A skinny gal from St. Moritz
Has a chest covered over with zits.
Scratching and squeezing them
And then she's teasing them,
Just in case they are one of her tits.
--- Tom Patton P0001

A gorgeous young girl from the West
Had hair all over her chest.
It wasn't too pretty
But each tiny titty
Looked just like an egg in a nest.
--- Ken Elrod P8303a

To her doctor went old Mrs. Keyes,
And said, "I must have a disease.
I've large lumps 'neath my breasts."
So he gave her some tests,
And he said, "Those are merely your knees."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0207

SENESCENCE I humbly embrace;
Unlike dear old friend "bra-less Grace,
Whom you may recall
Aroused a loud squall
By smoothing age lines from her face.
--- Observer

There was a young girl from St Justin,
Bought a new bra to uplift her bust in.
But her breasts sagged all day,
And she, sad to say,
Lost her trust in the cups they were trussed in.
--- Barrie Collins P9601A

'Tis shape that matters, not the size;
The pert ones give me the high rise,
Not pairs that hang low;
To them I say no.
Nips should be higher than thighs.
--- R Rezel

Oh knave, large boobs are appealing!
Tits knee-length are made right for feeling,
Whenever a girl
Is giving a whirl
When she hangs from my fan on the ceiling.
--- Travis Brasell

By no stretch are mine 44Ds,
But they're floppy and flap when I sneeze.
I'm an old hippy chick,
And bra-less I flick;
I can stir up my own private breeze.
--- Anon

I'm feeling quite hot, can't you see?
Can you flop them and flap them at me?
Can you flick them and sneeze
And create a breeze?
Cool me down, chick, then happy I'll be.
--- Peter Wilkins

I'll give them a swing, so stand back;
You don't want your eyes to be black.
I'll stir up a wind
And might in the end
Get a storm with a whopping good whack.
--- Karen

There is a poor fellow from Yonkers
Who fears he is sure going bonkers,
Since he started last fall,
For no reason at all,
To grow outsized female bazonkers.
--- Armand E Singer 902

A coquettish young lady named Pru,
Thought her peekaboo blouse was a coup.
But returned to the shop
To declare it a flop,
For the fellows would peek...And then boo! (And not screw!)
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

What's with that 'least favourite lass',
Just 'cause I'm not nailing your ass?
Those pendulous tits
Still thrill me to bits;
Here, see their effect on my mass?
--- Anon

An ugly old maid was Miss Schmidt,
As homely as two crocks of shit.
But her boyfriend was simple,
For he loved every pimple
And he prized every wart on her tit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0325

Her Granny, when young, let none boss her;
When offered a bra, she said, "Toss her!
These beauties'll stand up
Without a C cup."
But nowadays, she need a C saucer.
--- Ericka

'Neath her bra, lace and well trimmed,
For which she should not be condemned,
Was a small tattooed rose
That she showed to her beaux.
Too bad that it is now long stemmed.
--- Les Stewart

A SENESCENT lady named Grace,
Had method to hide aging pace.
Her system was flawless,
She often went bra-less
To smooth the wrinkles in her face!
--- Observer

The "bra-less' treatment for faces
Retards the science by paces.
Aged boobs pendant
Aren't independent
And could trip when caught in the laces.
--- Observer

Now I offer no guarantees,
But please be fair, if you please.
I don't mean to scold,
But when folks get old,
They seldom hang down past the knees!
--- Observer

A transexual lady of Gaul
Had titties that hung like a shawl.
So to one of the pair
She affixed some false hair,
And claimed that she shaved but one ball.
--- Anon

The boobs of a floozie named Flo
Need a great deal of lift from below;
For without a brassiere,
In the winter, I fear,
She'd leave quadruple tracks in the snow.
--- Rosie

I knew an old lady named Bitts,
What had the most ugliest tits;
She snuck in my house
And took off her blouse,
And she scared me right out of my wits!
--- Cap'n Bean P9809

There was an old milkmaid named Stubbs
With horribly pendulous dugs.
Her spigots were soiled;
Her milk tasted boiled;
She crawled with all manner of bugs.
--- Armand E Singer 630

"Dont't put on a bra," said Bill Mace,
As he looked at his wife in the face.
"Just let your tits hang.
I don't give a dang.
They pull wrinkles out of your face!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807 a

A well-endowed girl in our city,
Was arrested for showing her titty
To an undercover cop,
Who said, "Lady, please stop;
You're a sight that's just not very pretty."
--- Al Girard

When Lady Lowbodice dances,
It increases our voyeurist chances.
Said her dear butler Hollis,
"If madame goes braless,
She could tuck them both into her pantses."
--- MrMalo

While dancing with Archbishop Smalls.
He said, "Madame, your dancing enthralls,
But step back a bit --
I believe your left tit
Is rebounding off one of my balls."
--- MrMalo

A lady who jogged in the breeze,
Has bosoms that flapped to her knees.
Said she, "They're quite warm,
Keeps me dry in a storm;
When it snows, I use them for skis.
--- Anon

Happy birthday you wrinkled old bag;
Of your breasts I can no longer brag.
For I reached for a tit,
But they've dropped quite a bit,
And I hate that those babies now sag.
--- Bob Birch P0508

I once knew a young girl named Maggie
Whose bosom was terribly saggy.
She borrowed a bra
From her buxom old ma,
And then she appeared merely baggy.
--- Glen Hughes P0201

I know an old hooker named Fagg
Whose dugs are beginning to sag,
But rather than pout
She waves them about,
A signal to johns like a flag.
--- Armand E Singer 675

This girls teats were quite rare;
They were covered all over with hair!
Her nipples were long
As a normal man's schlong,
And they whooshed when exposed to the air.
--- Anon

While nude, the old stripper danced about,
As she checked the old geezer's spout.
Though boobs at him she pointed,
She was sore disappointed,
'Cause it did not take the wrinkles out.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0112

This is file psm

An exotic fan dancer named Ellen
Had one small and one pendulous melon;
The resultant imbalance
Quite negated her talents --
Just how high she'd have flown, there's no tellin'.
--- Armand E Singer 775

Young Josephine's awful depressed,
Once more by the size of her chest;
When dressing or changing,
Forever arranging
Balloons up the front of her vest.
--- Peter Wilkins

Today though she's hiding away;
No surprise - it's a "bad balloon day",
With one droopy D
Cup balloon and one wee
One not very much bigger than A.
--- Peter Wilkins

I'll tell you of young Betsy Googe,
Who lives down in old Baton Rouge.
Her starboardmost titty
Is small, pert, and pretty.
Her port one's enormously huge.
--- Tiddy Ogg

When sweet Betsy's titties I suckles,
I knead them real good with my knuckles.
And each time I drink,
I tickle her pink,
As well with my gurgles and chuckles.
--- SFA

The big one's a mouthful for sure;
The small one has dainty allure.
So I give them a suck
Then she gives me a fuck,
And she'll be my amour du jour.
--- SFA

When titties are found in two sizes,
The smaller is full of surprises.
If one takes the bother
Of sucking the other,
They'd see that the other one rises.
--- SFA

Cyanistes are blue and great tits,
But what are these feminine bits?
And blue-footed boobies?
Stop smoking those doobies;
Your taste in birds is the pits.
--- Donald McGill

Cried a silly old maid of Devizes:
"Mercy me! My tits are two sizes.
Still, there's no one to see
How they look, except me,
And I'm rather above such surprises."
--- Grand Prix Lim 365 G1541

The breasts that we men like to dwell on
Range in size from fired-egg to melon.
So a girl who's intent
To reduce or augment,
Could be seen as a cosmetic felon.
--- Alex Heydon P0412

A young bodybuilder named Rex
Bought two bras to support his huge pecs;
Wore the 48B
When he let them hang free,
And a black one with D-cups to flex.
--- Lims For Year - 01

There was a young lady named Bates
Who amused every one of her dates
By keeping one breast
In total arrest,
While the other described figure eights.
--- Isaac Asimov

A lively young Wave on a tryst
Lost a falsie while doing the Twist.
Though she struggled to hide it,
Her bust was lopsided,
And gave her a sharp larboard list.
--- Limericks for John P8404

A lopsided shopper named Gail
Weighed each of her tits on a scale;
The breast on her left
Had the greatest of heft,
While the right one was light as a snail.
--- Cap'n Bean P0104

This Patty from our music city
Was known as exceptionally pretty.
It wasn't her face
That made us give chase,
'Twas the size of her left-sided titty!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This girl is just full of surprises,
For her breasts are of quite different sizes.
While the one on the left
Completely lacks heft,
The one on the right has won prizes.
--- Norman Storer P0511Q

This girl is just full of surprises,
For her breasts are of quite different sizes.
While the one on the right
Is pitifully slight,
The one on the left has won prizes.
--- Norman Storer P0511Q

A pretty young nudist named Valance
Had breast sizes so out of balance,
Her left won a prize
For its firmness and size,
But her right had no similar talents.
--- Alex Heydon P0503

Chuckled canny old Mel from St. Helens,
"Tits range from small lumps to big melons,
But there's always a call
For tits, big or small,
From executives, artist, and felons."
--- Grand Prix Lim 846

My girl friend's astonishing teat,
Is as tough as an old catcher's mitt.
The other was lighter,
And softer and whiter.
I wonder what happened to it?
--- Anon

The wife of Attila the Hun
Had odd titties, the story's been spun:
The one on the left
Had the usual heft,
But the other weighed nearly a ton.
--- Hugh Clary

A titty that weighs near a ton
May not be the best kind of fun.
A flick at the nipple
Could cause quite a ripple;
The bounce will concuss and then stun.
--- Archie

The doc (GYN and Obstetric)
Is conversant with things dialectic.
He surprised the whole nation
With astute observation,
That no tits are completely symmetric.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0506

A romantic named Percy Bysshe Shelley
Said this of Liza Minelli:
While one of her breasts
Is admired by my guests,
The other one looks like Gene Kelly.
--- Bill Wall

While one is a 34-B,
The other hangs down to my knee.
Since you say you can't sleep
Without one in your keep,
At least sleep in the same bed with me.
--- Pierce Evans

To his bride said the lynx-eyed detective,
"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
Has the east teat the least bit
The best of the west teat,
Or is it a trick of perspective?"
--- Langford Reed L0152

I like just a tad of asymmetry;
It adds to a breast a sublimity.
A little more heft
Right tit or left,
I enjoy with bemused equanimity.
--- Tutta Gioia

I know of a woman named Hall
With one tit that's huge and one small.
This quite odd disparity
Is truly a rarity --
The only case I can recall.
--- Armand E Singer 192

There was a young man, Mr Rub-a-dub,
Who belonged to the Suck, Fuck, & Bugger Club.
But the pride of his life
Were the teats of his wife:
One real, and one India-rubber bub.
--- L0264

Small breasts had made her life hellish.
Their fullness she sought to embellish.
Once double-A, these
Are now double-D's!!!
Now she serves them to men with great relish.
--- Ogmentation

I found one for XXL rooters;
It's made for the species with hooters.
So why are the ladies
Like limo Mercedes,
But men's are like li'l Mini Cooters?
--- Anon

A lady from Vanity Fair
Had a most astonishing pair.
One listing to port
Was the usual sort,
But the other, to starboard, was square.
--- W F N Watson

I have got two very nice tits.
They fill out my blouse so it fits.
The one on the left
Is feeling bereft --
The one on the right's lost its wits.
--- Anon