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I'm experiencing writer's block! There once was an Arpanet freak, I hopped on that button like a bunny, (TP - Toast Point Web Page has view ads button)
A gold mine is the new Info Path; E-commerce to us and our peers, You can moan to your heart's desire, Some guy (Can't remember; Who was he?) I sit in a computer lab It seems everyone's server sucks, The Postmaster decries our E-mails, A third grader who lives in Bucyrus The Thirty Year's War was a long time ago. My limerick web site is back. There once was a girl named Nancy, A crook who used HTTP "Ladies" today can be found Well maybe I'm not a smart cookie, Back here writing Lims is our Eva; I guess that it's not hard to tell The quiet AJL garden But in there this Arch was uncouth; The name of the Ed., 'Arthur Deex' (about the editor of Pentatette, limerick newsletter)
There once was a fellow named Deex, (Arthur Deex editor of Pentatette, limerick newsletter)
I'm grateful for the welcomes here. She brought along Jon and who else? Sister Chris is still chewing on dicks, Hideout was browsin' the news, Perhaps just a party of five... So as we allude to our Goal Humbly I try just to compete A.J.L., that sounds a fun group. Doctor Limerick is all in a snit, Doctor Limerick's a mate of Perot, (Doctor Limerick is Arthur Deex, classmate of Ross Perot)
I've read through the hundreds of postings Hey guys, it's me, bulbie, I'm back! I bring greetings to all of you here; All here are quite eager to show I just dropped in on a whim, My question "What makes Irv superior?" You find what you read here too crass? I said that I've seen -- not been with. My dear, it's not jokes that you read There's something that seems mighty strange; An emptiness wells up inside, Have Peter and Matthew both fled; And what of sweet Jeanie and Kitten; I've been busy as a whirling dervish, I like to drop by here and view It isn't as all of you fear; But Marty, I fear, has been busy; I've noticed their absence, as well, My muse is asleep on the couch. You're right Lou, there's very slim picken's. Genetically modified grain I feel I've made a great stride As a pen-name, Nooky is grand, Now Malo I thought was top dog, Say, MrMalo, are you well? MrMalo, please, are you OK? The hottest spot in cyberspace, Limericks just spill from my brain. It's here that I feel I belong; Today I discovered this group I'd love to screw Charlotte so sweet; While Og and Stan sang Charlotte's praises, At first Og ignored this guy Stan, This flame war of Ogden and Stan
I seem to have run out of stock!
I waste too much time
Searching for the right rhyme,
I think I'll just play with my cock.
--- Puff Adder
Who better response-time did seek.
He searched coast to coast,
For a reliable host,
Whose log-in took less than a week.
--- Anon
Not only to make TP money,
But to post and see
Our limericks for free:
The good and the bad and the funny!
--- Friar
Head Start and the rich each get half.
The rest of the poor
Can't get in the door,
And the old middle class gets the shaft.
--- James M Menger P9404
Is as mail-order to the pioneers.
R.I.P. Monkey Wards,
Closing its doors
After one hundred twenty-eight years.
--- Election 2000
And scream if your passion goes higher;
But for goodness sake
I must take a break,
I think that my keyboard's on fire.
--- Anon
Was arrested for logic too fuzzy.
He'd encountered a short
In an ethernet port
He had tried to connect to a SCSI.
--- Cyber Geezer
Reading megabytes of gab.
How long must I sit,
I'm trying to quit
Before I go stark raving mad.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Although we all pay them big bucks.
'Cause they set the rules,
They treat us like fools;
I guess we're a crowd of dumb schmucks.
--- Archie
And electronic greeting assails.
But we know for sure,
His words will not cure
Why US Mail is likened to snails.
--- Daniel Ford
Has unleashed a computerized virus
That endangers us all,
In large countries and small,
Excepting those still using papyrus.
--- Maynard Kaplan Lib Lim
It was difficult then to tell ally from foe.
It just brings to mind,
We must always be kind,
If we want our fine network to grow.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'm sure that you mourned it's lack
Of up-dated stuff.
(Like folks in the buff)
I'm trying to get back on track.
--- Anon
Whose BBS I liked to fancy.
Her Pix were all GIF
That made me quite stiff,
'Cause her Echo was written in ANSI.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was arrested, just ASAP
Via HTML
He had read: "See this cell?"
W-Y-S-I-W-Y-G.
--- Cyber Geezer
In bar rooms just hanging around;
There are plenty to meet,
Even out on the street;
In this newsgroup, of course, they abound.
--- Anon
But who, what, or where is this tookie?
Perhaps Arch has filed 'em,
But in this asylum,
We're mostly concerned about nookie.
--- Q
Her skills make her our greatest Diva.
But after her prose
And the talk of a rose,
I'm really just after her beava!
--- Anon
Why you're here and not in A A L:
In there stuff is clean,
Whereas here it's obscene
And "clean" is today a hard sell.
--- Anon
Invaded by Arch with no pardon,
Was home to the girls
Who had discreet whirls,
With men that they knew they could harden.
--- Archie
Instead of just one he'd take two'th.
And though it's absurd,
Sometimes he's a third
Or a fourth, I only tell truth.
--- Archie
Is the most interesting one seen for weeks.
It intrigues one no little.
One wonders if it'll
Be surpassed if one hunts and one seeks?
--- Anon
Who enjoyed doing limerick critiques.
Here's the lesson of Troy,
My pedantic schoolboy:
"Beware of a gift bearing Greeks!"
--- Bill Edwards P9101
I think that I'll sip me a beer,
And attempt me to write
A poem that might
Cause readers to jeer or to cheer.
--- Adam Kreek Q
The AJL guys and the gals,
And they had orgasms
That left them in spasms
Well into the new year -- what pals!
--- Anon
And Travis with whores gets his kicks.
Carol and Jon are still screwing,
Par is still in here spewing,
And dear Peter is still King of Pricks.
--- Anon
For enlightenment through different views,
When a wrong turn he took
And was caught by the hook.
Now limericks are the language he spews!
--- Hideout
Atop a huge bed we would writhe.
Charl, Toast, Og, and Stan
And Anonymous Man,
But Wumpus would thrash me alive!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Remember "The Sacred Spoo-Pole".
My name is Choad King
'Cause I've got the Thing
That all the Wisewomen extol.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Amongst the old AJL fleet.
Though I ain't too old,
I sure can be bold,
And stand up on my own two feet.
--- Anon
Full of people who hold in their poop.
They're so constipated
And infrequently dated,
Their dicks have a permanent droop.
--- Roger Mann
He insists that our scan be legit.
Geez, he sound more to me,
Like a crusty JD,
Than a courtly old Dr. of Litt.
--- No 2 P9112
And we shudder, but it's really so.
Doctor Limerick, you see,
Ross will pick as VP,
To make his popularity grow.
--- Arthur Deex P9207
This is file pxl
And was turned off by sexual boastings,
I thought out of line.
The humor was fine,
But I got rather turned off by roastings.
--- R D Grob
Been tied down, please cut me some slack.
Forgot how to limmer,
(This bulb's gotten dimmer).
Could someone please repost that FAQ?
--- Lightbulb
I'm a new guy you all should revere.
Take the group on by storm
You will see I'm not norm,
But I promise to bring lots of beer!
--- Anon
How desperately low you can go,
By describing a ewe
Or a whore in dessous:
Just tell us and we'll suck and blow.
--- Danube Q
And instantly started to grin.
The wit here is mighty
And the subjects so flighty,
I can hardly wait to begin.
--- Bob Curtis
Perhaps you may look on as eerier.
Is it he can't ignore
And loves to explore
The depths of a woman's interior?
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
This ain't quite a neat bible class.
If you can't stand the heat,
Make a hasty retreat,
Before our front door hits your ass.
--- Dirruk
Descriptions by H are not myth.
That sweet rapscallion --
Built like a stallion,
With muscles just like a blacksmith!
--- Anon
In here with this limerick breed.
It's mainly seduction
And feminine suction,
That gives us all just what we need.
--- Archie
Is Travis still home on the range.
Have Cyber and Marty
Both found a new party,
Or have they come down with the mange?
--- Observer
For fear that their muses have died.
So should we feel spurned
Or even concerned,
Or should we just let it all slide?
--- Observer
Their muses, perhaps too, are dead?
And how 'bout Goin2;
Is she down with the flu?
Are presumptions just filling my head?
--- Observer
Are they both no longer lim-smitten?
'Twould be a great sin
If they don't check in;
To hear from all these, would be fittin'.
--- Observer
What with two growing kids I must nourish.
I've got chores galore,
Though I'd like to lim more,
So I'll write one right now with a flourish.
--- Jeanie
The rhymes of the A.J.L. crew.
Responding I find,
One hell of a grind,
For lims that are basically poo.
--- Goin2
I'm just back from getting some rear.
I have time to play
In our limerick way,
So I think I'll just slide one in here.
--- Cyber Wizard
Her job's keeping her in a tizzy.
When through, though, real soon,
She'll cause us to swoon,
As long as Par's not back. Is he?
--- Cyber Wizard
And it bothers me half way to hell.
But I don't feel spurned,
Nor get my bridges burned.
Where are they. I guess time will tell.
--- Liam na Beag
I've been there with sprained ankle. Ach! Ouch!
For the past month I've rolled
Quilling paper - not fold.
While I'm there, I don't sleep and don't slouch.
--- Hilde na Beag
There ain't no one here but us chickens.
And GMO grain (genetically modified organism)
Is bad for the brain,
So the rest of the beasts need some kickin's.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is said to cause harm to the brain.
And I suppose it's smart
If I do my part,
So therefore I think I'll abstain.
--- Observer
To've been shown the light from inside
The Alphabet jungle.
I'll take care not to bungle
And get me all bloated with pride.
--- Liam na Beag
But the one that makes my pecker stand
Is Monique De Plume
From the "squeaky-clean room".
(I typed this with only one hand!)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Though maybe it's more he's a frog
Who's able to muddle
About in a puddle,
The best of his breed in this bog.
--- John Miller
I've not seen your verse for a spell.
Already our turf's
Being fouled by the surf-
iet of Spammers you're not giving Hell.
--- John Miller
You've been missing many a day.
Your pithy wit
Helps cut through the shit,
And keeps jerks like this one at bay.
--- John Miller
So hot that it makes the pulse race
At limerick speed;
That's just what I need;
Tell me folks, am I in the right place?
--- Anon
Why? I cannot explain.
I'm joining LIMSIG
'Cause I need folks who dig.
My wife thinks I am insane.
--- John Roberts P9211
Other newsgroups feel oh so wrong.
I hope you accept me
And in time you will see
My witty, my humour, my dong.
--- Anon
Who write things as saucy as soup.
Writing lims by the dozens
About your own cousins,
And exploits defiling poop shoots.
--- Kirk van Koeverden
Her pussy's my fantasy treat.
So when Ogden and Stan
Try to fight man-to-man,
She and I will be warmed by love's heat.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I bought an inflatable gal from Macy's.
Not to much of a spastic,
But them hooters, elastic;
She was punctured and pushes up daisies.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But now he's annoyed with the man.
Stan, write more about me,
You asshole, and see
Og make the shit hit the fan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Will fill up a huge garbage can.
From motives of spite,
Their limericks have bite
And are equally easy to pan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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