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Rigoletto has fun with seduction "Jokanaan," young Salome said, A man who no nuance did know, At a Straussian Gala -- Row B (me), When Sampson appeared at the feast, As a musical dream, "Scherazade", A new opera's titled "Sonia," Soprano, who title role plays There's no sadness in Sorrento. For an opera singer named Otto, No, the Barcarolle isn't for me, The good monk said, "I'll save your soul, cookie." For this will be a jolly court, for little and for big! tollolish!
A TROUBADOUR named Nanki-Poo, Nanki-Poo, as the rascal was known A diva once, meeting Corelli, Baron Scarpia, seeking to bribe her, There are people addicted to Tosca; A Tosca who jumped from a height, The trajectory, graceful not crude, Little Miles, just a schoolboy it's true, The symphony crescendo dies. The contralto was pretty and plump; Pirate Zampa, an infamous clown, How the Rhinemaiden's treasure became a ring: Part two of the Ring of the Nib'ling: "There's one opera which I don't care Why did Brunhilda cry "Ho-jo-to-ho!"? Here at last is the End: Gotterdammerung; The ethereal sounds of the Ring Though its length made it strangely improper, a Wotan hated incest. "Announcers like German in part -- The hero is a tenor who's helden Siegfried, when he finally returned, After Tannhauser's little affair In England you'll get histrionics; The first time I saw Wagner's Ring, Said Tristan to lovely Isolde, Lets talk of Tristan and Isolde, Said Isolde to Tristan, "How curious, Richard Wagner is peace here reposing An opera buffa, she frowns (apologies to Mark Twain)
Though Herr Wagner was no longer young, (cullions - testes)
A keen Wagner fan is our Goeff, A sharp old musician named Pratt, There was an old Welshman named Morgan, The Dutch organist Pieter de Witt (chaconnes - an old Spanish dance in 3/4 time)
Our organist (some thought unscrewed) An accordian player named Lunt A musical fellow was Shrife Cecilia, from Chandler's Ford, There was a young fellow named Larch It isn't a noise that you hear, A young ballerina from Crete, A young man from South Chesapeake It was June, and Miss Toon, in a swoon, There was a musician Calhoun A fine organist, famed in Verona, I said to my girlfriend called Heather, Princeton Music Department was men, A well-hung musician was Kropps; A sailor retired from the Gorgon, A young Irish girl from Stilorgan There was a young girl called Felicity, Roses on the piano look smashing,
Till his daughter's undone through abduction;
They he lays for the Duke,
But it's heaven's rebuke
That the baggage gets bagged in the ruction.
--- C Webster Wheelock P8602
"I long for your body in bed."
But although she insisted,
The prophet resisted,
So that all that she got was his head.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
During Salome, got up to go.
When asked, "Dare you flee?"
Grumped "It's all Grieg to me --
I just came for the veils with Velcro!"
--- Anon
Under Salome's veils -- no bikini!
A peculiar discomfort,
Bumped me, not from the trumpet,
But behind, from a nervous Row C knee.
--- Anon
Saint-Saens had him call her a beast,
And complain that his wife,
When she wielded the knife,
Might have left him his sideburns, at least.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
Conjures up a beautiful bod.
But though she is luscious,
While the orchestra gushes,
You'll wake up to find it's a fraud.
--- Neal Wilgus P8302
Whose heroine dies of pneumonia,
While tenor survives
To recall their lives,
Sex, pot, AIDS, EUDEMONIA.
--- Chris Papa
In at 250 pounds weighs.
Which stretches our view
Of what such folks do,
Even in their most halcyon days.
--- Chris Papa
That's the song the residents know.
In SORRENTO -- all they play,
In SORRENTO -- night and day.
Few apartments there for rent though.
--- Irving Superior
"Detached and abrupt" was his motto;
His notes were all sliced,
Disjointed and spliced;
His performance was purely staccato.
--- Cap'n Bean P0604
At least not as far as I see.
While some have a devotion
To its smooth rowing motion,
When I hear it, I think, 'Broccoli.'
--- L C Fitzhugh P0111
But Thais says, "Come sleep with me, rookie."
So that he, to his cost,
Though he saves her, is lost,
And can now think of nothing but nooky.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
From morn to night our lives shall be as merry as a grig!
All state and ceremony we'll eternally abolish --
We don't mean to insist on unecessary polish --
And, on the whole, I rather think you'll find our rule
--- W S Gilbert
A creation of Gilbert and you-know-who.
Dressed in shreds and patches;
His matrimonial matches
Came to the awkward number of two.
--- Norm Brust
'Til TROUBADOUR cover was blown,
Paraded through town
In a tattered gown,
Disguised as a second trombone.
--- Chris Papa
Sang Floria flat on her belly.
Her version of Tosca
Would win her an Osca'
If only it got on the telly.
--- Bob Seigler
Finds in Tosca a diva with fiber:
For his lecherous heat
She'll fillet him like meat,
Lose her lover, then leap in the Tiber.
--- C Webster Wheelock P8602
Well, there's Nigel and Clifford and Oscar
And a cheerful old sport
Who sent in this report:
"John Cole, Bay Bay Seer, Moddogoscar."
--- Kevin Hale Q
Bouncing back, was a breathtaking sight.
Her rival, when hired,
From a cannon was fired;
Quite a BOOM, since the fit was so tight.
--- Anon
Created a scandalous mood.
'Twas the sight of those bloomers
That started the rumors:
Her replacement is singing it nude!
--- Anon
Of the sex act knows one thing or two.
But the governess, jealous,
James and Britten both tell us,
Does not ever get her turn to screw.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
A voice is hear, "...like mine with fries!"
The patrons of the arts
Who commit verbal farts,
Don't always eat wearing white ties.
--- Marlene
William Tell quickly wanted to hump;
When the overture played
On the charms of the maid:
Titty Rump, Titty Rump, Titty Rump Rump Rump.
--- Ed Potts P8602a
Seduced women in town after town,
Till a statue of Alice --
He'd betrayed her with malice --
Tossed him into the ocean to drown.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
Noisy dwarves at their anvils a-hammering:
This is Alberic's Curse;
It can only get worse:
Three more operas and then -- Gotterdammerung!
--- Steve Brown P8802
Five hours of high-volume quibbling
By Fricka and Wotan
Whose daughters emote on
While Siegmund makes time with his sibling.
--- Steve Brown P8802
To name when my mother is there,"
Wagner said to the king.
"It's the fourth of the Ring,
For she always says, Richard, don't swear!"
--- Attic Salt P0407
Do you have to ask. Didn't you know?
'Twas not in delight,
Rather more pain and fright;
Her horse, Crane had trod on her toe.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8602
Let us marvel at Brunnhilda's leather lung:
Though our eardrums are numb
And Valhalla is crumb-
ling, she won't quit till the last bar Goddamn is sung.
--- Steve Brown P8802
By Wagner, is surely the thing
To pamper your ear,
But with brain on, you hear
Of incest and sodomy they sing.
--- Danube
Composer's one work was a whopper! A
Feast set before us
Through ten acts with chorus,
This singular opus an opera.
--- Laurence Perrine P8602
But Brunnhilde thought it was best,
For Sieglinde to go
Have her child, even though
It put the wrath of her father to test.
--- Tom Hamilton
'Die Valkuere', for instance," said Bart.
"They're complacently bold
When they say Das Rheingold,
But for Siegfried, they translate Rhinefahrt."
--- A N Wilkins P8602
This is file osl
(In the language that Wagner is yelled in);
His speech is Teutonic,
His behavior moronic,
And his favorite pastime's sword-weldin'.
--- Steve Brown P8802
Caused Brunhilde a lot of concern.
He was clearly a hero
To whom love was a zero,
And she knew that she'd likely be burned.
--- A N Wilkins P8602
With the Venusberg vamp in her lair,
He relinquishes swinging --
And competitive singing --
For a pilgrim's attire made of hair.
--- C Webster Wheelock P8602
In Holland you'll see hydroponics;
In Berlin and Vienna
Without an antenna,
You'll hear twelve-tone Teutonic harmonics.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
How I prayed that the fat lady'd sing.
This would mean it was over;
I could go home to Rover.
The Ring is a terrible thing.
--- Bill Wall
"Why, darling, your lips are so cold!
Perhaps, ere we drank
From that love potion tank-
ard, we ought to've skimmed off the mold..."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8602
An opera for young and for old.
Some folks in Seattle
Got caught in a battle;
Now unions say give us the gold!
--- Pat Finely
Old Mark is becoming quite furious.
Since we got off that boat,
It's been all Liebestod.
Is it possible Wagner is spurious?"
--- Conrad Aiken
Spent more than four decades composing.
Though still Germany's pride,
Since the day that he died,
The master has been decomposing.
--- A N Wilkins P8702
'Cause Betty just hates all those clowns.
Now Wagner she likes,
As do most all dykes;
"He's just not as bad as he sounds!"
--- Chris Kirchner
His cullions were hardly well-hung.
Seems he'd emptied his bladder
While poised on a ladder,
And slipped off the Gotterdammerung!
--- Kathleen A Martin P8311
Especially when played triple f;
"Some folks find this hellish",
Says Goeff, "But I relish
The noise, as I'm almost stone deaf."
--- Ron Rubin
Had a staff that was breve but fat.
Though he owned a chateau,
He felt obbligato,
To bugger his boy in A-flat.
--- Anon
Who had a magnificent organ.
Said his wife, "You are blessed
With one of the best
Hammond organs in all of Glamorgan."
--- Ron Rubin
Was employed by the Bishop of Split.
Piet's chaconnes were just fine,
And his preludes divine,
But his fugues dribbled on like warm spit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Liked to play by himself in the nude.
He would finger his part
With a consumate art
To its cimax in beatitude.
--- Laurence Perrine P8302
Liked to play with his hands back to front.
This cause some dismay
Amongst the au fait,
But the crowd shouted: "Wow -- what a stunt!"
--- Ron Rubin
Who played on the organ and fife.
At age forty-nine
On his fife he played fine,
But his organ lacked luster and life.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2299
Found music was what she adored,
She'd go with Taff Morgan
And play with his organ,
While trying to find the lost chord.
--- Anon
Who learned to make love to a march.
But it has been observed
That this style is reserved
For the men who have plenty of starch.
--- Albin Chaplin
But Music, harmonic and clear.
My breath makes me play
Like an organ, all day;
That bass note is in my left ear.
--- P0211
Offered stagehands all they could eat.
When one asked for a ride,
She reluctantly sighed,
"That would ruin my Nutcracker, Suite."
--- Anon
Could only toy once in a week.
He discarded his chart
And committed to heart
The well-worn 'Minuet a l'Antique'.
--- Albin Chaplin
Met her man by the light of the moon;
And all night, as they played,
Lovely music was made,
For the chap kept his organ in Toon.
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver
Who played on the flute and bassoon.
But most of his life
He had strife with his wife,
Since his organ was way out of tune.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1981
Gave entry to men who would phona.
As most of these stayed,
She concurrently played
On the organs of more than one dona.
--- David A Brooks Q
"I won't go to church in this weather;
There's much to be said
For staying in bed,
And playing our organs together."
--- Michael Horgan
But Teresa wanted to get in.
He said, "You've no voice,
So here is your choice:
Skin flute, hanging sax, or organ!"
--- Uncle Jack
On a scale one to ten, he was tops.
When his tool came in view,
Said his girl, "Let us screw;
What an organ -- please pull out the stops!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2990
Met a sweet church musician, Miss Morgan;
They were wed, then and there,
And folks heard her declare:
"Now I'll play with my favorite organ."
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
Had a Welsh music master named Morgan.
She played with his flute,
And he taught her the lute,
But what she liked best was his organ!
--- John Vinson
Who had quite a flair for publicity;
She'd play a Bach fugue
On the synth or the Moog;
"To Hell with," she said, "authenticity!"
--- Ron Rubin
As on to the ivories I'm dashing.
In the key of F,
I tickle the clef,
Then its tulips on the organ I'm lashing.
--- Anon
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