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Next time an account in Dow-jee-shi,
After that a nickname in Brindisi,
And postings from China
Gave the poor whina
A chance to show us she's seedy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She pays for her access now
From a legally-got cash cow.
But her claims of libel
And lawsuits not viable,
Have gotten her into a big row.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She has not yet won in the court;
Readers bait her like bears in a sport.
If her lawyers don't go
Into court in a row,
She'll be forced to abandon the fort.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Though that little libel law firm
Is still fronting the horrible worm,
Against their advice
She walked on thin ice;
Her posts are now making them squirm.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

For a hypocrit cannot remain
Posting into the public domain,
And then crying out
When she's beaten about
And calling her lawyers again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She really made horrible mistakes
When she contacted cops in the States.
She failed to remember
They're free to dismember
In print anything publicly states.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Countries' laws aren't, you see
The same in relative misery.
But lawyers should know
'Ere to court they do go:
They are similar regarding hypocracy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Posting rant after rant after rant,
In a style which she cannot recant,
We're delighted to say
She will soon have her day
When complainer becomes defendant.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

And her lawyers really know not
The miles of files we've got,
Showing each little libel
From her own little bible,
That to our lawyers were brought.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

As with everything else, she is doomed.
Jobs, posts, all is ruined.
There's no one to blame
But her own stupid name:
Bye-bye Queen, we now may assume.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

She wasn't done in by verbacity,
Although she had gotten quite nasity.
She was finally sunk
By repeating old bunk.
That and her own dumb tenacity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm glad you are back in the news,
And recovered from flu and the blues.
I thought that your bike
Had got lost in the dike,
And you'd hunted around for some clues.
--- PeterW

The problem with finding a bike
Which is yours and is lost in a dike
Is they all look the same,
Except maybe the frame.
(But you're lucky if yours is a trike.)
--- PeterW

But what if the wheels number four
In a dike you've begun to explore.
It's two bicycles stuck
And they're having a fuck
And they're breeding one-wheelers for sure.
--- PeterW

One-wheelers are buggers to ride;
If you try, you just wobble and slide.
When you get in a spin,
('Cause their saddles are thin)
You get screwed (maybe buggered) inside.
--- PeterW

So Tjarda, I hope that you found
That your bike in the dike was not drowned.
But keep off those bikes
Which have saddle like spikes,
If you value your ass and your mound.
--- PeterW

I've read through this news group tonight;
So many replies, I just might
Do an all in one
With maybe a pun,
My mind it is feeling so tight!
--- Archie

There's John and his critical rant;
It begs a reply, I just can't.
Tutta's riddles now bore;
My brain is so sore;
Some brandy I think I'll decant!
--- Archie

There's Peter and his anti-Scot snipes,
Being rude about my loved bagpipes!
If I could, I would flame,
But I'd get back the same.
He'll dress, not in tartan, but stripes!
--- Archie

Kiss Karen and Bruce are in love;
They're running around hand in glove.
She's a bit of a flirt
(Her lims contain dirt);
Bruce watches and coos like a dove.
--- Archie

Marlene's given up on Duct Tape;
Her home's now in terrible shape.
She's on about Trolls.
How terribly droll.
I think she is hoping for rape!
--- Archie

And Tiddy is supplying our pasties!
But are they the edible tasties,
Or small modesty patches
(Of course they both matches)
On mammary endings stuck-fasties!
--- Archie

Nik's back with us, for a short while,
But his homework's beginning to pile!
So back to the books
After a short look
Or lechers will spew some more bile!
--- Archie

Our Ardens is becoming quite quiet.
Nothing to say? I don't buy it!
Her S.O. did offer
To quite often boff 'er.
Yes, all of us should sometimes try it!
--- Archie

A pleasant return has been Cheryl
(I'll bet her birthstone is a beryl!)
Not that I'll insist
(Unless I'm quite pissed)
I'd hate it if "Cheryl went feral!"
--- Archie

And Peter's old friend named Lucy
Is keeping him so very juicy.
But "Luce" take some care,
While you've been elsewhere,
He often behaved very loosey!
--- Archie

And speaking of that madly pass-
ionate man, his mate's dropped the lash!
She's taken her panties
(The red little scanties)
And Ericka's now working for cash!
--- Archie

Bob-Bob has turned into a Frog;
He subsists now just on egg-nog.
But he I'll not harass
Although lost in Paris.
(In Italy he'd just be a wog!)
--- Archie

Adventurous H's done a bunk;
To space he has taken his trunk.
He's trying to get
An alien pet,
To mate with his common pet skunk!
--- Archie

Sweet Jayne I have left till the last.
I hope that our passion's not past.
It surely was fun,
Hey, when upchucks are done,
Maybe soon, on a boat - with a mast!
--- Archie

I've got rid of that lot and now,
I no longer feel quite so foul.
So into the brandy,
I keep it quite handy.
I'll grab the guitar and I'll howl!
--- Archie

Just look at that sky--it is dawn.
No wonder I'm feeling forlorn
For this is the day
(Last night I did say)
Today I will mow the damn lawn!
--- Archie

There were limerists galore on the net,
Who could churn them right out with no sweat.
But when Al came on line,
With his poems most divine,
They knew not the Master they'd met!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This is file qel

Wherever you are on this Earth,
I send you the greeting of mirth,
To brighten you day,
With hope that you may
Stop loathing the day of your birth.
--- Travis

Such loathing's a waste and is bad;
It robs you of time to be glad.
Besides, there are two
Who've loathed over you
Through life: you own mama and dad.
--- Travis Brasell

Well look who has stumbled in here,
And written a bit of good cheer.
Good to see you're about
Instead of down and out;
If I had cash I'd buy you a beer.
--- Frank

I gained a new bride, it is true;
My neighbor's new wife, Lila Sue.
He found out and shot
His old shotgun a lot,
But he missed me and I missed hell -- whew!
--- Travis Brasell

Adventures on boats, trains and planes
Consumed all my capital gains,
Except for a meagre
Few bucks that I'm eager
To spend just to drown all my pains.
--- Travis Brasell

Beelzebub, say I forthwith,
Is admirable as a wordsmith.
I give him high praise
At turning a phrase,
And his bark seems worse that his pith.
--- Sumaq TP9804

I was glad that you were not offended,
For no malice was ever intended.
You know, Cap'n Bean,
That I will be obscene,
And perverse just as you recommended.
--- Bob Birch

I can tell by the writings of Birch
That he sure wasn't raised in a church,
For to locate a dude
Who is equally crude,
Would require a laborious search.
--- Cap'n Bean

The Internet server connects us
To a poetry site down in Texas,
Where a furniture fixer
Serves us an elixir
Of rhymes she receives from both sexes.
--- Gerry Busch

And the rest of you still cracking wise
Which comes to me as no surprise.
I've missed you and now,
If I've not forgot how,
I'll post and not just feast my eyes...
--- Anon

Marlene, of poets you write.
Saying no more than two bring delight.
Try William MacGonigle
The master of doggerel.
He'll certainly give you a fright.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And then there is old Ogden Nash.
Through the English language he'll dash;
His comical rhyme,
Makes me smile all the time.
Go on, give him a bash.
--- Tiddy Ogg

But none, with your verse can compete.
You come out with rhymings so sweet.
You make an old man so happy
That he feels really sappy,
To read your great lims is a treat.
--- Tiddy Ogg

If I weren't already taken,
My thirst you would now be slakin'.
But my honey bee
Just stings it to me,
And leaves me all quiver and quakin'.
--- Arden

I'm sorry, I wasn't real nice,
Involving sweet you in some vice.
I apologise
And just for your eyes,
I'll sit down and write it out twice.
--- Archie

My passion is growing each time
I come to this page and see rhyme.
The men are so good;
I wish that they could
Make cyber be real, it's sublime!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I salute my sweet darling, named Lori,
And I'll say so in song and in story.
But she lives in PA
So I'll merely convey
What I mean in a bold allegory.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

How nice that you're trying to be
So clean and gentlemanly.
This sudden change
I know feels quite strange.
But guess who's proud of you!? Me!
--- Anon

I'd rather be set on by killer-bees,
Or polluted by Libyans in jillabees,
Or have beer taste vanilla-y
Than be placed in a pillory
In a limerick of Robin Kay Willoughby's.
--- Don Laycock P8605

So welcome aboard, Mister Chaine,
From the poet in England, Tim Main.
As you cross over this border,
Your rhymes, you must order,
And I'll not have a reason to flame.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Dear Ann Gasser, Your writing's sublime.
So much wry in so tiny a rhyme!
Of its sex, I would speak
But my voice is so weak...
I would much rather do it in mime.
--- Michael Polo P8907

You don't mind taking a peek,
To lurk and see who's here, you sneak.
Your posts are so few,
You know we miss you;
Some whore must have made you real weak.
--- Anon

I admit, that sometimes, in a stupor,
Even I, God forbid, make a blooper.
This escapes past the most
Of the morons here post;
But not you my most honorable "trooper."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some fuckers are sending me spam
No matter how careful I am.
If ever we met,
I'd make sure they get
A no-return gift of pressed ham!

I don't know what it has to do
With anyone being a Jew.
Unsolicted ads
Come from sorry-assed cads;
I'm anti-spamitic too!
--- MrMalo

We doubt that Armenian cuisine
Will turn on our sex machine.
We hear you use sheep
Even when you're asleep.
Go thou, spam elsewhere from this scene.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It looks like your igloo done melted;
With invisible Spam we've been pelted.
Please take your blank page
And go back in your cage,
Unless you want your ass black-belted.
--- Cheryl

The next time you go out a-boozing,
Take a spammer along 'stead of cruising.
(Find a burly truck driver
And slip him a fiver
To help give the pig snot a bruising.)
--- John Miller 0274a

I have tried to make this rhyme scan;
It wont, and I think no one can.
So don't cut and paste,
Just go off and waste
Your life bugging some other man!
--- Archie

Or shall we now use spammers bums
As improvised temporary drums.
You can beat on their heads
Until they are dead,
But I like a rhythm that thrums!!

Archie
--- Archie

When a guy says the money is quick,
And shows that he's not even slick,
It's a scam, it's a spam,
And we don't give a damn,
'Cause his brain is the size of a tick.
--- Kathi Webster

While your ears are tender and sweet,
I can't say the same 'bout that meat!
Let's serve it to SPAMers,
And then use our hammers
On their heads. Hey! Stay with the beat!

Marty
--- Marty

On the web, the babes always look at you,
Nympho teens, triple-Ds or what have you:
Notwithstanding your lust,
If you don't want to trust
Unknown sites, buy directly from Yahoo!
--- Anon


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