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A skinny gal from St. Moritz A gorgeous young girl from the West To her doctor went old Mrs. Keyes, SENESCENCE I humbly embrace; There was a young girl from St Justin, 'Tis shape that matters, not the size; Oh knave, large boobs are appealing! By no stretch are mine 44Ds, I'm feeling quite hot, can't you see? I'll give them a swing, so stand back; There is a poor fellow from Yonkers A coquettish young lady named Pru, What's with that 'least favourite lass', An ugly old maid was Miss Schmidt, Her Granny, when young, let none boss her; 'Neath her bra, lace and well trimmed, A SENESCENT lady named Grace, The "bra-less' treatment for faces Now I offer no guarantees, A transexual lady of Gaul The boobs of a floozie named Flo I knew an old lady named Bitts, There was an old milkmaid named Stubbs "Dont't put on a bra," said Bill Mace, A well-endowed girl in our city, When Lady Lowbodice dances, While dancing with Archbishop Smalls. A lady who jogged in the breeze, Happy birthday you wrinkled old bag; I once knew a young girl named Maggie I know an old hooker named Fagg This girls teats were quite rare; While nude, the old stripper danced about, An exotic fan dancer named Ellen Young Josephine's awful depressed, Today though she's hiding away; I'll tell you of young Betsy Googe, When sweet Betsy's titties I suckles, The big one's a mouthful for sure; When titties are found in two sizes, Cyanistes are blue and great tits, Cried a silly old maid of Devizes: The breasts that we men like to dwell on A young bodybuilder named Rex There was a young lady named Bates A lively young Wave on a tryst A lopsided shopper named Gail This Patty from our music city This girl is just full of surprises, This girl is just full of surprises, A pretty young nudist named Valance Chuckled canny old Mel from St. Helens, My girl friend's astonishing teat, The wife of Attila the Hun A titty that weighs near a ton The doc (GYN and Obstetric) A romantic named Percy Bysshe Shelley While one is a 34-B, To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective, I like just a tad of asymmetry; I know of a woman named Hall There was a young man, Mr Rub-a-dub, Small breasts had made her life hellish. I found one for XXL rooters; A lady from Vanity Fair I have got two very nice tits.
Has a chest covered over with zits.
Scratching and squeezing them
And then she's teasing them,
Just in case they are one of her tits.
--- Tom Patton P0001
Had hair all over her chest.
It wasn't too pretty
But each tiny titty
Looked just like an egg in a nest.
--- Ken Elrod P8303a
And said, "I must have a disease.
I've large lumps 'neath my breasts."
So he gave her some tests,
And he said, "Those are merely your knees."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0207
Unlike dear old friend "bra-less Grace,
Whom you may recall
Aroused a loud squall
By smoothing age lines from her face.
--- Observer
Bought a new bra to uplift her bust in.
But her breasts sagged all day,
And she, sad to say,
Lost her trust in the cups they were trussed in.
--- Barrie Collins P9601A
The pert ones give me the high rise,
Not pairs that hang low;
To them I say no.
Nips should be higher than thighs.
--- R Rezel
Tits knee-length are made right for feeling,
Whenever a girl
Is giving a whirl
When she hangs from my fan on the ceiling.
--- Travis Brasell
But they're floppy and flap when I sneeze.
I'm an old hippy chick,
And bra-less I flick;
I can stir up my own private breeze.
--- Anon
Can you flop them and flap them at me?
Can you flick them and sneeze
And create a breeze?
Cool me down, chick, then happy I'll be.
--- Peter Wilkins
You don't want your eyes to be black.
I'll stir up a wind
And might in the end
Get a storm with a whopping good whack.
--- Karen
Who fears he is sure going bonkers,
Since he started last fall,
For no reason at all,
To grow outsized female bazonkers.
--- Armand E Singer 902
Thought her peekaboo blouse was a coup.
But returned to the shop
To declare it a flop,
For the fellows would peek...And then boo! (And not screw!)
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Just 'cause I'm not nailing your ass?
Those pendulous tits
Still thrill me to bits;
Here, see their effect on my mass?
--- Anon
As homely as two crocks of shit.
But her boyfriend was simple,
For he loved every pimple
And he prized every wart on her tit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0325
When offered a bra, she said, "Toss her!
These beauties'll stand up
Without a C cup."
But nowadays, she need a C saucer.
--- Ericka
For which she should not be condemned,
Was a small tattooed rose
That she showed to her beaux.
Too bad that it is now long stemmed.
--- Les Stewart
Had method to hide aging pace.
Her system was flawless,
She often went bra-less
To smooth the wrinkles in her face!
--- Observer
Retards the science by paces.
Aged boobs pendant
Aren't independent
And could trip when caught in the laces.
--- Observer
But please be fair, if you please.
I don't mean to scold,
But when folks get old,
They seldom hang down past the knees!
--- Observer
Had titties that hung like a shawl.
So to one of the pair
She affixed some false hair,
And claimed that she shaved but one ball.
--- Anon
Need a great deal of lift from below;
For without a brassiere,
In the winter, I fear,
She'd leave quadruple tracks in the snow.
--- Rosie
What had the most ugliest tits;
She snuck in my house
And took off her blouse,
And she scared me right out of my wits!
--- Cap'n Bean P9809
With horribly pendulous dugs.
Her spigots were soiled;
Her milk tasted boiled;
She crawled with all manner of bugs.
--- Armand E Singer 630
As he looked at his wife in the face.
"Just let your tits hang.
I don't give a dang.
They pull wrinkles out of your face!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807 a
Was arrested for showing her titty
To an undercover cop,
Who said, "Lady, please stop;
You're a sight that's just not very pretty."
--- Al Girard
It increases our voyeurist chances.
Said her dear butler Hollis,
"If madame goes braless,
She could tuck them both into her pantses."
--- MrMalo
He said, "Madame, your dancing enthralls,
But step back a bit --
I believe your left tit
Is rebounding off one of my balls."
--- MrMalo
Has bosoms that flapped to her knees.
Said she, "They're quite warm,
Keeps me dry in a storm;
When it snows, I use them for skis.
--- Anon
Of your breasts I can no longer brag.
For I reached for a tit,
But they've dropped quite a bit,
And I hate that those babies now sag.
--- Bob Birch P0508
Whose bosom was terribly saggy.
She borrowed a bra
From her buxom old ma,
And then she appeared merely baggy.
--- Glen Hughes P0201
Whose dugs are beginning to sag,
But rather than pout
She waves them about,
A signal to johns like a flag.
--- Armand E Singer 675
They were covered all over with hair!
Her nipples were long
As a normal man's schlong,
And they whooshed when exposed to the air.
--- Anon
As she checked the old geezer's spout.
Though boobs at him she pointed,
She was sore disappointed,
'Cause it did not take the wrinkles out.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0112
This is file psm
Had one small and one pendulous melon;
The resultant imbalance
Quite negated her talents --
Just how high she'd have flown, there's no tellin'.
--- Armand E Singer 775
Once more by the size of her chest;
When dressing or changing,
Forever arranging
Balloons up the front of her vest.
--- Peter Wilkins
No surprise - it's a "bad balloon day",
With one droopy D
Cup balloon and one wee
One not very much bigger than A.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who lives down in old Baton Rouge.
Her starboardmost titty
Is small, pert, and pretty.
Her port one's enormously huge.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I knead them real good with my knuckles.
And each time I drink,
I tickle her pink,
As well with my gurgles and chuckles.
--- SFA
The small one has dainty allure.
So I give them a suck
Then she gives me a fuck,
And she'll be my amour du jour.
--- SFA
The smaller is full of surprises.
If one takes the bother
Of sucking the other,
They'd see that the other one rises.
--- SFA
But what are these feminine bits?
And blue-footed boobies?
Stop smoking those doobies;
Your taste in birds is the pits.
--- Donald McGill
"Mercy me! My tits are two sizes.
Still, there's no one to see
How they look, except me,
And I'm rather above such surprises."
--- Grand Prix Lim 365 G1541
Range in size from fired-egg to melon.
So a girl who's intent
To reduce or augment,
Could be seen as a cosmetic felon.
--- Alex Heydon P0412
Bought two bras to support his huge pecs;
Wore the 48B
When he let them hang free,
And a black one with D-cups to flex.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Who amused every one of her dates
By keeping one breast
In total arrest,
While the other described figure eights.
--- Isaac Asimov
Lost a falsie while doing the Twist.
Though she struggled to hide it,
Her bust was lopsided,
And gave her a sharp larboard list.
--- Limericks for John P8404
Weighed each of her tits on a scale;
The breast on her left
Had the greatest of heft,
While the right one was light as a snail.
--- Cap'n Bean P0104
Was known as exceptionally pretty.
It wasn't her face
That made us give chase,
'Twas the size of her left-sided titty!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For her breasts are of quite different sizes.
While the one on the left
Completely lacks heft,
The one on the right has won prizes.
--- Norman Storer P0511Q
For her breasts are of quite different sizes.
While the one on the right
Is pitifully slight,
The one on the left has won prizes.
--- Norman Storer P0511Q
Had breast sizes so out of balance,
Her left won a prize
For its firmness and size,
But her right had no similar talents.
--- Alex Heydon P0503
"Tits range from small lumps to big melons,
But there's always a call
For tits, big or small,
From executives, artist, and felons."
--- Grand Prix Lim 846
Is as tough as an old catcher's mitt.
The other was lighter,
And softer and whiter.
I wonder what happened to it?
--- Anon
Had odd titties, the story's been spun:
The one on the left
Had the usual heft,
But the other weighed nearly a ton.
--- Hugh Clary
May not be the best kind of fun.
A flick at the nipple
Could cause quite a ripple;
The bounce will concuss and then stun.
--- Archie
Is conversant with things dialectic.
He surprised the whole nation
With astute observation,
That no tits are completely symmetric.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0506
Said this of Liza Minelli:
While one of her breasts
Is admired by my guests,
The other one looks like Gene Kelly.
--- Bill Wall
The other hangs down to my knee.
Since you say you can't sleep
Without one in your keep,
At least sleep in the same bed with me.
--- Pierce Evans
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has the east teat the least bit
The best of the west teat,
Or is it a trick of perspective?"
--- Langford Reed L0152
It adds to a breast a sublimity.
A little more heft
Right tit or left,
I enjoy with bemused equanimity.
--- Tutta Gioia
With one tit that's huge and one small.
This quite odd disparity
Is truly a rarity --
The only case I can recall.
--- Armand E Singer 192
Who belonged to the Suck, Fuck, & Bugger Club.
But the pride of his life
Were the teats of his wife:
One real, and one India-rubber bub.
--- L0264
Their fullness she sought to embellish.
Once double-A, these
Are now double-D's!!!
Now she serves them to men with great relish.
--- Ogmentation
It's made for the species with hooters.
So why are the ladies
Like limo Mercedes,
But men's are like li'l Mini Cooters?
--- Anon
Had a most astonishing pair.
One listing to port
Was the usual sort,
But the other, to starboard, was square.
--- W F N Watson
They fill out my blouse so it fits.
The one on the left
Is feeling bereft --
The one on the right's lost its wits.
--- Anon
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