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An astronaut fixing the Hubble
Chewed gum and got into some trouble.
He floated away
And his crewmates would say,
That he should not have blown such a bubble.
--- Richard Long

Pictures from the telescope Hubble
Cause our scientists too much trouble.
The lens, in reverse
Makes our universe
To appear to be more than double.
--- Tom Patton

Away from pollution and cars,
I love to gaze up at the stars.
The sky that we're under
Is so full of wonder:
Galaxies! Nebulas! Mars!
--- Ellen

Glowing streaks in the sky, early morn,
Grand commencement of day, sun's sojourn;
Bursting forth at daybreak,
As you gaze wide-awake,
The full glory of dawning unshorn.
--- Joel D Ash

Yellow orb to the heavens ascends,
Sweet mantle of warmth now extends;
Sun dance oer treetops,
Citron eye of Cyclops,
Staring down on green fields as it wends.
--- Joel D Ash

Bright noon with the sun at its height,
White light of our shining birthright;
No cloud up above,
Scintillation thereof,
Brilliant sparkles of blinding sunlight.
--- Joel D Ash

The afternoon shimmer pervades,
The splendor and dazzle cascades;
Ablaze in the blue,
Radiance, golden hue,
Nature basking below in warm glades.
--- Joel D Ash

The end of the day is at hand,
Sun fades as the shadows expand;
Gleaming sunset, red blush,
Final soft glowing flush,
Then the light rays in darkness disband.
--- Joel D Ash

The moon reflects the sun's light;
When Full, it can really be bright.
Astronomers like it New
Or it cuts out the view
Of the fainter objects at night.
--- Tom Campbell

An English astronomer named Herschel,
Was considered to be contraversial.
As he looked to the sky,
Telescope to his eye,
He was told he was being commercial.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Said a brilliant astronomer, Hubble,
If the Earth were not shaped like a bubble,
But instead were made square,
Then its corners, I swear,
Would cause sailors a whole heap of trouble.
--- Anna Pest P0111 P9005

A wonderful tube is the Hubble,
Peering out from its space-platform bubble.
Through billions of years,
The telescope peers,
Turning creationist stuff into rubble!
--- Bert A

A porkbarrel project called Hubble
Was naught but a boondoggle bubble.
It was built out of scrap
And a real piece of crap;
It will never cause nothing but trouble.
--- Frank Ward P9401

Its construction was poorly inspected,
Else its problems would have been detected.
But they knew if it flew
Away out past the blue,
No damned way that it could be rejected.
--- Frank Ward P9401

NASA knew the whole thing was all wrong
And it would need repairs before long.
They would put on the show
And as for the dough,
They'd be able to sing their own song.
--- Frank Ward P9401

NASA knows if they make the repairs
And none of the credit it shares,
It's a good situation.
When we build a space station,
The contract will damned sure be theirs.
--- Frank Ward P9401

A noted stargazer nocturnal
Behaved in a manner infernal,
From the first night in June
When there shone a full moon,
Until after the equinox vernal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9801

There was an old man who said, "Why
I contnue to look at the sky,
Is a matter which pains
The astutest of brains --
Which are none of them mine, by the by."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I looked at the sky one clear night;
The heavens were glorious and bright.
As I sat there and gazed
I was greatly amazed
At the glow of the heavenly light
--- Tom Campbell

There were stars and galaxies galore,
And nebulae and clusters and more!
Though distances astound,
The light does abound
And shines upon all -- rich and poor.
--- Tom Campbell

I wondered how this would appear
If I were someplace other than here.
And I'd see the display
Of our own Milky Way
Up close, and with everything near.
--- Tom Campbell

Perhaps there's a nebulous cloud;
Its colors so bold and so loud.
Taking up half the sky,
I would probably sigh
And ask, "What is hidden by the shroud?"
--- Tom Campbell

Or maybe I'd be near a cluster
Of a thousand suns with their luster.
The heavens would be bright
And there'd hardly be night;
Sleep would be a hard thing to muster.
--- Tom Campbell

I thought I'd enjoy the sky more
If from somewhere else I could explore;
But I see I was wrong.
I'd not like it for long;
I think Earth is the perfect shore.
--- Tom Campbell

Newton's telescope was a disaster;
He hated his lens-filled refractor.
Upon reflection, he said,
"I'll try this instead.
I'll make one with mirrors; it's faster."
--- Tom Campbell

Astronomy is sometimes a curse,
And you need more and more of a purse.
You get hunger to feed
Bigger aperture need,
So I ask you, "Now what could be worse?"
--- Tom Campbell

It looked like a glorious night,
But the streetlamps were turned up too bright.
When shining that way,
The night turned to day,
And made me wish for a rural site.
--- Tom Campbell

They are searching the sky with projectors,
Superpowerful top-notch reflectors.
Are they paging to Mars?
Sending E-mail to stars?
Splitting up the night sky into sectors?
--- Nik Syntyskyy

It's great to be out in the dark
With your telescope; oh, what a lark!
But with a friend or two
That want to share the view,
Now that is a walk in the park.
--- Tom Campbell

An astronomer fellow named Mark
Was sure it would be a great lark
To have a girl eye
The stars in the sky
And see what came up in the dark.
--- Isaac Asimov

He was an intrepid stargazer,
He found what he sees with a laser.
As he spends days and nights
Watching heavenly sights,
He hoped he would be a trail-blazer!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

At night the astronomer rouses
And all through the cosmos he browses.
But, on cloudier nights
He observes the delights
In the windows of neighboring houses.
--- Alex Heydon P0406

There once was a young man from Greenwich,
Whose balls were all covered with spinach.
So long was his tool,
It was wound on a spool,
In-ich, by in-ich, by in-ich!
--- A C Swinburne L0167

This is file oem

But this tale has an unhappy finich,
For due to the sand in the spinach,
His ballocks grew rough,
And wrecked his wife's muff,
And scratched up her thatch in the scrimmage.
--- L0168

Though in fucking I dearly delight,
Now I'm surely the town's saddest sight.
For the hair on my belly
Wore off fucking Nellie,
And my balls are half-frozen at night.
--- G2005

A patrician young fellow named Lear,
Used to wash off his balls with beer.
Said he, "By the gods,
This is good for the cods--
It will lengthen my fucking career."
--- L1463

A mason, one of the Malones,
Put a coat of cement on his stones.
"They keep warmer at night,
And are bound to hang tight,
And not bruise themselves on my knee-bones."
--- L1476

A pretty young girl Eskimo,
Thought it very patriotic to sew,
Ballock-warmers to those,
Who were fighting the foes,
And on whom the North wind would blow.
--- L1417

There once was a taciturn stroke,
And rarely it was that he spoke,
But he called to the cox,
"You must care for your jocks
If you value the power to poke."
--- Harold C Bibby

I've found a solution, ol' chap,
For jeans with the tightest 'crotch trap.'
In crotch, cut a hole
To free balls and pole,
Then apron the front with a flap!
--- Travis Brasell

There was an old roue named Cooley;
Whose knockers they dangled unduly.
Said he with a frown,
"I'll tie thee things down,
Or damned if my name ain't Yours Truly."
--- Armand Singer P0207

Said a whore in a house in Shit Falls,
"While they ain't very stylish, men's balls
Are delightful to feel;
If you squeeze 'em, they squeal,
But don't twist their balls, 'cause they squalls!"
--- G0451

There was a young man named Walljasper,
Who invented a fur-lined ball-clasper.
A half turn to the right
Would bring squeals of delight,
To the most sterile, impotent whoremaster.
--- L1361

There was a young blade from South Greece,
Whose bush did so greatly increase,
That before he could shack,
He must hunt needle in stack.
'Twas as bad as being obese.
--- L0236

I'm lacivious too, in my way,
Not straight and not beat and not gay.
But the sight of brass rowlocks
Makes me reach for my ballocks,
With the thought I'd best hide them away.
--- G2742

A major league pitcher named Clyde
Had a terrible spat with his bride.
It seems her reproaches
Are the same as his coach's;
His balls are too high and inside.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8303 a

Please knit me a sack for my balls;
I like to go running through halls.
They're hanging so low,
They swing to and fro,
And often knock paint from the walls.
--- H Welchel

I hope that bright yellow will do.
My ball yarns are limited to
Colors like yellow
And orange day-glo.
The rest come in skeins. So do you?
--- Marlene

I think she is knitting a beauty,
For wearing on your little cutie.
It's done in a whiz
Because the size is
The same as a small baby's booty.
--- Frank

I think I need Kevlar or Nylon;
So knit a tough bag I can try on.
When I race my Honda,
My balls should not wanda --
I don't want to wipe out a pylon.
--- H Welchel

I can't knit with Kevlar, you whiner.
I will knit you one with yellow liner;
It'll be warm and soft
And hold you aloft;
When you're biking, there is nothing finer.
--- Marlene

And yours, my dear Peter, are yet
My favourite bollocks to pet.
Remember last fall
When you tripped in the hall,
And I almost got the whole set?
--- Anon

My testicles are rather hairy;
To see them is something quite scary.
Girls put on a glove
But I won't fall in love,
'Cause I am a bit of a fairy.
--- Aussie Owl

The guy that invented the jock
Felt he needed a place for his cock
And his balls, in his shorts,
So while playing his sports,
Everything wouldn't dangle and knock.
--- Cap'n Bean P9902

Though some of it offends and appals,
Girls, it's not that we play with our balls;
Just means we're relieving
The stress when we're heaving
Our genitals 'round in our smalls.
--- Peter Wilkins

Wisdom women pass down through the clan,
We've no balls, yet possess those of man.
A squeeze to the meaty,
He pleads the entreaty,
"You hold me in the palm of your hand."
--- Anon

Exulted a cockster named Ruel,
"The world's oldest game: pocket pool --
The fun never palls,
You bat both your balls,
While gently massaging your tool."
--- Armand Singer P9802

The fact is that Levis and Wranglers
When shrunk in the wash become stranglers,
Of things which us gents
Have, that often get tense
And cause havoc beneath to our danglers.
--- Anon

There was a young man named Paul,
Who read Mademoiselle and McCall's.
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion,
That he knitted a snood for his balls.
--- L1531

The favorite pastime of grandfather,
Was tickling his balls with a feather.
But the thing he liked best
Of all of the rest,
Was knocking them gently together.
--- L1426

A fastidious hooker named Hind
Said, "I don't want to sound too unkind,
But whenever we tangle,
Both your balls always dangle;
The sight drives me out of my mind."
--- Armand E Singer 184

There was a young man from McGill,
Who was always seen walking uphill.
When someone inquired,
"My man, aren't you tired?"
He said, "No, it makes my balls thrill."
--- L1296

A hillbilly gent named Cato
Wanted sex with his girl on a date-o.
She said, "It's real purty,
But your balls are too dirty;
They look like a fresh dug potato!
--- John Chastaine

A young man from Stratford on Avon,
Wanted his bollocks clean shaven.
No barbers would do
What he wanted them to,
For they all thought that he was depraven.
--- Maxine Stephen

A jovial porter named Tate
Had a shiny and round little pate.
The hair his head lacks
Was profuse on his sacs,
So much so, it widens his gait!
--- Jim Weaver Collection A

The crown jewels of Fuckingham Kew
He's painted a hideous blue.
When the curious ask why, he winks a wise eye,
Saying "That's my reply to the dumb gal or guy
Who invariably asks, 'Well what's new?'"
--- G2384


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