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To a Paris bank large semi-trucks At a Greek restaurant as they cooked dinners I once had a checking account Since then I have quite writing checks, Goodbye to pesetas and francs; What with diet fads making the rounds, (Barrings bank dropped a billion in currency exchange)
She worked in a bank at the mall; I don't use the bank ATM; A frog called the bank for a loan. (goddamn Frenchmen)
How much do I have in the bank? J P Morgan with schnozzola nose. There was an old man of Kilkenny, All the money the Bush regime spends If you asked where he normally banked, A loan please? But Lloyd's said, "No thanks." A studious lady convincible My overdraft threatens to be My bank sent a note before dawn A smart clerk with an evil design, Pity the plight of the poor, Said the banker to customer Schmeck, I know a young fellow from Kent If you're rich, but see bankruptcy coming, I went to the Bankruptcy Court. They've listed a couch and a chair; The creditor covets his buck; The Debtor's wife might rat him out, The Court Information Exchange The screen said it's searching for cases, I think that you should pay what's due Oh, what a spot to be in; There was a young teacher named Nash "I can't pay," said the lass, "Not a cent. There was a young girl called Hortense, I once had a great aunt named Maud, We stood at his grave and remembered To pay for the high cost of fuels Are your jewels all 24K? My jewel bag holds a collection His family jewels, I am sure, There once was a boy of Tibet I used to sing on the dole; Won the lottery! So Cindi Sue A man with a headache named Thayer Not once have you tried to refute An angry young housewife from Kent Is it me or the nature of money An abstemious heiress named Best There was a young couple from Grambling, Economist theories expound Yesterday I was off work, ill; When the catalogue arrived through the mail, My checkbook has turned a bright red; If you want to get out of the red, But what if he tells me today No, I think that first she must offer When Hubby's retiring affair, Bad times I'm afraid, m'dear friends. I have not enough cash for the rent; Now there's one that sure caught my eye! For groceries, I went to the store, Oh I'd love to live near Adrigole A beggar, while chanting a psalm, There once was a man they called Chuck, Dear valued customer of mine, It's money you owe us, you see. You're obviously a man who forgets
Delivered male deer, hay, and shucks,
Because their books showed
That a Yank client owed
Their customers three hundred Bucks.
--- Arthur Deex
Arrived sausages, both thins and thinners;
Their books, when they looked,
Showed an agent had booked
A meal with two hundred Berliners. (hoagy-type sandwiches)
--- Arthur Deex
And overdrew the amount.
I had a bad day --
The bank wouldn't pay --
When I learned bouncing checks makes a mount.
--- Robert Grob
But notice the gov' smart alecks
The lesson have spurned.
They still haven't learned
That rubber economy wrecks.
--- Robert Grob
To punts and escudos, no thanks.
I'll miss all the fun
Changing lira at one
Hundred thousand to the penny in banks.
--- Peter Wilkins
It neither shocks nor astounds,
That with proclivitIes
For wild derivities,
That old Barrings did drop a few pounds.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9504
I took her home one day to ball.
The deposit was made
But I was, I'm afraid --
Penal-ized for early withdrawal.
--- Anon
Can't get satisfaction from them.
I just cash my check
In person, by heck.
The young teller there is a gem!
--- Anon
Pat Black really gave him good phone!
The terms she recited
Got him all excited --
Pat really gave that frog a bone.
--- Marlene Lewis
My memory of this is now blank.
I must now presume
That it's up in my room.
I'll shake it and judge by the clank.
--- Al Willis T9801
Big elsewhere? His brain we suppose.
Big bold deals, he'd foresee 'em.
Now his home's a museum --
Sumptuous sanctum enchants friends and foes.
--- Esther Koch P0204
Who squandered each week just one penny.
He often would swank
Of his wealth in the bank;
It was one way to save, Note bene!
--- 500 Irish Jokes & Lims
To pursue their vainglorious ends,
Doesn't vanish when spent;
It's indirectly sent
To the ccounts of synchophants and friends.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
Simpson always relied and was thanked.
But he's noted, of late,
His account has lost weight...
Now he keeps inside dope sacrosanct.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Said Barclay's: "It's one of your pranks.
No way." What to do?
Turned down by those two;
Like a river, I'm trapped between banks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That her studies would make her invincible,
In her courses on banking
Maintained the top ranking;
Her main interest, of course, was the principal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2520
Detrimental to sound industry.
I surrender all claim
That stands in my name;
Mr. Banker, I trust you'll agree.
--- S Tonkin
Stating, "Matey, you're well overdrawn."
As I stared at the figure,
(six digits or bigger)
I went back to bed with a yawn.
--- Peter Wilkins
With vanishing ink a check signs.
The bank, quick on the take,
An arrest soon did make.
The clerk was then told to resign. (re-sign -- got it?)
--- Gunjan Saraf
Now that the Wolf's at the door.
Forget debt relief
From this World Bank Chief,
And howl as the blood hits the floor.
--- Jarmo
"You're in trouble right up to your neck!
Your account's overdrawn!"
Says Schmeck "Funds all gone?
No problem, I'll write you a check."
--- Observer
Who, now that his money's all spent,
In lodgings, won't stay
For more than one day.
He's no sooner arrived than he's went.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
With the din of your creditors drumming,
The homestead exemption --
A Florida mansion --
Keeps your nest egg alive, well, and humming.
--- Dr Limerick
What assets do debtors purport
They do not still hold?
Not silver or gold,
Those aren't on the asset report.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They must be a devious pair.
They have no TV?
This I have to see;
Been living like some millionaire!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I think he is shit out of luck.
The Debtor's big money
And some little honey,
Ran off to the Island of Truk.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If I tell her 'bout Honey, no doubt.
She will want her share,
And not just the chair.
She'll give him a rolling-pin clout!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Works in ways exceedingly strange.
Its one special vice?
It does not like mice.
The keyboard, it uses full-range.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So, I just sat there pulling faces.
I'm cross-eyes and mad.
I think I've been had;
Send me on some wild goose chases!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Or we'll sue the pants off of you.
We'll shout and we'll holler
To get the last dollar,
So pay up or you're in a stew.
--- Richard Collier
I blew all my dough C. O. D.'in.
Then I lavished the girls
With diamonds and pearls,
And I haven't a pot to pee in.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who stated a theory not rash.
He said people did sicken
And were poverty stricken,
At the time when they ran out of cash.
--- Albin Chaplin
Though you rant, I've no money for rent."
Watch him pant, while she's pent;
He's made scant use of scent,
Saying, "You're what I want!" Then he went.
--- Val Burns P0509
This is file ohl
Endowed with more money than sense.
When a guy she called Sunny
Conned her out of her money,
There went all her pounds and her pence.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who lost all her fortune by fraud.
She once had a lot
But now she has not;
She lost it to the one she adored.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
His body was found so dismembered.
If only he'd paid,
His life could've been saved,
And this is not how 'twould have ended.
--- Donna Ellis
I took out two mortgage renewals;
Don't laugh -- it ain't funny;
And now for more money
I'm selling my family jewels!
--- Anon
Please lay them out here for display.
Give us a look see,
So we can agree,
On a rock bottom price here today.
--- Anon
Too great for a quick-peek inspection;
Let's enlarge your case
To give it more space;
Will you help me do the erection?
--- Anon
Are clean and they're sparkling and pure.
But what if they're not?
What if they've the rot?
Then you'd need a medicinal cure.
--- Anon
Who built up a very large debt.
He bought a gold ring
That was fit for a king,
And a horse, and a car, and a jet!
--- Anon
A pasttime that soon took its toll.
'Twasn't at all funny
To be without money,
Stuck in a deep financial hole.
--- Funny Bone
Threw big parties, was generous, too.
Gave her fortune away!
Now what do her friends say?
"The name don't ring a bell. Cindi who?"
--- Bill Nesbit P0205
Worried about bills and got grayer.
Things he bought on the net
Kept him deeply in debt.
Who cares, the headache's gone with Bayer.
--- Tom Patton P0506
What our statements show we compute.
We've received no reply.
Are you trying to imply
That your unpaid amount's in dispute?
--- Michael Roberts
Said, "I'm broke; I haven't a cent.
I just made two stops
In a couple of shops --
And I'm dashed if I know where it went".
--- Anon
That's odd and peculiarly funny;
For when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was ignorant how to invest.
She put all her money
Into locusts and honey;
The losses were hard to digest.
--- Graham Lester
The wife was well known for her rambling.
The husband they say,
Last week ran away;
He lost all their money while gambling
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Of how coins are made round to go 'round.
But if a few more
Came 'round to my door,
My position once more would be sound.
--- Robert Maxwell
I had just got my winter gas bill.
They say I owe a lot
'Cause I like my house hot,
And now my bank balance shows nil!
--- Anon
It had plenty of items for sale.
I leafed through the pages,
But I believed in my sages;
Without cash, my son, it's no avail.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
I'm getting in over my head!
Haven't balanced my books,
But just by the looks
Of the numbers, my credit is dead!
--- Runningonmt
Take the bank's CEO to your bed;
And then whisper the news
That you'll pay off your dues
In installments, by giving him head.
--- Anon
That he really wants a good lay
Do I send him the bill
So my debt could be nil,
And agree when he asks me to stay?
--- Anon
A "taste" 'fore he'll open his coffer.
She must nibble his head,
Then go lie on the bed
So he'll sample, then pay, and then boff her.
--- ROE
His wife said, "Honey, I declare
On just what they give,
We barely will live,
And not have one dime we can spare.
--- Burmah Teague
Awfully hard, I must say, to make ends
Meet. I've spent my dough
On a floozy y'know,
And I might have to ask you for yens.
--- Anon
The money I had is all spent.
Like a river fast flowing,
The money kept going,
I shall have to stop living for lent.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
It's one that I would like to try
For soothing my nuts,
Soon after young sluts
Offer goods that I'm too broke to buy...
--- Anon
Where my bill just continues to soar;
Such prices -- my ass!
I was once middle-class,
But now I'm in line with the poor!
--- Cap'n Bean
And draw fifty a week on the dole,
And to hear the birds sing
And the waterfalls ring
And a big cosy fire of free coal.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Approached me extending his palm;
His song was extensive
And sounded expensive,
But he got me for only one alm.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who was constantly needing a buck.
When asking for money,
They looked at him funny,
And told him he's shit out of luck.
--- Chuck Golding
Your bill's overdue at this time.
Please pay the amount
As per the account,
Thus bringing it back into line.
--- Marie Ward
You'll not get our products for free.
We'll dig up your lawn.
We'll take your firstborn.
So pay up or get on one knee.
--- Ci-Anne McNaughton
How to pay all your outstanding debts.
You'd better pay now;
We do not care how,
So we can stop all our bullying threats.
--- Michael Roberts
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