MORE
Then try passing solids, not soup; I wish we could get all these spammers, Your level is not very high; Original maybe, you fool dog Some spammers do really incense; The idea you got there is right, I see that your brain is still small, You're bound to be apprehensive; To Stefan Vogel, Fruhliche Oster! There was an old bastard named Jason, Hey, Astra, Don't pick on that lass! At kindness, I've been somewhat ineptical; There's a zoo hailing from the Northwest There once was a fellow named Jim (Archie flame for McW for calling people minions.)
My posting is surely an endeavor What the fuck was that you wrote, Herkin? This I can say with great wit, Come out from the closet, you cad! Please John, if you can, write some code It isn't much fun, my dear chap, I see Aitch has not changed a bit; We're sorry our rhymes don't please you, I have just been reading this mail, I see from your latest foray Applying your toothless invectives, To judge by the form of your letter, There was a young homo from Sway; What we have in this newsgroup's hilarious With my brilliance, you clearly can't cope, You are not just a simple cow; Started this was by a bore; You've got it all wrong once again. I'm sure there will be more to come, Oh Doug, you're a fool and a cad, Netiquette seems to be dead. (Blaine Shisler from shallow end of the gene pool)
I'd make you all minions, enslaved; When Jimbo had posted this crap So short out little newbie and die. Are ALL your jokes stolen, you sot? He don't go to Ku Klux Klan meets; Well look here, it's Keven O'Conner. I'm not surprised you've been caught; John's posting proves he is an ass, Hey buddy, we're laughing at YOU! Perhaps I should make myself clear He seems to be sticking around Good Lord! Is there someone in here Why's it so hard to convey Please don't forget me, Ms Spuddie, The antecede's lost in the meadows, Malo, where are you when you're needed? Dear Spammer, we want you to know No, Jessica's medium is shit; A spammer complained with a sigh, To this group, you're obviously new; Hit the bunkers and hunker a yawn, There's never less brain to the grouse, You'd be lucky to huddle a candle I'm new to this group, I admit; There's a turd in the punch bowl, I fear, I couldn't have stated it better, It's impossible just to ignore I think it's wise you take a pass. You can't jamb your willy nowhere Yo Two Dogs, I'm afraid this is it; To criticize, you are pretty quick, We have here a dumbass named Mick,
I don't want to swim in your poop.
Down here in the dumps,
We only need lumps
From people who crap in this group.
--- Anon
And then rip off all their pajammas,
Then torture their dicks
With strange Eastern tricks,
Then throw what is left in the slammers
--- Anon
You don't even bother to try.
Writing limericks here
Where we hold them so dear;
Please drink some drano and die!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But lims still elude you, you dumb hog.
Whatever you wrote
Will not get my vote;
Now please go and drown in a bog!
--- Archie
They are so incredibly dense.
But none quite so bad
As these unbroken ads.
Strap your ass to an electric fence.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But the rhyming just isn't quite tight.
Your meter is loose,
So give it a goose
And then we might have a fair fight.
--- Cheryl
Much like the size of your ball.
We don't give a fuck
What you think, you schmuck,
So go to a cliff and please fall.
--- Anon
After all, liposuction's expensive.
But you need to act quick
For you are a fat prick
And I'm trying not to be too offensive.
--- Anon
You feather-brained spamming imposter;
And all eggs you hide
Will spread far and wide...
Both 'Bird flu' and your Herpes zoster.
Whose horrible death I would hasten.
I'd feed him to worms,
To see how he squirms,
But they'd vomit his crap in a basin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This news group could do with some class.
Forgive all the crimes
While reading the rhymes,
And keep flames confined to your ass!
--- Bob Leclerc
At times, I've made some folks dyspeptical.
But I've turned a new leaf.
If that's beyond belief,
Then fuck all you bastards who're skeptical.
--- MrMalo A
Who, despite our advice, feels it best
To concoct dopey verses
Which bring only curses --
Actaeon, please give it a rest!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who seldom got off in a quim.
But in his opinion
'Twas fine if a minion
Would do it an' blame it on him.
--- Archie Q
For while it's also not very clever,
I'm not quite so crude
As to say "Fuck you, Dude!"
Oops! Well!...I did, but I thought I'd never!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your head must have not been workin'.
If you play with your dick
Like you write limerick,
Get someone else to do the jerkin'!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And many don't seem to get it:
One man's satire
Is another's burning tire.
So I am forced to flame every twit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Or are you afraid to be spotted unclad?
Will the folks find you silly
With your wee little willie?
Now please don't you go away mad!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To block out the cross-posters load
Of shit that don't rhyme.
And if you've the time,
Please make their lame gonads explode.
--- H Welchel
To read all your dumb spammer's crap.
I wish, in this season,
That you lose all reason
To live, as crabs grow in your lap.
--- Q
Eight weeks and he's still writing shit.
But his new shortened name
Will not strain his brain.
He can focus on thinking and wit.
--- Big Bob TP9807
But we're doing the best we can do.
So please have some pity;
Some day we'll be witty;
This is really a hard working crew.
--- Mike Hunter
And think you're gone off the rail.
You think that you're witty,
Thus, get all of my pity;
In life you are destined to fail.
--- Richard Martin
That you're having a very bad day.
I'm tempted to spank you
But instead I shall thank you --
For proving what I had to say!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Confusing the chosen ad-jectives:
It's breath that is stronger,
In that silly monger,
Along with his other defectives.
--- Anon
I'm sure that this girl could do better.
If she has any taste,
Your attempt is a waste;
In which case it's best to forget her.
--- MrMalo
Diceman was the name of this Gay,
Who posted much prose
And did not compose
Limericks. For his crimes he will pay.
--- Anon
Without miserable spammers nefarious.
Though you've got to have balls
To defile thess halls,
Your attachment to them grows precarious.
--- John Miller
As around, with your own trash, you mope.
But don't hold your breath;
The event of my death,
For this you can only just hope.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Goddamn fool is what you are now.
At least look at the form,
Before you pour scorn
And expose you ignorance, you sow!
--- Archie
The son of a rattled old whore.
He now should be now flung
In a heap of pig dung,
And left to remain ever more.
--- Anon
Too many hard posts here remain.
Post holes are the no-shows,
So pack up your limp hose,
And stop your sad pleas, so inane.
--- Anon
Just as soon as I can think of some.
Now your flames and your fight
Which, no doubt, will ignite,
Can be answered by inserting your thumb.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file pnl
A slimeball and rotten and bad.
You know nothing at all.
I could make you feel small,
But you're not worth the effort, you're sad!
--- Archie
Blaine? We should twist off his head.
He don't care a bit
To rhyme up his wit.
His daddy and ma? Interbred.
--- H Welchel
You'd cower, and grow well behaved.
But dollar for dollar,
It's cheaper to holler.
Thank Jesus for Spam - you are saved.
--- Anon
He went for a very short nap.
But he woke and he hissed,
When he found we'd all pissed
On him, his computer and lap!
--- Archie
(Your rhubarb will make a nice pie.)
We'll laugh and we'll shout
As your lights all go out,
And shit on your corpse as you fry!
--- Archie
You deluded and fake Caldicott.
Your father and mother
Did not know each other,
The night he put you in her twat!
--- Archie
His sisters aren't walking the streets;
And though he's not gay,
Salin is, boy-friends say...
"A wizard when under the sheets!"
--- David Miller
To what do we owe this grand honor?
You stroll in our place,
Throw dirt in our face,
Persist and you'll soon be a goner.
--- Frank Fazed
You sound thick as a brick and you ought
To be kicked in the balls
And your head smashed on walls;
It's our favorite spam-poster sport.
--- Peter Wilkins
When he wrote us his letter so crass.
His only post ever
Really wasn't so clever,
And was clearly lacking in class.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And your sorry, despicable crew
Of purveyors of SPAM.
Well, take it and cram
It, before we all cram it for you.
--- John Miller
Lest I be misunderstood as I fear.
I hope you realize,
You should not criticize;
To lead by example, you steer!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Because we are standing our ground.
So let's have some fun;
Has the flaming begun?
Come on everyone, gather 'round.
--- Steve Schrader
That would stoop to lim-bashing a queer?
Why, that's almost bigger
Than calling him "nigger".
The world must be ending! Oh, dear!
--- John Miller
To the people who post here this way;
The madness that's here
Has method that's clear.
Limericks are all you should say!
--- LadyJ
The Irishman forgets, you see,
That limericks are dirty,
Not sweet and not purty;
On that fact most all can agree.
--- Arden
Like Frost and graffiti in ghettos.
The path that's less travelled
Could be Ginger-mallowed,
If Steph has the right spicy hallows.
--- Anon
The rest of us all have conceded.
You're the best killer yet
Of Spam on the net,
And this newsgroup again must be weeded.
--- John Miller
That your posting is falling below
Where we draw the line.
Racist/sexist is fine,
But your rhyme and your meter don't go.
--- John Miller
She's spamming us here with no wit.
What talent she has
May be good 'nough for jazz,
But we folks don't like it one bit.
--- Anon
"Old Mum's a bit mouldy and dry.
She never responds
Or tugs at her bonds.
I miss that sweet gleam in her eye."
--- Anon
Of our rules, you haven't a clue.
We're all down and dirty,
Really quite flirty,
And Malo gives spammers their due!
--- Arden
But your clunkers come right from the spawn
Of the "Dawn of the Dead",
As the cells in your head
Make my belly give out a small groan.
--- Anon
Than with dear Mrs Miller's good spouse.
At the limerick he's bad,
But the matter, she said:
Was his dick's more the size of a mouse.
--- Anon
To me, and you would if you'd dandle.
But you're not, so the snot
That litters the slot,
Where your nose was provides a good handle.
--- Anon
Why's MrMalo having a fit?
His actions are rude
And uncommonly crude
To us Ladies and Women of Wit.
--- Rapunzel
And the smell is excedingly queer.
The riddle by Mulqueen
Has more smell than sheen;
Lets throw the bloke right out of here.
--- Anon
To this asshole for his spam letter.
We just do a slow burn;
They never will learn.
Does there exist a on-line paper shredder?
--- S C Saint
Such a chauvinistic old bore.
To your sexist twattle
And copious rattle,
I'll just quote Poe and say, "Nevermore."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You DID NOT attribute, alas.
The rest is clap trap,
You wouldn't share crap.
Don't let the door slam on your ass.
--- Frank Fazed
Unless, perchance you had two pair:
You're lacking your nuts
From my cruelest cuts --
I guess you forgot they're not there.
--- Anon
I'm sick of your Macho bullshit.
You posture and pose
When everyone knows,
You have got no nuts, they've been snipped!
--- Anon
But how about making it stick.
You spout off the most,
But without your own post,
Your opinions could never mean dick!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As pigshit, it seem he is thick.
I've not met dumber pricks
Who can't see limericks
Should go here, 'cause prose makes us sick.
--- Tiddy Ogg
MORE