There once was a girl, Salome, Though a biblical strip-teasing tart, King Herod, at rest from his duty, So one, two, three courtiers went forth, 'Twas this young Salome they sought, "Gee, honey," he said, "That was nice." Salome'd a baptising friend, Now the rest of the story's well known; All the Baptist could see, when she wed Salome had the grace of a swan Although making a prophet, she said, Salome danced and Herod pale. Of Salome, Herod once said, A clergyman read from his text, The stories of Samson are ample Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair An eagle whose wings had been clipped Because of my cock's strength and build, Oy, vat a headache you gimmee, That was until she cut his hair Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair Samson, the barber's delight, Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair "There goes that lunatic, Sampson, Now about Sampson, nee Myron Clouse, Said Delilah: "It just isn't fair, Before haircut Samson slew Philistines. Delilah is truly quite fair Samson's short haircut wasn't, you'll find, "Just tie me up tight by my hair," Said Samson to Delilah, "Your face Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair Said Samson, "This is a huge plinth,
This is file qll
"I'll push on the pillars instead, Your tale of that old story rare, He'd lost it to that movie star, The people laugh at Sampson's plight; Samson is considered aloof Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair Delilah to Samson, "Your hair A fellow named Samson once bawled, He plucked a jawbone from the grass Samson, now deprived of sight, Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair The moral of Sampson remains; "It's known that they like to eat grasses, Samson, the strong man, was fickle -- Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair They said Samson was strong as an ox, Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair When Delilah shaved Sampson's thick locks, Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair Delilah's afflicting my mind. Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham, There once was a man named Lot; In Sodom-Gomorrah they wore a A biblical worthy named Lot, Said Lot, "I've escaped from Gomorrah, Lot was a worthless old pest - The wife of Lot, "We'd better halt. The greatest of all of the NOTs, When Sodom to ruin was once brought, An Israeli lady named Liora, Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrah Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrab Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrah
Who danced in King Herod's cafe.
At her job she worked hard
But with no union card,
All she earned was a head on a tray.
--- Warrick Elrod
Salome was a girl with great heart.
The truth is that instead,
Of John the Baptist's head,
She had asked a more pertinent part.
--- G1976
Through the casement, he spied him a beauty.
"I'd pay any fee
If she'd strip off for me.
Go courtiers and fetch me that cutie."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Collected that gal from the north.
Not Eskimo Nell,
Whose tale you know well,
Nor Lucy who sat on the wharf.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And fetched her in to the court.
There she took off veils, seven,
And the king was in heaven,
'Cause her garment count then was just nought.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And then he jacked off in a trice.
(Why the silly old fool
Didn't use his stiff tool
On the girl, I don't know.) "What's your price?"
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whose muff-diving pleased her no end.
Without thinking she said:
"I'd love John Baptist's head
In my lap, then to heights I'd ascend."
--- Tiddy Ogg
How that dumb-ass that sat on the throne,
Gave Salome her head,
But the poor sap was dead,
And never again was she blown.
--- Tiddy Ogg
(Saw Herodias' daughter), was red;
So with veiled sinuosity
She entailed reciprocity,
Making Herod, then John, lose his head.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8409
As she danced without a stitch on.
She raised many eyebrows
Amongst biblical highbrows --
Like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
--- Ed Wolfert P8407
Had been Salome's purpose, instead,
Since supply and demand
Were not what she'd planned,
She settled for getting a head.
--- A N Wilkins P8903
Then lust in Herod did prevail.
"Take it off," he cried.
John the Baptist died.
Salome dropped her Seventh Veil.
--- Irving Superior P8308
"I know that her dancing's a dread.
Though I make her rehearse,
She just keeps getting worse,
But none of the others gives head.
--- Pierce Evans
How Samson was scissored and vexed.
Then a barber arose,
From his sweet summer doze,
Got rattled and shouted, "Who's next?"
--- Anon
To tell of his strength -- here's a sample:
He knocked out Phillistines
By out-boxing the fiends,
With a crushing blow to the temple.
--- Guy Ben-Moshe
Is too long and unfashionable, I fear.
I will give you a trial
For a much shorter style."
It brought down the house, so I hear!
--- Anon
Was Delilah's. Oh boy, how she flipped.
"If the culprit I find,
I will punish in kind!"
As you know, Samson's locks were all snipped.
--- Anon
Miss Prim, who directs our town's guild
Of actors, is willing
To give me top billing
In "Samson: Delilah fulfilled."
--- Travis Brasell
Beating to death poor old dim me;
Whether Samson or not,
What Delilah got
Was non-shrinking shank of Shimmee!
--- Chris Papa
And brought poor old Samson despair.
With shank but a shrimp,
Decidedly limp,
The shicksa gave Samson the air.
--- Chris Papa
Turned me on, when it used to be there.
Now to realize my fears,
A dick with two ears,
Takes its pace on your shoulders so fair!
--- Oddo Von Schlong TP9901
Was mighty, but not very bright,
For his strength was betrayed
By the jaw of a maid --
A bone with which no one can fight.
--- Lims Unlimited
Hides such an incredible pair.
I'll clip a few snips,
So my eager lips
Can travel wherever they dare!"
--- Anon
The fellow just can't keep his pants on.
Delilah his sweetie's
Cutting back on his Wheaties --
And a haircut before they go dancin'."
--- Arthur Deex P0101
Long haired hippie and bit of a souse.
With Delilah, in fact,
They put on a wild act,
But his encore's what brought down the house.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0312
That the blame for his death I should share.
I did fall for Samson;
I found him quite handsome;
I just don't like men with long hair."
--- Richard Long
In a country far away, like the Phillipines.
After his hair was shorn,
Or was it just torn,
His strength was not worth a hill of beans.
--- Norm Brust
With rose hidden where there's no glare.
To pick from her garden
Will bring you no pardon,
Sam's son said he also lost hair!
--- Anon
Nor any such thing of that kind.
Which after some length,
Cause him to lose his strength,
And eventually made him go blind.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0304
Said Samson. Is that very fair?
Delilah stood back
When the rope snapped. Bang! Crack!
You'll not find my weakness, so there!
--- Christopher Goodwins
Is an ugly outrageous disgrace.
And I really don't care
What you think of my hair,
'Cause with me, you can't get to first base.
--- Observer
Causes me great concern and despair.
It's long and has curls,
Looks much like a girl's,
And hangs down to your pink underwear!"
--- Observer
Not only the width, but the length.
With help from above,
I push and I shove,
But it won't budge an inch nor a tenth.
--- Observer
The building will fall on my head.
I'll smash Philisteens
All to smithereens,
Alas, we shall all then be dead!"
--- Observer
Shows Samson without any care
Of his life or limb.
Who'd regained his vim,
By simply regrowing his hair.
--- Chris Papa
The beauty called Hedy LaMarr.
But time marches on,
And even she's gone,
To much greener pastures, afar.
--- Chris Papa
At Sampson's God; his loss of sight.
Then Lo! his strength came back
Then high, a ceiling crack,
And they who laughed soon saw the light.
--- Irving Superior P8207
And somewhat difficult. In truth
Though cast as tragedian--
He had, as comedian--
An act that could bring down the roof.
--- Aaron Bell P9412
Would look better if it was not there.
If you don't shave your head,
I won't take you to bed.
And sex with me is beyond compare."
--- Anon
I find is too shaggy to bear!"
Samson said, "But my wig
Makes my muscles grow big."
As he pinched her on her derriere!
--- Connalt
"Last night I was sure I'd get balled--
But Delilah likes locks
Instead of men's cocks--
So this morning I'm totally bald!"
--- Norm Storer P9112
And smote each Philistine who'd pass...
From that Jawbone Day
You still hear people say,
That was the greatest piece of ass.
--- Irving Superior P9309
The pillars pushed with all his might.
And Lo! Walls shake!
And High! Ceilings break!
And all but Sampson saw the light.
--- Irving Superior P9309
Is long and thick, and so fair!
So why is your weinie
So thin and so teenie?
You're hung like a horse - but a mare!"
--- Anon
Scratches my tongue when I go down there."
So she gave him a clip
But the scissors did slip;
Power lost for the advent of Nair.
--- Anon
There is much that brute strength attains.
He gives it away
For only a lay,
Because brawn's not much good without brains.
--- A N Wilkins P9309
With Philistines slain by the masses,
When using a bone
Of the type that is grown
In their jaws," cited Samson, Onassis.
--- Anon
Lots of girls got to play with his pickle.
One said, "Sam, you're strong
But your not very long.
That's not a fuck, that's a tickle!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8207
Is so soft and so blonde way down there..."
She grabbed hold of a lock
That surrounded his cock,
And then shaved him until he was bare!
--- Anon
But his strength was locked in his locks.
When they cut his hair,
His might vanished in air;
He was weak from his head to his hocks.
--- Thomas A Ratliff P0305
Is causing the natives to stare.
Allow me to clip --
I'll just take a snip --
And you'll be a new man, I swear."
--- Finnegan
He could no longer squeeze water from rocks,
His libido was screwed,
He was one fucked up dude;
A warning to all arrogant jocks.
--- Anon
Has grown pretty bushy down there.
It's really quite thick;
I can't see your dick.
Are you sure that you still have a pair?
--- Anon
Delectably lowered behind,
My lips seeking rose,
She chugs on my nose.
Sam's son said it made him go blind!
--- Anon
"For religion I don't give a god damn!
I've frequently peed in
The Garden of Eden,
And buggered my guide when in Sodom."
--- L0569
From God a promise he got.
No good men could he find;
He got out just in time,
'Fore the city was scorched on the spot.
--- Anon
Big grin on their faces and swore a
Front was a back.
When they went to the sack,
They would screw 'til their backsides were sore-a.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0104
Lived out where the action was hot.
Those guys out in Sodom?
Other guys had all rode 'em,
Till God noticed and said, "Thou shalt not."
--- Isaac Asimov
That city of sin, shame, and horrah.
It wasn't my fault
My wife turned into salt,
So I'll marry my daughter tomorra."
--- Anon
Drunken, passed out, half undressed.
He done with his daughter
What he shouldn't have oughter,
Inventing what we call 'incest'.
--- Arthur Deex P8207
I know you'll say it's all my fault,
But I've a hunch
When I packed lunch,
That I forgot to bring the salt."
--- Irving Superior P8207
The Lord gave to that wife of Lot's.
But it never took,
She just had to look!
When you're salt, it sure cures the hots.
--- Larry Davis P8604
A prophet gave voice to the thought,
"What's that you've got?
The wife of old Lot?
I'll take that with a pillar of salt."
--- Barry Rosenberg P0607
Was known as the world's loudest snorer.
The nightly sensation
Sets up a vibration,
That sounded like Sodom and Gomorrha!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Perished in fiery horrah.
For re-viewing their odium,
Mrs. Lot turned to sodium --
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Biblical Limericks P0105
Perished in fiery horrah.
Ms Lot in mid-stride
Became NaCl;
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Arthur Deex P0105
Perished in fiery horrah.
Ms Lot morphed (her own fault)
Into plain table salt.
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Arthur Deex P0105