens above,
Why the way they make love!
I find that it's all Greek to me."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0934
It's the way that you've reared us, I mind.
I was wishing today
I could just go away,
But I hate leaving my brothers behind."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9103
Would appear to be gross and not chic.
In the throes of desire,
How could he take sire?
"Dunno," said he, "to me it's all Greek!"
--- Daniel Ford
Who had for a friend, a fat Greek.
When rogered one night,
Found himself in such plight,
He couldn't sit down for a week.
--- Grand Prix Lim 480
I was jumped on by Zorba the Greek.
He grabbed my bazooky;
Cried, "I love this nooky!"
And I couldn't sit down for a week.
--- Bill Wall
Who fucking dog-fashion preferred.
He found much more fitting
The hole used for shitting,
Though he risked an occasional turd.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0931
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