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A girl who barely had tits, "Are those bountiful mammaries real?" A penniless co-ed named Horning A large-breasted girl danced the waltz, A myopic, but amorous rake Whilst swimming at length in the lake, A young girl who barely had tits, Now look here, I'm a reasonable chap; A stripper with fiberglass tits There was a young lady of Skye, In grandmother's day, in the waltz, There was a young lady of Lynn, Of his lady, he was quite enchanted; Breast implants will one day, I hope, Madonna's great bosom expanse "You like them?" said slutty Madonna, The boobs on Mae Blount were a sight, Leanne hadn't driven too far, Leanne had the silicone op (operation) There was a young man named Fritz, I once met a woman abroad, I was bored with the size of my tits, Let's celebrate the day of your breasts, While I, with my usual enthusiasm, So small is her bosom, Miss Morgan, It grieved poor Matilda like heck to be There was a young lady named Cilla, Do you know why Joe seems so furious? Today's women are close to perfection; Oh! The truth makes us titwatchers groan, Some gals have silicone glands Now girlies, with bust small or big'll, Some ladies have melon-sized titties; This fashion of self mutilation I'd have to be down on my luck If, when gasping for breath in the Bay, The falsies that once enhanced Hester She padded her expenses without fear; There was a young woman named Frances, Our gal Sal thinks her boobs are fantastic One gal that I knew felt bereft, There was a young lady named Clair, While snorkeling under the seas, ...detached from the front of her chest Ms Pamela Anderson Lee Don't ask me to tell you again I bought a fine gift for sweet Sally, There once was a sailor named Rock A pert little lady, Leoni, A large-breasted girl danced the waltz, The neighbor, a flirt name of Burt, A pimple-tit floosie from Groton Some people are totally right; Do you really mean to suggest Will I test your orb? Of course, Jayne, That indeterminate strange hue; Mastectomy victim Maude Fritz, A petite young lady named Marge, A wife, with not quite perfect bod, This story concerns Mrs. Schmaltz, Said a new young mother named Whipples, I was given a bottle at birth, And left me profoundly obsessed I once imbibed milk at O'Fallon's The dairy bar waitress named Mary When asked what's my favourite tipple,
Got by by just using her wits.
The bras she had gotten,
She filled up with cotton
And for nipples, she used cherry pits.
--- Sylvia Honig
"Of course," she said, "Give them a feel!"
He did and discovered
Each titty was blubbered
With five pound of ground beef and veal!
--- Writerman
Was forced into video porning.
Her promotion -- while bare --
Of her silicone ware
Soon earned her a grant from Dow Corning.
--- Alex Heydon P0409
While I sat and enjoyed several malts.
My eyes were a-popping,
Till her boobs started dropping;
It turns out her large breasts were false.
--- Travis Brasell
Found his paramour's bodice was fake.
He peered at her face,
Then exclaimed, "In that case,
I have made a most dreadful mistake."
--- Beelzebub
The English girl cried "Heavens sake!
I've lost my swimsuit!
It's coiled round my foot!
They'll all see that my tits are fake!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Just nipples no bigger than zits,
Got really flat-busted
'Cause the falsies she trusted,
Fell out, and then she had fits.
--- Sylvia Honig
I'd have sat through a weeks' worth of yap,
Just to feel those tits...ahhhhh.
But when I undid her bra,
Her big boobs fell off in my lap!
--- Anon
Said, "The sure addle customer's wits,
But I needed a pair
For the pair I had there
Were nothing but itty tit bits.
--- Grand Prix Lim 362 P9801
With a shape like a capital "I".
She said, "It's too bad!
But then, I can pad,"
Which shows you that figures can lie.
--- Ethel W Mumford P8311
You could tell if girls' bosoms were false.
Nowadays top and bottom
Are padded with cotton,
With foam-rubber falsies for faults.
--- G2230
Who was nothing but bones except skin.
So she wore a false bust,
In the likewise false trust
That she looked like a lady of sin.
--- W S Baring-Gold
Of her good points, he frequently ranted.
But of many God's gifts,
Were her wonderful tits,
But really, they were only implanted.
--- Anon
Be natural, real in their scope;
Fake boobs now, by far,
Look like they both are
Two halves of a hard cantaloupe.
--- Travis
Caused bulging in new hubby's pants.
Removing her bra,
He stood there in awe
Of her silly cone breast implants.
--- Gary Hallock
"Then take a test drive if you wanna."
The neighbors heard groans
As he knocked over cones,
A course not unlike a gymkhana.
--- Gary Hallock
And the way they stuck out was a fright.
All the boys said, "Ho, Ho!
But the boys didn't know
She put her tits in the drawer at night.
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807 a
When her bosoms popped out of her bra.
They wobbled, pulsated;
Then Whoosh! they inflated,
Like air-bags inside of her car.
--- Anon
And flew to Miami by hop.
On route they inflated;
The op she then hated;
Because both the damn things went POP!
--- Anon
Who had a preoccupation with tits.
What he thought was firm fullsome
Turned out to be bullsome.
Said Fritz, "Ain't it the shits!"
--- Anon
Who had a magnificent bod.
But her perfect chest
Left me quite distressed
When I learned it was just a facade.
--- Observer
So I thought I'd just add a few bits.
Though they're bigger, it's true,
And my nipples turned blue,
They sure take your mind off my zits.
--- Roberta J Stewart
On which my drooling face can rest.
As I admire your two nipples,
Just pass me the Ripple,
To toast the "A" to "C" cup, no less.
--- Child of the Universe
Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
She explained, "They are flat,
But think nothing of that--
You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm.
--- L0159
When using her mid-body organ,
With naught there for pawing,
Will let them start gnawing
Her falsie constructed of sorghum.
--- Irving Superior P8303
Receiving a double mastectomy.
She fitted a pair
Of wood tits so rare,
But for woodworm, she has to inspectomy.
--- Anon
Who thought that nothing would fill 'er;
To make herself plumper,
She stuffed up her jumper
Two melons wrapped up in a pillow.
--- Anon
He'd been treated in a manner injurious.
He was set for a lark
With a girl in the dark,
And then found her breastworks were spurious.
--- Isaac Asimov
Some claim there's a Darwin connection.
Bosom volume increased
Two sizes at least;
It's prosthetics, not natural selection.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
For that lush-breasted gal in Athlone,
Whose bust looked unmatchable
But both proved detatchable;
The dear had no teats of her own.
--- G0349
Which feel mighty good in one's hands.
With contours real swell,
And so hard to tell,
They won't fill the baby's demands.
--- Chris Papa
When topless, give fellow a giggle.
But those siliconey
Are something quite phoney.
They don't have the same kind of jiggle.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And some more like grapes--that's a pity;
But those made of plastic
As less than fantastic,
And hang wrong, and aren't very pretty.
--- SFA
This is file pem
Is something that's gripping the nation.
If I got my mitts
On silicone tits,
They'd surely deflate my inflation.
--- SFA
Before plastic boobs would I suck.
And no phallic rips
Between botox lips;
Those buggers could nip what I tuck.
--- SFA
I were reached by Pamela A.,
I'd be scared out my wits
By those oversized tits--
But as bouyancy aids, they're okay.
--- Jester Jon
Were swiped by a midnight molester.
"Where they are," we wonder
And their loss has stunned her,
For our Hester is now a flat-chester...
--- Grand Prix Lim 897
Her boss cared not; he liked her near.
'Till one night by chance
While seeking romance,
He found she did the same to her brassiere
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
Who decided to better her chances,
By cleverly adding
Appropriate padding,
To enlarge all her protuberances.
--- Isaac Asimov
And her fanny an eye-catching classic.
But the cleavage of Sally
Is a silicone valley,
And her gluteus maximus, plastic.
--- William N Nesbit P0001
When her massive tits with much heft,
Fell down to the floor,
Then rolled out the door,
And she with a flat chest was left.
--- Anon
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn and begin losing air.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerA
I spotted what seemed to be knees
With nipples. But lo;
It was only young Jo-
sephine's silicone 44 D's.
--- Peter Wilkins
And bouncing around on the crest
Of the waves in the ocean,
In vertical motion...
No wonder she looked so depressed.
--- Peter Wilkins
Is a babe who's as big as can be.
Her silicone valley
Is where I would dally,
If I had a home by the sea.
--- CeeJay
How I manage to get all these men:
Using powder and paint,
I become what I ain't-
And the silicone makes me a Ten!
--- Norm Storer P0012
The slut that I boff in the alley.
Her DD tits enfold
My small locket of gold;
It lays there in silicone valley.
--- Anon
Who was fooled by a girl on the dock.
She misled the old tar
With socks in her bra,
But he had a sock in his jock.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
Had tits so incredibly phony,
If she jiggled too often,
They started to soften,
Like two scoops of fresh mascarpone.
--- Mr E
While I sat and enjoyed sev'ral malts.
My eyes were a poppin'
'Til boobs started droppin'
It turns out her large breasts were false!
--- Anon
Called out, "Hey, Babe! Your boobs are pert!"
She flipped him the bird
And said, "Ain't you heard?
There's falsies stuffed under my shirt!"
--- Anon
Stuffed both of her boobies with cotton;
Quite awesome at first,
Until the cloth burst:
The silk in her bra was plumb rotten.
--- Armand Singer
Pam Anderson Lee is a fright.
She is such a bitch,
A skank and a skitch,
Whose silicone pops out at night.
--- Crispy
That the one called Jayne King has no chest?
That curvey young broad
Is naught but a fraud?
Well, come put my orbs to the test.
--- Jayne King
But which ones, you did not make plain.
Those orbs of great size
Or did you mean your eyes,
Which I've just noticed and are gray'n'.
--- Archie
Not green, nor yet grey, but on you
The mix I'm not minding.
It is spellbinding.
One more thing to fixate and view!
--- Archie
Whose love life went down to the pits,
Prayed long and prayed hard
To Santa and God:
"For Christmas two silicone tits."
--- Armand E Singer 356
Said to the doc, "Make them large!"
The looks she then got
Were all bothered and hot,
And well worth the bucks she was charged.
--- Jim Hill
Was eagerly given the nod
For large breast implant.
Said husband, "I can't
Envision this as a facade!"
--- Anon
Who shouldn't twirl fast in a waltz.
Whenever she does,
The room's soon abuzz;
Her titties pull loose, 'cause they're false.
--- Armand E Singer 760
"My brow's fraught with wrinkles and ripples.
I sense that I'm needing
To cancel breast feeding --
It hurts so when boiling the nipples!"
--- Anon
Which to some, might occasion their mirth;
But in truth it's the shits.
Being deprived of Mom's tits,
Has fostered diminished self worth.
--- Steve Andersen P0001
Devoting my life to the quest
Of a nipple to kiss
Which is more than just bliss
While I nuzzle and fondle the breast
--- Steve Andersen P0001
Bordello from whores whose long talons
Would puncture the plugs
Upon their huge jugs,
And out flooded milk by the gallons!
--- Anon
Was all out of milk for young Harry.
So she stripped her brassiere
And said, "Harry, come here,
You can get it direct from the dairy."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1278
I have to admit it's the nipple.
Lactiferous cum
Just glides to my tum,
With never a splash or a ripple.
--- Anon
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