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That nattering nabob Bill Ron, Don't worry John, I let him have it, he's The dogs in the street, I'm not kiddin' a Blackbeard's been cooked like a roast; A spam-spewing asshole from Hell; Your auto jokes simply don't pass: Butter man, get thee a churn, I'd laugh while I pound you with rocks. There once was a girl who used Comet Forgive me for raising my voice When cross-posting to A.J.L. Your shorts are yellow and brown, Bet your sweetbox is full of green cheese, Mr Malo, I've nothing to gain If you can't post a limerick rhyme, What is this, you sick mangy dog, And let's not forget all your toes, If O'Conner finds it so crass, You pompous supercilious bag of gas -- There are too many joke concessionaires; What is all this lame caterwaulin'? You asshole! You whiner! Go lighten up! To poets who like limericks blue, Hey Ollie, you fish-fucking fart! I'm sick of your back-talking sass, Every asshole who has a new site A master you are of philology, There's a rumor that is getting stronger. By some it is said that his dad Jinn Wins is a filthy fat prick. Jinn's father is over the hill, Hey Jinn Wins! You sad verbose twit. You smell as though you've just shit Such timely and seasonal humor! God may be good, but you're not; Malo ain't all that we got; I see there's lots of new pricks in here, I must say my pleasures are rife, You tried to write poetry -- how absurd! The writer's an ignorant fool. What kind of dumb notice is this? An anonymous poet online I know that is accurate, brother, The truth is fair hard to pass, You hold him; I'll shackle his balls For spammers, we have a great lab; Oh Spammere, come into our lab, Tautology, that ain't enough. This nasty piece of racist shit I once fucked a spammer so viciously I fart on your face and your tool. Can you tell your ass from your face? Unleashing the power of my mind Piss off, you ass-licking loser, You speak, sir, in riddles not rhyme; How we wish the writers of smut, Said Dad to Kelly with a smirk, If you want to be laughin' your ass Insulting you all is a job; Hickory Dickery Dock, You don't like us? Well that just tough shit. Hey Schmuck, this is alt.limericks What eloquence graceful and true! Shit! What the fuck's going on here? Oh buggero, fucko, and dammo, (imitation Portuguese)
Yo Danny, you're so fucking crass; This to all lamers and spammers:
(Who's lower than syphilitic rat spawn)
Should be banned from this page.
(I appeal to Toast Point and Sage)
'Twould be better if the fuckup were gone!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Got a size nine anal cavity.
I am sure we have heard
All we will from this turd.
Think I hit a new low for depravity
--- Anon
Bit, got sick eating slime that had slid 'n a
Foul mess on the curb
Giving birth to the Cerb,
And I'm being too kind to Echidna.
--- Anon
His nuts, we'll skewer and toast.
His entrail we'll boil
In vats of hot oil.
The pain we'll inflict is no boast!
--- Squat
A worthless ne'er-do-well.
Dick-licking cocksucker,
Shit head motherfucker,
Brought to you by AOL.
--- MrMalo
Don't rhyme and they ain't got no class.
Try something exotic
And auto-erotic:
Go bugger yourself up the ass.
--- John Miller
And insert the handle astern.
Maybe the action
Of your satisfaction
Will give you a deep rectal burn.
--- H Welchel
And up your butt, shove some scruffy old socks.
I'd giggle with joy
Then chop off your toy,
And leave you with naught in your jocks.
--- Marlene Lewis
To clean up a week's worth of vomit.
But then she had a fit,
When she'd not remove shit.
Is that clean enough for a sonnet?
--- S C Saint
But making way too much noise.
You seem so upset,
That I'll make a bet;
A large dick in the rear is YOUR choice.
--- Puff Adder
You need to make rhymes and rhyme well.
You're crowding our lists,
And we're getting pissed;
Now rhyme it or die, rot, and swell.
--- H Welchel
So you won't get them turned around.
Brown back, yellow front;
You sorry old cunt.
Your piss and shit marked them, you clown!
--- Gearhart
And your cunt lips flap down to your knees;
Bet you've scabs on your mound
And your jugs flop around;
Bet you're naught but a whore with disease.
--- Anon
By feeding your fetish for pain.
So I'll not be messin'
With you, you cross dressin'
Ass bandit with shit for a brain!
--- Duke Dillon
Then fuck off and stop wasting our time.
You're a nobody, son,
With an IQ of 1,
So piss off to your pit full of slime.
--- Peter
But a third-rate travelogue.
It's such utter crap
You lint-headed sap.
Go eat the shit of a hog.
--- Anon
Where all of that green fungus grows.
You eat it like cheese,
You walking disease,
Along with the cheese from your nose.
--- Gearhart
Our wiggling and shaking our ass,
Or mating with cows,
Sheep, chickens, or sows,
Let's salute him by passing some gas!
--- Arden
You don't like our limericks so crass?
We don't need your pity,
The reason? You're too shitty
From having your head up your ass!
--- Kaylin Brandon
Go sell yourself to someone who cares.
My ass, you can kiss it;
Is that quite explicit?
If not, "fuck you and your spamming wares."
--- S C Saint
As brains go, son, you got a small 'un.
Like I'd give two rat turds
For opinions from nerds.
Go home son. Yo mama, she's callin'.
--- Anon
Limericks are not truly your cup
Of hemlock or tea.
Why don't you go see
If your ass, you can go shove your head up!
--- Charles deTampa
I offer this poem to you:
Go suck your dick
(T'aint really a trick
For an upright self-fucker like you).
--- Joe Long
Posting non-rhyming shit here's not smart.
If you continue this sham
To plague us with Spam,
We'll be incline to hack off your "part".
--- Kasodrac
And your grammar is giving me gas.
That you've faggoty habits
With gerbils and rabbits,
I can see from the hare up your ass.
--- Anon
Must subject us to spam day and night.
I sure with that, you'd
Have your head unscrewed
And then screw the fucker on right.
--- MrMalo
A freak though, of form gynaecology.
Take your head from your ass;
Don't paste stuff so crass
It belongs in alt.crap.archaeology.
--- Anon
That Jinn's mum is with us no longer;
Having died with a grin
And cum on her chin,
While sucking a buffalo's donger.
--- David Miller
Was mad and quite sad as a cad.
He shafted his mum
In mouth, twat and bum,
And Jinn is a turd that she had.
--- Archie
His dirty socks make his mum sick;
And to avoid his fleas
Or catching a disease,
She must pick them up with a stick.
--- David Miller
And mum is addicted to pills;
Both sisters are whores
And covered with sores,
Contracted from gay brother Phil.
--- David Miller
Try posting less shit and omit
Your sisters's porn sites,
Where you're dressed in tights
And licking a dead donkey's clit.
--- David Miller
And can't stand parting with it.
So keep in your shorts
A couple of quarts,
So you won't miss your turds one bit.
--- Gearhart
This is file pll
I'll have to cut loose with a boomer.
Place lips on my ass.
Inhale while I pass.
Now crawl off and die of a tumor.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To us you're a big bag of snot,
Who would spoil a good lay,
Or lead us astray,
From our serious study of twat.
--- Anon
I can handle this limp-dicked li'l snot.
I'll smack him with trout,
Get my enema bag out,
And make him fuck cows that are hot.
--- Cheryl
Trying to write limericks in here.
Their tries are so lame,
They deserve a good flame,
And a few very large warty dicks in rear.
--- Puff Adder a
'Cause you see, Duke, I do have a life.
In fact I have two,
One to occupy you,
While the others home fucking your wife.
--- MrMalo
You mangle mis-use of the verb.
Just move it around;
When it starts to turn brown,
You can morph it all into a turd.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He thinks his stupidity's cool.
I hope he's a queer
Fucking boys up the rear;
That would keep his genes out of our pool.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
We might go there just for a piss.
On your stupid site
We'd visit and shite,
But we ain't got time for you, miss.
--- Anon
Has every right to opine.
But if he can't take a joke,
His dick he can stroke,
The obnoxious, penis-pumping swine!
--- Anon
'Cause I love when her throat I can smother
With the length of my pine,
As she swallows my brine,
(And by 'her', I refer to your mother).
--- Anon
Even for one who lacks class.
It has to be said,
One's better off dead
Than to be such a pain in the ass!
--- Gerard Hannan
To one of those rings in the walls.
They I'll make him madder
By piercing his bladder
With one of my Carpenter's Awls.
--- SFA
We will strap the bloke down on a slab;
We will dig out his pole
And rub dirt in his hole;
Then he'll piss through a green/yellow scab!
--- Allen Wolverton
And we'll strap you right down on a slab;
You know what's next, Bud?
You'll lose your cute pud,
Then you'll piss through a green/yellow scab!
--- Allen Wolverton
A liar, too; all of this stuff
Ain't funny at all,
So Soll, heed this call:
Remove head from your mommy's muff.
--- Anon
From some fucking, asshole twit,
Who should get a flame
For a posting so lame,
Deserves no replies to it.
--- Arden
He bled through his nose inauspiciously.
His asshole, once tight,
Will never be right.
He now shits his pants surreptitiously.
--- H Welchel
I shit in your boots and your gruel.
Cajole if you must --
I'll bust through the crust
And leave your old sphincter to drool.
--- Anon
If so, stick a bomb in that place,
Then use your wee prick
As an ignition wick,
And blast yourself off into space.
--- Anon
(My charisma is sharply defined)
I detect this is SPAM
And a flag-pole I ram
Up your pox-ridden hairy behind.
--- Anon
(That's proved -- he's an AOL user,)
So stick that prose crap
In your old mother's gap,
Next time you go forth to abuse her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Which proves you are wasting our time.
So go back to chasin'
Your sister, please Jason.
You'll fit her, if she's only nine.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Could take heed and safe sex in their rut.
Do blow jobs with abandon,
If they'll use a condom,
And stick their pencils up their butt.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Get out there and get some real work,
And stop posting slime
To these folks of rhyme,
You spam-fucking cock-sucking jerk!"
--- S&M
Off then stick this where most pass our gas
Off; and please take this rhyme
And in double-quick time,
Stuff it up with some broken cut glass
--- Anon
I do hope I've not made you sob.
That would be a pity
For people so shitty;
I suggest you go suck your Dad's knob.
--- Bellal Yaqub
Your sister loves to rock
Her ass to and fro
On a giant dildo,
And your mama likes sucking my cock.
--- MrMalo
So just get the fuck, out of it.
Ain't worth a damn
Your opinion, my man,
Who need you, you stupid twit.
--- Arden
So listen up close, stupid pricks.
At least try to rhyme
In AABBA time
And later we'll discuss your dicks.
--- Arden
Yer imagerys just like the spew
Of that sick poon yer
Screwing, now joonyer,
I only have two words for you.
--- Anon
Not lim'ricks and that's bloody clear.
This ignorant bugger
(He's just a cock-tugger)
I'll jab up the arse with my spear!
--- Anon
I thinko 'tis pyramid spammo.
So, prat from Brazil,
I will you ill will,
And a spike up your asshole I'll rammo!
--- Tiddy Ogg
In future this n.g. please pass.
I think you would make
A fine birthday cake;
The candles we'll stick up your ass.
--- S&M
Take all your adverts and yammers,
Without any lube --
Just find you a tube --
And pound in reverse with sledgehammers.
--- H Welchel
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