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An astronaut fixing the Hubble Pictures from the telescope Hubble Away from pollution and cars, Glowing streaks in the sky, early morn, Yellow orb to the heavens ascends, Bright noon with the sun at its height, The afternoon shimmer pervades, The end of the day is at hand, The moon reflects the sun's light; An English astronomer named Herschel, Said a brilliant astronomer, Hubble, A wonderful tube is the Hubble, A porkbarrel project called Hubble Its construction was poorly inspected, NASA knew the whole thing was all wrong NASA knows if they make the repairs A noted stargazer nocturnal There was an old man who said, "Why I looked at the sky one clear night; There were stars and galaxies galore, I wondered how this would appear Perhaps there's a nebulous cloud; Or maybe I'd be near a cluster I thought I'd enjoy the sky more Newton's telescope was a disaster; Astronomy is sometimes a curse, It looked like a glorious night, They are searching the sky with projectors, It's great to be out in the dark An astronomer fellow named Mark He was an intrepid stargazer, At night the astronomer rouses There once was a young man from Greenwich, But this tale has an unhappy finich, Though in fucking I dearly delight, A patrician young fellow named Lear, A mason, one of the Malones, A pretty young girl Eskimo, There once was a taciturn stroke, I've found a solution, ol' chap, There was an old roue named Cooley; Said a whore in a house in Shit Falls, There was a young man named Walljasper, There was a young blade from South Greece, I'm lacivious too, in my way, A major league pitcher named Clyde Please knit me a sack for my balls; I hope that bright yellow will do. I think she is knitting a beauty, I think I need Kevlar or Nylon; I can't knit with Kevlar, you whiner. And yours, my dear Peter, are yet My testicles are rather hairy; The guy that invented the jock Though some of it offends and appals, Wisdom women pass down through the clan, Exulted a cockster named Ruel, The fact is that Levis and Wranglers There was a young man named Paul, The favorite pastime of grandfather, A fastidious hooker named Hind There was a young man from McGill, A hillbilly gent named Cato A young man from Stratford on Avon, A jovial porter named Tate The crown jewels of Fuckingham Kew
Chewed gum and got into some trouble.
He floated away
And his crewmates would say,
That he should not have blown such a bubble.
--- Richard Long
Cause our scientists too much trouble.
The lens, in reverse
Makes our universe
To appear to be more than double.
--- Tom Patton
I love to gaze up at the stars.
The sky that we're under
Is so full of wonder:
Galaxies! Nebulas! Mars!
--- Ellen
Grand commencement of day, sun's sojourn;
Bursting forth at daybreak,
As you gaze wide-awake,
The full glory of dawning unshorn.
--- Joel D Ash
Sweet mantle of warmth now extends;
Sun dance o’er treetops,
Citron eye of Cyclops,
Staring down on green fields as it wends.
--- Joel D Ash
White light of our shining birthright;
No cloud up above,
Scintillation thereof,
Brilliant sparkles of blinding sunlight.
--- Joel D Ash
The splendor and dazzle cascades;
Ablaze in the blue,
Radiance, golden hue,
Nature basking below in warm glades.
--- Joel D Ash
Sun fades as the shadows expand;
Gleaming sunset, red blush,
Final soft glowing flush,
Then the light rays in darkness disband.
--- Joel D Ash
When Full, it can really be bright.
Astronomers like it New
Or it cuts out the view
Of the fainter objects at night.
--- Tom Campbell
Was considered to be contraversial.
As he looked to the sky,
Telescope to his eye,
He was told he was being commercial.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
If the Earth were not shaped like a bubble,
But instead were made square,
Then its corners, I swear,
Would cause sailors a whole heap of trouble.
--- Anna Pest P0111 P9005
Peering out from its space-platform bubble.
Through billions of years,
The telescope peers,
Turning creationist stuff into rubble!
--- Bert A
Was naught but a boondoggle bubble.
It was built out of scrap
And a real piece of crap;
It will never cause nothing but trouble.
--- Frank Ward P9401
Else its problems would have been detected.
But they knew if it flew
Away out past the blue,
No damned way that it could be rejected.
--- Frank Ward P9401
And it would need repairs before long.
They would put on the show
And as for the dough,
They'd be able to sing their own song.
--- Frank Ward P9401
And none of the credit it shares,
It's a good situation.
When we build a space station,
The contract will damned sure be theirs.
--- Frank Ward P9401
Behaved in a manner infernal,
From the first night in June
When there shone a full moon,
Until after the equinox vernal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9801
I contnue to look at the sky,
Is a matter which pains
The astutest of brains --
Which are none of them mine, by the by."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The heavens were glorious and bright.
As I sat there and gazed
I was greatly amazed
At the glow of the heavenly light
--- Tom Campbell
And nebulae and clusters and more!
Though distances astound,
The light does abound
And shines upon all -- rich and poor.
--- Tom Campbell
If I were someplace other than here.
And I'd see the display
Of our own Milky Way
Up close, and with everything near.
--- Tom Campbell
Its colors so bold and so loud.
Taking up half the sky,
I would probably sigh
And ask, "What is hidden by the shroud?"
--- Tom Campbell
Of a thousand suns with their luster.
The heavens would be bright
And there'd hardly be night;
Sleep would be a hard thing to muster.
--- Tom Campbell
If from somewhere else I could explore;
But I see I was wrong.
I'd not like it for long;
I think Earth is the perfect shore.
--- Tom Campbell
He hated his lens-filled refractor.
Upon reflection, he said,
"I'll try this instead.
I'll make one with mirrors; it's faster."
--- Tom Campbell
And you need more and more of a purse.
You get hunger to feed
Bigger aperture need,
So I ask you, "Now what could be worse?"
--- Tom Campbell
But the streetlamps were turned up too bright.
When shining that way,
The night turned to day,
And made me wish for a rural site.
--- Tom Campbell
Superpowerful top-notch reflectors.
Are they paging to Mars?
Sending E-mail to stars?
Splitting up the night sky into sectors?
--- Nik Syntyskyy
With your telescope; oh, what a lark!
But with a friend or two
That want to share the view,
Now that is a walk in the park.
--- Tom Campbell
Was sure it would be a great lark
To have a girl eye
The stars in the sky
And see what came up in the dark.
--- Isaac Asimov
He found what he sees with a laser.
As he spends days and nights
Watching heavenly sights,
He hoped he would be a trail-blazer!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And all through the cosmos he browses.
But, on cloudier nights
He observes the delights
In the windows of neighboring houses.
--- Alex Heydon P0406
Whose balls were all covered with spinach.
So long was his tool,
It was wound on a spool,
In-ich, by in-ich, by in-ich!
--- A C Swinburne L0167
This is file oem
For due to the sand in the spinach,
His ballocks grew rough,
And wrecked his wife's muff,
And scratched up her thatch in the scrimmage.
--- L0168
Now I'm surely the town's saddest sight.
For the hair on my belly
Wore off fucking Nellie,
And my balls are half-frozen at night.
--- G2005
Used to wash off his balls with beer.
Said he, "By the gods,
This is good for the cods--
It will lengthen my fucking career."
--- L1463
Put a coat of cement on his stones.
"They keep warmer at night,
And are bound to hang tight,
And not bruise themselves on my knee-bones."
--- L1476
Thought it very patriotic to sew,
Ballock-warmers to those,
Who were fighting the foes,
And on whom the North wind would blow.
--- L1417
And rarely it was that he spoke,
But he called to the cox,
"You must care for your jocks
If you value the power to poke."
--- Harold C Bibby
For jeans with the tightest 'crotch trap.'
In crotch, cut a hole
To free balls and pole,
Then apron the front with a flap!
--- Travis Brasell
Whose knockers they dangled unduly.
Said he with a frown,
"I'll tie thee things down,
Or damned if my name ain't Yours Truly."
--- Armand Singer P0207
"While they ain't very stylish, men's balls
Are delightful to feel;
If you squeeze 'em, they squeal,
But don't twist their balls, 'cause they squalls!"
--- G0451
Who invented a fur-lined ball-clasper.
A half turn to the right
Would bring squeals of delight,
To the most sterile, impotent whoremaster.
--- L1361
Whose bush did so greatly increase,
That before he could shack,
He must hunt needle in stack.
'Twas as bad as being obese.
--- L0236
Not straight and not beat and not gay.
But the sight of brass rowlocks
Makes me reach for my ballocks,
With the thought I'd best hide them away.
--- G2742
Had a terrible spat with his bride.
It seems her reproaches
Are the same as his coach's;
His balls are too high and inside.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8303 a
I like to go running through halls.
They're hanging so low,
They swing to and fro,
And often knock paint from the walls.
--- H Welchel
My ball yarns are limited to
Colors like yellow
And orange day-glo.
The rest come in skeins. So do you?
--- Marlene
For wearing on your little cutie.
It's done in a whiz
Because the size is
The same as a small baby's booty.
--- Frank
So knit a tough bag I can try on.
When I race my Honda,
My balls should not wanda --
I don't want to wipe out a pylon.
--- H Welchel
I will knit you one with yellow liner;
It'll be warm and soft
And hold you aloft;
When you're biking, there is nothing finer.
--- Marlene
My favourite bollocks to pet.
Remember last fall
When you tripped in the hall,
And I almost got the whole set?
--- Anon
To see them is something quite scary.
Girls put on a glove
But I won't fall in love,
'Cause I am a bit of a fairy.
--- Aussie Owl
Felt he needed a place for his cock
And his balls, in his shorts,
So while playing his sports,
Everything wouldn't dangle and knock.
--- Cap'n Bean P9902
Girls, it's not that we play with our balls;
Just means we're relieving
The stress when we're heaving
Our genitals 'round in our smalls.
--- Peter Wilkins
We've no balls, yet possess those of man.
A squeeze to the meaty,
He pleads the entreaty,
"You hold me in the palm of your hand."
--- Anon
"The world's oldest game: pocket pool --
The fun never palls,
You bat both your balls,
While gently massaging your tool."
--- Armand Singer P9802
When shrunk in the wash become stranglers,
Of things which us gents
Have, that often get tense
And cause havoc beneath to our danglers.
--- Anon
Who read Mademoiselle and McCall's.
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion,
That he knitted a snood for his balls.
--- L1531
Was tickling his balls with a feather.
But the thing he liked best
Of all of the rest,
Was knocking them gently together.
--- L1426
Said, "I don't want to sound too unkind,
But whenever we tangle,
Both your balls always dangle;
The sight drives me out of my mind."
--- Armand E Singer 184
Who was always seen walking uphill.
When someone inquired,
"My man, aren't you tired?"
He said, "No, it makes my balls thrill."
--- L1296
Wanted sex with his girl on a date-o.
She said, "It's real purty,
But your balls are too dirty;
They look like a fresh dug potato!
--- John Chastaine
Wanted his bollocks clean shaven.
No barbers would do
What he wanted them to,
For they all thought that he was depraven.
--- Maxine Stephen
Had a shiny and round little pate.
The hair his head lacks
Was profuse on his sacs,
So much so, it widens his gait!
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
He's painted a hideous blue.
When the curious ask why, he winks a wise eye,
Saying "That's my reply to the dumb gal or guy
Who invariably asks, 'Well what's new?'"
--- G2384
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