Next time an account in Dow-jee-shi, She pays for her access now She has not yet won in the court; Though that little libel law firm For a hypocrit cannot remain She really made horrible mistakes Countries' laws aren't, you see Posting rant after rant after rant, And her lawyers really know not As with everything else, she is doomed. She wasn't done in by verbacity, I'm glad you are back in the news, The problem with finding a bike But what if the wheels number four One-wheelers are buggers to ride; So Tjarda, I hope that you found I've read through this news group tonight; There's John and his critical rant; There's Peter and his anti-Scot snipes, Kiss Karen and Bruce are in love; Marlene's given up on Duct Tape; And Tiddy is supplying our pasties! Nik's back with us, for a short while, Our Ardens is becoming quite quiet. A pleasant return has been Cheryl And Peter's old friend named Lucy And speaking of that madly pass- Bob-Bob has turned into a Frog; Adventurous H's done a bunk; Sweet Jayne I have left till the last. I've got rid of that lot and now, Just look at that sky--it is dawn. There were limerists galore on the net,
This is file qel
Wherever you are on this Earth, Such loathing's a waste and is bad; Well look who has stumbled in here, I gained a new bride, it is true; Adventures on boats, trains and planes Beelzebub, say I forthwith, I was glad that you were not offended, I can tell by the writings of Birch The Internet server connects us And the rest of you still cracking wise Marlene, of poets you write. And then there is old Ogden Nash. But none, with your verse can compete. If I weren't already taken, I'm sorry, I wasn't real nice, My passion is growing each time I salute my sweet darling, named Lori, How nice that you're trying to be I'd rather be set on by killer-bees, So welcome aboard, Mister Chaine, Dear Ann Gasser, Your writing's sublime. You don't mind taking a peek, I admit, that sometimes, in a stupor, Some fuckers are sending me spam I don't know what it has to do We doubt that Armenian cuisine It looks like your igloo done melted; The next time you go out a-boozing, I have tried to make this rhyme scan; Or shall we now use spammers bums Archie
When a guy says the money is quick, While your ears are tender and sweet,
After that a nickname in Brindisi,
And postings from China
Gave the poor whina
A chance to show us she's seedy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
From a legally-got cash cow.
But her claims of libel
And lawsuits not viable,
Have gotten her into a big row.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Readers bait her like bears in a sport.
If her lawyers don't go
Into court in a row,
She'll be forced to abandon the fort.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is still fronting the horrible worm,
Against their advice
She walked on thin ice;
Her posts are now making them squirm.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Posting into the public domain,
And then crying out
When she's beaten about
And calling her lawyers again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When she contacted cops in the States.
She failed to remember
They're free to dismember
In print anything publicly states.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The same in relative misery.
But lawyers should know
'Ere to court they do go:
They are similar regarding hypocracy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In a style which she cannot recant,
We're delighted to say
She will soon have her day
When complainer becomes defendant.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The miles of files we've got,
Showing each little libel
From her own little bible,
That to our lawyers were brought.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Jobs, posts, all is ruined.
There's no one to blame
But her own stupid name:
Bye-bye Queen, we now may assume.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Although she had gotten quite nasity.
She was finally sunk
By repeating old bunk.
That and her own dumb tenacity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And recovered from flu and the blues.
I thought that your bike
Had got lost in the dike,
And you'd hunted around for some clues.
--- PeterW
Which is yours and is lost in a dike
Is they all look the same,
Except maybe the frame.
(But you're lucky if yours is a trike.)
--- PeterW
In a dike you've begun to explore.
It's two bicycles stuck
And they're having a fuck
And they're breeding one-wheelers for sure.
--- PeterW
If you try, you just wobble and slide.
When you get in a spin,
('Cause their saddles are thin)
You get screwed (maybe buggered) inside.
--- PeterW
That your bike in the dike was not drowned.
But keep off those bikes
Which have saddle like spikes,
If you value your ass and your mound.
--- PeterW
So many replies, I just might
Do an all in one
With maybe a pun,
My mind it is feeling so tight!
--- Archie
It begs a reply, I just can't.
Tutta's riddles now bore;
My brain is so sore;
Some brandy I think I'll decant!
--- Archie
Being rude about my loved bagpipes!
If I could, I would flame,
But I'd get back the same.
He'll dress, not in tartan, but stripes!
--- Archie
They're running around hand in glove.
She's a bit of a flirt
(Her lims contain dirt);
Bruce watches and coos like a dove.
--- Archie
Her home's now in terrible shape.
She's on about Trolls.
How terribly droll.
I think she is hoping for rape!
--- Archie
But are they the edible tasties,
Or small modesty patches
(Of course they both matches)
On mammary endings stuck-fasties!
--- Archie
But his homework's beginning to pile!
So back to the books
After a short look
Or lechers will spew some more bile!
--- Archie
Nothing to say? I don't buy it!
Her S.O. did offer
To quite often boff 'er.
Yes, all of us should sometimes try it!
--- Archie
(I'll bet her birthstone is a beryl!)
Not that I'll insist
(Unless I'm quite pissed)
I'd hate it if "Cheryl went feral!"
--- Archie
Is keeping him so very juicy.
But "Luce" take some care,
While you've been elsewhere,
He often behaved very loosey!
--- Archie
ionate man, his mate's dropped the lash!
She's taken her panties
(The red little scanties)
And Ericka's now working for cash!
--- Archie
He subsists now just on egg-nog.
But he I'll not harass
Although lost in Paris.
(In Italy he'd just be a wog!)
--- Archie
To space he has taken his trunk.
He's trying to get
An alien pet,
To mate with his common pet skunk!
--- Archie
I hope that our passion's not past.
It surely was fun,
Hey, when upchucks are done,
Maybe soon, on a boat - with a mast!
--- Archie
I no longer feel quite so foul.
So into the brandy,
I keep it quite handy.
I'll grab the guitar and I'll howl!
--- Archie
No wonder I'm feeling forlorn
For this is the day
(Last night I did say)
Today I will mow the damn lawn!
--- Archie
Who could churn them right out with no sweat.
But when Al came on line,
With his poems most divine,
They knew not the Master they'd met!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I send you the greeting of mirth,
To brighten you day,
With hope that you may
Stop loathing the day of your birth.
--- Travis
It robs you of time to be glad.
Besides, there are two
Who've loathed over you
Through life: you own mama and dad.
--- Travis Brasell
And written a bit of good cheer.
Good to see you're about
Instead of down and out;
If I had cash I'd buy you a beer.
--- Frank
My neighbor's new wife, Lila Sue.
He found out and shot
His old shotgun a lot,
But he missed me and I missed hell -- whew!
--- Travis Brasell
Consumed all my capital gains,
Except for a meagre
Few bucks that I'm eager
To spend just to drown all my pains.
--- Travis Brasell
Is admirable as a wordsmith.
I give him high praise
At turning a phrase,
And his bark seems worse that his pith.
--- Sumaq TP9804
For no malice was ever intended.
You know, Cap'n Bean,
That I will be obscene,
And perverse just as you recommended.
--- Bob Birch
That he sure wasn't raised in a church,
For to locate a dude
Who is equally crude,
Would require a laborious search.
--- Cap'n Bean
To a poetry site down in Texas,
Where a furniture fixer
Serves us an elixir
Of rhymes she receives from both sexes.
--- Gerry Busch
Which comes to me as no surprise.
I've missed you and now,
If I've not forgot how,
I'll post and not just feast my eyes...
--- Anon
Saying no more than two bring delight.
Try William MacGonigle
The master of doggerel.
He'll certainly give you a fright.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Through the English language he'll dash;
His comical rhyme,
Makes me smile all the time.
Go on, give him a bash.
--- Tiddy Ogg
You come out with rhymings so sweet.
You make an old man so happy
That he feels really sappy,
To read your great lims is a treat.
--- Tiddy Ogg
My thirst you would now be slakin'.
But my honey bee
Just stings it to me,
And leaves me all quiver and quakin'.
--- Arden
Involving sweet you in some vice.
I apologise
And just for your eyes,
I'll sit down and write it out twice.
--- Archie
I come to this page and see rhyme.
The men are so good;
I wish that they could
Make cyber be real, it's sublime!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And I'll say so in song and in story.
But she lives in PA
So I'll merely convey
What I mean in a bold allegory.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So clean and gentlemanly.
This sudden change
I know feels quite strange.
But guess who's proud of you!? Me!
--- Anon
Or polluted by Libyans in jillabees,
Or have beer taste vanilla-y
Than be placed in a pillory
In a limerick of Robin Kay Willoughby's.
--- Don Laycock P8605
From the poet in England, Tim Main.
As you cross over this border,
Your rhymes, you must order,
And I'll not have a reason to flame.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So much wry in so tiny a rhyme!
Of its sex, I would speak
But my voice is so weak...
I would much rather do it in mime.
--- Michael Polo P8907
To lurk and see who's here, you sneak.
Your posts are so few,
You know we miss you;
Some whore must have made you real weak.
--- Anon
Even I, God forbid, make a blooper.
This escapes past the most
Of the morons here post;
But not you my most honorable "trooper."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
No matter how careful I am.
If ever we met,
I'd make sure they get
A no-return gift of pressed ham!
With anyone being a Jew.
Unsolicted ads
Come from sorry-assed cads;
I'm anti-spamitic too!
--- MrMalo
Will turn on our sex machine.
We hear you use sheep
Even when you're asleep.
Go thou, spam elsewhere from this scene.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With invisible Spam we've been pelted.
Please take your blank page
And go back in your cage,
Unless you want your ass black-belted.
--- Cheryl
Take a spammer along 'stead of cruising.
(Find a burly truck driver
And slip him a fiver
To help give the pig snot a bruising.)
--- John Miller 0274a
It wont, and I think no one can.
So don't cut and paste,
Just go off and waste
Your life bugging some other man!
--- Archie
As improvised temporary drums.
You can beat on their heads
Until they are dead,
But I like a rhythm that thrums!!
--- Archie
And shows that he's not even slick,
It's a scam, it's a spam,
And we don't give a damn,
'Cause his brain is the size of a tick.
--- Kathi Webster
I can't say the same 'bout that meat!
Let's serve it to SPAMers,
And then use our hammers
On their heads. Hey! Stay with the beat!