I met Candy, Sandy and Mandy, There was an Old Person of Troy, Here's brandy! Come fill up your tumbler, "Although when he was young," remarked Andy, The medicinal power of brandy With Mabel, I'll cruise down the Rhine. Bizarrely, the Boozer's Bazaar Keep on hand an aged brandy, A broken-down actor named Andy Although liquor is quicker than candy, Fair Julia, who sold Christmas candy, Andrew Jackson, whose nickname was Andy, A careless old hooker from Frisco, (pisco - South American brandy)
This picture's of me and the chaps; A prolific old woman from Sandy There once was a woman named Sandy, Too much 'speed' in the world resulteth A sleepy programmer named Jean I'm back in the land of the free; I will not forget my main function So whether you want to relax And soon I'll be going away, The running from bulls might be fun If you've drugs in abundance to sell, In Holland they'll gladly submit "Hey Sarge," asked the tenderfoot nark, I know that you'll think me quite dotty, Now that memories of Yuletide have paled, If offended by this, beg your pardon, I'd go on a luxury cruise, Judge Hemp & Reverend Lockjaw My plan for the sellers of dope They smuggle mafu through Havana; (mafu?)
This is file plm
There was a bad apple from Newton A mobile phone user called Sue, A nasty young fellow named Jack In the 60's our consciousness grew Intravenous drug user O Mize, A drug-using douchebag named Kevin, There once was a young man called Dave, The party was hot; I was dripping She said she was Welsh, name of Gwyndle, Life flew by before my own eyes, There was a teenager named Donna, The rain from branches was dripping; In Flander's fields the poppies grow. The Good Old Days -- hallucination The Hon. Ginsburg could plead I was thinking, while taking a hit, A young Psychologist, Jolene, There was a young fellow named Chris Her lover and Miss Susie Wong The Good Old Days, to needle meant An earnest young stoner from Sydney There once was a whore from North Seoul When men seek release from their pain Judge Hemp and Reverend Lockjaw In all things a rapid beginner, For the lad though, we hold out slim hope. A quiet young head known as Clark, Crack, pot, LSD, and cocaine There once was a teacher at school; Calculating hit man, Adam Sugged, The pain in the molar, it's clear, I have a big sister called Fiona, When I told my hippie friend, Lance, Long ago, I was tripping on acid,
Triplets with a liking for brandy.
I know who was who,
It was not hard to do,
One was tall, one was small, one was bandy.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
Which he took with a spoon,
By the light of the moon,
While fondling a tender young boy.
--- Edwardian Leer 007
Or ale if your liking be humbler,
And while you've a shilling
Keep filling and swilling,
A fig for the growls of the grumbler.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
"He was, I suppose, quite a dandy.
Now he's taken to drink
And has started, I think,
Raising St. Bernards just for the brandy."
--- Leonore P8307
Is guaranteed; so keep some handy.
Its wondrous effct
Kept Churchill erect,
But at the same time, did naught for Gandhi.
--- Bill Wall
Now, she knows I'm a Master of Wine.
I shall glance at the label,
Take a sip and cry, "Mabel,
If you ask me, this brandy is Hine." (cognac)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Sells its fortified port by the jar
And its brandy in buckets...
It's bloody good luck, it's
Just seventeen minutes by car.
--- Rory Ewins
'Cause it will make some girls randy.
And if you're sad or blue,
Brandy's good for you;
So always have some brandy handy.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Had a weakness for apricot brandy,
And when he got tight
He was Dante one night,
And the following night he was Gandhi.
--- Limber Limericks
The expense of a bottle of brandy
Is undoubtedly more
Than is needed to score --
So if candy is handy, it's dandy!
--- Philo Logue P8403a
Really thought that Napoleon was dandy.
But Josephine, the Empress,
Yelled, "Police, arrest the temptress!
She's no license to make Napoleon B. randy!"
--- H Myers T9712
Would need a lift, his choice was brandy.
When asked by the press,
Said his wife blandly, "Yes,
Brandy Andy is randy and dandy."
--- Irving Superior P9710
Got turpentine mixed in her pisco,
And scalded with steam
A muff-divers dream,
Because he refused to let puss go.
--- L1165
Those are frauleins we've got on our laps.
I know what you're thinking --
Quite right; we'd been drinking.
We call this our holiday Schnapps. (apple brandy)
--- Alistair Sampson Liq Lims
Got a carload of Mother's Day candy;
By the end of July
Three boxes were dry,
And she soaked them in apricot brandy.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who tempted her men with peach brandy.
If their screwing was nice,
She'd reward them with spice;
If they ate her she'd pay them with candy.
--- Bob Birch P0107
In our planet being in such a meth.
As in biblical scenes,
Those amphetamines,
Have seen people being stoned to death.
--- Guy Ben-Moshe
Chose to end his long fast from caffeine.
He sipped sugared coffee
And screamed and took off. He
Has not since been heard from or seen.
--- Anon
Those feds are now ridden of me.
And I'm selling my stash
Of Guinea Gold hash;
It's criminal giving it free.
--- Anon
Of handing out some extreme unction.
You'll find me down town,
Just hangin' aroun',
At Main Street and River Road junction.
--- Anon
By smoking some more of my flax,
Or by resting your soul,
Or just taking a stroll -
And most of the cops turn their backs.
--- Anon
I'll be off to Spain Saturday,
But not for my job,
I'll be near that mob,
In Pamplona on a holiday.
--- Anon
In Pamplona, but I'm not one,
Of those loco fools;
I'll be testing bar stools,
Or tanning myself in the sun.
--- Anon
And your transactions all start to gel,
And your buyers pay cash,
And you unload your stash,
That's what happens when drug deals go well.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0211
To the end of the world with a hit
Of their favorite dope,
And get high on the hope
That in Hell there's unlimited shit.
--- Peter Wilkins
"Just why is this called 'Needle Park'?"
"See the needles on these
Lovely evergreen trees?
There's three junkies per needle, come dark!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8501
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple expresso,
I take off my dress, Oh! (I put on a dress-o)
And really start acting quite naughty.
--- C Fitz-Nobbins
Our Rock group into the New Year sailed.
Our Lil' Drummer Boy, Kayle,
We have bailed out of jail,
Where they stashed him when he, drug tests, failed.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9901
But I've heard that the young Sammy Warden
Begs his schoolmates of late
"Hey, please help me get straight.
I've just got to get to Kindergarten."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0001
But spent all my money on booze.
So I'm stuck in this pit,
Surrounded by shit,
And sniff a selection of glues.
--- Anon
Took the overnight train to Saginaw;
Cursed with wild dreams,
Hysterical screams,
They'd puffed on great stuff we outlaw!
--- Anon
Is not to cry, "How can we cope?"
It's to round up the bums,
And beat on their gums,
Then swing them, at the end of a rope.
--- Gifford Wherry
It pays for Fidel's plush cabana.
With a toke of this dope,
You'll envision the Pope
With Sister Bertrille 'stride his 'nana...
--- Anon
Who went in for heroin shootin'.
Well, she got off her rocks,
Now she wears a pine box,
That she'll look everlastingly cute in.
--- Betty Noire TP9806
Stuck her phone to her head using glue.
This made her bill
As high as a hill,
And the glue got her high, too.
--- Anon
Has problems in fending off flack;
His friends are outraged
And fit to be caged:
He hooked his own mother on smack.
--- Armand E Singer 888
From smoking pot, LSD too.
Our minds would expand
But not our headband,
Till finally all our minds blew.
--- Anon
After myriad, prolonged, botched tries,
Probed his rubbery veins.
His remains now contain
Hematomas of prodigious size.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0204
Got high, and was off in blue Heaven.
Then the dizzy-assed cuss
Stepped in front of a bus;
The rest of the story at eleven.
--- Mustafa X
Who took some pills at a rave.
His eyes rolled back,
He had an attack,
And ended up in his grave.
--- Bezz
With sweat; everyone started stripping;
The blue girl next to me
Said, "You on LSD?"
The wine had been spiked; I was tripping.
--- Anon
Her lurcher was green, red and brindle.
We chased a March hare;
Then just for a dare,
I flew from a third-story window.
--- Anon
A spectrum of light filled the skies
Disappearing to dark.
I woke in the park,
Naked, covered in dog-shit and flies.
--- Anon
Who never said, "No, I don't wanna."
Two days out of three,
She would shoot LSD,
And on weekends she smoked marijuana.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2318
The student, on acid, was tripping;
Surreal surroundings
Where nothing has grounding;
Reality quietly slipping.
--- Cap'n Bean P0302
Colombia and Mexico.
When drug wars begin,
You'll see next of kin,
Between the crosses, row on row.
--- Irving Superior P9803
Today is -- Hallelu-cination.
So many of us high,
The editors now cry,
"Is the US a lucid nation?"
--- Irving Superior P8803
That he'd had the flu, and, "Indeed,
My docket's behind,
But please bear in mind
That these days I'm not up to speed."
--- A N Wilkins P8803
It's okay you decided to quit.
Because, as you see,
That just leaves more for me.
But, I'm willing to pass on a bit.
--- Anon
Never seemed to have time to keep clean.
From morning 'til night
Came clients uptight,
With problems that drove her to morphine!
--- Dick Hull
Who collected toadstools in Diss.
His interest in fungus
Was certainly humungous,
But eating them produced the most bliss.
--- K M Briggs
Had sex after "kicking the gong."
The narcotic effusion
Caused a little confusion;
At her climax she shouted, "Mah Jong!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
To josh (in words more vehement).
Or, phonograph to start
Or polygraph to chart.
Today, old age to circumvent.
--- Irving Superior P8803
Said, "Weed organ damage? You kid me!
Unless you mean, mate,
That in your relaxed state,
The Yakuza might harvest a kidney!"
--- Phil T
Whose brain size was that of a mole.
When asked for a light,
She replied with delight
"I'm sorry, I only smoke pole!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In opium, gin, or cocaine,
They fancy a puff
Or a sniff of the stuff
Is enough. They won't need it again.
--- Laurence Perrine P8803
Took the overnight train to Saginaw;
Cursed with wild dreams,
Hysterical screams;
They'd puffed on great stuff we now outlaw!
--- Anon
Young Fay soon excelled as a sinner.
When tired at nine,
Of cocaine and fine wine,
She switched to cigars and paint thinner.
--- Paul M Hoffman
We enabled the young chap to "cope."
Skilled at repetition,
Not much for contrition,
We predict he'll soon sell and use dope.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9901
Liked tripping at home in the dark;
But his Christmas went bad
When they raided his pad -
'Twas a visit from good ol Saint Narc.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Are all drugs which poison the brain;
As a shot in the arm
They can only do harm,
And are deadly when taken in vein.
--- Laurence Perrine P8803
Everyone thought she was a fool.
Though her name was Ms. Pope,
He was hooked upon dope,
But we still think she's pretty cool.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Killed a guy with the piece which he lugged.
Caught, tried, incarcerated,
He was not too ill-fated.
Every day in the Joint he stays drugged.
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Hooked DeQuincy on opium. Queer.
His work on this theme
Brought him instant esteem,
And a toothache thus launched his career.
--- A N Wilkins P8803
Sometimes she's a bit of a moaner.
When smoking a joint,
She misses the point,
Because she is a total stoner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
About medicine and its transplants,
He started to smoke;
Of poppy he spoke;
And joked about other trance plants.
--- Irving Superior P9503
While banging a girl from Lake Placid.
The hallucinations, I confess,
That floated out of her breast,
Were enough to make me go flaccid.
--- John Chastaine