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In Sodom, great feasts knew no halting, Don't pity the wife of Old Lot, Some Amraphel--bloke in a crown Our town has a spinster named Cora. In ancient Sodom there would be Though some deities may have been clods, King David lay gasping for air, As King David lay sick in a cave, Abijah pursued a just war; Abraham got the word from above So now, Belteshazzar was Dan, Neb wanted some bright young men who Job came out in boils everywhere; On reading the old book of Judith, The Lord is my shepherd. He leads me Comfort my people and speak God's holiness, greatness, and power Abednego sat in the furnace Those three biblical names, how they flow. When Pan, full of classical bonhommie, When the rapist attacked old Miss Rand To Samaria the Lord one day slipped. Jeremiah the Prophet got stuck "Jerry, boy," spake the Lord with a gleam, Per instructions, the frau of Herr Schwartz The Lord in His wisdom so smart Eglon of Moab, quite fat, Holofernes took Judith to bed (Assyrian general, Book of Judith)
As the sexual lore, mostly tribal, The Lord treats me just like a sheep, Ah yes, the Horsemen; there's four. Revelation, I think is a joke, Apocalypse? Why, but of course! To Naomi, Ruth, "Withered thou growest. God utters the words of creation, A good wife must be thoughtful and sweet A French kiss is with lips asunder, I woke with a smile on my face, There was a young fellow named Mellin, There was a young fellow named Menzies, Said a lass to a lecher named Legman: A talented artist named Merritt I've pounded on many a snatch; If you're claiming a pain in the fingers; On the track, the guy ran in the race; In Baghdad I've found me a wench There was an Old Person of Chile, An Arab Emir from Kuwait You screamed out in pain of delight Josh Jones is of really no use, he The vending machine made by Steiner A fellow with love-making flair, Priscilla reacted with wonder A diet, I think I will try; The Greeks are a fanciful race. Said the frightened young fellow names Keith, While painting his model, old Pete I'm terribly sorry you're sick, Nick, A girl of great height was Miss Hunt; I hear in the coo of a dove When eating a veggie, beware! There once was a man named Skinner, A massive minge eater was he, There once was a lady named Lizard, There was a young fellow named Crassus A happy old hooker named Grace,
And Lot was the guest they all called in.
Said each host, "We love you,
But your wife must come, too.
The stew is too flat and needs salting."
--- Anon
Who was frozen to salt on the spot;
'Cause she sure got a kick
When the the cows came to lick
At her highly salacious old twat.
--- Anon
Had it in for the neighboring town.
Reckoned people in Sodom
Were creepy, so sod 'em,
And slaughtered 'em, with their pants down.
--- Paul Cowan
With no one in town to adore her --
No lovers, no beaus --
When she dreams, she goes
To Sodom or else to Gomorrah.
--- Irving Superior P8405
Such orgies and perversity
That even nowadays
One hears often the phrase,
"And then he tried to Sodom me!"
--- Irving Superior P8207
King Solomon played all the odds.
Though he liked Jahweh best,
He worshipped the rest
So as not to offend any gods.
--- A N Wilkins P9303
So they brought him a young virgin fair.
She tried warming his schwantz
But there was no response;
King Dave was too far gone to care.
--- Phil Cannibal P9103
A young virgin was called who was brave.
She tried warming his thing,
Thus to succor the king,
But she failed even unto the grave.
--- Albin Chaplin P9103
Had thirty-eight childre, no more.
I kid you not, kiddo,
Go read it in Iddo,
Who wrote of this fine King of yore.
--- Anon
To give his son, Isaac, a shove.
Should you say 'twas Ishmael
It's the Tel Aviv Jail;
A lesson in brotherly love.
--- Arthur Deex P0607
And Az was Abidnego, man!
And Han was called Shadrach
While Mishael was Meshach,
All part of old King Nebby's plan
--- Christopher Goodwins
Were skillful in knowledge. You'll do
Azarmah and Daniel,
Hananiah, Mishael --
Nebby gave them new names as you do!
--- Christopher Goodwins
A thing that might make a man swear.
But sitting in ashes,
Job scraped at his rashes,
And spent a week pulling his hair.
--- Christopher Goodwins
A person cannot but concludeth
That the ways of our God
Are exceedingly odd:
A truth that this story exudeth.
--- Armand E Singer 522
Beside the still waters, he feeds me.
I walk without fear.
Rod and staff show He's near!
The feast at his table, soon will be.
--- Christopher Goodwins
Says God, and please tell them this week,
Their warfare is over,
From sins now recover.
It's true, both for strong and for weak.
--- Christopher Goodwins
We praise, with loud music, each hour!
Harp, trumpet, and lute,
Cymbals, dancers, and flute!
All who breathe -- praise God, our.
--- Christopher Goodwins
And said, "Well, I guess this will learn us;
But you, Mr Meshach,
Go out there with Shadrach
And tell them, `Ha, ha! You can't burn us!'"
--- Limber Limericks
Among the first ones we did know.
In his evening prayers,
Names he intoned were theirs:
Caddy Shack, Me slack, To Bed We go.
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Met a maiden, she cried, "Don't get onna me!
And the goats I keep, too,
I forbid you to screw;
I have just read a book -- Deuteronomy!"
--- G1205
She got a firm grip on his gland.
Said the Lord, breaking wind,
"I'm afraid you have sinned.
For this I shall cut off your hand."
--- Phil Cannibal P9105
Heads of men with his sword there he clipped,
And the children were dashed
Into pieces and mashed,
And those women with child were all ripped.
--- Albin Chaplin P9106
Laminating parchments with muck.
With his beard full of glue,
He felt terribly blue --
Quit depressed all the time, the poor schmuck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Hide your jockstrap unclean by the stream."
Jerry did and did say,
"Why it's rotted away!"
Spake the Lord with a smile, "So it seem!"
--- Phil Cannibal P9103
In the garbage did bury her shorts.
Then she said to him, "Herr,
They are unfit to wear."
He said, "That's what you get for your sports!"
--- Phil Cannibal P9103
Says my foreskin and I should both part,
But I question His sanity
When He asks me with vanity
For the foreskin I have in my heart.
--- Phil Cannibal P9104
In his penthouse privy sat.
Southpaw Ehud
Skewered him good.
The Israelites laughed at that.
--- Jim Jambor P9106
When he was too old, the girl said,
To rise or to stand
For the matter in hand.
No wonder she cut off his head.
--- A N Wilkins P8509
Became the Law, sacred and scribal,
The only sex manual
From King David to Daniel
Was Leviticus in the old Bible.
--- A N Wilkins P9108
My wants are all filled in a leap.
I must lie in the grass
By a lake clear as glass
And my soul is made no longer cheap.
--- Arthur Deex P8604
Iraq has a Babylon whore.
H5N1
Could take the Lord's son,
And Allah could take many more.
--- John Miller
By a writer so high on a toke,
That the things that he saw,
Break all natural law
And cause me to laugh -- till I choke.
--- John Miller
I knew it would come with some force.
The way we're all dead
And the sky has turned red,
And the four of you, each on a horse.
--- Anon
This is file qkl
And being thou old, whether thou knowest
Or not, thou might stray
And not find thy way,
So therefore I say, "Whither thou goest...'"
--- Irving Superior P9004
Abraham fathers a nation.
Old Testament gloom;
Jesus raised from his tomb;
Acts, Letters, and then Revelation.
--- Richard Long
And if husband is late, be discreet.
Although dinner is cold
There is no need to scold,
For perhaps somewhere else he did eat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0885
(That Brit's kiss at all is a wonder).
A Swiss kiss done well
Should end with a yodel,
And Australian kiss is down-under.
--- David Miller Q
For with me slept Carole, in lace.
What a way to awake,
Made my trouser snake quake;
As my tongue lapped her tight smilely space.
--- Gearhart
And this is the story they're tellin';
He spelt cunt with a "k"
And his reason was, "Say,
I'm much better at eatin' than spellin'."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0859
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies.
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bifocal lenses!
--- G0884
"Get up off you knees, and don't beg, man.
With your tongue in my pussy,
And your necktie all juicy,
You look like a butter-&-egg man."
--- G0869
Was painting a nude in his garret,
And he said, with great lust,
"I must wolf it, I must,
For I fear I can no longer bear it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0860
Some busy, some barely a thatch.
But before it is kissed,
I always insist
That collars and cuffs have to match.
--- SFA
Don't be seen as the one who malingers.
She's easily tricked
And you've soon got it licked.
It is he who's the most cunning, lingers.
--- Doug Harris
He kept up an incredible pace.
But while he was running,
I was ever so cunning,
Got his girlfriend to sit on my face.
--- Anon
Whose muscles invariably clench
When I drop to my knees
And give her a squeeze,
While kissing her deep in her trench.
--- Hugh Clary
Whose conduct was painful and silly;
He sat on the stairs
Eating apples and pears,
And Alice and Shirley and Millie.
--- Edwardian Leer 021 a
Can be found 'mid the vengeance and hate,
In a moment of stasis
Beside an oasis,
Beneath a palm, eating his date.
--- Martin Wellborn P8308
As I tongued your drain through the night
The threat of the chain
[I have to explain]
Did nought to restrain, just excite...
--- Anon
Farts noisily, stinkly and juicily.
Eats beans from the can
And his sister, "Gross" Nan,
And named his sons Alice and Lucy.
--- Anon
Made profits from New York to China.
A dime got you cokes,
And a quarter bought smokes;
For a buck you could eat a vagina.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1297
Was licking his sweetie "down there";
When a small puff of gas
Was released from her ass,
He said "Ah, that's a breath of fresh air."
--- Pickelmeister a
When Australian kisses I gunned her.
They're the same as the French
'Cause you clinch with a wench,
But then they are given down under.
--- Hugh Clary
No bake, no boil, no fry.
It will please her
Angel or sleazer,
When I eat out at the Y.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They've a game that I'll cite as a case.
The rules, more or less,
Are that you have to guess
A girl's weight, as she sits on your face.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9210a
"I'm afraid I've grown hair 'tween my teeth."
He was shaken with fright,
Then thought of last night,
Remembered, and smiled with relief.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0310
Observed how she spread out her feet
To expose her vagina.
So he said, "Angelina,
I must go to the kitchen to eat."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1289
And I'm glad that the poison's not strychnic.
It's that fat girl you ate--
What's her name? Oh, yes, Kate.
You just overate on the picnic.
--- G2733
Her man was a very small runt.
When in front he did face her
And reached up to embrace her,
He was faced with a faceful of cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0830
And also the wind words of love,
Then I think how I hate
This great burden of weight,
As heavyset Babs squats above.
--- Travis Brasell
Be sure your proceeding with care.
Chomp-Lick, Oh what fun!
And now that you're done,
Help her back up into her wheelchair.
--- Yagno's Train
Whose wife had a TV set in her.
It was stuck in her crotch,
So he'd nibble and watch,
Thus inventing the first TV dinner.
--- Anon
Till he dined on a cunt with VD.
His throat is all burned,
And his stomach it churned,
And he showed her what he'd had for tea.
--- Anon
Who got lost in a pink candy blizzard,
With a fellow named Jim
Who wanted to swim
Up her legs to visit her gizzard.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose girl was the finest of lasses.
When he kissed her goodnight,
Her legs closed so tight,
That she fractured the frames of his glasses.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0804A
Once sponsored a cunt-lapping race.
It was hard for beginners
To tell who were winners,
With cunt hairs all over the place.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0853
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