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There once was a girl, Salome,
Who danced in King Herod's cafe.
At her job she worked hard
But with no union card,
All she earned was a head on a tray.
--- Warrick Elrod

Though a biblical strip-teasing tart,
Salome was a girl with great heart.
The truth is that instead,
Of John the Baptist's head,
She had asked a more pertinent part.
--- G1976

King Herod, at rest from his duty,
Through the casement, he spied him a beauty.
"I'd pay any fee
If she'd strip off for me.
Go courtiers and fetch me that cutie."
--- Tiddy Ogg

So one, two, three courtiers went forth,
Collected that gal from the north.
Not Eskimo Nell,
Whose tale you know well,
Nor Lucy who sat on the wharf.
--- Tiddy Ogg

'Twas this young Salome they sought,
And fetched her in to the court.
There she took off veils, seven,
And the king was in heaven,
'Cause her garment count then was just nought.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Gee, honey," he said, "That was nice."
And then he jacked off in a trice.
(Why the silly old fool
Didn't use his stiff tool
On the girl, I don't know.) "What's your price?"
--- Tiddy Ogg

Salome'd a baptising friend,
Whose muff-diving pleased her no end.
Without thinking she said:
"I'd love John Baptist's head
In my lap, then to heights I'd ascend."
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now the rest of the story's well known;
How that dumb-ass that sat on the throne,
Gave Salome her head,
But the poor sap was dead,
And never again was she blown.
--- Tiddy Ogg

All the Baptist could see, when she wed
(Saw Herodias' daughter), was red;
So with veiled sinuosity
She entailed reciprocity,
Making Herod, then John, lose his head.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8409

Salome had the grace of a swan
As she danced without a stitch on.
She raised many eyebrows
Amongst biblical highbrows --
Like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
--- Ed Wolfert P8407

Although making a prophet, she said,
Had been Salome's purpose, instead,
Since supply and demand
Were not what she'd planned,
She settled for getting a head.
--- A N Wilkins P8903

Salome danced and Herod pale.
Then lust in Herod did prevail.
"Take it off," he cried.
John the Baptist died.
Salome dropped her Seventh Veil.
--- Irving Superior P8308

Of Salome, Herod once said,
"I know that her dancing's a dread.
Though I make her rehearse,
She just keeps getting worse,
But none of the others gives head.
--- Pierce Evans

A clergyman read from his text,
How Samson was scissored and vexed.
Then a barber arose,
From his sweet summer doze,
Got rattled and shouted, "Who's next?"
--- Anon

The stories of Samson are ample
To tell of his strength -- here's a sample:
He knocked out Phillistines
By out-boxing the fiends,
With a crushing blow to the temple.
--- Guy Ben-Moshe

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Is too long and unfashionable, I fear.
I will give you a trial
For a much shorter style."
It brought down the house, so I hear!
--- Anon

An eagle whose wings had been clipped
Was Delilah's. Oh boy, how she flipped.
"If the culprit I find,
I will punish in kind!"
As you know, Samson's locks were all snipped.
--- Anon

Because of my cock's strength and build,
Miss Prim, who directs our town's guild
Of actors, is willing
To give me top billing
In "Samson: Delilah fulfilled."
--- Travis Brasell

Oy, vat a headache you gimmee,
Beating to death poor old dim me;
Whether Samson or not,
What Delilah got
Was non-shrinking shank of Shimmee!
--- Chris Papa

That was until she cut his hair
And brought poor old Samson despair.
With shank but a shrimp,
Decidedly limp,
The shicksa gave Samson the air.
--- Chris Papa

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Turned me on, when it used to be there.
Now to realize my fears,
A dick with two ears,
Takes its pace on your shoulders so fair!
--- Oddo Von Schlong TP9901

Samson, the barber's delight,
Was mighty, but not very bright,
For his strength was betrayed
By the jaw of a maid --
A bone with which no one can fight.
--- Lims Unlimited

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Hides such an incredible pair.
I'll clip a few snips,
So my eager lips
Can travel wherever they dare!"
--- Anon

"There goes that lunatic, Sampson,
The fellow just can't keep his pants on.
Delilah his sweetie's
Cutting back on his Wheaties --
And a haircut before they go dancin'."
--- Arthur Deex P0101

Now about Sampson, nee Myron Clouse,
Long haired hippie and bit of a souse.
With Delilah, in fact,
They put on a wild act,
But his encore's what brought down the house.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0312

Said Delilah: "It just isn't fair,
That the blame for his death I should share.
I did fall for Samson;
I found him quite handsome;
I just don't like men with long hair."
--- Richard Long

Before haircut Samson slew Philistines.
In a country far away, like the Phillipines.
After his hair was shorn,
Or was it just torn,
His strength was not worth a hill of beans.
--- Norm Brust

Delilah is truly quite fair
With rose hidden where there's no glare.
To pick from her garden
Will bring you no pardon,
Sam's son said he also lost hair!
--- Anon

Samson's short haircut wasn't, you'll find,
Nor any such thing of that kind.
Which after some length,
Cause him to lose his strength,
And eventually made him go blind.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0304

"Just tie me up tight by my hair,"
Said Samson. Is that very fair?
Delilah stood back
When the rope snapped. Bang! Crack!
You'll not find my weakness, so there!
--- Christopher Goodwins

Said Samson to Delilah, "Your face
Is an ugly outrageous disgrace.
And I really don't care
What you think of my hair,
'Cause with me, you can't get to first base.
--- Observer

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Causes me great concern and despair.
It's long and has curls,
Looks much like a girl's,
And hangs down to your pink underwear!"
--- Observer

Said Samson, "This is a huge plinth,
Not only the width, but the length.
With help from above,
I push and I shove,
But it won't budge an inch nor a tenth.
--- Observer

This is file qll

"I'll push on the pillars instead,
The building will fall on my head.
I'll smash Philisteens
All to smithereens,
Alas, we shall all then be dead!"
--- Observer

Your tale of that old story rare,
Shows Samson without any care
Of his life or limb.
Who'd regained his vim,
By simply regrowing his hair.
--- Chris Papa

He'd lost it to that movie star,
The beauty called Hedy LaMarr.
But time marches on,
And even she's gone,
To much greener pastures, afar.
--- Chris Papa

The people laugh at Sampson's plight;
At Sampson's God; his loss of sight.
Then Lo! his strength came back
Then high, a ceiling crack,
And they who laughed soon saw the light.
--- Irving Superior P8207

Samson is considered aloof
And somewhat difficult. In truth
Though cast as tragedian--
He had, as comedian--
An act that could bring down the roof.
--- Aaron Bell P9412

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Would look better if it was not there.
If you don't shave your head,
I won't take you to bed.
And sex with me is beyond compare."
--- Anon

Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
I find is too shaggy to bear!"
Samson said, "But my wig
Makes my muscles grow big."
As he pinched her on her derriere!
--- Connalt

A fellow named Samson once bawled,
"Last night I was sure I'd get balled--
But Delilah likes locks
Instead of men's cocks--
So this morning I'm totally bald!"
--- Norm Storer P9112

He plucked a jawbone from the grass
And smote each Philistine who'd pass...
From that Jawbone Day
You still hear people say,
That was the greatest piece of ass.
--- Irving Superior P9309

Samson, now deprived of sight,
The pillars pushed with all his might.
And Lo! Walls shake!
And High! Ceilings break!
And all but Sampson saw the light.
--- Irving Superior P9309

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Is long and thick, and so fair!
So why is your weinie
So thin and so teenie?
You're hung like a horse - but a mare!"
--- Anon

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Scratches my tongue when I go down there."
So she gave him a clip
But the scissors did slip;
Power lost for the advent of Nair.
--- Anon

The moral of Sampson remains;
There is much that brute strength attains.
He gives it away
For only a lay,
Because brawn's not much good without brains.
--- A N Wilkins P9309

"It's known that they like to eat grasses,
With Philistines slain by the masses,
When using a bone
Of the type that is grown
In their jaws," cited Samson, Onassis.
--- Anon

Samson, the strong man, was fickle --
Lots of girls got to play with his pickle.
One said, "Sam, you're strong
But your not very long.
That's not a fuck, that's a tickle!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8207

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Is so soft and so blonde way down there..."
She grabbed hold of a lock
That surrounded his cock,
And then shaved him until he was bare!
--- Anon

They said Samson was strong as an ox,
But his strength was locked in his locks.
When they cut his hair,
His might vanished in air;
He was weak from his head to his hocks.
--- Thomas A Ratliff P0305

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Is causing the natives to stare.
Allow me to clip --
I'll just take a snip --
And you'll be a new man, I swear."
--- Finnegan

When Delilah shaved Sampson's thick locks,
He could no longer squeeze water from rocks,
His libido was screwed,
He was one fucked up dude;
A warning to all arrogant jocks.
--- Anon

Said Delilah to Samson, "Your hair
Has grown pretty bushy down there.
It's really quite thick;
I can't see your dick.
Are you sure that you still have a pair?
--- Anon

Delilah's afflicting my mind.
Delectably lowered behind,
My lips seeking rose,
She chugs on my nose.
Sam's son said it made him go blind!
--- Anon

Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham,
"For religion I don't give a god damn!
I've frequently peed in
The Garden of Eden,
And buggered my guide when in Sodom."
--- L0569

There once was a man named Lot;
From God a promise he got.
No good men could he find;
He got out just in time,
'Fore the city was scorched on the spot.
--- Anon

In Sodom-Gomorrah they wore a
Big grin on their faces and swore a
Front was a back.
When they went to the sack,
They would screw 'til their backsides were sore-a.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0104

A biblical worthy named Lot,
Lived out where the action was hot.
Those guys out in Sodom?
Other guys had all rode 'em,
Till God noticed and said, "Thou shalt not."
--- Isaac Asimov

Said Lot, "I've escaped from Gomorrah,
That city of sin, shame, and horrah.
It wasn't my fault
My wife turned into salt,
So I'll marry my daughter tomorra."
--- Anon

Lot was a worthless old pest -
Drunken, passed out, half undressed.
He done with his daughter
What he shouldn't have oughter,
Inventing what we call 'incest'.
--- Arthur Deex P8207

The wife of Lot, "We'd better halt.
I know you'll say it's all my fault,
But I've a hunch
When I packed lunch,
That I forgot to bring the salt."
--- Irving Superior P8207

The greatest of all of the NOTs,
The Lord gave to that wife of Lot's.
But it never took,
She just had to look!
When you're salt, it sure cures the hots.
--- Larry Davis P8604

When Sodom to ruin was once brought,
A prophet gave voice to the thought,
"What's that you've got?
The wife of old Lot?
I'll take that with a pillar of salt."
--- Barry Rosenberg P0607

An Israeli lady named Liora,
Was known as the world's loudest snorer.
The nightly sensation
Sets up a vibration,
That sounded like Sodom and Gomorrha!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrah
Perished in fiery horrah.
For re-viewing their odium,
Mrs. Lot turned to sodium --
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Biblical Limericks P0105

Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrab
Perished in fiery horrah.
Ms Lot in mid-stride
Became NaCl;
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Arthur Deex P0105

Vile Sodom and tainted Gomorrah
Perished in fiery horrah.
Ms Lot morphed (her own fault)
Into plain table salt.
It could happen again, here tomorrah.
--- Arthur Deex P0105


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