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My god; she's escaped! On the run! I'm Sister Christina, the nun, The Convent of Wet's now pristina; Oh, Sister Christina, the doubt Oh, hell! how I rue to remember Well Mister, I will tell you this: The nuns, for the first time in years, To hell I am sure that I'm cursed, There once was a bloke that was after Christina spends many Septembers I've studied the rhyming of Ericka We nuns at Our Lady of 'Wet "Please don't speak ill of the sainted, Sis Chris really should eschew sin, They warned me her glands were like Jaws; In her church, The Holy Sepulchre, Come Liz, feel this frog in my pocket; When Sister Christina goes "Crunch!" She sings in the fog on the swamp, Christina, I've missed you so much! This gives rise to a vexation, I'd drather drink three day old piss, The girls of St. Ag are okay Gor blimey; what 'orrible shockers. And there's Sister Christina the nun I know that you have in your midst, Sis Chris, sadly never quite sated, Sis Chris, she is like a fine wine; Sis Chris has the wherefore and why Way down in the convent of fun, Well, isn't it sad about Clary The sight of a knob-end that's flashin' If you want some nuns to bewitch; It seems the approach of mid-summer I once took Sis Chris on a date Iranians follow Imans With Sister Christina I'm smitten; Sis Chris, seems that you're not so shrewd; A lesson for those who are wary Ahh bless you, my son, you're confused. It's nearly the month of December; To Sis Chris I'll dedicate my first sonnet, I know a nice little trick; Perth's winter is sunny and dry, That Ericka gal is a bore; I hope that you'll not find this odd, Though the priests in Christina's last cloister I shrank from that vast tooth-filled crack, As the flow of her menses demanded, While Sister Christina is hiding, Last night Sis Christina undressed, A visit from you is just bliss; Run! Hide!, you guys only postpone; I remember Christina before Oh Sister Christina have mercy! I'm Sister Christina. I cry "Isabetta, you insolent pimple, That Sister Christina's here soon; Well, shiver me timbers, eh what? With tits flopping wildly about An unwary nun named Christine Sis Chris, is a bluddy disgrace; The spectre of Sister Christina Recalling Christina Dentata Christina has still got the yen She did a real number on me... It's real nice that some person cares;
Sister Christina the nun.
If she catches you guys,
You'll have tears in your eyes,
As she squeezes your bollocks for fun.
--- Anon
And I need some sexual fun.
Which of you lackeys
Will be my snackies?
You can't hide so don't try to run!
--- Anon
It looks like the Chapel Cistena.
The walls have been washed,
Where so many were squashed,
By the were-nun named Sister Christina.
--- Archie
You've cast on my lie is about
The worst .. so uncouth!
If you want the truth,
Come turn me, m'dear, inside out.
--- Anon
That bad prehistoric September,
When we ran to miss
The club of Sis Chris,
But she was too fast with her timber!
--- Anon
No man has yet humbled Sis Chris.
You'll hear her teeth gnash
When nearing her gash,
Before feeling her deadliest kiss.
--- SFA
Charged dildos in bulk down at Sears;
They've failed to make payment,
So under their raiment
Those dildos are now in 'arrears!'
--- Travis Brasell
For the sin of my sexual thirst.
In a nun's attire,
I'm doomed to hell's fire,
But sweeties, I bet you're there first!
--- Anon
That sister so luscious, but dafter
Than a bag full of doorknobs,
Since she gathers galore knobs
And all of them hung from a rafter.
--- Archie
At her convent, and stays for December's
Appointment of Friars,
Since with lots of new hires,
She'll be downsizing many new members.
--- Hugh Clary
And noted her scansions are very Ca-
Nuck in their style,
And lacking the guile
Of Sis Chris, who IS esoterica.
--- SFA
Are virginal, please don't forget!
Hope you don't pull your groin
When you come to join
"Exercise with Sis Chris" dot net.
--- Anon
Their pious traits cannot be tainted.",
Said Sister Christina,
Stirring the farina,
And farting so loud that I fainted.
--- Anon
But one of the places I'd been
Was a convent in Zaire
Where I heard her pray-er,
"Father in! Father in! Father in!"
--- Anon
Knew something was fishy, because
We started to snog,
Then I noticed her dog
Was running around without paws.
--- Cubmeister
Sis Chris discovered a skulker;
Not scared in the least
Of this nude hairy beast,
But hoping he might want to fulchre.
--- David Miller
I'm sure it will fit in your socket.
That's if I can miss
The kiss of Sis Chris,
For that lady surely will dock it.
--- Anon
She's merely partaking of brunch.
It's when she starts gnashin'
Her molars with passion,
You fear for your bollocks and trunch...
--- Anon
"Now come to me, Cajuns, let's romp!"
Then oh-me-oh-my-oh
Far back in the bayou,
Sis Chris, that old 'gator, goes "chomp."
--- Travis Brasell
Your hair, and your smell, and your touch;
And I've heard a rumour
Doc's removed a tumor,
Caused by crucifix up in your NUTCH.
--- Anon
A 'which sinner's who,' consternation.
I'd think that a mound
Of that dubious pound
Would lead to Sis Chris'a salivation.
--- Anon
Or give a hyena a kiss,
Or sniff at some mace
Before I would face,
The thought of a hormonal Chris.
--- Archie
For occasional rolls in the hay.
But it's a sure bet
That Perpetual Wet
Nuns verily know how to prey.
--- H Welchel
I must take me beta-thing blockers.
Me 'eart's gone skew-whiff
As would anyone's if
They'd seen Sister Christina's 'uge knockers.
--- Anon
Of Perpetual Wetness; the one
Who just can't get enough
Of muff diving and stuff,
And employs Irish Wolfhounds for fun.
--- Anon
A sister, though she's often pissed.
So hark to Christina,
Your sins she will clean a-
Way, for the Pope's ring she's kissed.
--- Maude
Feared her rack was not equally weighted.
She looked inside her dress,
And remarked with distress,
"Oh dammit, my left tit 's deflated."
--- Anon
The fruit of the vine on the Rhine.
She's oft made by monks,
Take her out -- get her drunk,
And she leaves a sore "head" every time.
--- Tiddy Ogg
When chewing poor percy goodbye;
Canadian beef
Is tainted. In brief,
She's crazy though this she'll deny.
--- Randog
The abbess was priming my gun,
But gave it a kiss,
And sent for Sis Chris,
Because I'm the Master of Nun.
--- Anon
Whose versifications would vary.
But ever since Sister
Chris changed him from 'Mister',
To 'Miss' with her fangs, Hugh writes nary.
--- Anon
Is Sister Christina's great passion.
She blows on a whistle,
Takes aim like a missle,
And charges with molars a gnashin'.
--- Peter Wilkins
To scratch that insatiable itch,
With animal lust
And a generous bust,
You need a Perpetual bitch.
--- H Welchel
This is file qbl
Makes writers of limericks dumber.
And the evil Sis Chris
Reverts to plain Miss,
While looking to find a new plumber.
--- Anon
And my tool met that same awful fate.
And the only high note?
Sis Chris can't deep throat --
Which means inchwise, I'm left with just eight.
--- Randog
And never caress their own glans.
The hands that do that,
Sis Chrissy won't pat,
For they're always some other man's.
--- Archie
So always on her I am hittin'.
But if you are chaste,
There's no time to waste;
My lap is right here for the sittin'.
--- SFA
There's one who's managed to elude,
Your cunt full of claws,
And your vise-like jaws;
Peter's three meters you've not chewed.
--- Anon
About Sister Chris' contrary
Comportment in beds:
It's not tails, but heads.
Don't believe it? Just ask Hugh Clary.
--- Anon
It ain't this wild Nun who gets used.
Step up on my altar,
Uncover yer Psalter,
Prepare to be obscenely abused.
--- Anon
The fire is now down to an ember.
Sis Chris is now looking
For wild rampant fooking,
With someone whom she can dismember!
--- Anon
'Bout her rosy-red cheeks and blue bonnet;
Her aged eyes twinkle;
She's got just one wrinkle,
And it seems she's still sitting upon it.
--- David Miller
We'll cut off what's left of your prick.
When dear Sister Chris
Gives it a kiss,
And right down your throat it will stick.
--- Anon
And here our Sis Chrissy may try
To play with me more;
Again leave me sore.
So from here I quickly will fly.
--- Archie
So stick with me, Honey, I'm more
Of a girl with a hole-
Y missionary role,
To make sure you limerick guys score.
--- Sister Christina
But Sister Christina will prod
My dick while she kneels
And feels and then squeals
This worshipful prayer: "Oh, my god!"
--- Travis Brasell
Admitted her muff was much moister
Than most that they dated,
Everyone of them hated
That his pearls were purloined by her oyster.
--- Hugh Clary
And leapt on a big camel's back,
And drove that poor beast
Through the whole middle-east;
Didn't stop till we got to Iraq.
--- Anon
Sis Chris to her room was remanded.
But her character, sainted,
Was found to be tainted,
When the Prioress caught her red-handed.
--- Hugh Clary
My time I am fruitfully biding,
Perfecting my knack,
So when she comes back,
Her Ass into hell I'll be riding.
--- Anon
And was observed by a farmer (the pest)
She took off her top,
(she just couldn't stop)
And his donkey ran off quite distressed.
--- David Miller
So, what could be nicer than this?
Well, Lass, I'll speak true;
I really do rue
The absence of our favorite Sis.
--- Anon
Sis Chris will come back in the zone.
If she gives me a shout
I'll be there to help out,
To delight in these dickies debone.
--- Anon
She learned how to make a man sore.
And she frankly admitted,
When properly fitted,
A knob was a thing to adore.
--- Anon
Please give my dear bollocks to nursey;
She'll sew them back on
Me and when she has gone,
You can do what you like with my percy.
--- Anon
When I read every word of this lie.
I'm gentle and pure
And quite insecure
And holy and humble and shy...
--- Anon
You've been caught, so your guilt is most simple.
And you'll get a sound beating
If you keep up this bleating
Concerning the state of my wimple."
--- Anon
Don't just stand there, Jeeves, fetch the harpoon.
What, you've lost it? You blithering
Fool; stop your dithering;
Catch me I'm going to swoooooo ....
--- Anon
It's that Sister Christina's foul twat.
I can tell 'cause the fish
Have jumped out of this dish,
And are swimmin' away from my yacht.
--- Anon
And a face like an ugly old trout,
An insatiable lust 'n'
A cunt quite disgustin',
It's Sister Christina; she's out!
--- Anon
Walked into the Chapel Sistine
And there had a shenanigan
With His Eminence, Brannigan;
Now Christine is no longer pristine.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0996
She's had every dong in this place.
I'll take my delight
In grabbing a bite,
If ever she sits on my face.
--- Anon
And what she could do to my wiena
Has shrivelled it up.
If she were to sup
On my nub, she'd starve and be leana.
--- RanDog
(I shouldn't make fun, but I gotta);
Her speech was laconic,
Her smile was sardonic,
And was cursed with a sort of stigmata:
--- Anon
For ripping the bollocks off men.
I went for a hump
And now have a stump
Where once there was inches of ten.
--- SFA
I came with 3 inches, times three.
But one fateful night
She took such a bite,
That now I am squatting to pee.
--- Anon
I know that Sis Chris has some spares;
These teeth are at home,
Wrapped up in some foam.
(But why are they full of short hairs?)
--- David Miller
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