MORE
For rock stars I'd not give a toss; A madcap punk rocker called Bostock In Basin Street they do not know. Any tune that you like, I can hum. Rock and Roll ain't, like harmonic; A jazzman who went out to Italy Today is the birthday I see, I love to hear Joe play the blues, Give me a snare drum to drum, Although Maisie ate like a pig, A back up singer named Mavis Since Monogamous Three looked like fun, A band of punk rockers called "Camelot", There was an old Jazzman called Wood, A pop singer who features the blues, A young active dancer named Clive A retired jazz musician named Joe A senile musician named James I went to a bar on the strand "My Bonny lies over the ocean" - A piccolo player called Armit Just a few little things to avoid: A keen jazz musician called Mallory A gifted young cat from the Bronx, Herr Chancellor Konrad was torn There once was a girl called Tin Lizzie There was a young lady named Hatch, Grandfather decided to RAP The mummy was looking quite dapper There are groups with peculiar names; I gave to my old maiden aunt In the sixties, the Stones sang a tune, The chief Groupie was Marianne; And it seem Jagger's Little Red Rooster, This little old man from Montana, A man from old Tuscaloosa There was a young jazzman called Chet, The big boss of Canardia Discs A trad band from Aix-la-Chapelle Our Cedric, fine music does play, Music today is heretic; Modern "music" just isn't for me. In Britain, "the top of the pops" There was an old drummer named Biggs A rock 'n' roll singer from Tring A pop group that is called Vampire Bats, There is a young lady named Rose, In a South Carolina town of Ashepoo, My fathere leads a musical troop, Let your head-bone relax, and just rest; A brash cantor of old Notre Dame "Who's the guy with the badge, gun, and valise?" An asthmatic young tenor named Steve, There are really few singers a match I'm known as a great baritone; An odd nephew of Hildy von Bingen A blues singer, straight from Trieste, A pair of black loafers, abhorred, A sausage-lipped songster of Steyning "The show must go on. Sing, Marie," Carols are so sad and old hat; A pop singer, Caterwaul Clever, A singer who needed to croon, (sounds like American in Paris with Kelly and Caron)
A Molokan whose shorts were of silk (Molokan - sect of Russian Orthodox)
An ensemble, Monogamous Three (conductus - medievel vocal, up to four part harmony)
A noted young writer of fiction There once was a popular crooner
Likewise models of fashion, all floss.
But it's true what they say,
(I just realized today)
That a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.
--- Anon
Once played in East Germany (Rostock),
Where he smashed his guitar
On a large Commissar:
Now he's mining in far Vladivostok.
--- Ron Rubin
In every honky-tonk I go,
Of folks who play and sing,
I ask a simple thing --
Was Heidi's last name really Ho?
--- Irving Superior P8701
While my fingers gently strum,
A soft lullaby,
To hard rock, oh my,
Now you're humming and I'm going to come!
--- Anon
To teens it is mainly a tonic.
We know that it's loud;
It attracts a large crowd.
We know for a fact that it's sonic.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Reviewed his career somewhat bitterly:
"Those cats out in Tuscanny,"
He said, "just can't busk any,
But they do play their folksongs quite prettily."
--- Ron Rubin
For Rock and Roll star Jerry Lee.
He's now 68,
But has he still great
Balls of fire, or was that just VD.
--- Tiddy Ogg
His technique says it all, and behooves
Any newbie sax player
To kneel down in prayer,
Vainly trying to learn all Joe's grooves.
--- Ystap
Or a nice banjo to strum.
Give me a flute,
Upon which to toot,
Or just give me a tune I can hum.
--- William K Alsop Jr
And thus was far more than a twig,
She went off on tour
As the Rolling Stones' whore,
To a Mick Jagger jig-a-jig gig.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Thought, "Let the music save us."
Just so he'd know,
She told her new beau
"For my love you'd walk miles, Davis."
--- Anon
Said my friend: "Let's go do like they've done --
As Anomalous Two,
Jazz organum we'll do;
I'll rap chants as Monophonous One."
--- Jonathan Gilbert
Had horrible taste but would jam a lot.
Now they'd drink and snort coke
And most died from a stroke;
The sober survivor said, "damn!" a lot.
--- Armand Singer
Whose playing was no bloody good;
He idolized Louis,
But his 'Cornet Chop Suey'
Was much more like 'Trumpet Rice Pud'.
--- Ron Rubin
Collapsed when he heard the bad news.
He had slipped down the charts;
He no longer broke hearts;
He felt he had blown his main fuse!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Attempted to reintroduce jive.
The girls that he'd ask
Were not up to the task,
They proved to be hard to revive.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Said his long life had always been go.
Now that he's had his chips,
His worn out "hot lips",
Are both pursed up with nothing to blow.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Played a gig for the old folks in Thames.
Since my dong is a rope,
Thought James, I just hope
I'll be able to gum all the dames.
--- Johnny Payphone
To hear my friend's naturist band.
They're gorgeous brunettes
And they finished their set
To the sound of one clapping hand.
--- Anon
Around here that's a popular notion.
Yet most would choose "in"
Over "over" therein
Or "the Jordan" instead of "the ocean".
--- Anon
Who bought a pet snake, tried to charm it.
It couldn't resist
Count Basie and Liszt,
But Stockhausen seemed to alarm it.
--- Ron Rubin
An elephant, when it's annoyed;
Any thug who shouts Oi!
Or a horse made in Troy;
The last album or two by Pink Floyd.
--- Anon
Once asked for an increase in salary.
Said the Governor, "No way!
Till you buck up and play
Less bebop and more to the gallery."
--- Ron Rubin
Plays horn in some wild honky-tonks;
Said his boss, "It's a waste
To show any good taste;
Give 'em plenty of growls, squeaks, and honks."
--- Ron Rubin
From the world before punk rock was born.
Bad luck, Adenauer:
You chose the wrong hour.
You missed a rad chance to hear Korn!
--- Rory Ewins
Who said modern tunes made her dizzy.
Imagine her shock
When she first heard punk rock!
Her hair, once so straight, went all frizzy.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Who doted on music by Bach.
She played with her pussy
To "The Faun" by Debussy,
But to ragtime, she just scratched her snatch.
--- L1276
But his singing created a flap.
Gramma lost all her poise
When she heard all that noise,
So she asked him to please shut his trap.
--- Roy Gateley
"Got rich from my music, Old Chapper
'Cause the music that comes
When my bandages hum,
Has made me the world's greatest wrapper!"
--- Anon
To the gigs come the punks and their dames.
Hairs of many hues,
Sandals, sneakers, no shoes;
If there's trouble, it's part of their games.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
A CD of Gregorian Chant.
She said, "Sod those monks.
I prefer to hear hunks."
So she put on some loud Robert Plant.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And panties around them were strewn.
The girls had a pash
For Mick's Jumping Jack Flash,
But usually they just saw Keith Moon.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Faithful she was to her man.
But without her rock star,
She preferred a Mars bar,
In order to get satisfaction.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file opl
Is as active as it ever used ter.
If some pregnant chick
Claims the father is Mick,
I reckon he did more than goosed her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He married a woman named Hannah.
She soon made him quite sick
By her choice in music
She only liked stuff by "Santana."
--- Anon
Thought he could write tunes like Sousa.
His endeavor was bold
And he hit Grammy Gold
With a tune he called "Shake your caboosa."
--- Tomer Shiran
Who launched a progressive octet;
The critics were ecstatic,
But the end was traumatic,
And Chet is six thousand in debt.
--- Ron Rubin
Is a chef's son -- he's one of the Fisks.
So his latest release
Is four ounces of grease
In a slipcase. He likes taking risks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Once went on a short tour of Hell.
They played 'When the Saints',
(Not many complaints)
And met their old agent as well.
--- Ron Rubin
Till the lassies just all melt away.
They tip him with dollars
Tucked in shorts and in collars,
But there's another way they'd like to pay.
--- Carol
The raucous noise quite emetic.
Lyrics not limpid,
Sounds quite insipid;
Decibels loud and frenetic.
--- Chris Papa
From such noise, though, I'll never be free.
A wild discordant crash
Marks such deafening trash,
As the gross din of iniquity.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0102
Means a song that you'll see in the shops,
From London to Tayside,
The number-one A-side
Of singles that haven't been flops.
--- Rory Ewins
Who kept a baboon in his digs;
He taught it 'Take Five'
And how to talk jive
And it carried his drumkit to gigs.
--- Ron Rubin
Was convinced his career would take wing;
But he never quite clicked,
For the public felt tricked
When they found out the fellow could sing.
--- Ron Rubin
On stage used black coats and black hats.
Their stage presentation
Brings forth condemnation,
As they expose themselves to the cool cats!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who has music wherever she goes.
Every hour of the day
At her work, home, and play,
Her walkman keeps her tapping her toes.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
The folks there haven't too much to do.
And so they play
All night and all day
On the zither and the kazoo.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Of ostrich singers with motorbike boots.
With adjustment of leathers
And shaking of feathers,
The squawking is not worth a hoot.
--- Anon
We are bards here; with madness we're blessed.
Many songs we can bleat,
About folks indiscreet,
And preposterous ways they've transgressed!
--- Anon
Was obsessed with the notIon of fame.
"My Viderunt," he cried,
"Is no hit. Though I tried
To be simple, the sucker's arcane."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Asked weekenders at Camp Cares Surcease.
"He reminds me of Bing;
Think he'd join in our sing?"
"Shush," one warned, "He's the ASCAP Police."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9610
At slow tempos, would frequently grieve,
"Though I don't flag or waver
When singing a quaver,
I simply can't hold a whole breve!"
--- Anon
For a baritone cocksman named Hatch,
Who can belt out a song
As he pumps with his dong,
After earlier humming a snatch.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
I grumble and croon on my own.
When my men need to reach me
Imprisoned in Act III:
It's simple; I have a cell phone.
--- Anon
Was convicted on Easter of singin'
Bawdy songs during Mass
And of baring his ass
While the bells in the Sanctus were ringin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was billed as completely undressed.
But the light was so bad
And my eyes were so sad,
That everything had to be guessed.
--- P8302
Are two rappers in total discord--
An inprovement might be
Spell their rap with a "C"--
Their names happen to be Boom and Roared.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Was solemnly bent on attaining.
But he broke all the rules
About managing tools,
And so he broke down in the training.
--- G2521
I whispered. She turned round on me.
"You pervert," she calls,
Grabbed me by the balls...
It was then that I reached that high C!
--- Anon
While singing them, I feel like a prat.
When friends sing out of tune,
Dogs howl at the moon,
And it sounds like you're strangling the cat.
--- Funny Bone
Though stricken by fever would never
Say die. He just groaned
As he madly intoned,
And his fans said, "He's better than ever."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Sang a lofty, celestial tune,
In an indigo sky
So incredibly high,
On a stairway that led to the moon.
--- Cap'n Bean P0609
Sang dank chants, and sad songs of that ilk
During Lent. But he'd still
Grab a nip of the swill
His Ma brewed from cold borscht and fresh milk.
--- Anon
Liked to whistle conductus offkey.
Then they'd grab their kazoos
And transform into blues
Short motets by L'Ecole de Paris.
--- Sue Roessel
Couldn't talk, due to trouble with diction.
But his voice was sublime
When he sang it in rhyme,
And he made all his points with conviction.
--- Don Mulford
Who was anything else but a tuner;
But he crooned once too often,
Now he's snug in his coffin,
And I wish he had landed there sooner.
--- M B Thornton
MORE