There once was a black-hearted knave Said a young lady named Abbey Bowen I recently smoked my last roach; Errol Flynn when once he was blotto There once was a fellow named Norton A truly great chemist is Flack, This child of the Age of Aquarius -- A dealer in cocaine named Moses From the depths of a prison's confines Though the Mexicans tend to be clannish, The film began with LSD -- The Good Old Days -- "crack up" -- a plane Cocaine, if it is inhaled, Most dealers in coke, I suppose, Says one GOP hopeful, "One blow The Good Old Days when "dirty crack" -- A guy from New York has the knack Maradona, a footballing bloke, There was a young girl dressed in black, There once was a crack-head named Gore; This month I'm among the decliners; With Wham! George's music was funky. "No more drugs in my stable," said Gay, Her stash of cocaine's called "Rock, white" (Jeb Bush, Gov of Florida, daughter caught with cocaine)
The whole world's suffering attacks; Maradonna's name linked with cocaine; You have all heard of a mule train; The carrier is known as a mule, There once was a dealer from Gary, Sensitive politician, Joe Zack, Two narcs in a drug-busting pack I am writing this letter to Scott There was a young student named Cass
This is file pkm
Deer Archie, you taut me a lot's; I've quit that ol' huffin' and puffin'; A muffin? You ask, what's that got Four grams in one muffin? - A LIE! Well, 'dying' may be a bit strong You really should watch what you toke -- Detoxification I need Once said an old begger of Kish, "Us harlots," said Kate, "Grow our pot When he planted some pot, Farmer Howie, A secret I'd like to unleash With some traffic stops there's a lot to it. There once was a fellow named Brian My dad has cancer and ate Worked all day long without hope; There once was a fellow named Marty, This morning I'm puffin' my pipe, The sweet tingly smell of good weed Our son got caught with some pot, I heard some weird things walking past The helicopter buzzes over head; All Muslims are guilty as hell, But I think you'll find around here, Pope Archie the First, the dope pope, I've recently been offered some hash; Now Margaret does sure beat the lot, They use dope in D.C., I swear. It's trouble when heavenly grass Those guys that will use heavy weed Mary Jane's weed, described as fodder, On my last visit to Mexico If only more people today, My friend recently got cancer;
Who sold me some pills at a rave.
The bastard had gall;
He sold me Tylenol,
Instead of the substance I crave.
--- Phil T
This tale 'bout my boyfriend's worth knowin'.
Tranquilizers he takes
Then pep pills when he wakes;
Doesn't know if he's "calming or going."
--- Michael F Ellis P8902
'Twas easy; I needed no coach.
I did have one loss;
Wasted lots of sauce
When the space 'twixt the legs, I did broach.
--- Cyber Wizard
Smeared cocaine on his dick and said, "What Ho!
When I start to reflect
On the women I've decked,
'Things go getter with Coke' is my motto."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8803
Who had a bad habit of snortin'
Cocaine every day,
Which came quickly his way,
For his brother was into importin'.
--- Cap'n Bean P9812
Whose doctoral thesis on cack
Became world-renowned,
Has recently found
The stuff's as addictive as crack.
--- Armand E Singer 890
His hold on real life is precarious,
Not to speak of cocaine
Which has rotted his brain;
His sins of the flesh are quite various.
--- Armand E Singer 926
Has a problem that one might suppose is
That, though millions he reaps,
He's just one of those creeps
With his business in other folks noses.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8803
Came a sad cocaine user's bleak whines,
"How can limerists go free
While a fellow like me
Gets busted for doing five lines?"
--- Bob Giandomenico P8907
A visitor's problems will vanish,
Observers report
If he is the sort
Who knows how to say COKE in Spanish.
--- A N Wilkins P8607
The skipper, then, more wild grows he --
To needles and snorting,
Rebellion he's courting.
The film, The Cocaine Mutiny.
--- Irving Superior P8803
Or any girl while being lain.
"Crack down" -- to evil stop
Or if the girls on top.
Today a sales graph of cocaine.
--- Irving Superior P8803
Your nares will be sorely assailed.
Free-based, it's toxic,
Makes you hypoxic --
And if you're caught, you'll be jailed.
--- Kaylin
Don't think of themselves as our foes.
But in jails they sit, broken,
For incessantly pokin'
Their business in everyone's nose.
--- Anon
Will lay the damned deficit low.
Have the Feds sell Coke plain
And laced with cocaine.
The voter can simply say no."
--- A N Wilkins P8803
A vulgar snide vocal attack,
Or else could allude
To pussies over-used.
We wish The Good Old Days were back.
--- Irving Superior P8803
For mixing his sins in the sack.
He sprinkles his snow
On the mound of a 'ho,
And declares that he double snorts crack.
--- Irish a
Was in Switzerland when he awoke.
The doctors assured:
"You're finally cured.
As you see, you're drinking your Coke!"
--- Robin Maylett
Who kept her drugs in a spice rack.
It wasn't her fault,
Her mom thought it salt;
Now her family is all hooked on crack.
--- Lims For Year - 01
He worked in a high-rise till four.
He had just gotten high,
And ran to the sky.
He fell from the thirty-first floor.
--- Anon
I won't corrupt innocent minors;
A theme about coke
Is a bad sort of joke
When some many of us are five-liners.
--- Ed Potts P8803
Though gay, teenage girls thought him spunky;
But addicted to smack,
He's been caught offering "crack"
In toilets, to cops and a junkie.
--- David Miller
As I've just had a really bad day;
And I've now made it plain,
That to drugs like cocaine,
All my horses should now just say "Neigh!"
--- David Miller
Because of her dad's lofty height --
The media hacks
Just won't call it "crack",
Because "crack's" for the poor and non-white.
--- Dr Limerick 12-10-02
From somewhere comes dreaded anthrax.
It's hard to explain
To sellers of cocaine,
Why white powder demands have relaxed.
--- Tony Burrell
His football fans ask, is he sane?
Their idol, their dream,
Has gone down in esteem,
And their loss is a drug dealer's gain!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
From Jamaica comes a mule plane.
A kilo of coke
Inside every bloke,
But flying that way is a pain.
--- Tony Burrell
And he sure is a bit of a fool.
For it surely is plain
That cocaine is a pain,
So cocaine is a pain in the tool!
--- AA
Who fell for a tight end named Barry.
He would fuck like a horse,
'Cause he needed the source
Of quality crack from a fairy!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When discovered to be smoking crack,
Went on the defensive;
Said, "This is offensive:
An affront to be taken aback!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0305
Bodysearched a fat bull-dyke named Mack
And to their surprise
After spreading her thighs,
Found hidden there ten pounds of crack.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8801
To say I've become antipot.
So he'd better take heed,
And get rid of the weed,
Or the sex that was hot, will be not.
--- Sheila B
Who said, "I don't know why they gas
So much about pot,
Get up tight and what not,
For the Bible says, 'All flesh is grass.'"
--- A N Wilkins P0211
Like coma's and, sentence-end dots...
The part I liked best
Was when we wood rest,
When we was done smoking those pot's.
--- Anon
For 4 years I haven't touched nuffin'.
On second thought [laugh]
Make that 4 and a half;
Summer '98 I ate that muffin.
--- Zaphod
To do with huff-puffin'? A lot!
'Cause guess what was in
That darn old muffin?
Four grams of the craziest pot.
--- Zaphod
Well okay then, don't make me cry.
A sandcake it was,
But caused equal fuzz
When eaten, I thought I would die.
--- Zaphod
But goddamn! That trip lasted long;
In hours - 36!
With the mind playin' tricks,
I'll never again go so wrong.
--- Zaphod
The stuff that you grow and then smoke,
Will cause you to go
quite mad, and you know,
Your brain is now just about broke.
--- Archie
After chewing this cannabis weed.
I was led to believe
By old Adam and Eve,
'Twas a vitamin supplement feed.
--- Anon
"A Djinn once did grant me a wish.
The great demon spoke
From a big cloud of smoke,
But all of the smoke was hashish."
--- Phil T
In composted condoms and snot,
Douche-water and piss; it
Grows really good shit!
It smokes well, but smells like dead twat."
--- David Miller
Didn't figure this treat for his cow. He
Got a second-hand buzz
From her milk, which now was
A brand new drink -- Cowie Wowie!
--- Ann Gasser P8803
That goes back to the days of Ganesh:
Leaf, trimmed from your flowers,
Has wonderful powers,
If sifted and pressed for hashish.
--- Dan Headcase
If you're holding, you may damn well rue it.
Though you may look benign,
They'll call in a canine;
It gets deep when they let the dog do it.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0512Q
Who rode to Port Jeff on a lion;
After smoking a joint
He returned to Blue Point
And both he and the lion were flyin'.
--- Anon
The pot in the cookies I baked
For him with love.
With the help from above,
He'll live to see eighty-eight.
--- Anon
Stress makes it so hard to cope.
So when I get home,
I twist up a bone,
And smoke the stuff not used for rope.
--- Anon
Said, "Weed gives me gas; makes me farty."
So when he would toot,
Those who knew, all would scoot
To his pad for a smokin' good party.
--- Anon
And my brain filled with wonderous light.
My mind flew away;
It's my body did stay.
Goddamn! This new weed is alright!
--- Eydol
Fills all smokers hearts with this need:
That their friends will share,
Their dealers be fair,
And that soon the good herb will be freed.
--- Michelle
But we went to court and we fought,
Against the law
That can hurt us all.
The proceedings got kind of hot.
--- Williams BC
The Neuroscience session, on grass.
Good ideas? Not a bit.
They just talked loads of shit,
And all got green stains on their ass.
--- Anon
Awakes me from my garden bed.
I can't let that cop
Destroy my crop.
I must grow it inside, instead.
--- Anon
But not for the towers that fell,
But they will not acknowledge
My rights to the foliage,
That God lets me grow and then sell.
--- Archie
It's Christians who think it is clear
That the growing of dope
Means abandon all hope
Of meeting your maker sans fear.
--- John Miller
Is sliding full speed down the slope
To the Slough of Depraved
And Substance Enslaved,
Like that slime ball from Mena and Hope.
--- John Miller
Just an eighth for fifteen quid cash.
Though I've not taken before,
I'm told good vibes in store;
I think I might give it a bash.
--- Anon
As to where she's growing her pot.
See, mixed with my cum,
Stuck deep in her bum,
Is her crap ... man. Weed it is NOT!
It's obvious to me that they're
Smoking a lot,
And it must be pot.
I know that the joint chiefs are there.
--- Al Willis P9509
Puts its user right down on his ass.
Though my mind is set,
They deserve what they get,
When they should have simply said "Pass!"
--- Chris Papa
Have bladders that're much prone to bleed.
Though they feel spaced out,
There's cancer about,
Something that none of them need.
--- Chris Papa
Produces behavior even odder.
For Grace's mudder
Offered as udder,
Under influence was a plodder.
--- Chris Papa
They discovered the place that I stow
My three Kilo's of pot.
They never forgot
The capacity of my asshole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would stop hiding their stashes and say:
"I smoke up and its fun;
It won't hurt anyone;
So legalize pot right away!"
--- Michelle
We found that pot was his answer,
To help him eat
And staying upbeat;
An all around life enhancer.
--- aNON