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Toast Point, I welcome you back! Da Homer, you're really too kind, Toast Point and Sage, I do thank you, The judicial sage of Toast Point, My Wumpus - so thoughtful and kind Said Toast Point, as he sat on his rumpus, Well Arch, you are to be commended; You can't see me, I'm just lurkin'; The net has left me perplexed, It's pitiful shit I abhor, Some poets are now so obsessed I sent off my verse to an editor I'd not print this though you were a creditor."
WriterMan's had quite enough! Writerman welcomes back Ginger, WriterMan's semen tastes like wine, Poor Travis and Petrie Dish Sue Young Carol and Marty and Arden While Tiddy and Peter and Cybe Old Allen has gone to the dogs. Nice tale abou us, Arch, but wait. Hey Arch! You've been rather remiss What's this? A new limb to enjoy? It seems I have had my fun, Back when I first logged on, I am in a wheelchair, though; Before I leave the limerick scene, The last name, Gearhart, I took I don't even live in IOWAY, I'll be fifteen three weeks from today, The DOJ's web page was hacked! "You know that they're watching," you say, If they work for the CIA, you said, So just how the Hell have you been Words fail me, I cannot express Assumptions you've made here have lead No promise I'll reign in my cock, 'til A birthday I had, true enough; My darling, you must have seen double; That's stubble? Oh thanks, I won't worry. And us girls also love when you beat My psychiatrist told me today, (M.P.D. - multiple personality disorder)
Sometimes I will write as Charlene Ivana B. Scrued ran away; Hello, I am Max, closet queen; From being a voyeur here, Now by queen, I mean I like drag; A romanace that we built out of Lego; Every night, we both stoked the fires, From San Diego she came, I had wondered just how I could get Though we'd sworn our love for always, Though she didn't quite ring my bell, Forget her! Forget her! Forget her! Writerman, don't be forlorn -- There once was a man with great fear And as for them checking the net... "But the Reds are no problem!" you say. Some limericks were posted by Persians While threatening lawsuits for libel, For nine months she angrily posted Then to the Internet's horrida, Though she in her own special way This caused a great cry and a shout; And surprise, surprise, from beyond Western skies, So again, we were forced to read She thought anyone she could handle. Like a mule that's been kicked in the head,
We've missed you and your page; that's a fact!
The lewd and crude verse,
Perverted and terse,
Helps keep my sanity intact.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But a niche I've created, I find...
Considered my duty
To support what is lewdy,
And grist for the true dirty mind!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For creating this site, credit's due!
Although I'm not gay,
I think I should say,
If I were Ginger, Syl, or Charl, I would wank you!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A poet he craved to annoint.
With a urinous hiss,
He fermented the piss
And rubbed it all over his joint.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Supplied his own sweet Valentine -
Since I'm too fat for candy
He thought 'twould be dandy
To hop into bed and be mine!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"We do not need strangers to jump us,
We've now settled down
Outside New York town,
With our fuzzy and cuddly Wumpus!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That link on your site is just splendid.
It was Tony's site (Tony Davie)
That brought lims to light
For me. What a shame his life ended.
--- Carol
No time; I'm stuck here hard workin'.
I'll come back pretty soon,
Maybe next noon.
I'll pick up the threads and my merkin.
--- Archie
Chagrined, and quite sorely vexed,
'Cause I don't have the poop
On what that this group
Comes from or is going to next.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Affecting folks that I adore.
There's sadness, dismay;
I even heard say,
"What in Hell did Frank do that for?"
--- Anon
With Bill Clinton, which leaves me distressed.
It's surely a waste
And a lowering of taste,
From the usual stuff (like incest).
--- John Miller
Who even before he had read it, or
Scanned half a line,
Perceived it was mine,
And wrote, "L. Perrine,
--- Laurence Perrine P8707
This party is getting too rough!
"Naughty" is nice --
But here's some advice --
Let's can the mean-spirited stuff.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With a cock that's so hot, it could singe her!
So I'll make Ginger smile
Writerman style,
Lest Ginger give me the finger.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of a vintage exceedingly fine.
He's got brains, taste, and class;
He wins this lady's ass --
Og, please be my own Valentine?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Have left us with nothing to do.
And big Momma Ulla
Has found a new fella --
Now Ward thinks he's hard though he's new.
--- Archie
Write lims that make me quickly harden.
But Dirruk and Eva
Just talk about beaver,
And Fluffs is still left in the garden.
--- Archie
Screw animals kept by our tribe,
And good old soft John
Just keeps writing on --
Yet Hugh is our cleverest scribe.
--- Archie
(I hear he is close to Randog's)
And Frank and ol Arch
Still hope to debauch
Sweet Ericka our of her togs.
--- Archie
I must set the record here straight.
Sweet Eva's so hot,
Long walks we need not.
In no time that girlie get laid.
--- Dirruk
Forgetting to cite Sister Chris,
Whose keen appetite
Compels her to bite
Our Manhood (disguised as a kiss).
--- Randog
Come closer, you naughty wee boy...
You won't languish long
With a name like Randong,
You're bound to be Sis Chris's joy.
--- Sister Christina
And now my time here is done.
But before I go,
I feel you should know
I've misled you all, every one.
--- Gearhart
I told you my name was Jon.
That was a lie;
I'm not even a guy;
I've just been having my fun.
--- Gearhart
About this I wouldn't lie, you know.
But things that I've said
About college misled
You to believe I'm not young, but old.
--- Gearhart
I telling you I'm just fourteen.
An impressionable kid,
(Behind persona I hid.)
My real name is actually Charlene.
--- Gearhart
From a page in the telephone book.
I won't tell my real one.
It's just so much fun
Pretending I'm some other schnook.
--- Gearhart
Like I said just the other day.
I'm from the state
Of ten thousand lakes,
And I've only one thing left to say.
--- Gearhart
And right back in school, Hooray!
I won't have time
To bother with rhyme,
Adios, muchachos, good day.
--- Gearhart
The CIA's server was cracked!
Web geeks they will hire,
'Cause their server's on fire,
And the Webmasters there were all sacked!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Like Big Brother, like CIA.
'Cause Steeve's web page was scoured,
Fifteen times per hour,
And that's just counting yesterday.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
By now I'm sure you would be dead.
'Cause the spooks got the means,
To wipe you out clean,
If you tattle the tales of the Fed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Alive, but how fat or still lean?
And still filling bytes
While dressed in green tights,
With thoughts that are mostly obscene?
--- Anon
This is file qfl
How I deeply, completely obsess
Over men who can shag
In green-tighted drag,
While whispering sweet hexadec.
--- Anon
To digressions clear out of the thread
(GREEN TIGHTS? Not a chance!
They're pink to enhance
The pallor I have now I'm dead.)
--- Anon
It's yours just as hard as a rock; still
I will switch to green,
If you'll promise, obscene
Acts together will never be octal!
--- Anon
And I got me some really good stuff.
A candle in sand,
A limerick and
A picture of Frank in the buff.
--- Marlene Lewis
Such chatter will get me in trouble.
I'm wearing enough
And not in the buff.
In fact, there is forty years stubble.
--- SFA
Guess I was in too big a hurry.
Looked close to inspect
Then had to get my eyes checked,
'Cause I thought they had gone all blurry.
--- Marlene Lewis
Our behinds with the length of your meat,
And (that's also a fact)
The performance of act
At the speed of a rabbit in heat.
--- Anon
I could safely come back and play.
He said M.P.D.
Is what's plaguing me,
And I should confront it this way.
--- Gearhart
(The jailbait girl of fourteen)
Sometimes as Gearhart,
That ignorant old fart,
And sometimes as Max, closet queen.
--- Gearhart
The last thing that I heard her say
As she left the group.
This limerick troop,
She might drop by again someday.
--- Gearhart
I was ousted by Gear and Charlene.
Thought I'd write in,
But where to begin?
I've got many thoughts obscene.
--- Gearhart
I know I have nothing to fear.
You all are a riot;
Sex is your main diet --
Straight, bi, bondaged, or queer.
--- Gearhart
I am hetero, not a fag.
I like licking clits
And fondling tits,
And it's never men that I shag.
--- Gearhart
Me, Miami, and she, San Diego.
Didn't matter to me;
Seemed a match meant to be
Like vermicelli and Prego!
--- Writerman
Burning oil and telephone wires.
Her voice, her refrain,
I craved like cocaine.
All doomsayers put down as liars!
--- Writerman
Writerman's Internet Flame!
The past has passed --
Together at last!
Kathy's the young lady's name!
--- Writerman
Hooked on someone I'd never met!
Doesn't work, now I know, sir --
I'll choose one who lives closer
Lest when she comes -- she comes on a jet.
--- Writerman
She was out of here in two days!
This "gentleman sucker",
He never did fuck her --
Fuck her and maybe she stays!
--- Writerman
The thing seemed to be going quite well.
But when cybermate Kathy
Got too psychopathy,
It turned into a romance from Hell!
--- Writerman
You can do, oh, so much better!
Now though 'twas a shock,
Time to perk up your cock
And plug a more sane Internetter!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This woman is not one to mourn.
She wasn't for you.
So you're one, not yet two,
Don't give up -- raise your head, blow your horn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The CIA was checking out limericks here.
I'm willing to bet
They don't monitor the net.
So chill out and have yourself a beer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'd be happy to call on your bet.
The Feds would be shirking
Their jobs if not lurking
To parry the Communist Threat!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Well the Feds just can't see it that way.
I hate to annoy ya';
There's more paranoia
In THEM than in ME any day!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In multiple nefarious versions;
Hidden deep in those rhymes
Were hideous crimes,
Encryptions, and devious perversions.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The Queen was thumping her bible.
Not the one the priests read
In their hour of need,
But one where her libels are viable.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And ranted and raved and boasted,
But to our regret
She was kicked off the net.
To her memory, we stood up and posted.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She found an account down in Florida
From which she could claim
University's name,
Without ever entering a corrida.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Thought this access OK,
Florida ops disagreed
Citing lack of real need,
And took her net-acess away.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The queen had been beaten about.
She fled to her lair,
Tossing back her red hair,
And planning revenge for this rout.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Came a lapdog barking quite loudly.
He knew not repercussions
Of libel discussions,
And so relayed her messages proudly.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Her every skittering screed,
And wonder and wait
For her postings of hate
Relayed from Tahiti, by fate.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Her words were her pride, her mantle.
But this state of mind
Left her legally blind,
Like a moth flying into a candle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She staggered off filled up with dread.
But each removal from access
Gave her what she liked bes':
The opportunity to rise from the dead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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