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There was a young laundress named Springer There once was a fellow named Whipple, The rest of the story is fate. For they said, "She's disabled for sure, So they paid for her surgery there A distraught young punkette named Pat, While shopping for mannequins, Fritz, A lady whose name is Tirelli, Her breast augmentation from 'A' When a customer took a quick nip Now I don't want to sound la de dar, You must keep your titties bra-bound, The intern behind oval desk A sadistic young fellow named Fritz My sister and I, we had fights The taps look like wieners -- it's true! A certain young lady, Ms Glitz, At Christmas, the globes on my chest 'Round the tree we will all take our place, At a night club named Hooters in Tempe, Her ex drew no buildings or trees, There once was a gorgeous young girl, At a nudist camp, sweet little Lillian, Oft times my sweet gal, Marylou, A malicious young maiden from Spitz A young woman, once, feeling quite mellow, The nipples of Mary from Hamilton, A vain Jewish girl named Veronica A young woman was really in need; A stitcher was once heard to scream, Good loving is almost as fun, A maiden who dwells in Galena, (poitrine - breast plate)
A clitoral type from St. Cloud A gaudy young girl of Pomona There once was a hussy so brazen, A young buxom lass from old Spain, The thing about really big knockers, She stepped on the train unaware A birdwatcher, Michael O'Leary, "Through the doors of the ladies restroom, A woman in strapless attire, The law says I can't go bare-breasted. I like boobs as loose as a slip; A charming young maid from Don Mills A buxom young lady of Bude A youngster, each Sunday, in church On TV the buxom Miss Bright Her bra is filled up with her pups; I can top that: in New York City The Japanese gals have a custom The reverend thought they looked frightful. The courts can not always be trusted, (Case in Harrison, Arkansas, Judge William B Larkin)
Prosecution's attack was quite glowing, The judge said, "I order you, wench, "The complainant's from a video store, The bailiff said, "Hear ye, now harken, To take their milk bath, two old biddies The waitress made so many spills When a student named Ben once was rapping There's a nip in the air, love, tonight. The excitement produced by Miss Whipple, A woman named Tammy Louise Was chatting with Charlie last night, His poor stomach got so damn queasy Said the tits to that lusty guy, Enos, Love to feel the wind in my hair, On Wednesday the Seattlite
Who went on to become a singer.
She acquired her range
In a manner most strange,
When she caught both her tits in the wringer.
--- MrMalo
Who'd always had only one nipple.
On his honeymoon night,
His bride cried out in fright,
"God help me! I married a cripple!"
--- Graham Lester
Their daughter displayed the same trait.
So they moved her by force
To Vegas, of course,
Where she got lots of help from the state.
--- Graham Lester
And it's clear that her prospects are poor,
For the kind of display
That makes bucks down our way.
She's entitled to at least one more.
--- Graham Lester
And at last she is blessed with a pair.
And the one from her op
Can spin round like a top;
A display both rewarding and rare.
--- Graham Lester
Said, "Now what do you think of that?
I pierced tongue and ear,
And was of good cheer,
Till a puncture cause my boobs to go flat."
--- Vertech Limerick Contest
Found a beauty that tickled his wits.
But unfortunately,
When he checked he did see
Someone slobbered all over her tits.
--- Al Chaplin P0302
Has tits made of dynamite jelly.
If you take on this dare,
You must fondle with care.
(The detonator's south of her belly.)
--- Anon
To size 'F' was a windfall, they say.
When things leaked, her friends chided,
And soon she decided,
Give her ten mill and flat is OK.
--- Ann Gasser P9503
From a waitress's hovering pip,
She cried out in dismay,
"I most fervently pray
That you're planning on leaving the tip!"
--- Goldie Tusselman P8302
But I have more problem by far.
TWO protuding titties
And all of their bitties,
Get quite tangled up in my bra.
--- Anon
Since they are so huge, full and round;
A minor cup tangle
Will surely not mangle
As bad as when boobs drag the ground.
--- Anon
Was zaftig, though not BUNYANESQUE.
Though her modest bust
Provoked Willy's lust,
What he did with cigar was grotesque.
--- Chris Papa
Was fond of biting girls' tits.
With a snap and a growl
He would make them all howl --
The younger ones sometimes had fits.
--- G2345
With contractors concerning rights
To pick ceiling fixtures
And one of our strictures:
We don't want those dumb boobie lights.
--- Marlene Lewis
Now maybe they don't look like you,
'Cause they're rather small
And never stand tall,
And probably can't do what you do.
--- Marlene Lewis
Decided to bronz both her tits.
Told they'd clang when she'd bang,
She said "SHITZ!"
Next week I'm gilding my clitz.
--- Anon
Flash colors to signal the rest
Of my sisters in arms,
That all of our charms
Are ready to be put to the test.
--- Wuzzums
Hanging garlands of panties and lace.
And painting our titties
Red, green, oh so pretty,
With smiles all aglow on our face.
--- Wuzzums
I met a Canadian MP.
He was there to observe
If the lassies that serve
Make their T-shirts keep time with the tempi.
--- John E Mayhood P9805
Just buxom nudes if you please.
He left in a huff,
Took his clothes and his stuff,
But left behind many mammaries.
--- Greg Schindler P8903
Who kept the men's heads in a whirl.
Her long pubic hair,
Was resilient and fair,
And her nipples were mother-of-pearl.
--- Isaac Asimov
Was slated to lead the cotillion.
This made her so proud,
That to shine in the crowd,
She painted her nipples vermillion.
--- Isaac Asimov
Will color her boobies bright blue.
Though clever with paint,
An artist she ain't;
The damn things still hang quite untrue!
--- Anon
Scared our parson half out of his wits.
When he dropped in to call,
She appeared in the hall
With eyes painted on both her big tits.
--- G2516
Had said to her very best fellow,
"I'd strip for you, dear,
All the way down to here,
But I've painted my mammaries yellow."
--- Isaac Asimov
Can bring death with its razor-blade tassle on.
When she twirls those propellers,
Hypnotizing the fellers,
If they kiss 'em, then half of their lips are gone.
--- Robert Elliot
Requested fine jewelry for Hanukkah:
Her dad ruled out rubies
To garnish her boobies,
But okayed a rhinestoned harmonica.
--- Armand E Singer 633
Some fool taught her husband to read.
So with 'Bag Balm' in hand,
He's taken a stand,
To make her the directions heed.
--- Anon
"I'll never buy more udder cream."
"Put it on udder and teat,"
Hubby said, "This is neat!"
As he chased, in his eye was a gleam!
--- Anon
As stitching a bird or a sun,
And it's really quite rare,
So take up this dare:
Let your man soothe your boobs and be done.
--- Anon
Has bubbies of graceful demeanor,
And whenever she preens,
Those astounding poitrines,
She insists upon Simonize Kleener.
--- L1606
Wrapped both of her tits in a shroud,
But left her whole middle
As bare as a fiddle,
Which made her stand out in a crowd.
--- Armand E Singer 201
This is file phm
Does her act in a sexy kimono;
She tastefully ripples
Her tumescent nipples,
With lipstick all 'round the corona.
--- Keith MacMillan 103b
On each breast, a bulls-eye she'd blazon.
A lusty outsider
With mercurochrome dyed her;
And she shriveled up like a raisin.
--- M Nelson
Started to adjust her bra in vain.
Could he see them some day,
A guy asked in a polite way.
"Any old time," she said, "after I am slain."
--- Rohinton Wadia
Cheap newspapers use them as shockers.
Then old men, my age,
Get a sexual rage,
So then we must take Beta Blockers.
--- Tony Burrell
That her blouse was unbuttoned, poor Claire.
Now, commuters don't shout,
So we sat and said nowt,
And just stared at her bountiful pair.
--- Peter Wilkins
Said, "I'll watch till my eyes become bleary.
Then next door a canary
With a bounteous dairy,
Delights me at nights till I'm weary."
--- Grand Prix Lim 236
You peeked at this lady's bazoom."
"Judge, she held the door open;
Ah din do no gropin'"
The judge said, "Get out mah COATROOM!"
--- Al Willis
Found her breasts working higher and higher.
A guest with great feeling,
Exclaimed, "How appealing!
Do you mind if I piss in the fire?"
--- L0669
Why are a gal's boobs so detested?
I hate doing laundry,
So here is my quandary:
To wash my clothes or get arrested...
--- Anon
Even when they're used as a whip!
And when you're on top,
I don't have to stop
And stretch my poor neck to kiss nip.
--- H Welchel
Used to walk about naked for thrills.
Said the vicar, I blush
When I look at her brush
But will lift up mine eyes to the hills.
--- Hugh Oliver 62b
Said, "Men are exceedingly rude.
When I bathe in the sea,
They all follow me,
To see if my bosoms protrude."
--- Prof
On the balcony's edge, made his perch.
And for women below
Wearing blouses cut low
During Mass, he'd religiously search.
--- Cap'n Bean P9812
Displayed too much bosom last night.
It was called abomination
By the Bush administration,
Deex proclaimed it a HISTORIC sight!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
They're all hers and not fake blow-ups.
I live for the sight;
I'm drunk with delight,
When she's the one not in her cups.
--- Archie
As I witnessed a cute little bitty,
Way down the alley
Upon a big phally,
And even showed me some titty.
--- Anon
Of baring their titties to thrust 'em
Inside of brown sacks,
Then pop 'em with smacks,
To show all the men, they can bust 'em.
--- Travis Brasell
(His assistant thought them delightful)
Tits bare to the breeze,
Schlongs down to their knees,
Their outlook on life was insightful.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In matters of tits being lusted.
But this gal got a break
For there was no mistake;
It was clear she'd been already busted.
--- Bob Birch P9902
Defense felt her case he was blowing.
So he said to his client,
Who was being compliant,
"You might win if your nipples are showing."
--- Bob Birch P9902
To approach and stand here by the bench.
If those boobs are for real,
Then your case I'll appeal,
But do something about that foul stench.
--- Bob Birch P9902
And says you seem prone to ignore
Their repeated requests...
(God, look at those breasts.
I wonder if she'll show me more?)
--- Bob Birch P9902
Here comes Justice William B Larkin,"
And in old Arkansaw
What the Judge Larkin saw
Would get your old coon dog a barkin'.
--- Bob Birch P9902
Took gallons away from the kiddies.
"Want the milk Pasteurized?"
They were asked, they replied,
"Oh no, Sir, just up to our titties."
--- John Dohner P8712a
As she bent to clean, she gave chills.
Diners say her valley
And right up her alley,
And almost got lost in the hills.
--- Shelley
On his reason for bra-strap unsnapping,
He explained he'd a yen
From his study of Zen
For the sound of one mammary flapping.
--- Anon
And that's really some pair, love. You're right.
One is showing the cold
With a nipple quite bold,
But the left one is fairly uptight.
--- Shakespeares Bro T9710
Was very much more that a ripple.
She was covered with clothes,
From her head to her toes,
Save for delicate holes at each nipple.
--- Isaac Asimov
Was a very provocative tease.
In her blouses, so sheer,
When the view became clear,
Her nipples got hard from the breeze.
--- Cap'n Bean
And I treated him to the sight
Of me, sans my shirt.
I just meant to flirt,
But I gave him such a bad fright!
--- Anon
And he told me that I was sleazy.
He liked it so much,
He wanted to touch
And his breathing got kind of wheezy.
--- Anon
"I hope you'll do naught to demean us.
We might be induced,
Or even seduced.
In the meantime, put nothing between us."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Driving fast, but goin' nowhere
On my motorbike;
And sometimes I like
To feel sunshine on my bosoms bare!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Southbound on I-5 got a sight.
On a power pole there,
With her chest very bare,
Was a fire breathing transexual-ite.
--- Anon
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